Honestly though, his heart didn’t stand a chance when he looked into his baby girl’s crystal blue eyes or even her momma’s caramel eyes. They were his world and they were enough. He had told Audrey this many times, but she couldn’t accept it. She wanted to give him more children, but unfortunately, they hadn’t been lucky with the whole conceiving thing after they lost the last baby she was pregnant with. He still could hear her cries and it truly killed him. Since then, he hadn’t been able to get her pregnant. She blamed herself, but sometimes, he felt as if it was his fault. He should be able to get a woman pregnant, and he had, twice, but they only had one blessing to show for it. Again, that was enough. He just wished Audrey would realize that.
Leaning back in his locker, he let out a long breath before running his fingers through his too long blond hair. He needed a haircut, but he wasn’t worried about it. On top of worrying about the mental state of his beautiful wife, the holidays were always hard on him. Christmas had always been his family’s favorite time of the year, and knowing they weren’t here to watch Penelope grow almost brought tears to his eyes.
He wished he could shake off all the bad thoughts; he shouldn’t be thinking them, not with Christmas so close, but he couldn’t help it. He missed his family and he wanted his wife to be happy. He just wished it would all go away. He didn’t want to be depressed on Christmas, not with how much it meant to Penelope.
“You’re quiet. You okay?” Lucas, his best friend and his wife’s brother-in-law, asked.
He nodded. “Just thinking. Holidays are hard.”
Lucas moved a towel through his hair before looking over at him. “Yeah,” he said with a nod. “How’s Audrey holding up? Fallon thinks she is lying out her ass half the damn time.”
“Yeah, she is,” he confirmed, letting out a long breath. “I don’t know what to do, honestly.”
“How’s the surrogate thingy going?” he asked, but Tate was already shaking his head.
“It isn’t. She can’t find someone she trusts. It’s insane; I mean, surely they’ll take care of the baby.”
“Yeah, I mean, it worked for Harper.”
“I told her this but she just doesn’t want to pick someone. So I said, let’s do the in vitro. I mean, we’ve already done the drugs and they’ve taken my sperm and her eggs. All they need is to go through with the procedure, but she is scared that it will be a waste of time because they say her uterus is weak. I’m telling you, she wants a baby so fucking bad. And sure, I would love another one, but I don’t want this stress. I just want us to be happy. We have a beautiful daughter. What else do we need?”
Lucas slowly nodded and Tate felt desperate. Lucas didn’t understand any of this. He was blessed with four gorgeous kids and a wife who wasn’t driving him crazy now that she wasn’t pregnant. Audrey was great pregnant, horny as hell and drove him mad with her need for him, so he wouldn’t mind doing nine months of that again. But above all, he just wanted her to have everything she wanted. “I just want her to be happy, and I’ll do anything to get her there.”
“I know, buddy. You’re really good to her.”
Lucas cupped his shoulder as Tate said, “Because I love her. More than anything, and no matter how many times I tell her that, she doesn’t listen.”
“She is hardheaded like her sister. It will work out.”
Tate didn’t think it would, but he nodded and agreed, “I hope so.”
After getting to the hotel later that night, he set his computer up and Skyped Audrey. Waiting for her to answer, he leaned back in his bed and grinned when his beautiful daughter’s face filled the screen. Her dusty brown hair was in curls down her shoulders, her eyes bright as she waved wildly at him.
“Daddy!”
He sat up, waving back at her. “Hello, my sweetheart. How’s Daddy’s girl?”
Her grin was unstoppable as she said, “Good! I made cupcakes today at the shop, and I’m bringing them to class tomorrow.”
“Wonderful, where is Mommy?”
“Right here,” Audrey said, coming into view. Her hair was in a messy bun, her eyes not as bright as he liked, and she wasn’t really smiling. It wasn’t the kind of smile he loved; it was a forced one.
“Hey, baby. I miss you two.”
“We miss you!” Penelope yelled, throwing her arms up in the air.
“We do,” Audrey agreed, her eyes lighting up a little bit. “Great game. We love watching you win, huh, Pennyloo?”
Penelope nodded quickly. “You’re so awesome, Daddy.”
That warmed his heart, but as he eyed his wife, he couldn’t shake the feeling that she had been crying. “Thank you, baby. You are too.”