chapter Ten
ALTHOUGH COLIN AND I had endured a flight that would have tested the patience of Job, first-class made all the difference. Instead of arriving at Charles De Gaulle feeling bloated and tired, we actually both felt quite energized and it took very little effort for us to claim our luggage and navigate the airport to the SAS desk where we immediately booked tickets to Oslo.
They weren’t exactly cheap. Our flight wouldn’t leave for another four and a half hours and we paid almost four hundred euros per person for the tickets in Economy Extra, what ever that meant.
Colin and I immediately booked our luggage as the young woman at the desk who issued our tickets didn’t mind taking it at all and walked through Charles De Gaulle until we found a food court where we could sit down and have a decent meal.
It was quite strange because neither one of us had had much sleep on the flight over. We had spent so much time talking about our childhoods, past relationships and university that we had each maybe gotten a few hours of sleep, tops. It was starting to take its toll but I opted for a large café au lait—which, ironically, was the size of a tall at Starbucks in the States—and a ham and cheese baguette.
Colin, as usual, bought a round of Guinness and grabbed a baguette with ham and goat cheese as opposed to my ham and Brie. I tried to turn down my Guinness but after devouring my sandwich and polishing off my coffee, I still drank my ale.
“You see, I told you I would turn you into an ale drinker after all,” he bragged as we sat in an airport café.
I couldn’t help but laugh yet again and realized the muscles in my face hurt from smiling and laughing so much. Everything with Colin was so damned easy and why was it a wry smile from him could turn my insides to mush? Hell, why had we just blown almost one thousand euros we hadn’t planned to spend on tickets to see his grandparents?
I know it was silly and I should have really taken the lead and acted like the grown up but part of me loved the idea one day this man might be my husband. He had a great personality, he was easy on the eyes and he was everything women claimed they wanted all the while lusting after sadistic alpha males who rarely gave a damn.
He was a dream man and he could imagine spending the rest of his life with me because he decided I was what he wanted. Damn, that felt good. Of course when he grabbed my left hand and held it in his right, it felt even better.
Colin’s palms were soft and dry. I wanted to hold his hand as much as he wanted to hold mine and for some reason, we both clutched each other at the same time and it felt right.
“Did you really tell your grandparents’ you hoped to marry me one day?” I wondered in a serious tone. “I mean, you wouldn’t play with me like that, would you?”
“What do you mean?” he questioned back as he stared into my eyes with gorgeous blue irises. “You know that isn’t me. What would I get out of playing you for a fool? I’m almost thirty years old, Deirdre. We aren’t twenty-two year old college kids with the rest of our lives ahead of us. If we don’t know what we want out of life by now then we are seriously screwed.”
“Yeah, I know and I didn’t think you were kidding around but I had to ask. I mean, I have loved Drew for so long and he is the man who has been my rock, my salvation but…he isn’t meant for me. I know there is a woman out there for him but she isn’t me—you know what I mean?”
“Yeah, a little bit too well.” He bit his lip and played with my fingers. “There was a woman at university. Let’s call her ‘Carrie’ because I don’t want her to be hurt when I invite her to our wedding and you regale her with stories I have told you about her. We were very compatible and she was a lovely human being. We were…perfect.
“However, something wasn’t right and there was something in our relationship that was missing. I couldn’t put my finger on it and neither could she. Everything about us was just so damned…perfect. Our parents’ thought we were tailor made for one another and we never had a disagreement. I suppose you could say our sex life was satisfactory though it wasn’t anything spectacular.”
He paused and swigged from his Guinness before he continued. “Everyone just knew we would graduate and marry but I wasn’t so sure and to be honest, I loved her but I wasn’t in love with her. So, I did what I thought was the best way to sever our relationship for good. I cheated on her with one of her casual friends and made sure she walked in on it.
“The whole situation devastated her. She couldn’t believe what I had done because we were just so perfect and how could I ruin the best thing that would ever happen to me? The problem was I didn’t think she was the best I could do because I felt stifled in every way by what we had. I wasn’t free and happy, I just felt trapped and what kind of bastard would I be to marry her, convince her I was happy and still fail her in the end?”
I laughed out loud. “You were the best kind of bastard because at least you didn’t marry her and leave her in the end with a couple of kids and a bad marriage behind both of you. I think a lot of what we do is so we can maintain a certain image in life. I’ve never wanted to be one of those people who is just in a relationship because it’s better than being alone. Being on your own is definitely underrated especially if you aren’t happy in your partnership.”
“Well, I think we can both agree on that one.” He fell silent for a moment before he stared at me again. “Why have you been alone so long? Is it because you didn’t think you would find someone as great as Drew or was it a more of a selfish motivation? Perhaps you thought you would come to your senses and decide he’s the best you could do?”
“No, it was nothing like that. To be honest, I just didn’t feel like dating. Not after we broke up. I didn’t want to deal with the headache or the aggravation and then we came to our deal of doing the ‘friends with benefits’ thing and it worked for a long time. Then my dad died and dating wasn’t even on the radar at that point. I mean, I realized if I had someone…a boyfriend that is…at least I could share how I was feeling but then I thought the sex part would get in the way. I haven’t truly felt sexual in a long time. I blamed the anti-depressants and your father switched me from Zoloft to Wellbutrin and I noticed a difference but only slightly.
“Anyway, about a month ago, we re-evaluated my need for anti-depressants and he’s taken me off everything except Xanax for the panic attacks but that isn’t an anti-depressant, it merely treats anxiety. I have been feeling okay and I really think I’m ready to take the next steps to form a happy relationship but you are so freaking me out on this marriage thing. I don’t know…how do you know I’m the one? We barely know one another and yet…I don’t feel like you’re this strange guy. You seem like a sweet and considerate gentleman—just what the doctor ordered.”
“You don’t need me to go all alpha male on you?” Colin teased with a twinkle in his crystal blue eyes.
I smirked. “I’d rather you not. Alpha males are great in romance novels but at this point in my life, I think I prefer a man who will treat me as his equal yet not be afraid to call the shots in the bedroom. Does that make sense?”
He leaned towards me. “That is certainly doable and the way you describe that, you make it sound sexy as hell.”
We both laughed again and continued to hold hands. For some reason, it felt right and I always went with my gut instinct. It had never steered me wrong before.
THE FLIGHT TO Oslo wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be sitting in the upgraded economy section. The plane was almost full but Colin and I still managed to get great seats. I sat next to the window and he sat beside me. We usually maintained some form of body contact since he was very warm and I was freezing. I hadn’t really planned my wardrobe that well because I’d assumed we would have been in the south of France before I knew it but I still could have used a nice wool sweater. The weather was barely manageable in a pair of blue jeans and a long sleeved tee-shirt.
We arrived late evening and we quickly navigated ourselves outside where we picked up a taxi and took it to Colin’s grandparents’ house. I loved the place already. Though it was a suburb, there were trees everywhere and the snow had melted although the temps were still cold. We arrived to a high of forty degrees that night and the day temps weren’t much better, usually a high of fifty degrees according to the usual pattern of weather in late May.
Colin’s grandparents lived out on property which stood right beside a lake in a very dense and woodsy area. Their cottage, beautifully re-stored and built in a log cabin design, was large and roomy from the outside. Inside, it was more beautiful. There was an open layout which consisted of a sitting room, study, large modern kitchen and dining room downstairs which also had a half-bath for guests with a toilet and a sink.
Upstairs, there were three large, well kept bedrooms. The place was amazing and the furniture suited the rustic look of the house. The place, overflowed with a sense of love, warmth and photographs. There were photos of Colin’s dad, my therapist, plastered throughout the house, along with photos of Liam and Colin.
Colin introduced me to them using Dutch before they said a few words to him and switched to English.
“It’s very nice to meet you,” his grandmother greeted warmly. “I am Laurina, and you are free to call me that. There aren’t many formalities in this house.”
She didn’t seem like the grandmotherly type at all with her voluptuous though slender figure, blonde bobbed hair and pale blue eyes. In fact, she seemed like a slightly older version of Catherine Deneuve and equally well preserved.
His grandfather introduced himself last and he was equally as warm with his sandy brown hair flecked with gray, his grandson’s crystal blue eyes and charming demeanor.
“You are free to call me Kerstan, my Christian name, welcome to our family,” he greeted before he embraced me warmly.
“Thank you,” I responded to both of them. “Although I should tell you Colin and I haven’t been dating very long but it really is a pleasure to meet you both.”
“Well, dinner is on the table and I made a very popular Norwegian dish it has taken me ages to perfect so I hope you enjoy it,” Laurina explained as we walked toward the dining room together.
“You shouldn’t feel too bad. I have never been all that picky when it comes to food so it’s no problem, really.”
We all sat at the table with Laurina and Kerstan at the head of the table which obviously made sense to me. Ironically, Colin and I sat across from one another. It turned out Laurina had understated how much she’d cooked as there was a large lidded bowl on the table filled with a very popular local specialty, Seafood Bisque. There was a large carafe of water and also a bottle of aquavit.
“Well, before we dig into this delicious food, Colin, why don’t you pour everyone a helping of aquavit so we can toast? It’s bad luck in our family not to take a drink before dinner is served instead of afterwards,” Kerstan explained.
Colin stood and poured the aquavit in a quite skilled manner. I’d almost forgotten he’d been a bartender before I had persuaded him to quit and open up his own business. I would have so much fun helping him get it off the ground.
We all raised our glasses of aquavit as Laurina said, “Here is to a long life and the wonderful houseguests we have been blessed to have. Kerstan and I get lonely out here though our neighbors are wonderful. Unfortunately, we don’t see our grandchildren enough so we are grateful you two are here. Thank you and, Deirdre, welcome to Norway.”
I smiled back and whispered, “Thank you.”
“As we say here in Norway, skål!” Kerstan added in a cheerful voice.
“Proost!” Colin and Laurina replied before we all burst out laughing.
“Proost is cheers in Dutch,” Laurina explained to me as she began to serve the seafood bisque. “Sometimes I think my husband wishes we’d been born Norwegian or something. I know and speak enough of the language out there but I would rather speak Dutch here at home. We’re older, we’re not senile. Us speaking Dutch to one another isn’t going to make us forget Norwegian, not when everyone around us speaks it.”
“Oh goodness, do you two expect Deirdre and I to learn any Norwegian?” Colin questioned with resignation.
“Just enough to get by. You know how to drive a car and you’ll need to go into town. It won’t be so hard in Oslo as you will find people who are willing to use English but Norway isn’t the Netherlands. There, people love to use English if only to show off our former nation’s language skills. Most Dutch children grow up knowing at least four languages. Your father knows French and German besides Dutch and English. He also told us he was taking Mandarin classes. I suppose that comes in handy in Washington?”
Colin clicked his tongue as he poured himself another shot of aquavit. “There are a lot of foreigners in Washington State, Oma,” he explained in a halting voice. “I believe Dad thinks he can improve his practice if he learns Mandarin as many of the Chinese residents speak it and are more comfortable with their native language than English, even when their English is perfect.”
I began to eat my soup which was actually better than it smelled and I didn’t think that was possible.
“Did Colin tell you why we moved here to Norway?” Kerstan inquired out loud.
I looked up from my bowl and didn’t turn down the refill Colin offered as he refilled my glass of aquavit.
“Yes, he did,” I replied.
“Mmm, you must think we are terrible people?”
“No, I don’t,” I answered honestly. “There is nothing worse than not enjoying your life. It is so fleeting and I can only hope my father lived a fulfilling life before he died. I don’t judge people—it’s not really my style.”
“Yes, well, our particular area of the Netherlands had progressed over the years to a place we didn’t want to live,” Kerstan began in a soft voice. “After Nine Eleven…the terrorist attacks and the daily violence by the local youth, it just became too much. I couldn’t imagine us living our retirement years in those conditions.
“We looked around at several countries. For a while we were considering New Zealand but it seemed too far away and we wanted to be close enough so that our grandchildren would still bother to visit us. Norway seemed like the most logical choice. There is a very small but vibrant Dutch community here in the Oslo suburban area and we get together a few times per month. We speak Dutch, bring traditional dishes and talk about our country and how it was before…globalization.”
“Please don’t get us wrong, my dear. We are happy Colin brought you here and can only hope you enjoy yourself. We didn’t want you to think we were racists. It’s just…both Kerstan and I grew up in a very different era. When we married, it was a huge scandal because my family is Catholic and his is Protestant. That was a big deal back then. The Netherlands has a very long history of pillars and polarization. Everyone stayed within their own…Jews married Jews, Catholics married Catholics, and Protestants married Protestants.”
Laurina paused before she continued, “There has been a lot of change since the fifties and the sixties. I love that small beautiful country below sea level. Sometimes I wish we could just move back and deal with it but…what kind of life would that be for us? I suppose what I am trying to say is that you must live for yourself and although political correctness is wonderful in theory, it doesn’t quite gel with the harsh realities of life. We want our grandchildren to merely be as happy as we have managed to be over these years.”
“Well to me, that seems like a healthy attitude and with grandparents like you, I think Colin is very lucky indeed,” I said with a smile.
Dinner was a drawn out affair but both Laurina and Kerstan were so interesting to talk to, I was almost a bit sad to see it end.
Fatigue didn’t set in until Colin and I made our way up to the guest bedroom and we both undressed and readied ourselves for bed. I realized I was exhausted and the aquavit had definitely done its job.
Shortly after I changed into my pajamas, I crawled into bed and Colin did the same, opting to sleep in a pair of white boxers and matching wife-beater. We curled up underneath one another for warmth and I inhaled his manly scent.
“So, what do you think? I hope you don’t regret us making this decision to come see my grandparents.”
“What a silly question,” I responded as I looked into his amazing crystal blue eyes. “I’ve fallen in love with your grandparents. Maybe because they seem so real and don’t put on any airs. They are great people and I can’t wait to get to know them better.”
“I’m glad you approve.”
I kissed his lips quickly and murmured, “Good night.”
He seemed a bit taken aback but he repeated, “Good night.”
Before I could form another single coherent thought, I was asleep.