“Well, even though we’ve not been together long at all, I do think about our future, and I’m not saying I want to rush into anything, but it is on my mind.”
I held my hands out, on cloud nine. “Show me!”
Taking a deep breath, he gave me the pad and turned away. He hated watching someone looking through his work. It was really personal to him, and I loved that he shared it with me.
I flipped the pad over, and the picture made my heart stop. It was me and him, probably about five years older than we were now, standing outside a beautiful wooden house, surrounded by a meadow.
“You said you wanted to live in the city in a posh apartment, but I couldn’t see it. I hope you don’t hate this,” he said.
God, he made me ache.
“Are you kidding? This is incredible.” It brought tears to my eyes. I loved him and our mapped out future so much I thought I might burst. How could he think I would freak out? This was perfect. I was fairly certain that unless he cheated or killed someone, he was with the one I wanted to spend my life with.
There was no way anything could be as beautiful or peaceful in the city. Everything changed as I stared at a drawing of us, arms around each other, happy as a person could be surrounded by nature. I wanted that. I wanted to live a life with Noah where we’d have more time to enjoy things, rather than rushing around a busy city, taking hours to get anywhere and bumping into people every second. I wanted our house to be surrounded by land we could enjoy and fresh air.
“I want this, too, Noah. I have even less idea of what I’d do if we lived in the country like this, but I want it more than a built up city. I don’t care if I don’t earn as much money.”
He finally looked up, and his smile melted me. “You have no idea how much I want it, too.”
“Well, it’s done,” I said, my voice thick with emotion. “After university we’ll move to the country and live the simple life. I want goats and those cute little micro pigs.”
Laughing, he sat beside me and stroked my jaw, stealing my breath again. His eyes were alight. I couldn’t stop staring at him. “You want a farm?”
“If I’m living in the country like this, I want animals.” I handed him back the pad and instructed him to add them in. He did it awkwardly with one arm around me. It would be much easier if he let me go, but he didn’t want to. Neither did I.
I spent the next hour watching him draw pictures of my animals. He laughed through it, even adding chicks, rabbits, a cow and a llama. I added a stick sheep with a bad woolly body. It was stupid fun and had us laughing, flirting and kissing the whole time.
At six we went downstairs to make the pizzas. Noah got the ingredients, and I got a wooden bowl and spoon. He didn’t bother measuring anything out, so I left him to put everything in, and I just stirred it until it was thick enough to knead.
Noah slapped the dough down on the worktop and smirked. “Go on, get kneading!”
It was gross, I hated when things stuck to my hands and it greatly amused him, but I was having fun cooking with him.
I pushed the dough down with the palm of my hand and froze.
Noah, sensing something was wrong, asked, “You okay?”
I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. “Yeah, just had a major sense of déjà vu.”
“Really? With what?”
“Kneading this with my palm. I’ve never done it before, so it must be when I attempted chocolate chip Christmas tree biscuits with Mum a few years ago.”
“Strange,” he said with a shrug. “Hey, perhaps you have done this before, you just don’t remember it.”
I looked down. “Noah, please.”
“No.” He lifted my chin and bent down to look right into my eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m not bringing it up again, and I don’t want to upset you.”
“No, I overreacted. You’re allowed to talk about it. Wow, I really am different, aren’t I?”
“Yes, you are.” Ouch. “You are completely different because there is no one else who is perfect to me and for me. Different is not a bad thing.”
He was still the same height as me, so I leaned forwards and kissed him. His arms quickly wound around my back, and I was pulled onto my tiptoes, flush with his chest. My hands were still gross and sticky from the dough, but that didn’t seem to worry him as I gripped his hair.
Noah pushed me against the worktop and ran his hands down my back. When I felt my insides burst into flames, I pulled back. I had the desire to be with him, but I wasn’t ready. Why couldn’t my body and mind be more in sync?
He kissed my forehead, breathing just a little too fast. “We should get the dough kneaded and rested soon or this pizza is going to be awful.”
I took a deep breath and tried to get my body under control. “Sounds good. I’m getting hungry.”