Know when to fold ’em
A coach with true commitment to the vision can light you up even when he’s fictional! My wife, Kathy, was working for a large organization whose leader was taking hands-off to a negative extreme. It was no-hands-at-all, no head, no heart, no leadership, no direction, and no vision. Kathy hadn’t figured out exactly what felt so wrong at work each day, but she knew she didn’t like it.
Then one afternoon she and I went to a movie called Any Given Sunday with Al Pacino playing the head football coach of a team in disarray. In one brilliantly dramatic scene, Pacino calls his team together in the locker room and allows himself to burst like a fountain of passion and fire. He pours his heart out on the subject of team and the beauty of all-for-one and one-for-all.
In the movie, Pacino’s team—like Kathy’s team at work—had become demoralized. There were jealousies, politics, and drama going on all day instead of a single unified mission.
“We’re in hell!” Pacino yelled to his team in the locker room before the final game of the season. “Either we heal as a team or we crumble. But we can heal. We can fight our way back into the light…we can climb out of hell one inch at a time. What will it be? Look into the eyes of the person next to you. Either we heal now—as a team—or we will die as individuals.”
Kathy was in tears. She knew right then and there what was missing in the company she worked for. And she knew the missing leader wasn’t just going to appear. There was no Al Pacino to pull them all back into a team.
When she went to work the following Monday, she put in her two-week notice and hit the pavement looking for other work. The next company she worked for had true leadership at the top and was a joy to work for. And had it not been for Pacino in Any Given Sunday she may never have seen the higher vision.
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The main ingredient in stardom is the rest of the team.
—John Wooden
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If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right
The hands-off coach knows to link mastery to enjoyment. There’s always a component of greater enjoyment when people get good at what they do. Notice when you watch a golf match and you see a golfer enjoying the process. A spring in his step, a twinkle in his eye. Playing to win.
The person with fear is always playing not to lose
Great coaching takes the fear out of the workplace. That’s one of the vital things the legendary business efficiency guru Dr. W. Edwards Deming preached to the companies he transformed: Whatever you’ve got going on, you must take the fear out of the system, because that will always sabotage the system.
Should you fire someone for being afraid? Or for being unhappy? Wow. That sounds like the ultimate cruelty. They are already unhappy and now you’re going to fire them?
It reminds me of British philosopher Colin Wilson’s observation that the fastest, most efficient way to change the mental state of a depressed person is to throw him down a flight of stairs. Depression wouldn’t be there anymore. It would certainly be replaced by something else.
Although Wilson was being deliberately absurd and insensitive, his point was well-taken.
Unhappy people don’t make as much money as happy people (when everything else is equal). They don’t produce or perform as well in the workplace, either. So, yes, it is your role as coach to address the issue and solve it.
Many corporate cultures almost guarantee widespread unhappiness by being conditioned to be fearful of criticism “from above.” Soon everyone is living in paranoia, hoping nothing “goes wrong” today.
The hands-off manager cultivates a culture of NO FEAR. Teammates can be bold and happy. They can make mistakes and “fail forward.”
A woman named Stella who owned a home design business recently sat down with me for some coaching. She wanted to know what to do about Rosie, one of her veteran employees, who came to work angry every day.
“Every day?” I asked. “She comes in angry every day?”
“Every day.”
“Why does she still work for you?” I asked.
Stella looked stunned. She was taken aback by my question. Which was the reaction I was hoping for.
I pressed her further. “Does her anger affect your other employees?” I asked.
“Yes, of course. It makes them very uncomfortable.”
“Every day?”
“Just about, yes.”
“And what about you? Does her anger—the anger she brings into work—does it infect or affect your own mental well-being?”
“All the time. That’s why I called you.”
“So let’s look at it logically,” I said. “Business—when it succeeds—is logical. When it fails, it’s emotional.”
“Okay,” she said.
“What if this person—this Rosie—came into work and sprayed an aerosol can of skunk mist throughout your showroom and offices every day. What would you do?”
“I’d tell her to stop. And if she did it again, I’d dismiss her.”