For over a hundred years, Arys had lived with this knowledge, wondering if he would ever know me. How many times since we’d met had he wanted to tell me, knowing I would never believe him? When did he know for certain that I was the one?
It was hard to swallow. I was shocked, in disbelief. Yet, I knew it paled in comparison to whatever Arys had been feeling these past few years, knowing what we were to each other while I’d lived in sweet ignorance. It must have been hell for him.
He watched in silence as I scrolled through page after page, all of them telling me the very same thing. Could this be why I was now marked for death? Maxwell had put it together before I’d killed him. How many others knew what Arys and I were?
I gestured to the unbelievable words on the screen. “You should have said something, Arys.”
“Don’t you think I wanted to? It killed me not to blurt it out the first night we met. Or, every night thereafter.”
“If I recall correctly, you accused me of purposely entrapping you. You bastard.” I crossed my arms and glared. Let’s see him explain that one away.
Arys watched me intently as he spoke, shrugging unapologetically. “It was so hard to accept. I’d lived all these years believing I would never know you. Once we spoke with Lena, and she basically confirmed what Alice had told me, I couldn’t deny it anymore.”
“Uh huh.” I regarded him thoughtfully. “Yet, you still waited almost an entire year after that to give me the journal. You could have told me yourself.”
“And, have you refuse to believe it? No way.” Arys’s lips curved into a playful grin. “You’re hotheaded, Alexa. You’re difficult to talk to sometimes, especially when it comes to your power and your well-being. Letting you read a hundred year old journal was more dramatic and left you no room for argument.”
Mischief shone in his eyes. All it took was the right look from him to ignite the flames of desire within me, and he damn well knew it. It got him what he wanted, more often than not, but not this time.
“So what’s your excuse for pushing me to be with Shaz, then, if you knew I was always meant to be yours? Are you going to blame that on me, too?”
Arys’s smile faded. Tearing his gaze from mine, he stared across the room as if seeing something I couldn’t. “I was afraid for you, of what this will do to you. I still am. This thing that unites us, it could destroy us. I thought if you chose him, if you and I were apart, maybe you’d be better off.”
The fact that he wouldn’t look at me made me want him to look at me that much more. What would I see in his eyes? A tremor of fear shook me. Arys wasn’t alone in his concerns. I knew his fears were justified. He thought his darkness would consume me, and judging by the past few weeks, it was starting to. Still, it wasn’t his fault.
“Well, according to pretty much every site on the good ol’ world wide web, we are part of each other, and there is a reason for that. We have a purpose. It has to be worth the risks.”
“A purpose that is unknown to us and means nothing if our power destroys you.” Arys’s tone was bitter. “You’re in danger, Alexa. I can see it happening, and I know it’s my fault. If I hadn’t bound you by blood, you wouldn’t be a slave to the bloodlust. It’s like I’ve infected you with parts of me you were never meant to have.”
His guilt-riddled energy felt abrasive and cold. It wasn’t like him, and I found it irritating. “If you hadn’t done it, Harley would have. Either that, or I’d be dead.”
Arys looked up sharply with a flash of anger in his eyes. “I know. I hate that it had to come to that. He wouldn’t have it any other way. He never could accept you as part of me.”
Nothing in Arys’s expression changed, but I knew how sensitive a subject this was for him. Harley had turned him, effectively ensuring Arys never died a human death and guaranteeing that he would live to see my lifetime. As twisted as that sordid little situation had been, Harley had played his part, to our benefit.
The fact that I’d killed him made Harley a touchy subject. Arys’s true feelings for his sire became evident the night he’d stormed into The Wicked Kiss and grabbed me by the throat while snarling about how my magic pu**y had seduced him.
Remembering it made my temper flare. It was long over and not worth dredging up. Arys loved me, I knew that. Yet that night was evidence of how, even that which bound us, could also divide us.
“Well, I am a part of you, Arys, and we are both part of something else. I just wish you had told me sooner. It would have saved us a lot of trouble.”
He closed the laptop and shoved it aside before reaching for me. I went gladly into his embrace.
“I never meant to keep you in the dark, Alexa. I thought I was protecting you, letting you choose your own path instead of allowing it to be chosen for you.”
I smiled at his wishful thinking; it was endearing. “Our fate was chosen for both of us. Now, let’s figure out what the hell we do with it before it kills us.”