Confessing to the Cowboy

chapter 9



Cameron felt as if he’d entered a dream world. All rational thought had escaped his brain the moment he’d kissed Mary. Now with her naked body pressed against his he was lost in her warmth, in her sweet scent.

As their lips clung together he filled his palms with her full breasts, loving the way her nipples instantly rose in response and she gasped in pleasure against his mouth.

On some level he knew what they were doing was wrong, that the timing was off and they’d never even been on a date. There had been no courtship and yet he couldn’t imagine how something that felt so right could be wrong in any way.

There were no thoughts of crimes or criminals, no disturbing visions of the dead as he moved his mouth along the curve of her jaw and down the slender column of her neck. She grabbed hold of his hair, and his tongue slid across one of her turgid nipples, teasing the tip with gentle flicks.

“Cameron,” she whispered his name as he captured the nipple in his mouth, loving the taste of her. There was no question in the single word that escaped her lips, just a sense of wonder that made him want to please her like no man had ever pleased her before and never would again.

With this thought in mind he set about to drive her insane with desire, to make her body sing beneath his slow caresses and soulful kisses.

They moved together as if they’d made love a thousand times before, and Cameron had done so in his dreams for years. He knew her taste, the feel of her silky skin against his hands, the whispered sighs of delight that escaped her with each touch.

What surprised him was that she gave as she received, eagerly stroking his skin, pressing her lips against his throat, his chest. He couldn’t get close enough to her and she seemed just as insistent.

The desire he felt that was already at fever pitch only rose higher when she encircled his hardness in her hand. He gasped and held his breath, afraid that by her intimate touch it would all end before it had truly begun.

He strained against the need for his own release, wanting nothing more than to part her legs, enter her and finish whether she was with him or not. But he wasn’t going to do that. He wanted her with him all the way.

Instead of focusing on the sensations she wrought in him, he slid his hand down the flat of her stomach, along her inner thigh and found her moist center with his fingertips.

Instantly her fingers around him slackened as she arched up her hips to meet his feathering touch. A low moan escaped her lips, and he moved his fingers faster, wanting her to reach her release, needing her to completely shatter before he took her.

She grasped the sheets on either side of her, her eyes fluttering as she shuddered with her climax. It was the sexiest, most amazing thing Cameron had ever seen and immediately he moved between her thighs, needing to bury himself in her heat.

She welcomed him, grabbing his buttocks to pull him in closer, and as he sank deep within her he felt as if he’d finally come home. For several long moments he didn’t move, but remained perfectly still, with the warmth of her breath on the underside of his jaw.

He wanted to stay frozen in this moment, buried deep inside her and her gaze holding his with a sense of sweet wonder. But he couldn’t help the primal needs of his body, his own need for release. He pulled his hips back and stroked back into her in a slow rhythm that had her gasping his name with surrender.

Faster and faster he moved against her, her fingernails raking erotically across his back as his own release built closer and closer.

His climax overwhelmed him, and he stiffened against her, crying out her name. They remained unmoving, still engaged with him holding the bulk of his weight on his elbows.

“I should bring you good news more often,” he finally said.

She laughed, the joyful sound wrapping around his heart. “Oh, Cameron, that was amazing and you’ve given me back my life,” she said.

Just that quickly all the elements of the case thundered back into his mind. He kissed her on the forehead and then rolled away from her. “I’ll be right back.” He grabbed his clothes from the floor and padded naked across her living room and into the bathroom.

It was only as he got dressed that the full ramifications of his news to her struck him. Her abusive ex-husband was alive and possibly killing people she cared about, women in his town.

As he exited the bathroom she disappeared into it and Cameron sat back down at the kitchen table to wait for her.

Making love with her had been more amazing than any fantasy or dream he’d ever entertained. He could still smell the faint raspberry scent of her lingering on his skin, a fragrance that made a new desire for her roar through him.

But he couldn’t think about that now. This had simply been a beautiful respite in the hell that was going on all around them. He had more important things to think about, more important things to discuss with her than what this had meant to each of them or when would be the next time they could get together intimately.

She came out of the bathroom once again dressed for her day at work, but with a smile and a twinkle in her bright blue eyes that hadn’t been there before.

“I can’t tell you how much I wanted that to happen,” she said as she sat in the chair next to him. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips slightly swollen and he’d never seen her looking so achingly beautiful.

“Mary, I’ve cared about you and your son for a very long time, and as happy as you are to discover that you aren’t a murderer, you have to realize that in all probability Jason is either here in town or has hired somebody to do his dirty work...and that dirty work probably includes your eventual murder.”

The shining light in her eyes dimmed slightly and her smile fell as she held his gaze. “I know that,” she replied soberly. “And I’m hoping that you’ll find him before that happens. At least now you know what you’re looking for. If he paid somebody, then that person would suddenly be flush with cash, and if he’s here in town, somewhere sooner or later somebody will see him.”

Cameron nodded, his mind already working the details of what needed to be done. “I’ve downloaded a picture of Jason taken ten years ago, the latest picture of him I could find, and I’m going to distribute it all over town. Granted, he could have changed some in those years, but hopefully somebody will recognize him. I’m also going to check around to see who maybe has bought a flashy new car or is tossing around cash that he or she shouldn’t have. But in the meantime I’m worried about you.”

“I’m a little worried about me, too,” she admitted with a self-conscious laugh.

“Why don’t you and Matt move in with me for a while?” Although he made the offer with her safety in mind, there was no question that he liked the idea of her and Matt beneath his roof.

“Cameron, you have a killer to catch. The last thing you need is to babysit us.” She swept a strand of her blond hair behind one ear and looked around the room. “We’re as safe here as we would be anywhere. The café is full of people from dawn until late night.” She raised her chin a notch higher. “Besides, I’m not going to let him chase me away from my home, from my livelihood. He took enough away from me when we were married.”

She leaned forward, her eyes burning with a fervent light. “Just find him, Cameron. Find whoever it is before they kill somebody else...before he does get to me.”

What he wanted to do was wrap her up in body armor to keep her safe. What he’d like to do was whisk her and her son far away from Grady Gulch until these crimes were solved and somebody was in jail. But he could tell by the determined glint in her eyes that neither of those were options.

“Then I’d better get moving,” he said reluctantly as he got up from the table. “I’ve got a killer to catch.”

She stood, as well. “And I have a café to run.”

For a moment they simply looked at each other and then she moved to him, raised up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you, Cameron.”

“For what?” he asked.

“For not arresting me the minute I confessed to murder, for taking the time to check things out and discovering the truth. Thank you for making me feel like a beautiful, desirable woman for the first time in years and reminding me that lovemaking isn’t all about pain and degradation.”

Her words created a lump in the back of his throat and as he kissed her on the forehead he swore that he’d do everything in his power to make sure that she and Matt survived to live a full and happy life in his town...hopefully with him.

Once back at the office, it didn’t take him long to get things rolling. He sent Ben to the printer with the photo of Jason McKnight and with the instructions to make enough flyers not only to be posted in Grady Gulch but in Evanston, as well.

It was possible that Jason McKnight could be staying in the neighboring town and only coming into Grady Gulch in the dark of night for his reign of terror.

He also assigned a couple deputies to check more closely into both Denver Walton’s and Thomas Manning’s financial records.

The fact that Denver was driving around in a brand-new truck with no means of visible support was troubling, as was Thomas Manning’s history with his waitress wife. Both needed closer scrutiny.

They could possibly be on Jason McKnight’s payroll. Denver might have joined the dark side in a desperate escape from Maddy and her money and Thomas for personal reasons of misguided revenge.

Once again he logged on to his computer to look up up Jason and Samantha McKnight. He wound up finding a grainy newspaper photo of their wedding. She was clad in a simple long white dress with beading across the bodice. She looked young and innocent and with the expectancy of love shining from her eyes. The photo broke his heart as he knew all her expectations had been shattered by a violent, abusive man.

Jason was suave and slender in a black tuxedo. His black hair was perfectly styled and he had the features of an aristocrat, but it was the flat, cold proprietary gaze at Samantha that turned Cameron’s stomach.

He had to find Jason McKnight, and if Jason wasn’t around but was rather pulling strings from afar, then Cameron had to find his puppet.

As he thought of Mary and the danger she was in, his heart crunched painfully in his chest. He had to protect her at all costs. He wasn’t about to lose something just as it had been found.

* * *

Concentration was next to impossible for Mary as the afternoon wore on. She screwed up two orders and, during every spare minute, found herself drifting off into thoughts of Cameron and what they’d shared.

The fact that she hadn’t murdered Jason was both a curse and a blessing. She would never again have to look over her shoulder waiting for a tap from a lawman with a warrant, and yet now she had to keep vigilant to make sure Jason didn’t get a chance to finish what she’d always thought he’d do during their marriage—kill her.

At some point during her marriage she’d begun to believe that she would die at Jason’s hand and her greatest fear had been that Matt would be left to live the horrendous life she’d lived with her husband. Even now the thought of Jason putting his hands on Matt shot sheer terror through her heart.

She wasn’t sure how she felt about what had happened between her and Cameron earlier that morning. Making love with him had been a gift, an amazing affirmation she’d desperately needed.

Was she in love with him? She wasn’t sure. She’d always admired not just his physical stature, but his intelligence, his morality and his solid dependability. She’d loved their late-night talks about movies and the weather and whatever else entered their minds.

Still, she’d spent so much time telling herself any kind of a relationship with him was impossible. It didn’t quite feel real and that made her realize she was in no way ready to jump into a relationship with any man. She felt as if she’d just been given back her life and now she had to make sure she stayed alive.

There was no way she could think about a relationship with anyone until the danger to her staff and herself had passed. As long as Jason was out there, whoever she got close to would be at risk, as well.

Her wayward thoughts were interrupted by a commotion in the kitchen. As she headed in, Junior Lempke raced out, obviously escaping Rusty’s temper.

“What’s up?” she asked the big man who was scrapping down the grill and cursing up a storm.

“Regina is making me crazy,” Rusty said. “She doesn’t take the orders right and then they come back to me with complaints. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of her.”

It was the first time Mary had ever heard him bitch about a waitress. “I’ll talk to her,” she replied in an attempt to halt one of Rusty’s temper tantrums before it became one of his legendary ones.

“You do that,” he said curtly. “Shirley used to be the same way, God rest her soul. She was a good woman, but she screwed up her orders a lot, too. It just makes it so much easier if everyone does their jobs right the first time.”

As Mary went to talk to Regina, Mary’s heart thundered with an unexpected rumble of uneasiness. It was odd that Rusty had not only complained about Regina but had also mentioned Shirley Cook, as well.

Rusty’s cabin behind the café was completely isolated. It would be easy for somebody to come and go from there without anyone being the wiser.

Just a coincidence, she told herself. There was no way she could believe that Rusty was behind the murders. Besides, how would Rusty meet Jason? The cook was busy at the café most of the time and Rusty certainly didn’t appear to have come into a windfall of money recently.

Don’t get overly paranoid, she thought as she pulled Regina aside and told her she needed to take more care with her orders. She had to trust the people she surrounded herself with on a daily basis, otherwise she would go completely mad.

At dinnertime Maddy Billings showed up alone, a sour look on her pretty face as she glanced around the café, obviously looking for Denver and Lynette, who Mary knew were together on a date in Evanston.

Maddy flopped down in a booth near the door, her expression as sour as a lemon as she slammed her zebra-print purse on the booth seat next to her. Mary decided to wait on her and approached her with a friendly smile. “Hey, Maddy, nice to see you this evening.”

Maddy sniffed disdainfully, as if sitting in the booth she’d often sat in with Denver was far below her standards. “I see that Lynette Shivers isn’t working tonight, so I suppose the rumors are true and she’s with Denver tonight.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t keep track of my waitresses when they’re off duty,” Mary replied smoothly. “Now, what can I get for you?”

“If she thinks she’s going to have a relationship with Denver then she’s sadly mistaken. Denver has belonged to me since we were teenagers. Oh, we have our little spats and he comes in here and flirts with all the waitresses, but he always comes back to me where he belongs.” She raised her pointy little chin as if for punctuation.

“Maddy, I’m just here to feed you,” Mary replied evenly.

Maddy sighed with impatience as if what she really wanted was to discuss at length her dysfunctional romantic life. “Just give me one of those dinner salads and a diet cola.” She dismissed Mary with a wave of her hand.

Although Mary wasn’t one to get involved with town romances, she almost wished Denver would find a nice woman and settle down, a young woman who wasn’t Maddy Billings, a woman who didn’t think she could buy people and love.

Denver did like to flirt with the waitresses, and if Shirley and Dorothy had been young and carefree like Candy and Lynette, then Maddy would have been on the top of the suspect list, at least before Mary had learned that Jason was still alive.

What if it wasn’t Jason who was responsible? After all, it had been years. For all she knew Jason could have moved out of the country, divorced her and then forgotten all about her and Matt and built a new life with a new young woman he could dominate and control. And yet that didn’t explain either the anniversary card or the stuffed frog.

By the time the dinner rush began she had the mother of all headaches, torn between every theory of the case that flittered through her mind. What if Cameron focused only on the Jason angle and missed the real killer who could be a Grady Gulch native with motives they had yet to discern?

There was no guarantee that Jason was behind everything that had happened here in Grady Gulch. The anniversary card hadn’t been signed and might have had something to do with the café, not with her. The stuffed frog could have been from any one of Matt’s many friends. Maybe she’d overreacted to both because of her own guilty conscience.

Jason could simply be a red herring that would deflect law enforcement’s attention from the real killer and the real motives for the murders.

The only thing that soothed her aching head was thoughts of the moments she’d spent in Cameron’s arms that morning. He had been passionate and yet with an innate tenderness that had soothed many of the ragged edges of her soul, tattered remains she hadn’t even known had been left behind by her marriage.

Cameron had given her hope again, a hope she believed she’d never feel again. He’d made her believe in all kinds of possibilities. She could find happiness again, she could find the kind of love she deserved with a special man, a man who could be a loving stepfather to Matt.

That night after the café closed, as always Mary checked on her son and found him still awake. “Can’t sleep?” she asked as she sat down next to him on his bed.

“I’m trying, but I’m really not very sleepy.”

She reached out and stroked a strand of his blond hair off his forehead and realized it was time he knew the truth about her past...about his father.

“I need to talk to you about something that’s not going to be very pleasant,” she said.

Matt sat up and rubbed his eyes, his gaze curious in the light shining in from the living room. “Talk about what?”

Mary stared at his sweet little face and her heart felt heavier than she could remember in a long time. She’d somehow always expected this moment to come, but she’d never realized how difficult it would be.

She not only had to tell her son that she’d lied about the car accident that had supposedly taken his father’s life, but she also had to tell him that his father was a monster.

“I’ve lied to you.”

Her words made Matt’s eyes widen in shock. “You lied to me? About what?”

Slowly, haltingly, she told him everything, about the abuse, about the night she’d taken him and fled and that it was possible his father might be doing bad things now to punish her.

Matt took it all surprisingly well, with few questions and the comment that if the man who was his father had beaten Mary, then he was glad that man wasn’t in their lives. “If he’s a killer then I hope Sheriff Evans catches him and puts him in jail forever.”

They hugged, and Matt settled in to sleep, but Mary had a feeling there would be more questions from him as he processed the information she’d told him.

She took a quick shower and then changed into her nightshirt. With a cup of freshly brewed plum tea in hand she walked to the windows that faced the small cabins in the distance.

It had been in one of those cabins that the whole madness had begun, with Candy Bailey’s murder. Of the four cabins only one was occupied now by Rusty. A faint light spilled from the front window of his tiny cabin.

The other three cabins were illuminated faintly by the light of the big, fat moon overhead. The cabins had always been a safe place for people, particularly women in need. When she’d first come to Grady Gulch broke and with a two-year-old, the owner had allowed her and Matt to live in one of those cabins.

Over the years since Mary had taken over, she’d often had a down-and-out waitress living there, wanting to pay forward the kindness she’d received when she’d first come to town.

Now those cabins only signified isolation and death. She would never forget Candy’s lifeless body and she didn’t think she’d ever allow a vulnerable woman alone to stay in one of them again.

A small gasp escaped her as she thought she saw a figure move between two of the cabins. She froze, her heart crashing against her ribs as a frantic terror rose up the back of her throat.

Was it him? The killer? Was it Jason coming to finally make her pay for what she’d done to him? But he didn’t appear to be moving toward the café.

In the blink of an eye the figure was gone, making her wonder if she’d seen somebody or not. Tall trees surrounded the small structures and a light breeze stirred among the nearly bare branches. Had she only seen a dancing shadow of a tree branch in the moonlight?

Should she call Cameron or was she merely jumping at shadows? She took a step backward, aware that she was silhouetted by the light in the room. With a trembling hand she placed her cup on the coffee table and turned off the light, plunging her room into darkness and then moved back to the window. An icy shiver slid up her back, one that had nothing to do with the coolness of the room.

Once again she peered outside, this time her vision better without the light on in the room. Nothing. Nothing but a faint night breeze shifting the tree branches in a ghostly landscape.

She didn’t know how long she stood at the window, a frightened sentry guarding her home and her son before she finally convinced herself she was being silly. She was jumping at tree movement, seeing shadows of killers who weren’t there.

With a tremulous sigh she finally moved away from the window and headed into her bedroom. She still felt spooked, but was certain she was overreaching due to a heightened sense of imagination.

All the talk of Jason had brought back hurtful and horrific memories that had haunted her throughout the day. Still, she found some comfort as she burrowed beneath the covers on her bed, within the sheets that still smelled vaguely of Cameron.

She could love him, if she let go and allowed herself, but at the moment she was afraid that in loving him she’d put him at risk. She was afraid that she’d put him in the sights of a killer who wanted to destroy everything she cared about and, finally, she was scared that somehow, someway, if it were Jason behind all this, she wouldn’t survive him again.