“Things worked out the way they were meant to. I really questioned if I wanted to stay in this kind of work. Eric and I talked a lot about it. He thinks I have a gift, so I took the job at the Institute for Special Education for the fall. Eric thought it would be a good fit. He was great. It was really time for me to move on to something bigger. And I didn’t want to just take a job because of you. I had to do it for myself, and make sure this is the career I want. I know that now. I had some doubts about it for a while.” The school for the blind he was referring to was in New York.
“What else would you have done?” She was startled to hear that he had considered other lines of work, and would have given this one up. Eric was right. He had a gift. And Salima and countless others were proof of that. Even her singing studies were thanks to him. He had made both their lives better while he was there, even with his soufflés. She smiled at the memory of the time they’d shared, and their brief affair.
“I thought about opening a restaurant. Or working in one, if I couldn’t afford my own. I mean a great restaurant, like La Grenouille. I’ve never done anything with the training I have, except for friends.” He smiled at her. “I have a gift for that too, and I had a secret dream of being a chef. I’ve put that away for now, but at least I’m clear about it, and it doesn’t feel like a sacrifice. I’m excited about the new job. I outgrew Caldwell a while ago.”
“I thought so too,” she agreed, surprised by what he was saying. She had never realized that he was serious about being a chef. She thought he was just having fun. But he was very good at that too. He was a man of many talents.
“And I’ve always wanted to live in France and work in my uncle’s vineyards. I think the wine business is fascinating. I was thinking about moving to Bordeaux. But I decided not to do that either. Actually, my uncle was less enthused about it than I was. I worked for him for two summers in my teens, and I almost burned the place down once with fireworks. He was afraid I’d screw up his business and burn down the chateau.” He grinned and she laughed.
“Well, you certainly had some interesting options. And you can always do either of those later, the restaurant, and the family wine business. But it sounds like you made the right choice for now.” It hurt looking at him and making idle conversation. She hoped it didn’t show. He was as beautiful and appealing as ever.
“I hope so,” he said about his career decision, looking very young. The age difference between them seemed vast to Blaise now, and she felt foolish for ever thinking he’d want a life with her. He hadn’t even figured out what he wanted to be when he grew up, and was only just beginning to. He needed a woman his age to go in different directions and try things out with him. Her life was already established and not as fluid and flexible as his. “And I can always work as a sous chef somewhere on weekends if I want. It might be fun. And the family business isn’t going anywhere. My mother thought I’d hate living in Bordeaux. She couldn’t wait to leave when she was young. I’m going over this summer for a few weeks to visit family at the end of June.” She knew he spoke French fluently, which made it easy for him. It was a real advantage she didn’t have when she was there.
“I just came back from the South of France, the Cannes Film Festival and the Monaco Grand Prix. It’s always crazy, but I love it there,” she said, keeping things light.
“What are you doing this summer?” he asked her. His eyes never left hers for an instant. And he looked as though he wanted to say something else, but didn’t dare.
“We’re trying to decide between Cape Cod, the Vineyard, and the Hamptons.” He nodded. They sounded like reasonable choices for her and Salima and a nice vacation for them.
“And Becky worked out well,” he confirmed. He could tell Salima liked her, from her texts, and she had reported that her mother did too.
“Very. She’s not exciting but she’s very sweet, and they’re like two kids together. I think Salima has taught her more than she’s taught Salima. But it seems to work. And she’s very responsible when I’m gone.” She didn’t say that it was nothing like when he was there. There was no point. Nothing in her life was the same without him, and wouldn’t be again, but she didn’t want to look back, only forward. They both had to move on, and he already had. And she had something important to look forward to now too. He had mentioned looking for an apartment in New York, and she assumed it was for him, Megan, and her three boys.
“Blaise, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am about how confused I was when I left—” She stopped him before he could say more.
“That’s all over, Simon. We don’t need to talk about it.” And she didn’t want to. Just seeing him was painful enough.
“After a while, I figured if I called, you’d hang up on me. And I didn’t want to write an e-mail. I wanted to come and see you and talk to you myself. But I couldn’t leave Caldwell till now. I got here last night, so I came to see you today.” He had walked around all morning before he did, trying to decide what to say to her, and how.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said gently.