chapter 15
After sitting her down with a cookie and cup of tea, we had to call Izzie’s parents to come pick her up. She needed more help than we could give her. We weren’t quite sure what to tell her parents, so we just said she’d been acting depressed lately—which was true. Then Leona gave Izzie’s mother the name of a reputable hairstylist.
“I feel sick,” I said as Leona and I sat on my couch, still in shock over the entire situation. “If I’d of known she would—”
“There was no way we could have. She’s been keeping secrets, and obviously this was how they manifested.” Leona closed her eyes and leaned her head back into the chenille sofa. “I just wish I knew what happened with Blaze.”
My skin felt pasty and pale as I rubbed my arms with my hands. I was so confused, and I didn’t know who to turn to. I thought about talking to my parents because they were brilliant and would certainly understand, but they’d be out of town for at least another day. We were on our own. I looked sideways at Leona.
“I think we should investigate. Maybe Blaze did something to her, and that’s why she told him about us.”
Leona met my stare. “I’ll kill him.”
“Second that.”
She blew air up to push her bangs off her forehead. “Let’s see,” she said, squinting her eyes as she thought. “We can debrief Kira and see if she has any extra info. Same with the rest of the squad. Although, I think it would have come to light by now. I’m not sure where we should start.”
And oddly enough, Joel popped into my head. How he’d told me his secret about his family life last night. How Kira and I were the only two who knew. “I know who she would have talked to.” I sat up, certain of our next move.
“Who?”
“Her ex-boyfriend.”
Leona blinked quickly and then nodded. “You’re absolutely right. She’d totally have confided in him if they were still talking. Do you think they are?”
“Only one way to find out.”
“Great. Should I find his number?” She started to work her phone out of her pocket when I reached out to stop her.
“Nope. We’ve got to do this in person. It’s way too personal for a call. We should head over to the Community College.”
Leona seemed to debate it, but then put her phone away and stood up. “Let’s go,” she said. “We’re going on a college tour.”
Washington Community College was set back in a neighborhood of small houses in midtown. I found it odd that it didn’t have a big campus, but it did have a grassy knoll where students played Hacky Sack instead of going to class.
“How are we going to find him?” I asked Leona as we made our way toward campus. The parking lot was full as we crossed the pavement.
“Just look for the tall goofy looking guy with red hair.”
I looked sideways at her, and she smiled. Sam wasn’t bad looking. He just seemed a bit awkward and freckled. Perfect for Izzie.
“Kidding,” Leona said. “I’m going to pretend to be his sister and ask for his schedule at the registrar’s office.”
“Brilliant.”
As I hobbled on my crutches—the ends of them continually catching on the uneven pavement—I got a few stares, mostly looks of curiosity. As I sat in the sterile blue waiting room in the front office, a guy came in and sat next me, asking my major (total cliché). Just to throw him off, I told him forensic science and pottery.
“Thank you,” Leona said to the receptionist and headed back my way. She gave the guy next to me an annoyed glance and then waved me toward the door.
“You got it?” I asked.
“Yep. Told them our grandmother died.”
“Leona!”
“She didn’t really die! Relax.”
I didn’t like even joking about people dying. It was tragic and sad.
Leona kept a slow pace next to me as we walked to the arts building. Apparently, Sam was taking Acting 101. Which was sort of cool. Thespians are very interesting people. When we entered the huge, stone building, Sam was onstage with a couple of other students, standing around waiting. As we paused in the double doors of the auditorium, a girl with a short blond bob walked over to Sam and put her arms around him from behind. Leona and I collectively gasped.
We watched in horror as Sam turned and kissed the girl on the nose, both giggling at each other. “He’s moved on,” I said, completely brokenhearted. “Do you think Izzie knows?”
“I hope not,” Leona murmured, walking forward down the red-carpeted aisle. When she got closer to the stage, she whistled loudly, the sound echoing through the room.
Everyone turned to look, and after a minute, Sam recognized us. He slowly detangled himself from the blonde and then held up his finger to the group, telling them he’d be right back. Then he hopped off the stage and jogged over to us.
“Hey,” he said, pushing his hands into his pockets. “What are you doing here? He looked behind us, his freckled nose was scrunched in worry. “Is Izzie with you?”
“No,” Leona said, putting her hand on her jean-covered hip. “She’s currently at her doctor’s, most likely getting medication for depression. Would you—or possibly your new girlfriend—know why?”
“Oh, my God. Is she okay?”
“She will be,” Leona said.
Sam let out a sigh of relief. “I was worried something like this would happen.”
My ears perked up. “What do you know? She’s been acting really off lately.”
Sam looked up, and his brown eyes met mine. He looked guilty, sad. “She asked me to stop seeing Jen,” he motioned to the stage. “She said she didn’t want to keep meeting up if I had a new girlfriend.”
“Shut the front door!” I blurted out, my pulse racing. “What do you mean ‘meeting up’?” Leona shifted on her sneakers next to me.
He shook his head. “Look, I told Iz that I didn’t want a serious relationship anymore. She said it was cool with her. But when she got all clingy again, I tried to put a stop to it. I swear.”
I was stunned. In fact, I thought I might cry. “Are you telling us that you and Izzie are still … sleeping together?”
He stared at me. “Well, yeah. She wanted to keep seeing each other even though I told her I didn’t want anything serious. She said she was fine with just hooking up.”
“Because she loves you, you a*shole!” Leona yelled, drawing the attention of the entire room. Oh, no. I was definitely going to cry.
We knew this syndrome well; I couldn’t believe we hadn’t seen the signs. It was a common problem among our clients. They’d find out that their boyfriends were cheating, be devastated, and then spend the next few months secretly hooking up with them until they finally hit rock bottom and moved on. We called it clinger syndrome. It was an epidemic.
“Wait,” I said. “That note—it was to you?”
“Note?”
“To meet at the 7-Eleven?”
He hitched in a breath. “Oh. Yeah, I’d pick her up there sometimes, and we’d go driving. Maybe park somewhere.”
I looked away, imagining all the horrible ways that Izzie had disrespected herself to hold on to her ex. I didn’t want him to continue.
“Don’t you ever touch her again,” Leona growled, the sound in her voice mirroring how I felt. “You took advantage of her.”
“I disagree,” he shot back quickly.
“Samuel?” his girlfriend called from the stage. “We’re ready to start, hon.”
I turned to face him, moving one unsteady crutch forward. “You destroyed her,” I whispered to him, my eyes glassing over with tears. “You should be ashamed of yourself.”
“Look,” Sam said, “I’m sorry that’s she hurting. I really do care about her.” He paused. “But I have to get back to class, okay?”
Leona shook her head. “Back to class? Of course, Samuel. We wouldn’t want to keep you waiting.” She rolled her arm as if she were welcoming him to a fancy ball, and he backed away slowly, concern in his eyes.
“Tell her that I hope she’s okay.”
“Don’t think so,” Leona answered, reaching over to put her hand on my arm as we turned to leave. We were almost to the door when Leona looked back. “Oh, and Jen?” she shouted. The blonde looked over, mildly curious. “He’s cheating on you.”
I gasped, but Leona smiled deviously and led us out the door.
When Leona dropped me off in front of my house, I was still shaken. Izzie wasn’t the one who had turned us over to the football team, but what she was going through was even worse. And what made it nearly unbearable was the fact that none of us knew.
Too depressed for TV, I went into my room to check my e-mail. I was dying without my phone, but every time I called Aiden, there was no answer. And he wasn’t responding to my messages or e-mails. I almost thought he was doing it on purpose.
I sat at my desk and flipped on my monitor, quickly signing in to my personal account. I hoped today wasn’t filled with hate mail. I was already sad enough.
Oh. One from Joel. He was always so cute about messaging. It showed how much he was thinking about me. Unlike Aiden who was holding my phone hostage.
I clicked on the message, but about one line in, I started to perspire. When I finished, I read Joel’s e-mail again. He’d come straight out and asked me to be his girlfriend. I … I was caught a bit off guard by that.
With a shaky finger, I hit the reply button. But when it came up, I just stared at the screen. I didn’t know how to answer. I placed my elbows on the desk and rested my chin in my hands as I contemplated.
First, Kira would be devastated. No matter what Joel said about her friendship with him, this was against girl code. It definitely was. Then, of course, there was the matter of Aiden. I still felt guilty about the not-forgiving-him comment.
Joel. When I thought of him I had to smile. He was funny, cute, charming. He was everything I wanted and needed in a boyfriend, and yet something was holding me back. I couldn’t even bring myself to kiss him.
There had to be a reason. I used to think it was Kira, but now I wasn’t so sure. What if there was a tragic flaw in our relationship, but I couldn’t see it? I hadn’t exactly been observant lately. I had missed Izzie’s complete meltdown. Or I could be scared of getting hurt. Maybe I was jaded and would end up alone with fifty cats!
With a swift movement, I turned off the monitor without answering. I didn’t know what to say, and I was totally freaking myself out. Instead, I reached for my house phone and dialed quickly.
It rang once. Twice. “Hello?” Aiden’s voice was raspy, as if he’d been napping.
At first, I couldn’t talk. Just the sound of his voice that was so clearly still in bed made my heart race. I took a steadying breath before continuing. “It’s Tessa.” My voice small.
“Morning, baby.”
“Uh, yeah. You haven’t been answering.” I twisted a dark strand of hair around my finger as I rested back in my wood chair.
“Haven’t been here.” There was the sound of sheets rustling.
“Where have you been?”
He was quiet for a second. “You’re calling about your phone, right?” he asked. “You left it in my car. Damn thing kept ringing, too. Had to shut it off.”
“You could have brought it back to me.”
He laughed. “Yeah. I could have.”
We were quiet for a second, and then he moaned, and it sounded like his stretch. The one where his long muscular body would extended to its full height, his T-shirt lifting just enough to give a glimpse of his impressive abs. I sighed.
“By the way,” he added, “tell Joel that he should really stop calling so much. He’s acting like a stalker.”
“Aiden.”
“Just trying to help you out, Tess.”
“Don’t need that sort of help.” When he didn’t answer, I started to feel bad. He was still being really casual and cool, but I knew Aiden. If he wasn’t acting smooth and confident, his mind was racing. I was ruining him.
“I’m really sorry,” I whispered.
“It’s just a few phone calls.”
“Not about that.” I lowered my eyes and stared at my hands, naked of polish. “About everything.”
He was quiet. It seemed forever that we sat there, listening to each other breathe. Finally he said, “I’ll overnight your phone to you, okay?”
The coldness of the post office hit me hard. In a way, maybe I wanted him to drop it off. Maybe I wanted him to talk to me. Maybe I wanted him to explain why I couldn’t just say yes to Joel. But in the end, I just thanked him and hung up.
I was immediately struck with loneliness.
But I barely had time to dwell before my doorbell rang. I craned my neck to look out my bedroom door, my eyebrows pulled together. Who could that be? I grabbed my crutches and steadied myself before working my way into the kitchen toward the front door.
When I opened it, I nearly lost my balance and had to grab onto the wall for support. Unexpected drama.
“Hey, Prez.”
“Chloe? What the hay are you doing here?” She looked great. Her dark makeup had been replaced with light-pink gloss and bronzer. Her normally pin-straight hair was curled at the ends, making it look softer. Healthier. I looked down at my yoga pants and slippers and suddenly felt self-conscious.
“Can I come in?” she asked. And for once, she didn’t sound snotty.
I debated. Could this be a trick? Sigh. I couldn’t very well let her stand in my doorway, so I hopped out of the way and let her in.
I motioned toward the kitchen table and then shut the door before crutching over to sit down. “What do you want to talk about?” I asked. I folded my hands in my lap, feeling them get cold with anxiety. Being alone with her like this made me uncomfortable. She and I had a sorted past.
“I’m sorry about Izzie.” She looked suddenly serious. “Leona told me what happened, and I feel terrible. I sent her some flowers.”
“You did?”
She shrugged. “I know what’s it like to have a guy mess with you. At East Washington I dated someone for close to six months, only to find out that half of the time he’d been seeing his ex. It’s why I wanted to be a part of SOS. Getting cheated on is something that can change a person, you know?”
I did know. I’d been investigating it for three years. But I couldn’t respond. Was Chloe confiding in me? Was she … being nice? It put me on edge.
“And when I heard about Izzie, I remembered what it was like to feel so alone. So desperate. I thought the flowers might cheer her up a bit.” She laughed to herself, the skin around her brown eyes crinkling. “God, I’m starting to sound like you.”
“Why are you here, Chloe?” For the first time, I realized that I wasn’t all that mad at her anymore. I mean, no, we weren’t going to be best friends, but I didn’t feel the familiar grudge. Maybe it was her admission. Maybe it was because I’d watched Izzie dissolve in front of me. Or maybe I was just lonely.
Chloe lowered her head, biting down on the corner of her plump lip. “I have to tell you something. Something I heard.”
I blinked quickly, straightening my posture. “Uh-oh. That doesn’t sound good.” She looked up to meet my eyes.
“It’s not. Believe it or not, I don’t hate you, Tessa. In fact, I sort of admire you in a weird sort of way. Which makes what I have to say really difficult.”
I felt like I’d been transported to a different universe. One where Chloe wasn’t a vengeful shrew. But I didn’t think she was lying. I could usually tell when someone wasn’t telling the truth. “Spill.”
She spread her fingers across the table and took a breath. “Okay, well in physics class there was some chatter about the SOS. Word is the football team was sent the actual SOS forms with your names attached. Complete inside job.”
“Who’d you hear this from?”
“Blaze Harmon himself.”
Could it be possible that Chloe had gotten the information before us? She was not only a stellar cheerleader but a tush-kicking spy, too?
“Who sent it?” I asked.
Chloe pressed her lips together. “He wouldn’t give me the name, but he did say it had to do with Smitten Kitten. And I think I figured it out.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Look, if you don’t have actual proof. Then—”
“It’s Aiden.”
“What?” My heart stopped. How dare she make that kind of accusation! And how dare she talk about Aiden to me of all people.
“I know you don’t want to believe it, Tessa. But I thought I’d tell you before I went to the squad about it. He’s a mess. And whether you can see it or not, he’ll do anything to get back at you. Including ruining your reputation. Did you know that he’s leaving WSU?”
A small gasp caught in my throat.
“Found out from his roommate while I was investigating. He was in town the day you were caught. And he was at Rick’s party the other night. Don’t you think it’s odd that he’s popping up everywhere, always there when you need him?”
“How do you know where he is all the time?” She was right. I didn’t want to believe it. I’d just gotten off the phone with him. I … I …
“He’s a little hard to miss, Tessa. Six two and gorgeous doesn’t usually avoid my line of vision. Look, I’m sorry that I’m telling you this. And I’m sorry that I screwed things up between the two of you.”
“I have to talk to him,” I murmured, looking around the room and feeling confused. Would Aiden really do this? No. No, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t.
“I can’t keep this from the squad,” she said. “But if you want to be the one to tell them …”
I nodded absently, tears forming in my eyes. Chloe got up, staring at me compassionately. I’d been wrong about so many things. Maybe I was wrong about her, too.
“I’ll see you later,” she said quietly, but as she went to pass me, she paused. Then, confirming that she was indeed from another universe, she bent down to hug me awkwardly. “I’m sorry.”
I patted her arm in acknowledgment and waited at the table until she was gone. When I heard the door click shut … I sobbed. Fine. I’d admit it: I was still in love with Aiden. I missed him more than I could stand. I didn’t want to go on without him.
But this—this was it. Worse than Mary. Worse than anything any cheater had ever done. I’d spent so long trying to get myself together, and yet I was sabotaging myself at every turn.
Joel cared about me—the real me. And I’d been unfair to him. I’d used Kira as the excuse when, really, I was waiting for Aiden. For him to figure out a way to win me back. But now that was gone. He was gone.
I sniffled and then shook my head to clear it. I knew what I had to do. Grabbing my crutches, I went to my room and flopped down at my desk, turning on my computer. I signed into my e-mail and opened Joel’s message, reading it once more.
I felt my muscles tense, determination burning my skin. Then I hit reply.
“Yes. I’ll be your girlfriend,” I wrote.
Then I hit send.
“Aiden?” Leona screamed into the phone. “I was right from the beginning?”
I leaned back into my sofa, my leg resting on the coffee table. “I guess you were. Chloe said she got the lead from Blaze and investigated it.”
“She’s good.”
“Yeah. Did you know that Aiden was dropping out of WSU?”
“Really? Why?”
“Don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.” I stared blankly ahead, shutting off all of my feelings so that I could do what needed to be done.
“He was acting weird at Rick’s party,” she said. “Total buddy-buddy toward Blaze at first. Maybe he recognized me, and that was why he started acting tough. I wonder what he would have said if I wasn’t there.”
“I have no idea.”
We were quiet for a long moment. “Do you want me to confront him?” Leona asked gently.
“No. It should be me. This is all my fault anyway.”
“It is not. How could you—” She stopped. “Ugh. It’s my other line. Chris again.”
Huh. “Why is he calling?”
“Probably because I left him a voice mail, calling him an ignoramus. He’s probably trying to find out what it means.”
I laughed. “Why are you leaving messages like that?”
“I don’t know.” She sighed. “I saw him at Sid’s late last night, and he wouldn’t even acknowledge me. So I threw my iced tea at him and walked out. Sid is going to be vicious next time.”
“Yikes.”
“Well, I should answer,” she said. “Maybe he’ll apologize.”
“Good luck.” With that we hung up, and I dropped the phone to my side, resting my head against the back pillow. Leona was a good friend.
The phone rang again, startling me, and I wondered if Chris hadn’t exactly apologized.
“You okay?” I said in greeting.
“I’m feeling pretty great now that I just got your e-mail.”
“Joel!” I was flooded with relief. Just hearing his voice set me at ease, and I couldn’t help but smile. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I teased.
“Really? See, there’s this girl …”
I laughed. He was so squeezy and adorable.
“And I asked her out—by e-mail even—and she—”
“By e-mail? That’s kind of weird.”
“Right? But she said yes anyway. I think she must be in love with me or something.”
I bit down on my lip, practically hugging myself. “Or something.”
“Anyways, I just had to tell someone. Wait until you meet her. She’s amazing.”
“How amazing?”
“Beautiful, funny. Very shiny and sparkly.”
“I do love sparkles.”
“Oh, you’ll like her,” he said. “I know I do.” He ended it with a very serious tone, and all at once, I was desperate to see him. I couldn’t stand the thought of being alone anymore.
“Do you want to come over for a little bit?” I asked.
He paused. “Yes.” And he hung up. I laughed and put down the phone, slowly getting up from the couch and grabbing my crutches.
I felt better already. I was moving on, and, yes, I still needed to confront Aiden, but there was nothing he could say now to make me forgive him. Aiden was my past, my sad, heartbroken past.
Joel was my future.
SOS
INTENT TO INVESTIGATE
CASE: 069
CLIENT: Hillary Hamm
SUBJECT: Midas Murdock
This is the SOS official notice of intent to investigate Midas Murdock. The client has accused Mr. Murdock of sexting with another girl while on a date with her. Ms. Hamm witnessed (looking over his shoulder) a suspicious text. But by the time she grabbed his phone, all of the messages were deleted. She has not been able to gain access to said phone since.
Ms. Hamm believes the accomplice is the “slutty new girl” in his writing class.
If you wish to cancel this investigation, please text a stop-work order to 555-0101. Stop orders must be placed within 24 hours of this written notification.
Thank you for thinking of SOS, and we truly hope that our investigation ends with positive results. Have a great day.
Keep smiling,
SOS : )
SOS
Text: 555-0101 * Exposing Cheaters for Over Three Years