CHAPTER TEN
Even sitting in the Jeep, away from prying ears and eyes, I still didn’t feel all that safe.
“Are we meeting Maximus at the bar?” I asked Dex, staring out the window, watching the shadow of Will go about in the kitchen.
“Yup,” he nodded, texting Maximus as we spoke.
“And where is Bird meeting us?”
“I assume he’ll come find us at the bar too,” he said, pulling the car into reverse, then rolling out along the bumpy road until we were under the Lancaster’s’ gate and on the open road.
“Just to clarify, we aren’t really doing night shots are we?”
He shook his head. “No m’am, we are not.”
The black desert rushed past my window, that unfathomable darkness stretching on as far as I could see. The headlights provided the only light, illuminating just the grey, gritty pavement as we rolled over it. Inside, the glow of the dashboard and consoles sparkled like tiny beacons in the pitchy interior. I felt like I could see our car from a bird’s-eye view, a tiny moving dot of light surrounded by nothing but never ending emptiness. It gave me the shivers.
“Perry?” Dex asked.
I looked at him, his face shadowed, his expression obscured.
“What do you think?”
It was hard to say. Where to start?
“I think,” I said slowly, tracing my fingers along the window pane. “We might be in over our heads.”
And it didn’t feel good. I felt like we were running out of time and losing our grasp on the situation. And the more I thought about that, the more scared I was to go back to Portland with a big fat FAIL hashtag.
“If it makes you feel any better, I think we’re f*cked too,” he said bluntly.
No. That did not make me feel better.
I sighed, having to ask, “How come?”
He started laughing. Really laughing. Hard enough so that he was shaking in his seat. I stared at him, dumbfounded and a bit disturbed.
When he calmed down, he sputtered, “For one, I’m having a hell of a time trying to keep my mind thinking straight.”
“You seem like you’re doing OK,” I told him truthfully.
He looked at me sharply, such a contrast to his laughing fit. So when he said with lowered voice, “I’m not,” I believed him. I nodded, unsure of what to say to that.
He continued though, voice slightly more upbeat, “For another reason, Maximus is f*cking me off.”
“Huh?”
“For another reason,” he went on, “I think we may be dealing with more than just one thing here and I don’t even know what one of those bloody things is. And finally, I think every single person at that ranch is lying to us.”
At least we were on the same page.
“I think Bird is on our side though,” I pointed out.
Dex shook his head. “I can’t trust him. He’s already gotten to you.”
“To me?”
He shot me a long sideways glance. “Yeah. You. What was all that business in the room about? You said you’d tell me later. So tell me.”
“It was nothing.”
“F*ck, Perry!” he boomed, hitting the steering wheel with his hands. “Just f*cking tell me!”
Whoa. Where the hell did that come from? I knew it drove him nuts when I didn’t tell him stuff but seriously...
I crossed my arms and looked out the window. Anything I would say would only fan the flames. I heard him sigh and knew he was relenting.
“I’m sorry. I just…it hurts when I don’t know what’s going on with you.”
“Hurts or it bothers you?”
“Fine. It bothers me,” he admitted.
“Because you like to know everything?”
“Oh, like you don’t? Like you’re not asking me every five seconds what I’m thinking? You think I don’t notice you staring at me?”
I blushed, suddenly thankful for the dark interior.
“I’m not…staring. I just, well, you’re tough to figure out sometimes and you know that, so whatever.”
“And so are you,” he pointed out. “So we’re even.”
I wondered if that’s what that remark on the side of the road meant.
“Look,” I said. “When I don’t tell you something it’s not because I’m hiding it from you…maybe I just don’t think you’d care. Or maybe I think you’d think it was stupid, or ridiculous or maybe it would change your opinion of me. In the worst way.”
Even though explaining that put me in a semi-vulnerable state, it felt good. As good as it felt in the bedroom the other day. I wasn’t sure why it was so hard for me to just say things to him. Why I had to keep on this rollercoaster of wanting to be on the same page and then hiding bits of myself away from him. I wanted him, I wanted his thoughts and his fears and his feelings but I didn’t want to give away a single ounce of myself.
“You need to get out of that head of yours,” he said.
That was true.
“Anyway,” I ignored him. “Bird had just said I would basically attract trouble wherever I went. That spirits or whatever sensed something in me, I don’t know what, and that they were attracted to that. They wanted me and would always be trying to get me. Hence the stronger rock activity, the fox, the crow and the snake…”
“You were afraid to tell me that?” he asked, surprised.
“I don’t know. It makes me sound…self-important. Like I thought I was special.”
“Do you think you’re special, Perry?” he asked seriously.
I winced. “A little bit. Maybe more in the Special Olympics kind of way.”
He smiled and turned his eyes to the road. “You are special, kiddo.”
“Thanks,” I said sarcastically.
“And not entirely in a Special Olympics way. And you know it. I know it. I’m not sure in how many different ways but I know we’ll find out. I think you’ll be very useful.”
“By offering me to the Gods?” I joked. He didn’t reciprocate, smile or laugh. I narrowed my eyes, feeling a weird vibe coming off of him.
“You can’t be serious,” I said. “I was joking.”
“There’s an off chance we may have to use you as bait,” he admitted, not looking at me.
“What?!”
“I said off chance,” he said defensively. “I don’t know what’s going to happen but after the lighthouse it’s pretty obvious you’re partly responsible for attracting the weirdos. You’re like a ghost magnet. Why do you think I like having you around?”
My mouth dropped momentarily. “Because I’m awesome.”
“Oh, well that too.”
And that was exactly why I didn’t ever want to give a single ounce of myself away to Dex. He lulls me into a false sense of security and then treads all over me. Damn him and his stupid mustache.
“Great,” I muttered and leaned against the window, the lights of Red Fox not getting any closer. How freaking far was this damn bar from the ranch, anyway? I didn’t remember the drive being so long.
We traveled in silence for a few more minutes. I had no interest in talking to him for the rest of the evening. But eventually I had to remark on the fact that we were nowhere near the bar. >
“Did you take a wrong turn?” I asked.
He shook his head and peered at the instrument panel. The compass said we were headed southeast. “How could I have taken a wrong turn, we never got off the road.”
“Well, we’ve been driving for at least twenty minutes and I could have sworn the town was ten minutes away.” I looked out the window uneasily. The road curved to the left and the lights were becoming distant.
“I think we should turn around,” I said even though behind us looked just as lost and bleak.
Dex reached into the cup holder and handed me the phone.
“Call Maximus and explain we’re going to be late.”
I did just that as Dex kept driving forward. Now the lights of the town were completely gone, swallowed up by the nebulous night.
“How could you have taken a wrong turn?” Maximus said, voice crackling on the other line. “I’m already at the bar.”
“I don’t know, I’m not driving.”
“Well I’ll be…,” he trailed off as he thought it over, the muffled sounds of the bar jukebox coming through. At least it sounded a bit more bumping than it was the other day. “I don’t know what to say except to turn back the way you came and start all over again. I’ll go find Bird and let him know.”
“OK, I’ll call you in a bit,” I said and hung up as I heard him saying “be safe,” his tinny voice so small in the car.
“Turn around,” I said to Dex. “Now.”
He sighed looking mighty pissed off. It must have been hard for him to admit that he did something wrong. Though I really didn’t see how he could have screwed up driving down a road.
He brought us to a crawl and did a slow U-turn. As he brought the Jeep around, our headlights swirled through the dark and focused on the road heading the other way.
There was a large buck standing in the middle of the road.
We both gasped and Dex braked. Where the hell had that deer come from?
We were maybe four feet away from it. It was like it had been following us – stalking us – down the road and our turn had caught it off guard.
But that was impossible.
We sat there in silence, the only sound coming from my beating heart and Dex’s heavy breathing. The buck was huge, the biggest deer I’d ever seen, and its antlers seemed to reach forever into the sky, like dead branches. Huge puffs of air came out of its wide nostrils, warm mist on a cold night. It raised its head to the side like it was getting a better look at us.
“That’s not a deer,” Dex finally said, his voice barely above a whisper.
Of course it was a deer. It had a shiny coat, four strong legs and deep dark eyes. Actually, its eyes were a little too dark. The retinas didn’t reflect like an animal’s usually would when it had a light shining on it.
“What is it then?” I said through clenched teeth, as if I didn’t want it know that we were talking about it.
Perhaps it did, though. The deer took two steps forward, its head lowered, and grazed the front of our Jeep with its antlers.
“Jesus!” I swore, feeling for my seatbelt. “What do we do?”
“I have a theory,” Dex said. He suddenly slammed the gears into reverse and stepped on the gas. The wheels spun for a few seconds and we were hurtling backwards for a few yards. Dex braked, flipped the car back into drive, and we sat there. The deer hadn’t moved at all. Not a good sign.
“Are we going to have to run it over?” I asked with trepidation, not really wanting to be in a hit and run with a deer.
“It won’t let itself be run over,” he said determinedly. He stepped on the gas and we were off, hurtling down the road, the deer in our sights. Even at the speed we were going, if we hit that thing, we’d be involved in a horrific crash. I could foresee the deer’s body crunching up against our front and come flying through the front windshield at us. We’d be crushed.
“Dex!” I screamed, grabbing the Oh Shit handle.
He kept on the gas. The deer was so close I could have counted the hairs on its coat. But it didn’t budge. It was an immovable object and we were going to collide in three, two –
SCREEEECH!
Dex suddenly twisted the wheel and the Jeep careened off the road. I watched out the window in a horrified daze as we passed the deer by mere inches. Only it wasn’t just a deer anymore.
It was a woman standing upright in a long flowing dress, a deer’s head for a face. I could see it all in slow-motion detail. Clasped hands at her front, the purple flowers on her black dress, the prim posture, the high collar that led up to the massive, blank head of that deer. This time its eyes glowed and followed my stare as we zoomed past it.
When the realization of what I had seen overtook the realization of what had happened, I let out a scream.
Dex wrestled with the Jeep as it went bouncing along the shoulder, heading for the unending desert beyond it. The thought of the car stopping on the road with that…thing out there, was beyond terrifying.
But with a final yank of the wheel and some maneuvering, the Jeep’s wheels found their way back onto the smooth pavement and we were bolting down the road again. I looked behind me. I could barely see it in the fading night but the figure of the woman was still there.
“Did you see that?” I exclaimed.
Dex looked in the rearview mirror. “Yeah,” he said grimly. “I really thought it was going to move.”
“No,” I said hitting him on the shoulder. “I mean, did you see that. It. The woman.”
His eyes widened and gleamed in the low light. “No…what woman?”
I told him what I saw and how I saw it in so much detail.
“Do you believe me?” I asked, as if it mattered.
He nodded. “I believe you. And this just proves one thing. We better get to Bird and fast. He’s got a lot of explaining to do about these skinwalkers.”
We ended up driving all the way back to the ranch. I kept my eyes vigilantly focused for any other ornery creatures or half-human beasts ready to run us off the road. I didn’t see any. Nor did I see any side roads or detours that could have led us astray. Instead, we did a U-turn right in front of the Lancaster’s gate and drove onwards again, slowly this time, making extra sure we weren’t losing our path.
After ten minutes of holding our breath and creeping along at a pedestrian speed, the lights of Red Fox got closer and closer, the landmarks of broken fences, mobile homes and sprawling acreages looked familiar once again and soon we were pulling right up into the dusty, packed parking lot of Rudy’s bar.
Dex put the vehicle in park, flicked off the engine and rested his head on the steering wheel with a thump.
I patted him gently on the back. My contact made him jump slightly.
“At least we made it this time,” I said meekly.
He turned his head on the wheel to look at me. The pale light that emanated from the bar and filtered in through the windscreen made him look tired and washed out. I suppose he probably was, though. I know I probably lost a few pints of blood due to fright. I still wasn’t feeling all there. I felt like I was one step away from a panic attack but now that we were at the bar, where people were, I needed to hold it together.
“How the f*ck did that happen?” he mumbled, face smushed against the wheel. “Are we on The Outer Limits?”
“I don’t know…”
“Seriously, though. Am I going crazy?” he actually looked worried.
I almost had to think before I shook my head. Sure, he might be going kind of crazy from the lack of medication but I was in the car with him. I was there too.
“If you’re going crazy, then I’m going crazy too.”
“That’s a possibility.”
We had discussed that before. How two people could share a conscience and imagine the same things. But as unlikely as it had been back in Oregon, it was just as unlikely now.
“Well, whatever the hell is going on…we’re one step closer to finding out what it is.” I gestured to the bar which had drunken cowboys spilling out of it already.
We got out of the car and walked up to the door. I figured I might look a bit out of place thanks to my bandaged hands and cut-up appearance but apparently I didn’t. As we walked up the stairs, three young cowboys (well, guys in cowboy hats. I just call everyone in cowboy hats cowboys) broke into wide grins at the sight of me and fired a range of greetings.
“My, aren’t you a pretty young thing?”
“How you doing good looking?”
“S’up?”
They didn’t even look twice at my cuts. Nor did they notice Dex right behind me. I gave them all a quick smile and kept walking. Dex pushed the door open for me and we stepped into the bar.
It had done a 180 since we were in there last. The jukebox was blaring “War Pigs,” the pool tables had crowds around them, people were cheersing their beers left, right and center. In fact, I think the clinking of glass might have been louder than the music and that said a lot. People were singing, laughing, yelling. A thick layer of smoke hung in the rafters, the air smelled like sweat, beer and stale tobacco. The bartender from earlier was still behind the bar, though with a lower cut top, and the Old Prospector was still sitting across from her at the bar.
It was drunken chaos. Within five seconds of us standing in front of the door and surveying the area, we had been bumped into three times, the last bump spilling beer down my back.
“Arg!” I yelled at the perpetrator but couldn’t even see who it was through the smelly throng of people around us. Dex grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the bar, squeezing through the crowd. More men stared at me with oogley eyes. Some of them were motorbike types, some were portly ranchers, and some had to have been underage. All of them creeped me out. It wasn’t that it was because it was a small town setting and I was assuming they were hicks. It was that the gash on my cheek didn’t disturb them at all. I guess beaten women were commonplace here. Or maybe I was not the only one being attacked by wild animals.
The line for booze was about six people deep and six people wide but I assumed Dex was going to just ask where we could find Rudy, though I wouldn’t have minded several shots of tequila. The deer incident, getting lost, this sticky, strange crowd – it was all so overwhelming.
I felt a tap on my shoulder and was about to give my most defensive ‘I’m taken’ glare when I found myself eye level with a familiar chest clad in pale red plaid. Maximus. He looked happy to see me and I was more than happy to see him. I let go of Dex’s hand and hugged him. He smelled like the cologne I gave my ex-boyfriend wore.
He laughed and patted my back. “Shucks. I’m just as glad to see you, Perry. You too, Dex. Come on, they’re just over here.”
He pointed at a door near the washrooms and we followed him through the crowd, his head like a ginger beacon.
He knocked at the door three times and it opened. It was Bird. He gave us a nod and ushered us inside.
The room was small, your typical in-house office. There was a ratty couch, a few posters of the desert on the wood paneled walls, an overstuffed filing cabinet, a bookshelf that had been someone’s carpentry project. In the middle was a steel desk piled high with books. Behind it sat a thin, wiry man with round glasses. He was expressionless, his face was narrow and pointy, his skin the color of red bark. He was dressed simply in grey jeans and a blue collared work shirt, his neck, wrists and fingers were adorned with Shan-like jewelry.
“Have a seat,” he said quickly, his voice clipped with the tiniest hint of an accent
Maximus, Dex and I piled onto the couch. It slumped under our weight and I was squished in the middle. Felt like I was going to have a Dex/Maximus cave-in at any moment.
Bird leaned against the wall and nodded at the man. “This is Rudy. Rudy this is Dex and Perry.”
Rudy gave us a curt nod. “Welcome to my bar. Where do we begin?”
“You certainly don’t waste any time,” Dex said.
“I’m afraid we don’t have much time to waste,” Rudy said and got out of his chair. He walked around the desk, a short little man, and stopped in front of us. Actually, he stopped in front of me. He put his hands on his knees and stooped over to look me in the eye. I could see my reflection in his glasses. I didn’t dare move. He smelled like sage or some kind of earthy herb. It was quite pleasant but made my head spin with its headiness.
He stared at me for what seemed like an eternity. Finally he straightened up and said to Bird, “You were right about her.”
“What?” I asked, despite not really wanting to know. “What about me?”
Rudy looked at Bird who raised his eyebrows in response. Rudy turned back to us. “It’s all of you, actually.”
“All of us what?” asked Maximus.
“I’m not sure,” Rudy admitted. “I have my theories though but I don’t think you’re ready for them.”
“God damn it!” Dex yelled suddenly and sprang to his feet. He got in Rudy’s face and started pointing at him. “I’m sick of you people lying to us!”
“Dex!” I barked at him. “Sit down.”
Bird chuckled and laid his hand on Dex’s shoulder, pushing him back from Rudy.
“Easy there boy,” Bird said gently. “I know you’re frustrated and so are we. You have to understand that we don’t…we aren’t trying to be difficult. It’s just some things are hard to explain, even to the people who would take any explanation.”
“Well, try us then,” Maximus sighed. I could hear the exhaustion in his voice. He may have not gotten lost on the road like we had, but the situation was wearing him down just as much. >
Dex shook his head and started pacing around the room. “I just don’t see what the big deal is. You obviously have an idea of what we are dealing with here.”
“And it’s just an idea. But you have a right to hear it. That’s why I agreed to meet with you. I might be able to help. I just needed to know how open your mind was,” Rudy said. At that, Dex stopped pacing and folded his arms, legs rigid in a stance.
Rudy took off his glasses and quickly rubbed the bridge of his nose. “And I’m afraid time is of the essence. I won’t have time for too many questions tonight, so just let me talk.”
“We’re all ears,” I encouraged, sitting on the edge of the couch in anticipation. Maximus was alert beside me. Dex kept his sniper eyes on Rudy, waiting.
“I’m a medicine man,” Rudy said briskly. “I used to do it as a full-time job but the thing is, it doesn’t pay. It’s a gift. We don’t take payment for the things we do. Sometimes we do but most of the time if someone needs help, we have to help them. And out here on the reservations, people aren’t very well off. So I have this bar. I like to think of it as a doctor’s office. People still come into see me with their problems, usually curses and the like, and I can help them and they can buy a beer at the same time. Sometimes I just listen. That’s the way of life when you own a bar. But for the most part, I am just Rudy. So I can only offer you my opinion, take it with a grain of salt. I am just a man.”
He walked over to the couch and sat down on the armrest beside me.
“Bird had first told me about what was happening with the Lancasters two months ago. Way before you came into the picture, Maximus. It’s more than just what Will has been telling you. A lot more. There had been a lot of, uh, unusual circumstances at the ranch. And right away, we knew what it was. Yee naaldlooshii. I don’t even like to say that name but all signs pointed to it. But Will would never admit that. He’s turned his back on his beliefs, even though, deep inside his heart, he knows the truth. You can put lipstick on a pig but it’s still a pig. And until he sees what we see, and welcomes it, it’s not going to stop.”
“But the yee…the skinwalkers. What do they want with him?” I asked.
“I don’t know for sure. I don’t even know if there is more than one of them. Skinwalkers are people like me, medicine men, or witches who indulge in the Frenzy Way…wicked spiritual practices, whose only intent is to scare, harm or kill. With Will, because it’s been going on for so long, I would say they just want to torture him. That’s what Bird and I thought. Then you showed up, Maximus, and gave Will a reason to think it was something more…acceptable. I don’t know why a ghost or “white” spirits are so much more acceptable to Will than a yee naaldlooshii but that’s the way it is. And this ignorance made it angry. More determined. Then Will took it further and invited two young, and white, journalists to be ghost busters. Not only that, but to get it on tape. That is bad form. If Will was still following the way he would have had this dealt with, by me, maybe, and it would have been done undercover. But to broadcast this to the world is such a slap in the face. So the skinwalker is angry. It wants more than ever to prove its existence to him. And it’ll use you people to do this. Ghosts don’t harm or maim people. They just scare. Skinwalkers…they kill. I think you are all in real danger. Even at this moment. I feel like there are people in this bar who could hurt you.”
I was hanging on to every word with icy stillness but that sent a full throttle shiver through my body. Maximus put his arm around me and started rubbing me lightly, his face focused intently on Rudy.
“I won’t let that happen if I can, but that’s why I had to rush, to let you know before you go back out there.”
“But you said there was something about us…,” I said.
“Yes. Normally it wouldn’t be a concern because white people are not easy to witch. You don’t believe. But, unfortunately I suppose, you three do believe. And you want to believe, which is worse. And…there are certain energies coming from you, especially you Perry, that will work against you in this situation. Skinwalkers deal on the principle of power. The more powerful you are, the more powerful you can become. It sounds redundant. But if a skinwalker cuts the piece of the body of a dead medicine man, then they become stronger. If they encounter someone with a similar life force, they will want to…plug in, I guess that’s the appropriate term. Or not. You’re like an outlet and they are a device, always looking for more power. Even a few strands of hair would help them. Imagine what they could do if they got a hold of your finger.”
I felt sick. Bird pointed at my face. “Or your eyeballs.”
I felt sicker. Maximus pressed me closer to him. It helped.
“Sorry,” Bird said gently. “We know that crow wasn’t just a crow.”
Dex was staring at me strangely before he said to Rudy, “So do we know who these skinwalkers are? You say they are people?”
He nodded and got up. “Yes. They are people. As I said, most likely medicine men, or witches.”
“Shan,” I whispered. Everyone looked startled to hear me say that but I knew they had been thinking it too.
Bird shook his head. “And this is where it gets tricky. No one wants to play the blame game here. There are many, many medicine men around these parts. I don’t think it’s Shan. I know it’s not.”
“How do you know that?” Dex countered.
“Because I work with the man. I know him. I know he wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt the Lancasters. And besides, he’s been around during a lot of the activity. A skinwalker cannot be in two places at once.”
“Miguel,” Maximus said suddenly.
“Miguel is Mexican,” I hissed at him.
“So?” He looked up at Rudy. “Does it have to be Navajo? Couldn’t Miguel learn?”
“Listen, I don’t think it’s anyone at the ranch. It wouldn’t make any sense.”
“Maybe it’s you. You’re a medicine man,” Dex said boldly. Too boldly.
But Rudy shrugged it off. “You’re right. It could be me. It’s not, but I’m glad you’re thinking that way because you can’t be too careful. You must understand how serious this is.”
“So what do we do then?” I said feeling so small and so hopeless.
“You can leave,” Rudy said. “Leave tonight.”
“No way,” Dex objected. “No f*cking way, Dr. Spooks.”
He looked at me to see how I felt. I agreed. Sorta. I did not want to be in any danger, especially danger that kind of involved actual people…er, slash animals. But I couldn’t go back with nothing. I couldn’t. And Dex couldn’t either. We didn’t have a choice. We had to stay.
“Yeah,” I put in. “I don’t think leaving is an option for us. We’ve barely got anything. We aren’t going back empty-handed.”
“Then you’re walking straight into the fire,” Rudy warned. “They will make you leave and if that doesn’t work, they will kill you. You understand? Kill you.”
“That’s a risk we are willing to take,” Dex said straightening up, looking as determined as ever.
“Oh come on Dex,” Maximus said. “Seriously, if it’s going to be like this, it’s not worth it.”
Dex ignored him and fished Nicorette out of his pocket.
Maximus looked at me and squeezed my arm tighter. It stung. “Perry. I know Dex isn’t all there, but you’re a smart lady. I would do as Rudy suggests. In fact, I may do as he suggests.”
“Right,” Dex laughed to himself. “Then where would you get your fifteen seconds of fame from?”
“Excuse me?” Maximus got up, his hulking height towering over Dex. Dex grinned and took a step backwards.
Really? A fight? Was this happening now out of all things?
“You heard me,” Dex chewed, taunting him. “That’s the only reason you suggested us to Will.”
Now it was Maximus’s turn to laugh. “Right. Like it would help me out to be on your shitty show…on the internet!”
“Whoa!” I yelled and found myself getting up. I put myself between them and pushed them both away from each other. Or, at least I tried to. They were like trees, trading barbs above my head.
“Don’t insult my shitty internet show,” I said to Maximus. I looked at Dex. “And you need to shut the hell up. We’ve got real f*cking problems to deal with here. Not some stupid ass bullshit that you should have dealt with in college. I don’t even care what it is, but you need to put that behind you. Right now! For me, if anything.”
I was suddenly aware we were having a weird threesome confrontation in front of Bird and Rudy. Luckily, Bird had his diplomatic skills and walked over to us, placing each hand on the guys’ shoulders.
“She’s right,” he said. “You’re both good guys, you have a friendship here deep down. We need all of you to concentrate on what’s at hand. If you’re not going to leave, then you must be prepared to do what it takes to stay. Maximus, if you wish to leave, you can leave. But they are free to make their own decisions.”
Maximus took his eyes off of Dex’s snarl and placed them on Bird’s kind face. A wash of acceptance flowed across them. He turned around, sat back down on the couch and sighed, sinking deeper.
Bird shook Dex slightly to get his attention off of Maximus. Dex’s hands were clenched, as if he was actually considering fighting the burly ginger. He cocked his head at Bird with some reluctance and gave him a lazy stare.
Bird told him, “You need to watch yourself. You’re not well and that’s just going to make you an easy target.”
I stiffened. I thought Dex would get all crazy defensive over that but he didn’t even blink.
Bird looked down at me. “You need to watch yourself too. You can’t be too careful. Be vigilant. You both must look out for each other because that’s all you’re going to have while you’re here. Till death do you part. We don’t want to rush that.”
Dex and I both smiled at the same time. We probably shouldn’t have, given the subject matter, but I knew we both realized how bad we were at this whole fake marriage thing.
“OK,” Dex said, wiping his grin away with his hand. “Any other advice for us? You know, so we don’t die.”
“Yes,” Rudy said. “Tomorrow morning I want you to come out to my place. I have a sweat hut in the back. I can do a sweat ceremony on both of you. Maximus, you too, if you wish. It’ll cleanse your soul so that the spirits can’t find you.”
“And that will keep the skinwalkers away?” I asked.
“No. Skinwalkers are still people. But it will keep evil spirits away, and that will help. We can’t be too careful with the Lancasters. If they are powerful enough, spirits could be involved, easily.”
I swallowed hard. It just kept getting more and more unbelievable.
“What do we do about the skinwalkers then?” I whispered.
“We will ride that horse when we come to it,” he said simply and walked around his desk to sit down.
“What if that horse comes tonight?” Dex asked.
“Just don’t let it inside.”
“What?” Like it was that simple?
“Bird will bring you here tomorrow,” Rudy said, taking out a file from his desk and looking ready to busy himself. “Now, I suggest you go out there and cool off. Drinks are on the house, Melinda, the bartender, knows. Forget about things for now. Bird will take care of you.”
“But we need to know more,” Dex pointed out. “We deserve to know more!”
Rudy peered at him through his glasses. “And you will know more. But there could be spies about and the longer you are in here with me, the more that people could suspect that you’re on to something. Right now, all we have is their ignorance. You’re going to want to hold on to that as long as you can.”
Which meant playing up the dumb white folk card. I could do that.
We thanked Rudy and Bird led us out of the office and back into the bar. Amazingly, it had got even busier.
“Is the entire town here?” I asked Bird.
“Yes.” He smiled. He pointed past the pool tables to where some booths and tables flanked the dance floor. “We’ve got the booth with the reserved sign on it. I’ll get the beers from Melinda.”
I followed Dex and Maximus through the crowd. I couldn’t help but stare at every single person we passed. I didn’t even notice the oogley eyes anymore, I was just looking for signs of malice. Who here was the skinwalker? Who here wanted to prove a so point so badly that it may just end in murder?
So far, it didn’t look like anyone here wanted us dead, at least not me. The more I stared at the various dudes, the more I was met with happy drunken smiles. Even the woman, as few as they were, were friendly. It was like a surreal, redneck version of Cheers and I was Norm.
We made our way to a booth that had a torn piece of paper, with the words “Reserved” scribbled on it, placed under an empty beer. Don’t know what I was expecting, velvet rope?
Being as it was the only booth free, it must have been for us, so we sat down and were immediately engulfed by the awkward silence of too many uneasy thoughts in too many heads. I sat beside Dex, with Maximus on the other side. The crazy “filmmakers” versus the “ghost-talking” firecrotch.
It was a prime location for people watching, though. With a pair of wasted cougars on our left and three rugged mountain men on our right, we were smack in the middle of mating town. In front of us, and a step down, lay the dance floor, the perfect place to showcase the mating rituals, which alternated between sloppy line dancing and sloppy grope fests. The schizophrenic jukebox didn’t help either. >
As Bird seemed to be taking a while, I finally had to say something to ease the tension.
“So we may die this weekend. That’s cool.”
Both of their eyes flitted to me in unison, both totally unamused. I’m not saying the concept was amusing myself, it’s just I had to say what we all were thinking. I thought it was better than saying, “So you guys really don’t like each other, do you? Let’s discuss.”
I shrugged and waited for one of them to say something. They didn’t. They just ignored each other (and me) until Bird came over with a tray of booze. He plunked down a beer in front of each of us and a shot of something dark and strong.
“What’s this?” I sniffed it. It stung my nostrils, a straight hit to the head.
“Bourbon,” Dex said, smiling, and slammed his back without hesitation.
“Oh,” I raised up my shot to cheers Maximus but he was already done his as well. I looked at Bird who sat down next to him. “Cheers to us then?”
Bird picked up his shot glass and we clinked across the table.
Down the hatch it went, burning wonderfully. I felt like one wasn’t enough but I got started on my beer. Maybe getting drunk was the answer for right now. Rudy was right. We need to forget about things…at least, just for a little bit. Bird would be our eyes.
I relaxed a little and sat back against the crusty velvet cushions. Within a minute one of the waitresses came over and put more beers and more shots down on our table. It was like she had divine telepathy.
“Now let’s do this properly,” I said before anyone could drink. “Let’s just put everything aside and have some fun tonight. Here’s to…New Mexico.”
Surprisingly, Dex and Maximus both smiled at that and we all clinked. Even the cougars beside us chimed in, “To New Mexico!”
This shot tasted a lot better than the first and my insides were already tingly warm. The glasses of wine I had at dinner had done nothing to prepare me for this. Despite a slow metabolism and a well-padded body, I was always a lightweight when it came to drinking. That’s not to say I couldn’t hold my own (I was a champion drinker in high school...not that I’m proud of it), but it definitely didn’t take much for me to get to the tipsy zone.
I turned my fizzy head and looked at Dex sitting beside me. He was peeling the label off of his beer again, as Maximus and Bird talked to each other about the history of the bar.
“Sexually frustrated?” I asked. Yup. Drinking around Dex was not going to be a good idea, I could see this already.
He raised one brow at me in surprise. “Yes,” he smiled, matter-of-factly.
“Because your girlfriend is not here?” I teased.
“Sure.” He had a long gulp of his beer and set it down neatly between his hands. They twitched. He was a very twitchy guy.
The song people were dancing to (some new country piece of crap) just ended and the opening strains of Dire Straits “Walk of Life” came on over the speakers. The song always reminded me of my dad and spending summers fishing on the Columbia River when I was a child.
I couldn’t help but cry out, “I f*cking love this song!”
Maximus must have loved it too because he suddenly put down his beer, got up, and held his hand out in front of me.
“Care to dance?” he grinned. Now, normally I don’t dance, at all, but dancing to this song with the studly redhead was sure to be a lot more fun than drinking with Twitchy McGee.
“Okay,” I smiled uneasily and took his hand. He took me out to the dance floor and held my hands and started spinning me around, back and forth, in time to the happy beat. We certainly weren’t as good as the other dancers. Even though everyone was wasted, the people of Red Fox still knew how to move, even if it was sloppy. But Maximus held his own, even though he was a foot taller than I and stepped on my foot more than once (thankfully not my wonky one). I just tried to keep up. It was fun though, the most fun I think I had this entire trip. Not that that was saying much considering the circumstances. Nothing says you’re having a great time like a crow trying to peck your eyes out.
He did look awfully handsome. I know gingers get a bad rap but there was something so very masculine and manly about him. I think the booze prompted me to say the next thing.
“Red Fox,” I mused. “Did they name the town after you?”
He grinned unabashedly and spun me around.
When the song was over, I was prepared to go sit down again, especially as U2’s “Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” came on. But Maximus held me there, prisoner of the dance floor and Bono-rific rock.
“It’s U2,” I explained while trying to move. Slow dancing was one thing and doing it to U2 was overkill.
“It’s classic U2,” he said defensively, bringing me closer to him.
“My opinion of you just went down a notch.”
I was tempted to be a goof and dance like an idiot to the song but Maximus looked serious. He slipped his arm around my waist until I was pressed up against him. I raised my head to see his intentions.
He smiled, sweetly, and brought his face closer to mine, close enough to count the freckles across his broad nose. I tensed up thinking he was going to make a move on me or something, but we moved through the crowd slowly, swaying back and forth, slow dancing.
“Are you really thinking about leaving?” I whispered, aware of the other couples milling around us and the potential for eavesdropping.
“Yeah,” he said slowly in that rich drawl. “I was hoping I might convince you to come with me.”
I was startled. “What? Why would I do that?”
He studied me for a second before saying, “Because you’re crazy if you stay. As nutty as everything sounds, I believe Rudy when he says there’s danger here. If Bird hadn’t been there today, you…wouldn’t be here. You’d be long gone. If this is only going to get worse…”
“I know.” I sighed. I really didn’t want to think about this right now. “But I don’t have a choice.”
“Of course you do!” he exclaimed loudly. He lowered his voice at the curious faces that turned and looked at us. “Of course you have a choice. Just forget it. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t complete this show. There will be other chances. It’s not worth risking your life over, Perry.”
I shook my head. He didn’t understand at all. But I guess that wasn’t his fault.
He looked at me with the most regarded expression. “Think about it. I’ll be leaving in the morning. You can stay in the hotel with me. You’ll be safe, missy. We’ll get out of this darned town and you can focus your efforts on something else. Something, say, that won’t get you maimed by some Navajo supernatural beast.”
“And then what about Dex?” I pointed out. I turned my head and looked over at him. He was putting quarters in the jukebox and being chatted up by more women.
Maximus followed my gaze and chuckled. “Dex will be fine.”
“What if he’s not?” I said. “I can’t just leave him here.”
“Yes, you can. If he doesn’t want to leave, there’s nothing we can do about it.”
“OK, I don’t want to leave him here then,” I said begrudgingly.
“Perry. He’d leave you if he had the choice,” he remarked. That stung. It wasn’t true, was it?
“No, he wouldn’t…,” I trailed off despite my brave face.
“Look. Though it’s been years, I reckon I know him better than you do. I’m sure he’s changed in many ways, but he’s still the Dex that I know and the Dex that I know is a selfish son-of-a-bitch who has no regard for anyone else, ever.”
That also stung. It really cut me to hear him say that, even though I wasn’t in any place to counter his opinion.
“You said…he’s been through a lot,” I started.
“He has. I told you that so you’d have a tiny bit of understanding but it doesn’t explain everything. It’s no excuse. Yeah, things in life suck sometimes and they can bring you down and set you back. But all that did was give Dex an even greater excuse to continue being an a*shole.”
That was it. I had enough of this top secret mumbo jumbo bullcrap. I stopped dancing for a second and stiffened my limbs. I looked him square in the eye, demanding the truth.
“What the hell did he do to you?”
Maximus glanced uneasily in Dex’s direction. He was back at the booth, drinking and laughing along to something with Bird and the two cougars who had sat down with him. One of the cougars, the more attractive blonde in overtly pink lipstick, had her hand on his leg.
“I’ll consider going with you if you can give me an example of all this bad blood that doesn’t seem to stop gushing all over the place,” I goaded, hoping he would take the bait, hoping he wasn’t going to say something that would actually want me to leave Dex behind.
“He slept with my girlfriend.”
So it finally came out. Figures it would be that.
“I see,” I nodded. “No wonder he was so possessive of Abby. He was just projecting himself.”
“He did this after what happened to Abby. When I was really there for him, helping him through all his shit. He just went and slept with her.” From the tone of his voice I could obviously see it was something he hadn’t gotten over.
“It’s been, like, ten years, hasn’t it? Let it go,” I told him.
“You’ve obviously never been cheated on,” he sulked.
“I have, actually. I know very well. And yeah it makes me angry but people make mistakes.”
“You’re excusing it?”
“No. I am not. Not at all. I f*cking hate my ex-boyfriend for doing that to me but, you know, I moved on. I don’t forgive him for it but I can’t let it eat me up inside either.”
“We were so close to actually getting somewhere. Then he just…blew it for all of us,” he sighed and twirled me around.
I was pulled into his chest, confused. “Blew it?”
“The band. We were so close to making it, and then he had to go and get himself…he just lost it. Lost himself. And left us. We could have been something. I mean, really something.”
“Wait, so what you’re really upset about is the fact that your stupid band broke up?” I didn’t mean to call the band stupid but the conversation was getting stupid.
He didn’t say anything.
I went on, “His girlfriend dies. Dies. He blames himself. He sleeps with your girlfriend. Then quits the band. Before you said it was because he, well, kind of lost it –”
“Oh, he lost it,” he interrupted.
“Yeah. And understandably.”
“We were so close,” he repeated. I wasn’t sure if he meant this time about the band’s path, or his relationship with Dex, but he probably meant both.
“And now what are you doing? Are you playing in a band? Are you practicing music?”
“No,” he mumbled. He was starting to look uncomfortable, maybe ashamed. I didn’t want to add to it but someone had to be the voice of reason. I wonder if this is what Ada felt when dealing with me. The fleeting thought of Ada made me feel warm inside, stronger almost.
“Maximus. I admit I don’t know you. And I don’t know Dex as you say you do. But if you’ve been harboring some…futile…grudge all these years, why the hell did you contact Dex to come out here?”
At that, the song ended and the dancing came to a halt. He was pondering it over, his eyes anxiously roaming the space above my head as people came on and off the dance floor.
“I really wish you’d come with me,” he said carefully and with sincerity, sidestepping the question entirely. “Dex really isn’t the person you think he is. I don’t want you to find that out the hard way.”
Now that I knew what was what, I had to take everything Maximus said with a grain of salt. I sighed, rolled my eyes and walked back to the table. Why couldn’t Maximus have been the normal, much-needed, no agenda foil to Dex? I suppose his job title of ghost talker should have told me a lot to begin with. I didn’t think I was ever going to meet anyone normal as long as I was filming ghosts for a living. Then again, that was people. Everyone had their baggage. God knows I was at the top of that heap.
Just as we got back to the table, the blonde cougar gave me a territorial glare and quickly grabbed Dex’s hand and yanked him up with her.
“You’re dancing with me sugar,” she cooed. She put her arm around him and he laughed, clearly enjoying the attention.
“Like I have a choice,” he grinned at her. I don’t think she picked up on the sarcasm. She dragged him off as “Crocodile Rock” came on.
He winked at me as he brushed past and I stifled a laugh. I had to see this.
Maximus and I sat down with Bird. I guess the other cougar had gone off somewhere.
“This will be interesting,” Maximus commented as he plowed into his next beer. I wasn’t sure if that was a guess or a statement.
I took a sip of my own beer and watched the scene.
On the dance floor Dex actually blended in. He had on his red Charlie Harper-esque bowling shirt and had plucked a black cowboy hat off of someone and place it on his own head, giving him that spiffy, cleaned up rancher look. Not that it was my cup of tea but I had come to the conclusion that you could dress Dex up like Steve Urkel and I’d still find him attractive. Sigh.
The dancing was something else. The cougar was a quick mover. Obviously she spent a lot of years dancing at bars and manhandling young men. But Dex…that was the surprise. >
He moved like…I don’t know. Using Gene Kelly as an example was pretty outdated but that’s the first thing that came to my head. The man could dance. And to Elton John, no less. He was doing a bit of line dancing, a bit of swing, a bunch of something else I didn’t know, and mixing it all together in some bizarre act that would have easily draw applause on So You Think You Can Dance.
It at least drew applause from the people watching. Even Bird was mighty impressed.
“Your husband is quite the dancer,” he commented while adjusting his own hat.
“Yeah,” I breathed. I stole a peek at Maximus. He didn’t look surprised at all. I suppose he already knew this trick that hid up Dex’s sleeves, one of many I was sure. And then I understood. Maximus was jealous of Dex, always was. Maybe he wanted us here to use Dex (that seemed to be what Dex thought with his “fifteen minutes of fame” comment) or maybe he wanted to destroy him. Either way, I could see it in his eyes, which turned such a cool shade of jade as he watched Dex, that there was a lot of hate. And some love, too. Dex seemed to have that affect on a lot of people, myself included.
I looked back at Dex. The song had finished and already he was with some other woman. This one was younger, maybe mid-twenties, with a shapely figure and a cute face. A twinge of jealousy ran through me. Ugh. Maybe I had more in common with the Cajun than I had thought.
“That doesn’t bother you?” Bird asked.
I looked up at him sharply. This was the one circumstance where I could admit the truth. I could sense Maximus eyeing me expectantly.
“It does,” I said slowly. “But I suppose I’m the jealous type.”
I looked at Maximus and met his eye with all seriousness. “And who isn’t?”
He nodded. He was going to draw his own conclusions from that and I couldn’t say that he’d be wrong.
I sighed deeply and found myself peeling the label off of my own bottle.
Then I stopped. To hell with that.
I drank the beer instead.
The song ended and I could see a bunch of women approaching Dex, probably asking him to dance or offering to buy him a drink. He was like the Cary Grant of the Red Fox dance floor. OK, also an outdated reference.
The next song came on. Billy Joel. “She’s Always a Woman.” It’s like the jukebox knew. This was our song, or at least our singer. Well, not really. But in my head it was. It reminded me of Oregon, when I was first getting to know him. When I found out he could sing. When I found out we were in for so much more that we thought.
My heart sank a little bit over those first few piano notes. But Dex shook his head at the ladies, said something to them with a smile, and flashed his ring. Then he pointed at me. And my heart, my stupid heart, stopped.
He walked off the floor, grinning at me, like he had some fantastic present behind his back. He stopped in front of our table while the disgruntled women looked on. He tipped his hat (or whoever’s hat that was).
“It’s our song,” he said. He held out his hand. I took it, as if in slow motion, and let him lead me onto the dance floor.
He put one arm around my waist, holding me snuggly against him. It was a different kind of awkward than it was with Maximus. It was a wonderful, head-spinning awkwardness that made my heart beat out of my chest and my knees turn to putty.
He held my hand with his other one and grinned at me, our faces so intoxicatingly close that he grazed the top of my head with the felt brim of his hat. I kept my eyes on those cocoa brown orbs of his. It wasn’t hard.
And then…then he started singing along with Joel’s voice. Softly, quietly. I was such a sucker right there and then and he knew it, that bastard. If he wasn’t holding me up, my spine would have collapsed in a warm puddle of blissed-out nerves.
He leaned further in and sang into my ear, a deep murmur that sent shivers through me that I tried to contain. Why was he doing this to me?
We didn’t say anything else to each other. We just moved as one, gliding through the night. It was like a telephoto shot, he was the only thing in focus. Everything else just slipped away, a blur. It was wrong in so many ways, but it felt so right. I felt whole, as stupid as that sounds. I felt like nothing else mattered but this moment right now. F*ck the skinwalkers, the filming, the ranch, the show. I just needed this. I wanted this.
I closed my eyes and, despite trying to save face, I laid my head on his shoulder. Everything that was cooped up inside, all that crap, all those worries were gone and it was just us. He smelled like aftershave, that sweet tobacco and something else that made my blood pump hot with desire. He sounded like roughed up velvet. He felt like I never wanted to take my hands off of him.
I love you.
My eyes snapped open in pure terror. Did I just think that? They stayed wide open, my body tensing slightly. As we made our slow turn, I could see Maximus and Bird watching us intently, but they had no bearing on what just happened. I loved him?
I lifted my head up and pulled back ever so slightly. Dex lowered his brows knowing something was off. The song ended.
We stopped but he still held me. And just like that I was scared. Terrified of these feelings inside of me. I wanted to get away, I needed to clear my head. I hoped to God that U2 wasn’t the next song.
“Whatcha doing wifey?” he asked curiously.
“Song’s over,” I said trying to sound as breezy as possible. I don’t love you, I thought. That was crazy talk.
He looked around him at nothing and everything, appearing to listen. Then he said, “Is it?”
“Just the Way you Are” came on the speakers next. Are you serious?
Dex laughed. “Don’t look so worried. Best fifty cents I’ve ever spent.”
“What? Did you select Billy Joel’s Greatest Hits or something?”
“Well, I tried,” he licked his lips. “But these were the only two songs. I’m afraid it’s Poison after this so you should probably enjoy this dance while you can.”
We started moving to the music again, the slow build at the beginning.
“You really like Billy Joel, don’t you?” I said.
He brought me closer to him and smiled broadly, his cheeks rising. My goodness, he was handsome when he smiled. “He’s all right. But I figured you might dance with me if I put this on. Only fair that I get to dance with my wife.”
“A good wife would dance with you to anything,” I pointed out. “Especially with you. You’re a modern day Gene Kelly.”
He laughed. “Years of theatre school and that’s the only thing that sticks.”
I didn’t know what to say to that so I just shook my head slowly to myself. Theatre school was a surprise but then again what the hell wasn’t. If Dex told me that he used to work for NASA, I wouldn’t have batted an eye. In fact, I could imagine him wanting to check out aliens on another planet.
Finally, I said, “You’re going to continue to surprise me, aren’t you?”
“I hope so. The element of surprise is all I have,” he surmised.
Then he grabbed my ass.
I’m not kidding. He full on grabbed it, squeezed it with one of his hands. I looked at him, shocked, but he was looking at Bird and Maximus, grinning like an idiot and giving them the thumbs up with his other hand.
“What the hell, Dex?” I hissed. I wasn’t mad, just…well, surprised. He had that.
He let go but still held me close in that general area.
“What? I’m allowed to grab my wife’s ass. She’s got a nice one.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “What would Jennifer think?”
I didn’t mean to bring her up at all but it was the first thing out of my mouth. I knew ass-grabbing wasn’t really a major offense in the rule book (unless it’s one of your drunk uncles, now that shit is out of line) yet it seemed wrong. Probably just as wrong as that “I love you” thought that danced across my head only moments earlier. Things, once again, were getting way out of control.
Dex didn’t seem too put out by the mention of his girlfriend, though his eyes grew serious and he calmly said, “There is no Jennifer in this scenario.”
I had to admit, I kind of liked that scenario. But…
“You’re skirting dangerous territory, Dex,” I told him while hoping he would just get it and not have me plunge into an explanation.
“What do you mean?” he said innocently, widening those eyes of his to perfect circles.
Of course. And what was I going to say? That he was trying to lead me on? Was he even? Did he know I liked him, let alone….eh, I didn’t even want to finish that thought.
“Your girlfriend is awfully trusting of you, that’s all,” I said, even though it was very clearly not all.
Our stare intensified for a split second. Then Dex did that lazy grin of his.
“We have a relationship based on trust. Just like you and I do.”
Oh, why did he have to add that last part in there? I nodded anyway. It was true and it was foolish for me to speculate on their relationship. Didn’t mean I was going to stop though, least not in my head.
“Looks like you’re attracting some yokels at ten o’ clock,” Dex said. I looked over my shoulder. Sure enough there was a pair of guys blatantly leering at me. They weren’t wearing cowboy hats like the rest of them. Instead, they had simple jeans and t-shirts and the appearance of surly dispositions. One of them had his neck taped up with all sorts of bandages, the other had a black eye. Probably your typical aimless twentysomethings who went around their small town making trouble. I hoped that their leering wouldn’t soon translate into a fight with Dex. But Dex didn’t seem to mind all that much. And why should he. I was just his fictional wife.
“Lovely pair,” I said to him. “Are you suggesting I go for them?”
“Only if you wanna add another cut to that cheek,” he replied and spun me around.
When the song ended Dex decided it was time for the bathroom and left. Maximus had already gone to the bar to get us a round of other drinks. So I sat down beside Bird and wished the beer I had left was cold, and still full.
“I think those are the fellas that were attacked on the Lancaster’s property,” Bird said, nodding in the direction of the douchebags. I stole another glance. They were still looking over at me with intensity. It unnerved me even more.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Yup,” Bird said and leaned back. “Want me to go ask them some questions?”
I shook my head absently. If anyone was going to get answers, it was going to be me.
“Let me handle this,” I said confidently. I started to get up but Bird reached out for me.
“Be careful Perry,” he said, his eyes pleading. I couldn’t upset Bird. I would be careful. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen to me in this bar with all these people around? I wasn’t an idiot.
I gave him a reassuring smile and made my way over to them, doing the strut I only do when I’m feeling either confident or drunk. The latter was winning out at this part. This was going to be my greatest acting mission ever.
I stopped just in front of the guys who were perched at the bar ledge that surrounded the dance floor and put on my bimbo face.
“Say, would you two be from around here?” I asked them, my voice several octaves higher than usual.
They both perked up, then played it cool.
“Yeah,” the one with the black eye said. “We’re from here. You’re not.”
“No, I’m not,” I smiled bashfully. “I’m here visiting some friends of mine. You have a lovely town. Do you come to this bar often?”
“Only bar we have,” the guy said, looking me up and down. He exchanged a look with his friend. “Can we buy you a drink?”
“Sure. Coors Light would be great, thanks,” I replied, not wanting to get anymore drunk at this point. His injured friend hobbled off to the bar. He definitely did look like he was attacked by something. I turned my focus back to the dude in front of me. He was about 6 feet tall, well built, with black curly hair that was on the longish side. His eyes were so dark that they almost looked entirely black. He didn’t look native but was certainly tanned and his hands were rough enough to indicate he did a lot of outdoor work.
“What’s your name?” I asked. “I’m Perry.”
“Perry,” he laughed. “That’s f*cking weird.”
I smiled stiffly, resisting the urge to punch his lights out. “And you are?”
“Daniel,” he said. “That your boyfriend?”
He was pointing past me. I looked and saw Dex making his way back to the table with several drinks under his arms in Neil Hamburger fashion.
“No,” I said hesitantly. I should have mentioned that he was actually my pretend husband but I thought that might interfere with my fake hitting on them. I was grateful that my wedding ring was at my side and out of his sight. I contemplated taking it off and slipping it into my pocket.
Daniel and I managed to make some small talk though until his brother Hank came back and handed me my beer. Not that it made a difference, since Hank barely said two words. Both of them were brothers and mighty strange ones at that. Hank seemed ill almost and was constantly itching his neck. Daniel was lewd, rough and reluctant to talk about half the subjects I approached him with, even innocent ones like where he went to school and what he did for a living. Most I got was that they likened themselves to modern day Indiana Joneses. Thank goodness for the free beer, drinking it was pleasantly distracting.
Then the questions about me came. Who was I visiting? Why was I here?
“Oh, family friends,” I said. “The Lancasters.” >
They both tensed up at that. Interesting.
“You know them?” I said, baiting them.
Daniel nodded, “Everyone knows everyone here. One big incestual family.”
I smiled awkwardly. My face felt kind of funny, like my lips didn’t want to move.
Daniel went on to say the Lancasters were on hard times, as was everyone else in the area. He didn’t sound sorry about it, though.
I listened while he talked, though I felt more and more removed from the situation. I put my hand up to my forehead. It felt hot as hell and I was starting to feel dizzy. My fingers felt numb too, which was strange. Maybe I should slow down with the drinking, I thought. I was running on adrenaline and barely any sleep. It had been the longest day ever.
I put my beer down on the ledge. It was only half full, something I noted with strange concentration.
“Our beer not good enough for you?” Daniel questioned with annoyance.
I shook my head and tried to explain, “It’s been a long day.”
Except I slurred most of that. I looked around the room. The people laughing, yelling, singing…they all came in and out of focus. The room seemed poised to start spinning, like horses at a starting gate. I looked at Daniel. He looked vaguely concerned.
“Are you OK?” he said putting his hand on my shoulder.
I nodded, trying to ignore it. It was hard. I felt like I couldn’t even think straight. It was all the workings of one of my panic attacks. Strange, I thought disjointedly, since I had no warning signs.
Yet my head felt like it was a sandbag. I was having troubles keeping it up as I brought my gaze over to the table. Dex and Bird were drinking and talking. I didn’t know where Maximus went. It didn’t matter.
“I need fresh air,” I said slowly, trying hard not to slur. I did not want them to think anything was wrong. It was too embarrassing.
I very carefully got to my feet and smiled as if I weren’t swaying to the left helplessly. They both got up in unison and gripped both my shoulders.
“Do you feel sick?” Daniel asked.
I mumbled something in response.
They took hold of my arms and took me around the dance floor and to the back corner of the room where there was an emergency exit door. I tried to keep focused on Dex and Bird but when we passed their table, they were too occupied to notice me. And I was too incompetent to say anything to get their attention. I just watched hopelessly as I passed them by, my neck wobbling back and forth, like overcooked spaghetti.
The boys opened the door, the emergency sign was glowing this unnatural, oversaturated red that took over my vision.
Next thing I knew I was outside. It was freezing cold and dark as anything. For a second I felt completely sober, like the chill was enough to shock me slightly into a better sense of comprehension.
But then I lost it. I fell to my knees, the cold dirt a terrible landing pad.
Just leave me here. Leave me here on my all fours like a dog and I’ll be happy. My thoughts felt distant, like someone else was thinking them for me. I just wanted to crawl away somewhere and sleep but I stared at the dark dirt between my hands, focusing on every grain, on every molecule. It fascinated me. All I could think of was the dirt and the cool feeling of it against my sore hands. In the bare light from the bulb above the door, it almost looked like the dirt crystals could be stars and when my vision started to blur, they sparkled like far off galaxies.
“Get up,” Daniel growled from somewhere behind me, and I felt myself being lifted up by his arms.
I was on my feet and he was holding me. But something felt so wrong. So very, very wrong. In pure panic attack mode, I started fretting about nothing, just feeling and instinct.
“I wanna go back,” I said. I pointed at the door with all the might of my loosely flailing arm. My inner self knew exactly what I was trying to say. I want to go back inside and see my friends. I wanted to go back inside and get help. But it didn’t come out that way.
“Shhhh,” Daniel said. His voice sounded like poison, dripping maliciously, and affected me similarly. “We’ll make you feel better.”
And I was being dragged off. Literally dragged. He pulled me towards the darkness and I couldn’t move my legs in any fashion, so my lower body fell in an awkward thump and my feet dragged in the dirt behind me. This was so wrong, I thought stupidly. What could I do? What was going on?
There was a truck up ahead in front of us. I saw Hank go into the driver’s side. Were they taking me to the hospital? It didn’t feel like that but I didn’t know anything at this moment.
“Please stop!” I cried out, trying to raise my voice. To his credit, Daniel did stop. He hoisted me up so I was on my feet again and I felt remotely in control. He grabbed hold of my shoulders.
“How are you feeling? You don’t seem too well,” he said. I looked up at his face. His eyes sunk into obsidian black holes. There was nothing good in him. It ruffled me to the core.
“I need to go inside,” I whispered, my words slurring without my control. I tried my hardest not to lose my balance but it seemed that my muscles were on the verge of total atrophy. The fear of being totally helpless was indescribable. If I wasn’t feeling numb already, that would have done it.
“You should come with us,” he sneered. Yes, sneered. It wasn’t just in my head. My worst fears were coming true. I tried to play it cool. Cool in the best way I knew how. It got me to the front of the pit in packed rock concerts.
“I’m going to puke,” I feigned while managing to put my hand to my mouth. It wasn’t that far off, I think I could have hurled anywhere.
But he just dug his fingers into my skin and put my face up to his. “That never bothered me, darling.”
And then he was kissing me. His slimy, slobbering tongue all over my mouth as I tried so hard to keep it closed. In any other circumstance I would have drawn up my stunt training skills and bopped him one up the nose, but I couldn’t even move my arms. They were blocks of ice, laid down by the sheer, rebellious failure of my nerves.
I’m drugged, I thought, fleetingly. It was the most horrifying thought of the day.
I turned my head to avoid the disgusting, cold tongue that licked my lips and face. I looked away. My brain focused on the dull details. The way the stars looked above the dark mountains, the way the mountains were a moody haze against the darker night sky, the way the bar and the town of Red Fox barely threw any light towards the heavens. It was cold enough outside to make me shiver in my long-sleeve shirt, the air was fresh as anything except for the wafts of booze coming from Daniel’s face. Was I about to go on autopilot? I didn’t even care. And that sickened me with every tired ounce I had left.
And then I was on the ground. My legs gave out in slow motion and I went along with them. The back of my head hit the dirt without any pain. It just kind of sank into the chilly, soft earth, as if it were a well-worn pillow, waiting for my slumber.
I wanted to close my eyes and pretend whatever was going to happen was just a dream, but I couldn’t. They were open, observing everything. The moon behind Daniel as he started to undue his belt and zipped down his fly. His hands as they flew to my own pants and started fiddling with the zipper. They looked like yellow talons, wrinkled and dry with slick claws at the ends. I felt them slice part of my stomach near my belly button but the pain was masked by the terror in my heart.
I never thought it would be like this. I never thought that if I was ever assaulted or raped, that I would just lie back and take it. I had so many scenarios that I had played out in my head. Where ever I was, I would spin around and deliver my own defense. Maybe it was a kick to the balls, or maybe it was some adrenaline-filled horror where I ended up jabbing my keys into a guy’s neck. It was terrible but effective and though I’ve doubted I would able to act without mercy, I was now faced with the truth that I may be fully conscious and unable to do a single thing. It didn’t seem fair.
Regardless, I tried to fight Daniel off. It didn’t work. My hands were flying towards his face in an awkward manner, unable to fully make contact with him. He laughed and continued take off his pants until they were down by his ankles. My own pants were not all the way off but they were ripped and sticky, maybe blood from where he clawed at my stomach. He then pinned one of my hands back above my head. This was the most vulnerable, the most exposed, I had ever felt. I closed my eyes and prayed that I could find the strength to fight back.
I felt a surge flow through me. I opened my eyes and saw Daniel’s face inches from mine, that sinister snarl on his disgusting lips. His eyes weren’t even human anymore.
I turned my head away from him and looked away at the darkness between him and the truck. A small, low figure skirted past. It moved awkwardly, but quick, like a human running on all fours. It had a long leathery tail dragging behind it. It disappeared around the truck. I looked back up at Daniel to see if he had noticed. If he had, he probably welcomed it. His face seemed to contort before my eyes, his nose stretching out, growing, into a beak of some sort.
Then, a shadow passed in front of it. I heard a metallic clink in the back of the truck and a scraping sound.
And suddenly something dark and heavy swept past my vision and with a CRACK! Daniel went flying backwards off of me. I was dumbfounded.
“Perry!” I heard a disembodied voice cry. It was familiar.
I felt a hand touch my cheek and I looked to my right. Dex’s head was there, poking over me.
“Are you hurt?” he asked, his voice high and tight.
I tried to shake my head but it barely registered.
I felt him pick me up underneath the arms until I was up. I could barely hold myself up, so Dex turned me around and I fell straight into him. I clawed at his arms and back like I would never hold another person again. I whimpered, unable to express any of the millions of things I was feeling. He held me with one arm, his other holding onto a shovel that he apparently just pounded into Daniel’s face.
“I got you,” he whispered. “Was it just this guy?”
No, I thought. It wasn’t. There was Hank. There was an animal. I tried to speak but no words came out. I lifted my head with all my might just in time to see Hank coming around from the side of the truck.
Dex was fast. He spun around and saw him. In that instance he let go of me and I held onto the truck for support. Dex took the shovel and wielded it in the air like a baseball bat towards Hank.
I saw the back of the shovel hit Hank square in the face. I saw his face contort, then crumple with the blow. A splash of red and white flew out from the corner of his mouth. He flew backward and disappeared beneath the truck.
I looked at Dex. Something manic had taken over his eyes. He was almost grinning while his eyes remained the most determined beams of pure hatred I had ever seen. He raised his shovel in the air, prepared to bring it down on Hank’s face.
“No!” I managed to finally scream. “Dex!”
Then I hunched over on the truck, barely able to keep upright. My eyes averted from the violence. I didn’t know what happened next, but after a grunt and a long pause, I heard the shovel drop to the ground.
I felt him run over to me, his arms taking me in his, his hand propping my face up.
“Perry,” he yelled. “Hang in there.”
My vision started to fuzz out, along with the last few working components of my brain. My consciousness was in and out after that.
I remember a flashlight.
Some screams.
Doors slamming.
Bird’s voice.
I remembered being in a car. The lights on the console. People driving. Lying on the backseat.
I remember being lifted in someone’s arms. Smelling sweet tobacco.
The lights of the Lancaster’s porch.
People fussing and touching me.
I remember being carried up the stairs, seeing them rise and fall beneath me.
The bathroom. The toilet bowl. Puking. My hair being held back. Thinking about what I ate that day.
Then I was in the bathtub, naked. The water was pink and warm. I wasn’t alone and I didn’t care.
And then I was suddenly in the room, in my pajama pants and tee shirt, being lowered onto my side of the bed by Dex.
“You’re safe now, Perry,” said Bird’s voice. I gingerly rolled my head to the side, the coolness of the pillow pressing against my cheek and looked at the door. Bird was standing in the doorway, one hand on the knob, about to leave the room. “I’ll be just outside your door all night. With this.”
He raised his shotgun in the air for emphasis and then stepped out into the hall, closing the door behind him. I looked around the room, my eyes aching as they rolled in their sockets. It was just Dex.
He was sitting beside me and pulling the blanket up to my neck, tucking me in. He looked terrible, like he had lost twenty pounds in the last few hours. His eyes were melancholic and wired all at the same time. He smiled at me, sweetly, sadly, and brushed the hair off my forehead.
“How are you feeling?” he asked gently.
I wasn’t sure, so shook my head slowly. Bad idea. The room began to spin.
“Hey,” he pressed my forehead with his hand. “Take it easy. It’s OK.”
“I don’t remember much,” I managed to say, surprised by the weakness of my voice.
“That’s OK. That might be better.”
“You saved my life,” I said. He looked away, embarrassed, and began to pull back.
“No,” I cried out while pulling my hands out of the blanket and grabbing his arms. “Please don’t go.”
He chuckled. “Perry, I am not going anywhere.”
He straightened up and I let go. He kicked off his boots, walked around to his side of the bed and lay on top of the covers, rolling on his side to face me.
>
“I’m going to be here all night, remember?” he reassured me.
It was silly for him to be above the covers.
“Get under the covers then,” I said. He looked uneasy. I guess he felt it would be too inappropriate considering what just happened but I couldn’t explain how I just wanted him as near me as possible.
He hesitantly got under the covers, still fully clothed.
I rolled over on my side and stared at him. The room spun with the movement. Despite everything that had happened, and the things my mind didn’t want me dwelling on, I was too afraid to ask him for what I really needed.
“So what happened?” I asked instead.
“We should probably talk about this in-”
“I want to talk about it now.”
He nodded and sucked on his lip for a few beats.
“Do you remember being with those two guys?” he asked slowly.
“Yes. Bird had told me they may have been the guys who were attacked by the fox at-”
“I’m going to f*cking kill Bird,” Dex muttered angrily. “He shouldn’t have told you that.”
I was too sick to argue. “So I talked to them. I don’t remember what they said but there was something off.”
“Did they buy you a drink?” Dex asked.
“Yes. A Coors Light.”
“Was it already opened?”
I tried to think. “Maybe,” I said. “I felt sick soon after. They took me outside. I tried to tell you but I couldn’t. Then he…he attacked me.”
I started feeling a rush of emotions building up inside of me. It felt so cliché, to start crying while explaining this but I knew it would happen.
“He didn’t…rape me,” I said, trying to brave, trying not to blink. “But he would have if you hadn’t shown up. Or worse.”
Dex’s eyes were a bit moist too and dancing between extreme empathy and absolute anger.
“I am so sorry I wasn’t there earlier,” he said softly, his voice cracking. I inched closer to him and put my hand on his face. It was cold, his stubble rough.
“I’m OK, Dex,” I said.
“You’re not OK,” he murmured. “You were hurt.”
I remembered the clawing. I felt down at my stomach. There was a bandaged pad there. If I ever got out of Red Fox, I was going out as a mummy made of gauze.
“Oh jeez,” I said feeling sick. “How bad is it?”
“Rudy fixed you up,” Dex said. “You’re OK. He gave you some shots, some antibiotics to be safe. It just the wounds…I can’t even talk about without wanting to kill someone, I’m sorry.” He looked disgusted.
“What about them?”
He reached up for my hand which was still at his cheek and took it in his.
“I think he may have had a knife,” Dex said.
A knife. Or claws. But I didn’t want to mention that now. In fact, I didn’t want to know anymore. Except for one thing.
“Did you undress me?” I asked, squinting at him.
He turned a bit pink in the cheeks, a color I rarely saw on him.
“Yes,” he said wryly. “But I didn’t look, I swear.”
“Right,” I rolled my eyes. The fact that Dex saw me naked, and in a totally incompetent state, was just another mortifying thing to deal with. Yeah, I had bigger things to worry about but apparently I was still going to embarrass easily over something as vain as that. That was actually kind of a good sign.
“Hey,” he said, squeezing my hand again. “It’s all good. Don’t worry about it, kiddo. Just get some sleep now. We both need it.”
I smiled knowing he was right and dared to close my eyes again. The room slowly stopped swimming and I fell asleep holding his hand, my heart swollen with gratitude.