Sam was silent. “I think,” he said, “that’s exactly what love is.”
Sam’s words, and the fact that he was finally absolving me of everything while he held me tight, made something inside me snap. I didn’t even know it had happened until I felt the first tear roll down my right cheek, followed soon after by a single tear from the other eye. And then, they were coming like a deluge, one after another, tears falling from eyes that had been dry for a year.
“You’re crying,” Sam said, leaning back. He looked concerned. He reached in to gently wipe a tear away.
“I know,” I said. I reached up and touched my cheek. “I know.” And for the first time that day, I smiled.
We stood in the middle of the cemetery parking lot for a long time, under the glow of the flickering light, enveloped in a dark silence. But I’d never felt so safe in all my life. I didn’t want to move, didn’t want to go back to reality.
And then, my cell phone rang, a sharp jangle that invited reality back in.
The spell was broken. I looked at Sam as I pulled away. I looked at the caller ID. Mom’s Cell. I didn’t know why she’d be calling from her cell instead of the home phone, but I knew she was probably wondering where I was.
I snapped my phone open. “Hello?”
“Lacey?” Her voice sounded frantic. I felt immediately bad.
“Mom, don’t worry; I’m fine,” I said quickly. “Sam’s here with me, and—”
She cut me off. “It’s Logan. There’s been an accident. He’s at the hospital. I need you to come right away.”
chapter 22
We got to Plymouth Regional Hospital’s emergency room in record time. Sam dropped me off near the ambulance bay and promised to be inside as soon as he parked. I dashed inside and wildly scanned the waiting room for my family.
I spotted them immediately. Mom was standing in the corner, looking disheveled, and Tanner was sitting in a chair, his head down, mumbling to himself. Sydney was standing several yards away, her face tear-streaked.
“What happened? Is he okay?” I demanded, running up to them. All three of them looked up. “Please!” I snapped. “Is he okay? Tell me!”
“I don’t know,” Mom said. She appeared exhausted. “He’s in surgery now. The doctors will be out to talk to us as soon as he’s done.”
I stared at her. My whole body felt cold. Surgery. Doctors. An accident. It was all so familiar.
“What happened?” Just then, Sam came through the doors of the waiting room and jogged over to me. I introduced him to my mom, who nodded vaguely. I glanced down at Tanner and realized that he had reverted to sucking his thumb, something I hadn’t seen him do since those dark weeks after Dad died. “What happened, Mom?”
“Apparently, Logan was drinking,” she said in a tight voice. “With Sydney.” She glared at Sydney, who seemed to shrink under her gaze. “He took the keys to Sydney’s car,” Mom continued through gritted teeth, “and went out to drive around the neighborhood. To find the spot of your accident with Dad.”
I felt tears in my eyes.
“He didn’t come back for a while,” Sydney cut in, glancing nervously back and forth between me and my mom. “So finally, I got worried and took my dad’s car out to look for him. I found him on Old Port Road. You know, the one by the harbor that curves? I guess he took the turn too fast and hit a telephone pole.”
Mom made a muffled sound and turned away. I sucked in a deep breath. Tanner curled up on the seat and closed his eyes, sucking his thumb more furiously now. Sam wrapped both of his arms tightly around me and squeezed.
“The police were already there,” Sydney continued. “And the ambulances. They were just taking him away on a stretcher. That’s when I called your mom.”
“Did you see him?” I demanded. “As they were taking him away?”
I wanted to ask her if he had been conscious, if there had been blood, how he had looked. But she just shook her head. “They were already shutting the doors to the ambulance. I only knew it was him ’cause of the car. It’s totally ruined. My parents are going to kill me.”
In this moment, with my brother lying somewhere behind closed doors and possibly dying, she was worrying about her car? I wanted to wring her perky little neck with my bare hands. But Sam held on to me and murmured in my ear, “It’s not worth it.”
He was right. But I’d never hated someone quite as much as I hated Sydney right then.
An hour passed without any word. My mom paced for a while, then sat down, chewing so hard on her lower lip that it started to bleed. She didn’t even seem to notice. Tanner’s eyes glazed over as he continued rocking back and forth, sucking his thumb. Sydney sat several seats away from us, alternately staring at the wall and texting on her phone. The whole time Sam sat next to me, rubbing my back gently and occasionally whispering things like, “It’s going to be okay, Lacey.”