Breaking the Rules

chapter 6





Susana cut the cards and shuffled them gently, taking care not to disturb the energy in them. They’d been her grandmother’s favorite set. The memory of her grandmother suddenly clung around her, almost pushing the breath from her lungs. What on earth would Granna think about her sitting here naked with a strange man?

Her fingers trembled and she struggled not to drop the cards. This was all a big mistake. Joe had offered for them to keep their clothes on. Her demand had stripped them both bare. What kind of girl actually wanted to see a man’s naked body?

The kind of girl she’d always turned up her nose at. Who she’d felt sorry for, even as she felt sorry for herself for being different.

She blew out a soft breath, keeping her eyes low, away from the awesome spectacle of Joe’s naked body.

A glorious body, beautiful and masculine. Everything about it big—broad shoulders, powerful limbs thick with muscle, the magnificent eagle tattoo spreading its wings across his chest. The long white scar slashing across his hard, flat belly.

And his…

Better not to think about that. She drew in a surreptitious breath, trying to keep her cool.

Or what was left of it.

The cards. That’s why you’re here. Focus on the cards.

Odd how being naked in front of this man didn’t make her feel ashamed. He sat there quietly, patiently—anxious, she could tell. Anxious because he believed in her powers. She knew whether someone sat ready to listen, or whether they itched to dismiss her as a fake.

She sneaked a glance up at Joe as she prepared to spread the cards. He forced a quick smile, trying to put her at ease. She could tell he was a kind man, or had been once. Like he said, neither of them knew who he’d become.

But that was beside the point.

Her business was the reading at hand. Love.

Her fingers tingled with anticipation and apprehension. She had something at stake here too. She wanted to know the future of Joe’s love life.

Because she wondered… It’s not your place to speculate. No good came of trying to predict your own destiny, any decent seer knew that.

She laid three cards face-up between them on the white bedspread, announcing as she did, “Past, present, future.”

Uh-oh.

As her mind quickly calculated the meanings she was tempted to gather them up and make an excuse and start again. Sometimes stray vibrations produced a reading that didn’t accurately reflect the question at hand. It was perfectly acceptable to scratch a reading and start over.

She looked at Joe, who glanced up at her, eager, nervous. And she couldn’t lie to him.

“The first card is the queen of clubs.”

“I can see that.”

“It stands for a woman.”

“Aha.” He shifted and she could almost hear the tension crackling through his body. He expected her to talk about his past, about the woman who’d… Well, she had no idea what that woman had done to him.

But the cards spoke of a different woman.

“The card signifies fire and art. Power and passion.” She looked up at him.

“Not sure that describes my ex too well. Greed and deceit would be more accurate.” She could see him relaxing. Because he’d dismissed the reading out of hand. He no longer believed her.

And maybe that was for the best.

She paused, tore her eyes from his and placed her hand lightly over the card. The vibrations hummed in her fingertips. The power. “This is the card my grandmother used in readings to signify…” The word caught in her throat.

Power and passion, the force of her gift.

“What?” Joe looked curious. No longer nervous now he didn’t take the process seriously. His eyes drifted to her breasts, and her nipples tightened.

How much of herself should she bare? “She used it to signify me.”

Joe’s eyes snapped back to her face. “You?”

She nodded. “Fire and art, the fire of the life force, and the art to read and interpret it.”

“But why would it show you in my past? We don’t have a past. Unless you count that one reading.” His forehead creased in perplexity.

“Perhaps it refers to that night. To the reading that set you on a course.”

“The wrong course.” His eyes narrowed and she could hear the edge in his voice. He hadn’t quite forgiven her.

“Again you’re jumping to conclusions.”

“Oh?” He cocked an eyebrow.

“Perhaps it was the right course.”

“Yeah, right. I guess I was supposed to get my heart ripped out of my chest and tossed in the trash.” He looked away into the darkened room, the candlelight flickering over his hard, handsome features.

“But where did that course bring you?” She cautioned herself to go slow. To ask more questions than she answered.

“To the pit of hell.” He hissed the words through almost closed lips, staring at the dark floor.

“And then where?”

He lifted his head, and his eyes crept back to meet hers. “Here.”

She didn’t speak. She’d learned over the years to provide the facts and let the seeker draw their own conclusions. It took time and patience and wasn’t good for business. But it was good for the seeker.

“Hmph.” He lifted a hand and rubbed his opposite bicep. “Okay… So what does the next card say, the Present?”

A shimmer of adrenaline stung her as she licked her lips, preparing to part with the words.

“The six of hearts. It’s a good card. It speaks of kindness, of the beginning of a new relationship.” She kept her eyes firmly focused on the card, the six red hearts almost seeming to beat in the flickering candlelight. “Or blessings on an old one.”

“Or all of the above?” Joe’s eyes searched her face.

“Possibly.” She stilled her tongue.

He nodded. “You’ve been kind to me. Given me a place to sleep, made me breakfast. We have an old relationship in that I remembered you and came back—for whatever reason.” He paused, blinked, his gaze darting from eye to eye. “I don’t know why I came back, I honestly don’t. Something pulled me there.”

Fate.

She didn’t say it though. Let him draw his own conclusions. It was safer, for him anyway.

“And the beginnings of a new relationship.” His face brightened, almost glowing in the golden light from the single flame.

He held his hand out and she took it. Warm and firm. Pleasure stirred in her as she watched a smile spread across his mouth and light his harsh features.

She kept her eyes firmly fixed on his face, fighting the urge to let them wander over his thick muscles, down the trail of black hair that snaked over his belly to his…

He’d just broken the no-touching rule.

She tugged at her hand, trying to pull it back.

“Do you really want to do that?”

“No,” she admitted. She wanted to touch him. To hold him, even. Her eyes dropped to the eagle spreading its wings over his broad chest, proud head held high.

Excitement rustled inside her at the thought of spreading her own wings. Of flying free.

Free of the bounds of tradition and obligation. Free of the “gift” that held her in bondage. Free of her grandmother’s rules and restrictions. To be an ordinary girl, with an ordinary life.

With a man.

Joe bent his head and she instinctively rose to meet him. His lips brushed her cheek, warm breath caressing her. He slid toward her, crushing the cards as his arms closed around her shoulders.

Her hands slid under his armpits and stretched to reach around his thick torso. “Oh, Joe.” The words escaped her as she let herself fall into his embrace. So solid, warm and steady.

And more.

Joe kissed her ear, his tongue flicking gently over her earlobe to send a shudder that rippled to her toes. As her nipples hardened they grazed the firm muscle of his chest. She gasped at the sensation, fleeting yet so intense.

Then she remembered the third card.

The five of diamonds. A card of warning.

Joe’s finger skated up her spine as goose bumps sprang up on her arms and breasts. His hand dove into her hair, fingers tangling behind her neck as he cupped her head and tipped it back.

Her fingers stiffened, ready to push him back, to give him the warning. But his mouth stole her breath and her resolve.

As his tongue plunged in she softened in his arms. He’d come to her, come for her. He wanted her.

She didn’t know what exactly he wanted. Not a lifetime of love. He wanted her body. Her breasts. One broad hand covered her right breast, chafing the nipple with his thumb. Already creating tremors, spasms in muscles she never knew she had.

What was she doing?

She knew. She’d been there in her dream. Felt the ghostly foreshadowing of these powerful sensations, now far more intense in reality than in imagination.

He tugged her to him, his hard arousal pushing bluntly against her belly. The fierce edge of his need tangible in the force of his kiss, in the pressure of his fingertips on her skin.

And she felt her own need growing within her like a dark force. Twenty-three years old and until Joe she’d never known the touch of a man. Never had a rough cheek brush against hers, or known the demand of a strong embrace.

His hands slid down her back, grazing the skin in a gentle caress, sending shivers of longing that penetrated to her heart.

She moaned as he cupped her buttocks and pulled her up against him, crushing her breasts against his chest, burying them in the eagle’s wings. Her belly rubbed against his, over the scar that had healed but would never disappear.

She knew his scars went beyond the visible. She’d seen the pain in his eyes, black as they were, like hers. She’d looked past the reflective onyx surface to the soul within, and his was wounded. Possibly in a way that would never heal.

He wasn’t hers to keep, and she knew that.

Tonight you shall meet the woman you are destined to spend your life with. Her own words taunted her.

What if she’d acted differently then? If she’d claimed the life presented in the crystal ball? If she’d reached out to him?

But he was gadjo—non-gypsy, unclean and off limits. And she was spoken for—by tradition, by pride, by family.

What she did now was wrong. All wrong.

She shoved her fingers roughly into his hair, tugged on it. Her body hummed with strange messages, contradictory songs of warning and desire, and she couldn’t understand them. Didn’t want to.

And Joe’s hand slid under their bellies and between her legs. His fingers already wet with evidence of her longing.

Heat softened her limbs, melting her as desire threatened to quash all rational thought. But as his hand dove into the hot, damp space between her legs, she knew they were coming close to the point of no return.

“Stop.”

Instantly he stopped. Withdrew his hand from between her thighs. Opened his eyes.

His arousal throbbed once against her belly, startling her. Then he pulled away, leaving nothing but empty air touching her skin. Leaving the cards crumpled and disarranged on the bedspread.

He knelt before her, fiercely aroused yet holding himself back. Respecting her.

She hesitated, kneeling, naked and glowing with arousal. Muscles pulsed, soft tissues throbbed, craving his touch.

“I’ve never done this before.”

“That’s okay. We can take it slow.” She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. “Or stop.”

A muscle twitched in his cheek.

She should stop. This was crazy.

Did she really want to risk losing her powers? To give up the gift that set her apart?

Joe held out his hand to her, palm up. She took it.

“It’s okay to be nervous. We can just hold each other.”

Heat from his palm sizzled against hers. The vibrations stronger than anything she’d ever felt from the cards or the seeing globe.

The energy gathering between them threatened to dwarf the powers she’d cultivated and nurtured, that she’d built her whole life around.

But how could she live if she no longer had the ability to read fortunes? Could she fake it?

Or should she fake it now? Tell him she’d changed her mind. That she wasn’t interested. Invoke the rules.

Joe settled back onto his haunches, squeezed her hand. She could see his desire still rigid and unyielding, waiting and hoping.

And she hadn’t warned him about the third card. Again she held secrets close to her chest, guarding her advantage.

But this time her chest was bare. Her breasts exposed, nipples tight and flushed with arousal. She owed him the truth. This time at least she wouldn’t deny him that.

“The third card…” She paused, tossed her hair behind her back, then regretted it as she realized she’d left her breasts totally uncovered. Joe’s eyes dropped to them.

Again she felt the power she wielded. Not just psychic power but the power of a woman, the power to give or to withhold.

Joe’s black eyes rose to meet hers.

“The third card…?” he repeated, a question in his voice.

“It’s not a good card.” She swallowed.

“No.” He blinked. “I didn’t suppose it would be.”

She saw the glow in his eyes dim a little, the hopeful optimism lighting his features wither. And that hurt her heart.

“It’s just a card.”

“What exactly is the meaning?”

“It speaks of cowardice, rumor, possible betrayal… It’s a card of warning.”

“Been there, done that. Are you going to betray me, Susana?”

“I don’t know.”

“At least you’re honest.”

He squeezed her hand gently. Looked at her with eyes soft and brown in the shifting candlelight.

“I don’t know what the future holds, Joe.”

“So you’re a fake?” He said it warmly, tilting his head to one side. It occurred to her that he wanted her to be a fake. Didn’t mind if she was ordinary. And at that moment she wished she were.

“No, I’m not a fake. My powers are real, but they are limited. I can see possibilities, potential problems, but I can never predict a clear outcome.”

“Do you tell your clients that?”

“Sometimes.”

“You didn’t tell me that ten years ago. You spoke with such assurance.”

“I was young. I’ve learned a lot since then. Learned to use my readings to guide people into making their own decisions.”

“Like a psychologist, helping them figure out their lives?”

“Yes.” She held his hand firm. “You understand. That’s exactly how I see my work.”

Her relatives laughed at her grand ideas about helping people. They were happy to pocket the money and send the punters on their way with a smile on their face. A dose of hope and a fistful of questions to keep them coming back. But that wasn’t satisfying to her.

“You’re helping me right now.” One side of Joe’s mouth lifted into the beginnings of a smile.

“Oh?”

“The past and future may be a bit cockeyed, but I’m enjoying the present very much.”

His throaty voice roamed though the air, rich with suggestion as his eyes drifted slowly down over her neck, her breasts and belly, to her thighs.

He released his grip on her hand and let one finger trail over the inside of her wrist, over her palm. She shuddered at the sensation. “Perhaps I should read your future.” He glanced up, his eyes black again, shimmering with intrigue. “I see you trying something new…something different. Something a little risky. And a lot pleasurable.”

As he spoke his fingertip traced a circle over her palm. Then he lifted her hand and covered her palm with his hot, wet mouth. Licked along her heart line, along her life line, along the line representing the head she was in grave danger of losing.

“You’re a virgin, aren’t you?” He lifted an eyebrow and looked at her.

“Yes,” she admitted quietly.

“And do you wish to remain one?” He spoke formally, as if interviewing her. But his voice emerged low, husky and seductive.

“I don’t know.” She shifted again, heat and wet uncomfortable between her legs. She craved this man. Craved everything about him. His big hard body, his handsome scarred face, his pain-filled eyes. She kept her gaze fixed on the blue ink scrawled over his torso, avoiding the obvious sign of his fierce arousal beneath it.

“You should stay a virgin.”

Even as he said it she knew he didn’t mean it. His hand skimmed along her arm, traced the curve of her armpit and slid down to glide along the underside of her bare breast. The sensation of fingertips on the sensitive skin made her suck in a breath.

“You’ve saved yourself until now. You should wait until the right man comes along.”

But what if you are the right man?

She didn’t say the question aloud, but he heard it anyway.

“I can’t offer you anything beyond a night of pleasure. I know I can offer you that.” His eyes narrowed. “Sexual pleasure is one area of life where I know I won’t disappoint. Where I won’t be disappointed. I guess that’s why it beckons me now, when there’s nothing else I can count on.”

She dropped her eyes to the hand caressing her breast, then back up to meet his steady gaze. “If you think I should wait, why are you still touching me? You’re breaking the rules.” Her voice emerged as a whisper, breathless with want. And with fear. Fear of her own aching need.

“It’s the beast inside me. The crazy, dangerous part that keeps me awake at nights when everyone else is sleeping. The beast wants you.”

“And the honorable man?”

“He wants you, too.”

He cupped her breast and lifted it slightly. Lowered his lips and kissed her nipple. Then gently let go and withdrew his hand.

“But the honorable man can rein himself in, tug the beast back and shove him in his cage.” Candlelight flashed in his eyes as he lifted his head. “If that’s what you want.”

“Why do you want me?”

“Because you’re a beautiful girl.”

“Is it that simple?”

“There’s nothing simple about it. It’s why we’re here. The future of humanity depends upon a man wanting a woman.”

“Or a woman wanting a man.”

She wasn’t a girl any more. She’d become a woman, ready to claim the pleasures of a woman.

She let her eyes drift down to explore the man she wanted. His body still hard, rigid and humming with barely contained aggression—but now desire drove him, not anger. His muscles steady and unmoving as she roved over his tan skin with her mind.

She didn’t read auras, not even as an amateur, but she could feel the halo of warm color around him, feel the pull as every cell in his body murmured, come to me, take me, hold me.

Love me.

Even just for one night.

“I don’t have protection,” she whispered, afraid to hear her voice in the still night air.

“Don’t worry, I have some.”

He climbed off the bed and found his jeans where they lay crumpled on the floor. He fished in a pocket and pulled out a blue packet. Still rock hard, he climbed back on the bed and held it out to her.

She took the packet. Small and square, covered with tiny print.

“Why did you buy this when we’d agreed you wouldn’t touch me?”

“Men are hopeful creatures.” His lips curved in a shy smile.

Susana fingered the packet. He knew she was a virgin. He offered her nothing beyond tonight. He planned to take her innocence and disappear over the horizon.

At least you’re honest.

There were no lies between them. No false promises.

“I don’t know how to put it on.”

He held out his hand and she placed the packet in it. He ripped it open. She caught her breath and held it, biting her lip hard.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded.

She wasn’t sure of anything at all except that she wanted Joe inside her. Wanted to feel him filling up the empty spaces she’d carried around for so long. Wanted to take that first big step on the road to building her own life.

And if she woke up without her powers, so be it.

He sheathed the impressive length of his erection and tossed the packet aside.

“Let me make sure you’re ready.” His voice was throaty with barely controlled passion. He pushed her gently back until she lay on the bed, skin glowing gold in the reflected candlelight.

Joe crawled over her, on all fours, like a hungry predator ready to claim her. The musky male scent of him filled her nostrils.

She reached up and touched his face with her hand as he brought a probing finger between her legs.

“You’re ready, all right.”

She could feel her own slickness, her muscles throbbing and aching with the urge to have him moving inside her.

He leaned forward to kiss her face, his rough cheek brushing against hers, a hint of the raw maleness ready to fill her.

“I’m glad you finished the reading,” he murmured, his lips hotly moving over her ear. “Forewarned is forearmed.”

She could feel his smile against her cheek as the tip of his penis danced over her sensitive flesh. She heard a little moan escape her lips.

“I won’t betray you,” she whispered. No matter what else, she could promise him that.

“You won’t lie to me?”

“Never.” Her words were almost lost in the heat of his mouth as it claimed hers. He licked her lips, then pulled back just one almost unbearable inch.

She rocked her hips into him, begging him to enter, to bury himself in her.

“Tomorrow you can do a new reading for me and see if my fate has changed.” His low voice barely penetrated the thick fog of arousal clouding her mind. “Will you?”

“Umm…” words danced just outside her consciousness. She didn’t want to think about tomorrow.

But she’d promised not to lie to him.

“I may not be able to,” she breathed.

“Why?” he whispered, his smile pressing against her cheek.

At least you’re honest.

“Because I may lose my powers along with my virginity.”

“What?” He tugged back, and cool night air assaulted her cheek where his lips had breathed so hotly just a second ago.

She moaned and writhed against him. She didn’t want to think about her powers, or anything else but Joe’s big body moving inside hers.

She groped for words to answer him. “That’s what usually happens.”

Goose bumps rose over her skin as he pulled further away from her. Eyes still closed, she groped the air with her hands, reaching for him.

“Susana, you can’t be serious…” The grave tone of his voice tugged her eyes open. “You can’t… I can’t…”

“Please.” The pleading sound of her own voice echoed the pulsing throb of desperate need still pounding through her body. Twenty-three years of longing, pent up and ready to break free.

“I can’t, Susana. I can’t take that from you. I have nothing to offer you.”

He leaped off the bed and strode to the far wall. She could make out the lines of his body in the dim shadows cast by the single candle.

“I don’t care about my powers. I’ve been a prisoner of them my whole life.” She sat up on the bed. “I want to be free.”

“I can’t do it.” He turned to her. Shadows hid his face. “I can’t take responsibility for you losing your gift. You told me to keep my hands off you. You wanted me to keep my distance, and I didn’t.”

“That was my decision, too.”

“No. I led you to it. You’re aroused. You’re not thinking straight.”

She shook her head, hair flying, confused thoughts tumbling around in her mind. “I want you, Joe.”

“And I want you, too, Susana. But not at such a high cost.”

“But the cost is to me, not you.”

“I know. And you’re young. You’ll live to regret it. And I won’t take the blame, not any more.”

He strode across the room and snatched his jeans off the floor, tugging them on roughly. “You should have told me, Susana.”

“I did tell you.” She swallowed, tears welling up in her throat and under her eyelids. “I did tell you, and I wish I hadn’t.”

“Don’t cry.” His balled up T-shirt gathered in one hand, he sat on the bed.

“Why not?” Her words emerged as a sob. “Why won’t anyone let me make my own decisions about my life?”

“Come here.” He eased toward her on the bed and wrapped his arms around her. Her tears wet the skin of his shoulder as she buried her face in it. “If you really want to…make love, we’ll do it. But I want it to be a decision you make in the cold light of day.”

She looked up at him, vision blurred with tears. A broad thumb stroked the wetness from her cheek.

“If you think about it, truly think about it, and you still want to… Come find me tomorrow evening. I’ll write down the address of my new apartment. If you don’t come, I’ll understand that too.”

She couldn’t find any words to reply so she simply nodded, tears dripping onto her bare breasts, as he rose off the bed, picked up his shoes and left.

As the door closed behind him she swiped at her tears with a shaking hand. She was tired of people telling her what to do. She’d done everything Granna said for twenty-three years. It was time to take charge of her own life.

She climbed off the bed, blew out the candle and propped her elbows on the windowsill. She waited for him to write his note, let himself out of the apartment and descend the stairs.

Then she watched as he emerged from the building, strode diagonally across the street and took off up the sidewalk as if the hounds of hell snapped at his heels.