Broken and Screwed 2 (BS #2)

It was another month before I finally called Ethan’s lawyers. They wanted verification of my name. I sent them a copy of my passport. It was another month after that when they told me they wouldn’t be able to give me Ethan’s inheritance. The spelling wasn’t correct. I didn’t understand it, not at first. His will and testament said all of his monetary assets would go to Alexandra Claira Connors.

I never blamed Jesse for any of my family problems. It took me a while to fully understand that Ethan had been sick. He wanted to die. I remembered the day of his graduation when he hugged me. It had been long and he wouldn’t let go of me. He’d been saying goodbye in his way. I never remembered it until recently. It woke me during the night, but Jesse was with me. He held me the rest of the night. We had a lot of those nights. I’d remember new information about that last year with Ethan. It would send me spinning. I’d cry. I’d tell Jesse about it and he’d tell me how much my brother loved me. It helped me accept that my brother was gone in a new way. It was different ever since I learned the truth about him. I would never accept that he killed himself. That wasn’t right, but I accepted that he was gone. It probably didn’t make sense to anyone else so I never tried to explain it. It was how I coped with it.

After another week trying to stay at the dorms, I eventually moved back in with Jesse. And because I was on better terms with Tiffany, I started going to the games with her and Kara. Chandra joined us as well, but she never took up with Cord again. He always had a new girl every few weeks. One night, when he was drunk, he confided to me that there was a girl from our school that he always loved. She never reciprocated his feelings, or at least that’s what he told me. I wondered if he knew for certain that she didn’t. He refused to tell me who it was, but she was the reason he never settled down.

I only knew it wasn’t Marissa.

She and Angie came a few times for basketball games. She had hit on Cord, but he never took up her invitation. I was thankful that she never brought Sarah, Jesse’s ex-girlfriend, along because she hadn’t reacted well when she heard about the exclusive status of my relationship with him. Marissa told me a few weeks later that Sarah was now dating a fraternity guy. She seemed happy. And surprisingly, Marissa and Angie even seemed friendly with each other. Justin stayed behind and the two planned girls’ weekend with me. They remained cautious around Beth and Hannah. Beth never talked to them and Hannah was the opposite. She got into people’s faces too much. Eventually they asked not to hang out with them. That was fine. Beth and Hannah told me they were fake. The dislike was reciprocated.

Jamie and Tiffany broke up at the end of the year. He cheated on her and she didn’t want an open relationship anymore. Hannah started taking care of her sister instead, and Tiffany fought back like Hannah had earlier in the year. The two bickered almost daily.

Jesse’s sister came to his championship game. She sat beside me this time instead of her father, who sat courtside with my parents. She was relieved when I told her I wouldn’t be going to the dinner afterwards. Then she confided that night had been too much for her. Unlike her mother, she liked normalcy and quiet moments. She stayed at the house a few weekends and I came to learn she really was a quiet girl. And she worshiped her brother. When she applied for Grant West the following year, I wasn’t surprised. I caught Jesse staring at her at random moments. It was like he was trying to figure her out, but maybe that was how Ethan stared at me too. Jesse never had a family, but he did with her now. He took her home one weekend and introduced her to Zala. His housekeeper instantly took her under her wing.

I told him one night that it was ironic. He had grown up as if he didn’t have a family, but now he did. I was the opposite. I had grown up with a family, but now I didn’t. He rolled his eyes and lifted me on top of him. Then he proceeded to undress me and show me how I was still his family, no matter what. And then one day I headed towards my old dorm room. My last final had been turned in and I had left a bag in my room. I needed to get it before I headed back to Jesse’s.

I heard in the distance, “Alexi, come back here.”

A little girl was running down the sidewalk towards me. A high-pitched giggle came from her as she pumped her arms harder. Her legs went too fast and fierce determination came over her next. A slender girl raced after her. They shared the same blonde curls, but when the little girl saw me, she braked suddenly. Her eyes got big and her cheeks puffed out. The mother hurried and caught up, lifting the girl in her arms. Fat arms and chubby legs wrapped around her, but she twisted back to me. Her eyes didn’t look away. Her thumb slipped up and popped in her mouth. Her other hand caught hold of some of her curls and she hung there. She pulled on her hair as she continued sucking her thumb, all while she never looked away from me.

I couldn’t either.

I felt the breath knocked out of me. Someone took a sledgehammer to my chest. I was batting practice.