Twenty-Two
IT WAS THE LAST BIBLE STUDY OF THE SUMMER FOR BETTY KELLER and her friends, and Bailey wondered how she would’ve gotten through the weeks without this place of grounding and growing and learning. Most of all learning. Already the women had their Starbucks drinks and they were seated around Betty’s living room.
One of the things Bailey loved about this group of friends was that they wasted no time getting to the heart of their struggles, the reasons that had brought them together for a study like this in the first place. Sara wore her red shoes — same as always — Marie had a new pair of cropped pants, and Barbara was tanned from a brief trip to Florida over the past week to see her daughter. But they spent only a minute or so on those details before they opened their Bibles and turned to Matthew chapter six.
“We always like to close our summer by reading about forgiveness,” Betty took the lead. “Forgiveness can be the one thing that truly holds us back in our Christian walk.”
Bailey stared at the words in her Bible. If Betty hadn’t said that she would’ve thought maybe the woman had chosen this section of Scripture for Bailey alone. For a moment she remembered what had happened a few days ago after her Bible study with the cast of Hairspray. A few more dancers had joined the group over the last five weeks, and Bailey thought they were making progress. Gerald and the others could see that Bailey wasn’t out to attack them with Bible verses, and in fact they’d come to appreciate the time they shared together.
The problem was the rest of the cast, and long before this last meeting Bailey could sense the dissension between her and them. It came as no real surprise when Francesca showed up at the end of Bailey’s Bible study a few days ago. She waited until it was over so they could talk, and she made herself clear. “You need to stop this … this Bible thing you’re doing.” Her tone wasn’t angry, but it left no room for debate. “Whatever you’re doing here … it’s messing with the unity on my cast.” She stopped and waved her hand toward the place where Bailey and Gerald and the others had been sitting. “At first I thought it would be fine … a little discussion time or whatever … something to honor Chrissy’s memory.” She stared straight at Bailey. “But not anymore. If you want to keep your spot with the Hairspray family, this is your last meeting.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Bailey didn’t know what else to say. Ever since then she’d been angry with herself and angry with Francesca, frustrated at the other cast members who’d clearly gone to her and complained — even when they didn’t know the first thing about what was discussed at the meeting.
That wasn’t the only thing bothering Bailey. She’d updated her Facebook page over the weekend and there she had seen what she expected to see weeks ago. But that didn’t make the realization any easier to take. Cody was in a relationship with Cheyenne. His Facebook status said so, and the photos from his team’s first win showed one with Cody and Chey, their arms around each other, surrounded by celebrating football players.
The women were still catching up, talking amongst themselves about the struggles they’d faced that week. Bailey wanted to focus on what they were saying, but she couldn’t stop thinking about Cody. It wasn’t right that Cheyenne was sharing his football journey with him. She was the one with a lifetime of football knowledge. Her dad was the NFL coach, after all. If Cody had handled this right, Bailey would’ve been the one beside him in the picture, sharing with him his team’s first win. She could’ve taken a weekend off for that, right?
Since then Bailey had caught herself checking his Facebook almost obsessively — every few hours. Every time she felt the unforgiveness in her heart, the way that the distance between them could have all been avoided if only Cody would’ve talked to her, if he would’ve believed her when she said she still cared, still wanted to talk to him.
“Bailey?” Barbara was looking at her. “Did you hear Betty?”
“I’m sorry.” Great, she told herself. The trouble with the cast … Cody’s new relationship. And now the women would think she didn’t want to be here for their Bible study. She stared at her open Bible again and back at Betty. “Can you repeat it?”
“Definitely, honey.” Betty’s patience knew no boundaries as far as Bailey could tell. “We’ve already read the first part of Matthew six. It’s your turn, if you’d read verses fourteen to fifteen.”
“Yes, ma’am. Sorry.” Bailey focused, silently asking God to speak to her heart as she read. “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
The words hit Bailey like a sack of bricks, straight in her gut. Whatever she’d been holding against many of her castmates or Francesca Tilly — or even Cody — she absolutely had to let it go. She hung her head, her eyes running over the words one more time.
“This is always a hard part of the Bible for me,” Sara sighed. “Like God wrote it just for me.”
“I feel that way too.” Barbara’s voice was soft. “I especially like how that part … the part Bailey just read … comes after the plea in the prayer where we are to ask God to deliver us from temptation.”
“Exactly.” Irma nodded, thoughtful. “I always figured that was because our greatest temptation wouldn’t be the big guns on the sin list — murder and theft and the rest. But something so simple we might overlook it. The temptation to hold a grudge.”
“The call to forgive.” Betty looked at Bailey. “What do you think, sweetie?”
A sad laugh sounded deep inside her. “I think Irma’s right.” She had learned not to hide things from these women. They had too much wisdom, too much to offer if she wanted to come out of this season in her life closer to God. “I’ve got a lot of forgiving to do.”
“Tell us about your Bible study.” Barbara crossed her legs and set her coffee down on the table beside her. “Is it still a struggle with the cast?”
Shame came over Bailey and she wished with all she had that she’d answered Francesca differently. She could’ve asked to move the Bible study to a local coffee shop, or to make it less about the cast and more of a talk open to anyone who wanted to come. But she had simply given up, and over the next ten minutes she explained the situation to the women.
“I’m sorry.” Betty knew more than the others how much the Bible study meant to Bailey, and how she had wanted so badly to obey God by having the meeting in the first place. “You made a difference with your cast, even if you never get together with them again.”
“But I’m mad at myself too. I gave up too easily.”
Sara smiled. “Life can be hard on people who want to make a difference for God.”
“It’s true.” Irma leaned forward. “I remember once when I was newly married seeing a bald eagle soaring overhead during a drive with my husband. For a while I watched it, soaring and dipping, riding the currents higher toward the heavens. But then out of nowhere came a couple of smallish crows. Rather than do their own thing, the crows caught up to the eagle and began dive-bombing it, flying at its wings and talons, poking at it and irritating it.”
Bailey let the picture play out in her mind. “I’ve seen that before. Out at Lake Monroe in Bloomington where I grew up. The eagle seemed unfazed by it … he kept flying in big arcs and circles, moving higher until the smaller birds left him alone.”
“Exactly.” Barbara’s eyes told Bailey she, too, understood the analogy from God’s creation. “And that’s just what God wants us to do.”
“The truth is, people pick on those who shine.” Sara smiled at Bailey. “It’s always been that way.”
They looked at the Bible again, and they agreed that the most important thing they could do is forgive people who harmed them, and to fly — like the eagle — to higher ground until the problems of life, the hurtful people of life, were so far below they couldn’t cause pain any longer.
“There is one thing to remember.” Sara took a sip from her drink and looked around the room. “Sometimes we feel like the world is against us … and there are many days when we’re the eagle. But other times we’re the crow. And for that we need to make things right … change our actions and ask God to forgive us.”
Bailey thought about that, and gradually a truth began to dawn on her. At least where Cody was concerned, he wasn’t the only one who’d been quiet, who hadn’t made an effort to stay in touch. She’d been mad at him since January, and because of that even when she might’ve otherwise worked to stay friends with him, she’d allowed the silence between them as much as he had. Sara was right … she needed to ask God for forgiveness over that and her ill feelings toward a number of her castmates … same as she needed to forgive.
By the time the Bible study was finished, and after the women had prayed — specifically asking God for protection and encouragement for Bailey — she was emotionally drained. She had already called the cast members in her Bible study and told them the meeting was cancelled for now. Gerald seemed most sorry about the situation. “I thought we could do all things through Christ,” he told her. He wasn’t mocking her or the Bible verse they’d looked at a few weeks ago. But he sounded hurt. “I can’t believe you’d give up so easy, Bailey.”
That was earlier this morning, and now after the Bible study on forgiveness, Bailey missed home and her mom more than she had since she arrived in New York. Before she headed down the hall to her room, Betty came to her. “Honey, I think you need a good talk with your family back home.” She soothed her hand along Bailey’s arm. “Use that Skype thing you like to do. That’ll help you feel better.”
“Thanks, Betty.” Bailey went to her room, grateful again for Betty Keller. She might as well have been family, and again Bailey thought she was a lot like Elizabeth Baxter. She flopped on her bed and for a few minutes she stared out the window at the buildings all around her. Times like this, New York City was suffocating. She wanted nothing more than to drive to LaGuardia Airport, hop on a plane, and be home in time for dinner.
But what would she learn from that?
She stood, went to her computer, and moved the mouse. As she did the screen came to life and she saw her Skype program light up. Betty was right — she could call her mom and ask her to chat on Skype for a while. Maybe her mom would know what she could do with her Bible study … how to stand strong for God without losing her job. She was about to call her mom and see if she had time to talk on Skype when a sound came from the lower panel of her computer.
“Brandon!” In her hurt over the fact that Cody had moved on, she had forgotten that Brandon was supposed to be back in Los Angeles over the weekend. For the past weeks he’d spent more time in a handful of exotic islands filming his next movie, but now — clearly — he must’ve been home. He couldn’t Skype her if he didn’t have internet — and he hadn’t had it on location for sure.
A message popped up on her screen asking her if she’d like to have a Skype video chat with Brandon Paul, and Bailey clicked yes. Her heart felt lighter already. After a few more noises, the Skype window filled her computer screen and there he was — Brandon — smiling at her and looking so close he might as well have been sitting across from her. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for this moment?” He was always lighthearted, always more of a tease than a true romantic. But right now, even as Brandon’s eyes sparkled, she was pretty sure he wasn’t kidding. Not in any way.
“I’ve missed you!”
“Really?” He leaned closer to the screen. “So I should come see you, is that what you’re saying?”
“I wish.” She felt her spirits dip again. “You’ll be busy for another four weeks, right? Isn’t that what you said?”
“Not that long.” His eyes held hers, and her sadness and guilt from earlier today faded compared to how he made her feel. “Besides, I have to see your show again. I’d see it every night if I could.”
“Not tonight.” She laughed, enjoying the feel of his eyes on hers. “We’re dark today. I’m off until tomorrow.”
“That’s right.” He leaned back and laced his fingers behind his head. “So that means our Skype date can last all day. Wouldn’t that be great?”
She giggled. “If you want.”
“I want.” His eyes softened. “You have no idea how much I want that. How much I wish I was there with you.” They locked eyes and stayed that way for a long while. Then as if he’d just remembered something he held up his phone and seemed to check the time. “Wow, it’s almost one.” He held up his finger. “Hold on. I’ll be right back.”
She waited, grateful that he was home, that they could talk through Skype this way. She had so much to tell him. But as she watched the empty screen facing what she assumed was his bedroom or his office at the studio, she sat up straighter, squinting at the details. The room where he’d been sitting didn’t look like anything from his house or his studio or —
Suddenly someone put gentle hands on her shoulders, and she screamed. At the same time she whirled around and her hand flew to her mouth. “Brandon?” She stood, laughing even as tears flooded her eyes. “Are you serious? You’re really here?” She jumped into his arms and they stayed that way a long time, holding onto each other.
“You should’ve seen Betty trying to think of a place to hide me during your Bible study.” He laughed, his eyes tender toward Bailey’s landlord. “And trying to explain Skype to her.” He whistled low. “Wow … that was tough. But I needed you to get on Skype if I was going to make it happen like this.”
“I love it … I mean,” she looked at her computer screen and back at him. “It’s like you transported yourself here or something.” She hugged him again, and her voice lost some of its excitement. Instead there was a depth in her tone that she had only recently started using around him. “You don’t know how much I needed to see you today.”
“God knew.” He smiled at her, and then hugged her once more. Bailey couldn’t believe it, couldn’t convince herself she wasn’t dreaming. Brandon was really here!
And because of that all was right with the world.