Blind Faith

chapter 5


After the disastrous meeting with Nathan, a luncheon with the senator, and three more meetings with special interest groups, Audrey wanted to head home for a hot bath and a stiff drink. The drive home took longer than usual because of traffic, and she finally sighed in relief when she walked into her quiet apartment in Virginia, rain dripping from her coat and umbrella.

She’d been unable to spot the men tailing her, but she felt their presence. These two or three were so much better than the last couple at disguising themselves. When would they make a move against her?

The door closed silently behind her, and she jumped. Turning, she took in the man lounging against the heavy oak. The scent of wild male filled her feminine apartment. “You have a death wish,” she muttered.

Nathan lifted an eyebrow, muscled arms crossed. “You going to kill me?”

The man had no clue how tempting the thought suddenly became. “No, but I’m being watched, and maybe they’re waiting for you to show up.” She slipped her arms out of her coat. Lying to him kept her on full alert, while the guilt of doing so leavened her limbs.

“I saw the two men watching you,” Nate said, rolling his eyes.

“Lucky you.” Darn it. She’d been unable to spot them. “Get out of town, and I promise I’ll find out what I can about the kill chips.”

His eyes darkened to a dangerous gray. He’d ditched the contacts. “Your promise doesn’t mean much to me.”

Hurt chilled her throughout, partially because he was spot on. “I’m sure that’s true.” Lying to him about her plan with the senator was a mistake, but even so, she threw down the gauntlet. “But you don’t have a choice.”

“Don’t I?” he asked, his voice lowering to a softness that was all the more deadly for the low tenor.

She shivered, and not from fear. The tone he used… she’d known it well. Southern promises and heated nights. Her nipples sprang alive, and her sex softened. “I’m telling you, the commander has people watching me.”

“I know.”

Was he crazy? “You won’t be able to hide from them for long.” Sure, he was trained, but so were the men watching her.

“Sure I will. Especially with this cover as Jason McGovern from the technology firm you’re working with.” His gaze warmed as it traveled from her feet to her face. “In fact, we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.”

“No, we won’t.” Panic awakened inside her on the heels of raw desire. “They might be waiting for you to show up, and I’m bait.”

“Why would you be bait?” he asked, no expression crossing his chiseled face.

Not because he still loved her, obviously. Pain cut into her, and she rubbed her stomach. “I’m your way in, and you know it. They know it. We all know it.” She shook out her umbrella. “Now get out of my apartment.”

“No.” Curiosity glinted in his eyes.

Her hold tightened on the wood as she lifted the umbrella. “Don’t push me, Nate.”

His arms dropped to his sides. “Or what?” he drawled, male cockiness in full force.

She swung. God help her, she knew better, but she did it anyway. With all her strength, with all the emotion she was tamping down, she swung the umbrella full force at his face.

He caught it easily in one hand, pivoting and trapping her against the door. Over two hundred pounds of hard muscled male pinned her in place.

She’d forgotten how quickly he could move. Her breath panted out while her knees weakened.

He stared down at her, fury glinting in his eyes, a vein standing out along his neck. “What did I teach you?” he ground out.

She blinked. “What?”

“Self-defense. What’s your first lesson?” Anger rode every word.

The door cooled her back while the warm male vibrating with temper heated her front. “Um, to aim for the neck or eyes?” What was his point?

“Exactly.” He stepped into her, still glaring. “Swinging an umbrella at a guy like me? Never let temper put you in more danger.”

Her mind swam. He was angry because she hadn’t really tried to harm him? She couldn’t deal with the confusion on top of everything else. “What do you want from me?”


“Answers.” He tossed the umbrella to the floor.

There was no way to physically kick him out. Her shoulders slumped along with her spirit. “Fine. Do we have to talk here in the entryway?” she asked.

“No.” He stepped back to allow her to hang her coat in the closet by the door. “I put noodles on.”

She stilled. He cooked dinner? Almost in a dream, she followed him through the small apartment and into the kitchen.

“Sit.” He gestured toward the petite mahogany circular table that had come with the apartment and then turned toward a pot sitting on the stovetop.

Her leg cramped, but she walked without a hitch to take one of the chairs, her mind fuzzing. Somehow Nate had found matching aqua placemats, ivory napkins, and pasta bowls. “I think I’ve entered the Twilight Zone,” she muttered, unfolding her napkin.

Nate grinned, skirting the kitchen bar to dump aromatic pasta on her plate.

The smile warmed her heart and spread to unfurl desire in her abdomen. She shook her head to focus. “I didn’t have fresh tomatoes and garlic.” Or Parmesan cheese, for that matter.

“I hit the store first.” He served pasta into his bowl before reaching for a bottle of wine breathing on the counter. “Shiraz, if I remember right.” The light hit the dark red liquid as he filled two wineglasses.

“You remember right,” she murmured, trying to find some sort of balance. The one man she’d ever loved, the only man she’d ever slept with, the one whose heart she had broken… had cooked her dinner. What in the holy heck was going on?

He sat and glanced at the tidy and quaint kitchen. “Your place doesn’t reflect you much.”

She looked around at sterile silver appliances and faded birch cabinets. No personal touches had been placed anywhere in the apartment, much less in the kitchen. “The apartment was furnished when I rented it, and I haven’t had time to nest.” In fact, she needed to be able to move in minutes if necessary.

He nodded and took a swallow of the wine. “I found your ‘go bag’ hidden behind the false cabinet in the bathroom.”

Her hand stilled in reaching for the wineglass. “Nosy, aren’t you?”

He took another drink of the wine. “Who are you planning to run from?”

She wrapped her fingers around the delicate stem. “You.”

He didn’t move, but tension instantly spiraled around them. “Don’t lie to me, Audrey.”

“Or what?” she asked, taking a sip of the potent wine, her breath speeding up.

He leaned toward her. “Do you really want to know?”

Hell, no. The scent of wild male, all Nathan, slammed into her, sending her system into overdrive. How could he be so sexy after all this time? Even with the new edge of danger riding him hard, he all but promised rough sex that would be worth it. “I’m not afraid of you, Nate.” She took a bigger swallow, her stomach heating instantly from both the man and the drink.

His smile lacked humor. “Another lie. Knock it off.”

Enough of this. She slid the wineglass to the side and leaned toward him, meeting his dark gaze. “Or. What?”

His gaze dropped to her lips. “I’d forgotten that about you,” he mused, almost to himself.

“What?” she asked, her voice thickening.

His chin lifted, and he captured her gaze. “How you liked to push me to lose control.”

There had been a time she would’ve loved to take his control. To prove she was special—the only woman to get past his training and the rigid rules he set for himself. “But you never did, did you?”

“No.” He sat back. “I’m not lost and lovesick anymore. Believe me, after everything that has happened, you want me in control.”

But did she? Nathan out of control, just for her? The imminent broken heart might be worth the pain. She twirled perfectly cooked angel hair pasta around her fork and took a bite, nearly humming at the explosion of flavors. She swallowed. “This is delicious. While I appreciate dinner, you need to leave afterward.” Before the men watching her discovered him.

He smiled.

Her heart dropped.

Sampling his dinner, he swallowed before speaking. “I haven’t been clear. This is what is going to happen. First, you’re going to answer all of my questions, and then we’re going to come up with a plausible plan for you to get me into the commander’s base outside of DC. Finally, you’re leaving town.”

“No.” She ate more of the pasta, wondering how far Nate would go. “I’ll get the information for you, but the commander is probably waiting for you, and I can’t leave DC yet.”

“Why not?”

She shrugged. “I have business.”

“Committing fraud to fund the commander and your mother?” Nate tossed his napkin down.

“Yes.”

His gaze narrowed. The seconds ticked by, and Audrey struggled to remain still and unaffected as he studied her. She ate slowly, no longer tasting the delicious meal.

Finally, he cocked his head to the side. “You just lied.”

“No, I didn’t.” Although her one little word skirted the truth, didn’t it? “You’ve lost your touch.”

“Think so?” he whispered, pushing back from the table.

Intrigue skittered down her back. “Yes.” She placed her napkin over the nearly empty bowl.

“Interesting.” For such a large man, Nate moved with surprising grace around the table, where he dropped to his haunches and reached for the zipper on her boot. “I didn’t get a chance to study your leg when it was around my hip in the hotel room. Let’s take a moment here.”

“No.” The word exploded from her, and she tried to scoot back in the chair. “Let go.”

His grip remained strong and sure. “I want to see the damage I caused.” While the words remained steady, his eyes swirled with a fatalistic regret.

“You didn’t know I was at the compound when you detonated the explosives,” she said softly, placing her hand over his and leaning toward him. He’d changed, and not just physically. The old Nate was full of fun and hope for the future. This one? Raw determination with no hope. The reality of that hurt something deep inside her.

She’d sacrificed for him to find a life, and how dare he give up? “We’ll find the codes to save you.”

He lifted a shoulder. “I promised my brothers I’d get the code to save them, and I will.”

The words he left out said a lot more than the ones he’d used. She held him tighter. “What about you?”

His gaze fastened on their hands. “Let me see, Audrey.”

“That wasn’t an answer.” She lifted his chin with her free hand, stubble scratching her palm. “You’re not a coward. Stop acting like giving up is okay—I demand more from you than that.”

“That’s all you’re getting.” He jerked his head to the side as if her touch burned him.

Hurt and anger shoved her back in the chair. “Fine. You want answers? Ask the questions, but let my f*cking leg go.”

One dark eyebrow rose. “You’ve got quite the mouth on you now, don’t you?”

“You have no idea.” She needed space. On his haunches, he met her gaze evenly while trapping her in place. Her nipples peaked in interest. “Let’s go into the living room.”

“No.” He remained in place. “Tell you what. I’ll ask questions, and if you tell the truth, I won’t move. If you lie to me again, I’m going to remove an article of your clothing, starting with this boot.”


Alarm and fury threatened to choke her, so she forced a sarcastic smile. “I didn’t know you were into sex games, soldier.”

His smile beat hers in sarcasm, hands down. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me. Wanna learn?”

Man, she’d love to meet his bluff. Except, Nate didn’t bluff. “If I scream, those men watching me will come running.”

“You try to scream, and I’ll be on you before one sound escapes.” A tension of a different sort cascaded from him, all but dampening her panties. Sexual need filled the tiny apartment, leavening the very oxygen.

What in the world was wrong with her? “You’re an ass.”

“I’m glad we understand each other.” He reached for the zipper of her leather boot. “Question number one. Where’s the commander’s new base?”

“Thirty miles outside of Dillwyn.” Her free foot twitched with the need to kick him in the face.

“Kick me, and we’ll do this naked,” he said, eyes knowing. One of his gifts was to see beneath the surface, and by the darkening of those eyes, he saw exactly what he did to her.

Desire slammed into her abdomen. How did he do that? Her body remembered him well even though it had been five years since he’d taken her to unbelievable heights. A primal part of her wanted to jump right back into the fire with him. Desire feathered along her skin, raising goose bumps. “Threatening me is no way to gain my cooperation,” she muttered.

“How well manned is the facility?” Nate asked, a flush crossing his cheekbones.

Yeah. Their closeness affected him as well. But while she tried to hide her reaction, he allowed his free rein.

He smiled, but it wasn’t his usual cocky smirk. It was a baring of teeth. Primal and honest. Nate wanted her.

She paused, trying to focus on the question and not the desire uncoiling in her body. “Same as the place in Tennessee, I think. There’s an infirmary, several labs, weapon caches, and offices.”

“Any new trainees?” Nate’s jaw hardened visibly.

“No.” Audrey shook her head, trying to draw in fresh air. “Only adults, and I don’t know how many are the commander’s soldiers and how many are with the U.S. military. If any.”

“Are you due there any time soon?” His finger slipped beneath the boot, caressing her bare skin.

“No,” she whispered, her body rioting. Heat flared up from her chest, scalding her throat.

His eyes darkened, and he unzipped the boot. “A lie.” With a sharp tug, he removed it to toss onto the ground. Amusement quirked his lip. “I like your sock.”

Heat spun into her cheeks at the striped purple and green sock. “I need to do laundry.” The boot had covered the fuzzy sock, and she hadn’t figured anybody would see it.

“All right.” His thick hand banded around her other calf as he eyed the zipper. “When are you due back at the commander’s DC facility?”

His touch sent tingles up her leg right to her sex. She had to get away before she started shedding her clothing and jumped him. An ache pounded in her core, and she fought the urge to rub her thighs together. This should not be turning her on. “I’m due at the DC facility the day after tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“For a checkup regarding my last surgery.” She tried to tug her foot free, and he held tight. He always did have an unbreakable hold. Flutters cascaded down her back.

His gaze lifted to meet hers. “How many surgeries have there been?”

She frowned, thinking back. “Five on my leg and three internally to repair fallopian tubes and one ovary. I lost the other one.” Why lie? She cleared her throat. “Where have you been for five years?”

“No.” He glanced at her exposed knees and cleared his throat. “I ask the questions.”

“You want answers? You provide them, too.” If he insisted on interrogating her, she deserved to have her curiosity appeased.

He rubbed his whiskers. “I’ve been all over, undercover, trying to take on the commander and get the kill chips. Can you have kids now?” His gaze remained down.

“Yes.” She probably wouldn’t get the chance to have kids, though. The idea that she’d once almost had his kid made her heart ache, and deep down she wondered at another chance with Nate. She didn’t want hope with him—not again. Talk about impossible. “Well, I probably can have kids.”

“I’m glad for you.” His shoulders lowered, his gaze shuttering. “Who is the senator going to recommend funding this year? What military group?”

Her stomach undulated. When Nate shut her out like that, the entire world turned cold. But she couldn’t tell him the truth, and he’d sense a half-truth. “I don’t know.”

Her zipper released in record time, and the second boot flew across the room.

“Hey! That wasn’t a lie, damn it.” She kicked out with the now revealed fuzzy pink sock.

“A refusal is the same as a lie.” A frown settled between his brows, and he sat back, his gaze gentling. “Your socks don’t match, Audrey.” Bemusement and a softness coated his strong voice.

She hunched her shoulders. “I really need to do some laundry, like I said.”

His grin reminded her of the younger Nathan as he ran a warm palm up the calf of her injured leg, caressing each scar, dimple, and pin. “How many breaks in your leg?”

The question caught her off guard. “Just four,” she said. The sensation of his hand on her after so much time sent butterflies winging to life below her abdomen. While she wanted to pull away, memories of his touch scalded her body into electric need.

He massaged her leg, and she fought a low groan. “Stop.”

“Am I hurting you?” he asked, decreasing the pressure, watching her closely, his gaze predatory and intent. Sexy as sin and twice as dangerous.

“No,” she breathed out. But her muscles were quickly turning to mush, and she needed to be on high alert with him. Nate had changed, and he probably wasn’t above using seduction to get what he wanted. Feminine need built inside her, and she took a deep breath to regain control. “How are your brothers?”

His fingers flexed in warning below her knee. “Off-limits.”

Yeah, that hurt. “Fine. Then so is the senator.”

“No.” Nate removed the purple sock, his thumbs skimming her skin. “I like your toenails.”

She shivered and glanced down at the sparkling pink polish. “Give me back my sock.”

“No. How close have Nash and the commander become?” Nate asked, tucking his thumb into her remaining sock. Even while he remained gentle, his movements were controlling and dangerously sexual.

She’d often wondered about this side of him. Anger and need melded inside her, pooling at the apex of her thighs. “The commander doesn’t confide in me,” she whispered.

Her other sock flew across the room. “Knock it off, Nate.”

He ran his palms up her knees. “You’re misreading me if you think I won’t take all your clothes, Aud.”

The nickname. He used to whisper it in her ear, late at night, in stolen hours alone. Naked, panting, fully complete, he’d murmur in that low Southern drawl he usually masked.

She swallowed and fought the charm of sexy memories. “The commander hasn’t told me anything.”

“Yet you know something.”

She had to protect him from her plan. “Nate, I—”


A knock sounded on the door.

Nate jumped up, drawing a gun from the back of his waist. “You expecting anybody?”

“No.” She pushed out of her chair. Fear sizzled into her bloodstream. What would Nate do?

He cuffed her arm with strong fingers and led her through the apartment to the door, where he peered through the keyhole. Every muscle down his back visibly tightened, and his arms seemed to vibrate.

When he turned toward her, she involuntarily stepped back from the deadly rage glittering in his eyes. “What?” she asked.

Nate’s face hardened until no expression lived in the dangerous hollows and cut lines. “I’ll be in the other room. If you say a word about me, or if you try to leave with him, I’ll shoot him dead. I mean it.” Without another word, he released her, turned on his heel, and stalked into the lone bedroom.

Audrey took a deep breath, her lungs seizing. What in the world? One glance through the keyhole, and she stopped breathing completely. Oh. Her hand shook when she reached for the doorknob to open the door. Her biggest enemy and greatest fear stood before her in fatigues and combat boots. She disliked herself for lying to Nate, but she’d hate herself if she got him killed. Panic threatened to cut off her air even as she forced on a polite smile. She opened the door. “Good evening, Commander.”





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