‘Yes, and look. I’m sorry. Perhaps I should have taken things a bit more seriously. I know how much you love France, and I suppose I do owe you, after sort of… I don’t know, promising things…’ He smiled and reached forward for her hand.
Her headache subsided as excitement began to build in her chest. Could it be that she and Ben were on the same wavelength after all? Maybe, despite what she’d done, it could all work out!
‘Oh,’ she said.
‘Yes, and look,’ he said, placing his tea on the bedside table and taking her hand in both of his. His eyes were excited in a way she hadn’t seen for years. ‘I have a suggestion.’
‘Yes?’ she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.
‘It’s about France,’ he said.
‘Oh, Ben!’
‘Because look, I know how much you want to go.’
‘I do, I really do.’
‘So, let’s do it!’
‘What? Are you serious?’ She flung her arms around him – only just keeping her tea balanced in its mug - and nestled her head onto his shoulder, her heart hammering with a kind of surreal excitement. This wasn’t really happening, was it?
‘Wait, you haven’t heard the best bit!’ he said, drawing back and smiling confidently. ‘I saw an offer in the Express last week. A weekend in Paris, first class Eurostar, three-star hotel, just ?199 per person if you collect all the tokens. It’s our anniversary coming up isn’t it. And what a bargain!’
‘Oh.’
‘France, here we come!’ he said, his eyes searching her face for the reciprocal excitement he seemed sure he was going to find.
‘Um. Yes.’
It was as if he’d taken the helium out of her balloon of happiness and filled it instead with shit. It plummeted messily to the ground.
But, right now – she reminded herself – the disappointment was the least of her concerns. ‘OK,’ she said, trying to smile as her brain raced at 100 miles an hour. She’d email eBay and say she’d made a mistake. Maybe say she had a toddler who’d clicked the button by accident. See if there was any legal wriggle room. See how committed she actually was.
She wasn’t giving up on France. But this was definitely not the way she’d wanted to do it.
Because the email she’d opened just now hadn’t been confirmation of a break, a receipt for money paid or information from a letting agent. Instead it had read:
Congratulations! You placed the winning bid for Stone Cottage with 3000 m2 garden and outbuilding for renovation.
She’d scrolled down, only half understanding, then stopped when she’d seen the text at the bottom.
You have committed to buying this property for the sum of €48,601. Please contact the seller to complete the transaction.
She’d only gone and bought a bloody house.
4
‘So, what’s the emergency?’ Emily said as Lily opened the door. She was dressed in what looked like pyjama bottoms, which protruded from underneath a long coat. Her wavy brown hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun. ‘I came as soon as I got your message.’
‘I can see that,’ Lily said, tucking her own sandy-blonde hair behind her ear and feeling rather guilty that she was showered and freshly washed. ‘I’m sorry if I made it seem… well, that urgent.’
‘Chrissakes, Lily! I thought I was going to have to rescue you from burglars, or, I don’t know, put out a house fire. You said, your message – I thought you were crying. But you seem fine!’ Emily said, stepping into the hall with an eye-roll.
‘I’ve calmed down.’
‘So nothing’s on fire?’
‘Nothing’s on fire.’
‘And I could have taken ten minutes to get dressed?’
‘You could have taken an hour. Sorry. I should have been a bit clearer on the phone.’ Lily grimaced apologetically.
‘So what on earth is this emergency? And what exactly do you need rescuing from?’ Emily said, giving her a quick peck on the cheek. ‘I thought I was meant to be the dramatic one!’
‘Shh, keep your voice down!’ Lily said, glancing furtively over her shoulder.
‘Why the shushing? I thought you said Ben was out?’
‘Yes, he’s out. It’s just, Ty’s still here. Asleep, I think, but you never know. And I’m just not… I don’t want anyone to know about this yet.’
‘Now I am intrigued. What on earth have you done, Lily Butterworth? Surely it can’t be that bad?’ Emily said, slipping off her coat, throwing it over the banister and revealing that she had indeed come out in chequered pyjama bottoms and a creased T-shirt that read ‘sweet dreams, sweetie pie’.
Lily grinned. ‘Nice outfit,’ she said. She placed a quick hand on her friend’s shoulder. ‘But thank you,’ she added. ‘I mean, you seriously came through for me.’
‘You mean I overdid it, as usual.’
‘Well, maybe. But it was my fault.’
They smiled at each other for a moment, then Emily shook her head. ‘You only get to cry wolf a couple of times, you know, before people don’t bother to turn up any more,’ she said.
‘I know.’
‘One more fake emergency, and that’ll be it. Wolves everywhere. No sheep left to be found.’
‘Oh, there’s still an emergency,’ Lily said, making a face. ‘Just not a “the call is coming from inside the house” type of emergency. More of… a well, I suppose you could call it a situation.’
‘A situation?’ Emily said, ears suddenly pricked. ‘Tell me more!’
‘Try not to sound too enthusiastic about it.’
‘Ooh, have you done something bad, Lily?’
‘It depends how you define bad, I suppose,’ she said, walking through into the living room where her laptop flickered on the sofa. She passed it to Emily silently and watched as her friend’s eyes quickly scanned the text of the email.
‘Bloody hell, Lily. Is this for real?’ Emily sank onto the sofa, her humour draining from her briefly.
‘Yep,’ Lily replied, sitting next to her. ‘Told you it was a situation.’
‘This is almost dashing-over-in-pyjamas worthy.’
‘I know.’
‘How much wine did you actually have?’
‘Well, almost a bottle, but that’s not the point.’
‘You know, most people get involved in a bit of harmless antisocial behaviour when they’re on the lash. Maybe get arrested or something. Or sleep with a stranger. Or, I don’t know, have a screaming row and throw their partner’s stuff out on the lawn,’ her friend told her, amusement turning up the corners of her mouth despite her serious expression.
‘Yep. All preferable to this, I’d say.’
‘Certainly cheaper.’
‘Yup.’
‘And who looks at properties on eBay anyway? Whenever I buy something on there, I forget to check the measurements and it ends up a complete disaster. But a house!’
‘I know.’
‘One you haven’t even seen?’
‘I know.’
‘In France?’
‘Shh! I know!’ Lily said. ‘What I don’t know is what on earth I’m going to do about it.’ Seeing Emily had cheered her up, as it usually did. But the anxiety she’d been flooded with this morning raced through her again as she looked at the text on the screen.
For once it had been a relief that Ben had booked up a game of tennis for Saturday morning. Usually she’d be disappointed they couldn’t spend a lazy morning together. But today she’d practically packed his sports bag for him.
‘Are you sure it’s OK?’ he’d said. ‘Sorry, I forgot to put it on the calendar. I mean, I don’t feel that great, so if you want me to change it…’
‘No, don’t be silly, it’ll do you good!’ she’d said, patting his back and ushering him to the front door. ‘Oh look, here are your keys!’
‘I’ll be half an hour early at this poin—’
‘Bye then!’ she’d trilled, shutting the front door before rushing to the phone to ring Emily.
‘Surely it’s not binding? I mean, clicking a button on eBay?’ Emily said now. ‘You could say your kid did it, or your dog or something. It must happen all the time.’
‘That’s what I hoped. I was going to get on to eBay and find out this morning. But then I got a message from the seller. An email.’
‘And?’
‘Well, it was all in French, so I had to run it through Google translate, but…’ she reached over and flicked up another web page.
TRANSLATION
Dear Mrs,
I am delighted very that you have purchased the good-looking house of stone near to a large body of water. I will speak to the lawyer and the paperwork he will become drawn up in very shortly time I truly believe very not slowly. And it is good news for you too! I am the mayor of the local town of Eymoutiers that which means I can make quicker the time for signing. There is still of course a legal process, but one that I can influence with my powers and help to make a more quickly speed. I wish to hear from you most quickly.
Many wonderful days, Frédérique de Breton.
It wasn’t the most accurate of translations, but it was pretty easy to get the gist.
‘Oh.’
‘Yes.’
‘He’s the mayor?’
‘Yep. And I looked him up. Did you know that in France the mayor is also the chief gendarme?’
‘The, what?’
‘Head of the local police.’