I didn’t want to drool all over the gym floor, so I quickly swallowed and looked back at Ash. I didn’t have to say anything, because from the look on her face she knew exactly what I was thinking.
Smiling, she asked, “Why don’t you go over and talk to him?”
“He’s with some smokin’ hot chick. They’re probably dating.”
Tilting her head to the side, she looked at the guy and girl and pursed her lips. Looking back at me, she said, “I don’t think he’s with her. Like that, I mean.”
“Uh, oh well, what can I do?”
Ash patted me on the shoulder, then she grabbed an unopened bottle of water and handed it to me.
“Thanks.” Untwisting the cap, I brought the bottle to my lips and poured the cold water into my mouth and down my throat, trying to cool myself. After drinking half the bottle, I put the cap back on and placed it beside me on the floor. Ash had this look on her face. “What?”
Shaking her head from side to side, she waved her hand. “Forget it.”
I stilled her waving hand in mine. “What, Ash?”
Scrunching her eyebrows together and biting on her lip, she took in a breath. Letting it out, she said, “Have you told your family?”
My heart dropped. I hadn’t. I didn’t even know how to start that conversation. It would probably go something like: “How’s school been?”
“Good. So I’m gay.”
I mean logistically speaking, how do you tell your parents you’re gay? How do you even start off the conversation? And what if they don’t accept you?
A million thoughts starting running through my head and I got lost in all of the questions I was asking myself. But I was calmed when I felt Ash’s hands take mine.
Looking down at our intertwined fingers, I looked up at my best friend and saw a smile on her face. I wanted to say something but I just couldn’t form words. Turns out I didn’t have to.
“Whenever you’re ready I’ll be there with you,” she said.
I could feel tears in my eyes. I couldn’t believe how accepting Ash was. It really was a beautiful thing, but I knew not everybody would be like that once I told them who I was.
I’ve struggled my entire life with who I really am and what society thinks is “acceptable.”
I felt tears running down my face. I whispered thank you to Ash.
I could see tears in her eyes. Slowly smiling at me, she said, “I’ll always be here for you, Derrick, no matter what happens.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. Breaking free of her hands, I pulled Ash onto my lap and hugged the crap out of her. Ash was the first person I told about who I really was and she accepted me with open arms. I just hoped my family would do the same.
Wrapping her arms around me, she kissed me on the cheek and whispered, “I love you, Derrick.”
Getting little butterflies in my stomach, I hugged her even tighter. I swallowed the lump in my throat and barely managed to whisper back, “I love you, too.”
Holding onto each other for a few more seconds, we slowly started to untangle ourselves from each other. I was done talking about me today so I asked, “So, Jason?”
Shrugging her shoulders, Ashlynn said, “Maybe he’s just not into me like that. I mean, we’ve known each other for so long. We get along really well but maybe we aren’t meant to be anything other than friends.” Pursing her lips, she said, “I don’t know. I mean, I tried, but he’s going out with that Christy bitch, so what can you do?”
Letting out a defeated breath, I shook my head. “I don’t know, Ash. I know that boy likes―”
“Please, Derrick. Let’s just drop it, okay?”
Sulking, I dropped my head and mumbled, “Okay,” under my breath.
Feeling an arm wrap around my shoulder, I looked over at Ash and saw tears in her eyes. We both held onto one another.
“I love you, Ash baby.”
“I love you too, Der-bear.” She kissed me on the neck.
Breaking away from her, I kissed her on the tip of her nose. “Come on, let’s go get a stiff drink.”
…stiff. That’s exactly how that hot guy made me.
Chapter 4
Patrick
It has been a few months since Britt left to go to Los Angeles. The city of Angels. At first I was crushed. I didn’t know how I was going to survive without her. I knew she was just a phone call away but I needed my right hand girl at my side; through the thick and thin.
She had helped me overcome so many difficult things in life: my coming out process; my decision to not go to college; my disgusting outfit choices in the 90’s. I still didn’t know to this day how she still managed to stand by me when I thought plaid pants and overalls were hot shit. Ugh, that’s true friendship right there.
I didn’t have to wait long to find a new friend. Thank God for that.