Pieces of Truth

Chapter 25

The Past

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Dear Josh,

So my Dad is sending me to Morewell. I think he is worried I’m going to try and find Samuel myself, even though I haven’t heard from him in months. I haven’t seen him since that night I told you about, when my Dad busted in on us. It still burns me so bad Josh. Samuel just stood there and did nothing while we were pulled apart. I understand it was because of our safety, and he was worried about what my Dad would do, but he did nothing. And since then, not a word, no contact, nothing! Who does that? Who asks a girl to get married and then doesn’t fight for it? He told me to wait for him, but I don’t even know where he is or what he is doing. It’s been a total blackout and I feel completely f*cked-up.

You know, I thought he was perfect for me. He made me smile and laugh and everything we talked about just felt right, but now, I don’t even know if anything we shared was real. Why hasn’t he picked up the phone? A note, a text, something! But no, nothing...just silence. Just this massive engagement ring that will have me forever wondering what could have been. I don’t know if I should feel sad or angry. I don’t know if something has happened to him or if he just gave up. I don’t know anything and I kind of hate him for it. Wait, I don’t hate him...I...I am still so worried and confused.

Maybe Samuel didn’t love me the way I thought he did. A small part of me did see us as Romeo and Juliet and I know that’s a silly notion, but I believed it, and because I believed it, I was devastated when he didn’t fight for us to be together.

Oh Josh.

I wanted him to be ruthless,

I wanted him to be fearless,

I wanted him to take the biggest risk possible for me and be a hero.

I would have run away with him, had he only asked.

But it’s been months and it’s nothing but silence. The guy I want to marry, would have done all that and more, and maybe that is selfish of me to say, but it’s how I feel right now. He could have been under handed and manipulative and I would have forgiven him for it if it meant we could be together. I can admit that to you without judgment.

You know, deep down I really believed if my Dad saw how happy Samuel made me and how much we loved each other, he would eventually accept it. I know my Dad loves me and wants me to be happy, and I really think if push came to shove, he’d let me have Samuel. Am I naive to think that? Do you really think my Dad would have hurt him?

Oh and to top off this crap-tastic time in my life, I’ve lost my favorite charcoal drawing of my mum. I went looking for it the other day. I needed her around me, and I always liked that drawing, but I couldn’t find it. I swear I must be losing my mind if I can’t even remember where I put the things I love the most.

Thank goodness I can pour out all my emotions onto paper and know that you will listen to me. I’m so lucky to have you Josh, you’ve always been different. You always know what to say. I’m happy that we’ll finally be reunited. I’ve missed seeing you every day, and how close we used to be. It will be nice to have your warm comforting arms around me again. It’s the only thing I’m looking forward to when I move.

So tell me more about McLaren University. What are the people like? How is the tequila there? Free flowing I hope. You know I’m destined for a few messy nights when I arrive.

Anyway, I’ll be speaking to you before you get this letter I’m sure.

Thanks so much for letting me vent.

See you soon.

Yours,

Norah.