What He Left Behind

Ian steps into the foyer. “Better to clear the air now than lose sleep over it.”

Michael recoils slightly, as if he’s expecting Ian to lash out at him even though he’s never seen Ian lose his temper, not even when I’ve pushed him to the point where anyone in his right mind would have.

“Let’s go sit,” I say softly. “In the living room.”

Michael nods. “Okay.”

He follows us into the living room and takes the armchair. Ian and I take the couch, Ian on the end closest to Michael with me on the middle cushion.

Almost immediately, Rosie crawls into Michael’s lap and curls up. Even from here, I can hear her purring. Though Michael’s obviously tense—aren’t we all?—he still pets her, and he doesn’t even flinch as she kneads his leg.

No one’s speaking, and everyone’s focused on Rosie. She soaks it all up, of course. Nothing better for a smug cat than three people sitting in silence and admiring her.

Michael is still focused on her when he takes a breath and sets his shoulders back. “So, you guys wanted to talk.”

Ian and I exchange glances. He takes my hand.

I shift my gaze to Michael. “It’s about the conversation we had at lunch yesterday. About…”

Michael winces, drawing back a little as his eyes dart toward Ian.

“He told me what you guys talked about,” Ian says softly.

I glance down at our joined hands, then meet Michael’s gaze. “The thing is, everybody’s feelings got more intense than we thought they would. But we’re…”

Ian squeezes my hand gently.

I pull in a breath. “We’re not so sure that’s a bad thing.”

Michael’s eyebrows jump, and his gaze flicks back and forth between us, but he doesn’t speak.

“We…” My pulse is out of control. “The thing is…”

Ian breaks in: “We want you to be part of our family.”

Michael’s eyes widen.

“Actually, that’s not even accurate.” Ian clears his throat, and he’s holding my hand even tighter as he says, “Michael, having you here is what makes this”—he gestures at each of us in turn—“a family.”

My heart flutters. God, now that he says it like that, it’s so true. “He’s right.”

Michael chews his lip. Then he exhales and absently unsticks one of Rosie’s claws from his jeans. “Look, guys. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me recently. It’s made such a big difference, I can’t even put it into words. But this was just a temporary thing. So I could move on from my ex.”

“Do you want it to be temporary?” Ian asks.

I hold my breath, not sure I want to know the answer.

“You two are married.” Michael’s barely whispering. “I can’t… I don’t want to be the third wheel.”

Before I can speak, Ian says, “You’re not the third wheel. If anything, I am.”

My head snaps toward Ian, and Michael and I both say in unison, “What?”

Ian glances at me, then Michael. “You guys have had something special for a lot longer than I’ve been in the picture.” Slowly, his smile comes to life. “And Josh and I, we’ve had something special for a long time too. It almost seems like—”

“You’re not the third wheel, Ian,” Michael cuts in. “The two of you… That was fate if I ever saw it. I knew the minute I met you that you and Josh were in it for the long haul.”

“Then maybe there isn’t a third wheel here,” I say. “Does there have to be? Just because there’s three people involved, does there have to be an odd man out?”

Michael shifts, petting the cat and not looking at either of us.

“He’s right,” Ian says. “The three of us just make sense. I mean, the nights we all spend with a bottle of wine in the hot tub? I look forward to that. And I thought it was just because it’s a chance to relax and get away from everything, but honestly, I could do that alone. I could take a bottle of wine into the hot tub by myself. Or with Josh.” He traces my thumb with his. “But it’s not the same.” He hesitates, chewing his lip, before he adds, “Looking back, I’m just surprised it took this long to figure out that there’s a lot more here than a married couple and a good friend. I guess the sex just…” He glances at each of us. “It just sealed it.”

Michael rests his hand on top of Rosie. “I don’t even know what to say. I mean, if we went through with this, how would it even work?”

“We’ll make it up as we go,” I say.

Ian nods. “I don’t think it’ll be much different from what we’ve already been doing.”

“Exactly,” I say. “I think it’ll pretty much work how it’s been working all along. Quite honestly, how it’s been working since even before we all started sleeping together.”

They both look at me, eyebrows up.

I clear my throat. “Think about it. We can all function on our own. We can all function as pairs—Ian and me, Michael and me, you two together. But if we miss a Sunday night, we’re all bummed out until we can finally do it again. Because it just feels like that’s how everything should be.”