“I’m sorry I haven’t been by in a while.” I catch a lone tear as it falls down my cheek. “I’ve been real busy with classes and getting myself settled here. Uncle Alex and Aunt Emma have been so amazing. I’ve even got my own place now and I’ve also managed to make some friends. You’d like them.”
I should feel like a complete idiot for having an entire conversation with myself but truthfully speaking I don’t. If this is the only way I have to talk to my parents then I will do it. I look at my mothers’ grave, silently reading her name out in my head. Marie Louise Morgan. “I met a boy Mom. He’s one of the most beautiful boys I’ve ever laid eyes on.” Describing Grayson as a boy is unfair. He’s not a boy by any means. He’s pure man. “He drives me crazy and makes my insides all loopy,” I laugh at my candid choice of words, knowing full well that I sound like a simple teenager with a crush.
Loopy? Really?
“But he told me we should stay away from each other and that kind of hurt my feelings. He’s nothing like Jake, but he still terrifies me all the same.” I shudder when I think about my ex-boyfriend and how stupid I was to stick around as long as I did. I guess at the time I didn’t believe I deserved better. I refuse to think about what happened the last time I saw him. I don’t want it to taint this visit with my parents. “Daddy, you’d like him. He’s the quarterback and from what I hear he’s pretty good. He’s also the smooth-talking ladies’ man that you warned me about when I was only two years old. But I can see he has a good heart and maybe that’s why I like him so much.”
I stare at my hands and fidget with my fingers. “I miss you both so much,” I choke out. “But I’m going to make you both proud, I swear it.”
A new resolve settles over me and it’s as much a promise to my parents as it is to me. I want to live my life as best I can because my parents may be gone but I’m still here and I’m not alone. Everybody has a past and I won’t allow mine to smear my future.
I stand up and dust the grass off my jeans. I kiss my hand and touch my mothers’ headstone and then my fathers. “I’ll see you soon. Promise I won’t stay away so long this time.”
I walk away looking up at the blue summer sky above me and allow the sun to warm my skin. For the first time since my mothers’ death I feel lighter, happier.
I hear muffled voices and I look over to see a young man with his arm over a smaller woman’s shoulders. They’re talking softly, both staring at a beautiful white marble headstone with an angel engraved on it. The woman’s small body is shaking and I realize she’s crying. The young man turns to the side and I almost trip over my own two feet when I recognize the face.
Grayson.
My feet remain stuck in place and I’m almost holding my breath in fear that I’ll attract attention to myself. I catch a glimpse of the woman’s face and recognize their striking resemblance. It can only be his mother. He’s rubbing her back and whispering in her ear, words of comfort I assume. I try to connect the Grayson I’ve met and heard stories about with the guy standing a few meters away from me, but I draw a complete blank. They’re two completely different people. I want to believe the one I’m looking at right now is the real one, the one comforting his grieving mother. I wonder idly who she’s grieving for but silence those thoughts quickly. I can’t care about Grayson.
I suddenly feel like an intruder. I will my feet to move, hoping that Grayson won’t see me. When I slide into the drivers’ seat of my Jeep, his back is still to me. He only turns his head in my direction when I drive away.
The drive back to campus is short and the entire time all I can think about is why Grayson and his mother were at the cemetery. Before I can dwell on it, I stroll across campus to meet Demi for lunch before our one and only class together. When I approach her just outside the coffee shop, I see a tall guy standing next to her. He’s not as tall as Grayson but still has quite a muscular frame. He has dirty blonde hair, mussed up in all sorts of directions, and he’s wearing khaki slacks with a blue polo shirt tucked into his pants. He looks like he could be a preachers’ son. Or the son of a Country Club owner.
“There you are,” Demi hails as I step up to her. “Huntley, this is Luke Bailey, he’s the guy in my Sociology class I was telling you about.”
He looks at me and I don’t miss the way his eyes assess my body uninvited. My skin crawls right away. He gives me the creeps. Something about him just doesn’t feel right.
“Hi Huntley, it’s nice to meet you.” He sticks his hand out and I shake it hesitantly. No need for me to be rude.
“Shall we go inside?” Demi asks, her eyes darting between Luke and I.
“Uh I have class so I can’t stay,” Luke replies. “But I was hoping I could get your number Huntley, maybe take you out sometime?”