Shelton burrowed clear to the ground but there was no baby frozen in the snow. He dropped to his knees and looked up at the open window. He was flooded with relief and might have wept with joy, except the baby was still gone and he had no idea where. He left the shovel in the snow and went inside.
For a moment he considered calling Uncle Rick. Rick was on a Florida vacation and had asked not be bothered, but this might be a situation he’d want to weigh in on. Missing babies could be a problem for all involved, but on the other hand Rick had left Shelton in charge. His only instructions had been not to fuck anything up, and now that he had it didn’t seem in his best interest to report it directly.
Shelton needed something to puff on, but there was no meth left in the house because he’d cooked the last and smoked it with Kayla. Kayla didn’t weigh but ninety pounds, but the girl could smoke shit.
It always seemed Shelton ran out of meth at the worst possible time. He needed desperately to focus and began to panic at the prospect of attempting to do so while sober, but then remembered the tank of nitrous oxide he’d stashed in the closet, in case of emergency.
Well, if this wasn’t an emergency then Shelton didn’t know what was. And maybe a little nip of nitrous would be the perfect change of pace. There was more to life than methamphetamines and in truth it would probably do him some good to lay off the pipe for a bit, lest he begin to exhibit signs of addictive behavior.
He brought out the tank and stood it on the living room floor. He had a pack of party balloons to go with it and fished out a red one first. He turned the nozzle on the tank and savored the satisfying hiss as the gas discharged.
The beauty of nitrous was that it wouldn’t show up on a standard piss test. At least Shelton didn’t think it would. Obviously the methamphetamines would be there in full parade, along with the pot and the alcohol and the cocaine, but what good did it do anybody to dwell on such things? His PO could call him up at any moment and have him drive over to the courthouse to piss. That’s just the way the legal system was, unorganized and flat impossible to predict. It wasn’t something you could let get in the way of living your life.
He sucked down the first balloon and held the gas in for a bit before he breathed out. Then he filled another balloon. He swallowed the second and leaned back on the couch and felt his head go wha-wha-wha.
It was good to unwind every now and again, Shelton thought. A good snort of nitrous was like having somebody take a scrub brush to your brain, and he’d be damned if the world didn’t sparkle for a moment there on the couch.
He did another balloon and then went into the kitchen and poured himself some vodka, but only to accent the gas. He wasn’t going to get drunk, not at a time like this. All Shelton needed was a little warmer.
He picked up General Winthrop, the Maine coon cat, and promised himself that when the general died he would not leave his body in an upstairs bedroom to rot. He petted the cat and had his drink.
“You and me, Winthrop,” he said. “We will walk through this world together.”
The general let out a sigh and Shelton stroked his mane.
“Good boy,” he said.
Shelton had begun to think somebody had strolled right into the farmhouse and stolen Jenna from her bassinet while he and Kayla lay there sleeping. Such a trespass was brazen and bold, it was half crazy, but it might be the only logical explanation for the baby’s disappearance. It was either that or it had sprouted wings and flown away.
What Shelton needed to do, and he was ashamed he hadn’t thought of it right off, was put up a reward for Jenna’s safe return. Never mind that he didn’t have the money. He could square that later with some help from Uncle Rick.
His uncle had half a dozen scumbags at his disposal. Career petty criminals and general dolts who’d been selling his pot and blow since high school. Of those slack-assed losers, Krebs was the most reliable and the first one Shelton phoned.
“We got a situation,” he said.
“What’s this we?” said Krebs. “You got a mouse in your pocket?”
“There’s a baby gone missing,” he said. “And it needs to be found. Pronto, Tonto.”
“What baby?” said Krebs.
“It’s a friend of the family.”
“Whose is it?”
“Well, that don’t matter now, does it?” said Shelton. “There’s a baby gone missing and I need you to search out these hills and find it. It’s what Rick wants, too.”
“What happened to it?”
“It got took.”
“By who?”
“We don’t know.”
“Where are we supposed to look?”
“Get on your sled,” he said. “Drive up and down Grain Road and then head west. If you don’t find her, circle back and do it again. That’s what I’m going to do.”
“I feel like there’s not a lot of information to go on here,” said Krebs.
“Maybe not,” Shelton said. “But it’s what we got.”
“I’d feel better if we called Rick.”
“I just talked to Uncle Rick. Uncle Rick don’t want to be bothered any more on this. Uncle Rick said there’s five thousand dollars for whoever finds this baby.”
“He put out a reward?”
“Five large. Cash.”