Honor Student

chapter Thirteen

I rubbed my wrists gingerly as he got off the bed and pulled on his jeans. He picked up my pants and shirt and tossed them on the bed, not looking me in the eye. I shrugged my clothes on quickly wondering what I had done wrong. He grabbed my torn panties from the floor and slid them into his dresser drawer then quickly exited the room. I finished getting dressed and followed behind him. He was at the island in the kitchen, pouring himself another shot. I walked up behind him, wrapping my hands around his waist.

“Don’t” he said quietly as he pushed my hands away. He slammed back another shot and I felt mortified.

“Did I do something wrong?” I asked, worried that he had not enjoyed himself as much as I had. That was not exactly how I had pictured my first time, but I did not regret it. He did not answer, just stared off into the distance. “I’m going to go. I don’t live far from here.” I said, letting my voice trail off. He poured another drink, never taking his eyes off the bottle. I slinked out of the front door, this time he did not try to stop me. I made my way down the dimly lit staircase. I realized my books where still in his car but I decided to leave them. It was taking all of my strength not to break down and cry. I just wanted to get as far away from here as possible. I pulled out my phone but realized I had no one to call. I crossed my arms over my chest and walked quickly towards my house. The effects of the alcohol had all but worn off and I wished that they had not.

I could see headlights reflecting of the building in front of me as a car pulled up beside me and stopped.

“Get in.” Mr. Honor said angrily. I refused to look at him and began walking faster. His car slowly rolled beside me as I continued. “Get in!” he yelled louder and I could tell he was really pissed off.

“F*ck off!” I yelled back, surprising myself. He slammed his car into park and jumped out. I stopped, wondering what he was going to do as he stalked towards me. He was only wearing his jeans and nothing else. “Leave me alone.” I yelled angrily but he kept coming.

“Let’s go.” He said as he grabbed my arm, pulling me towards his car. I tried to wiggle free, but he tightened his grip. He opened the door and waited for me to comply. I glared at him and slid into the seat. He made his way to the driver’s side and got in, slamming the door loudly behind him.

“I shouldn’t have let you leave.” He said calmly.

“Which time?” I asked and he gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turning white. He glared over at me angrily and I suddenly regretted my attitude.

“I’m no good for you, Emma.” He sighed. I glanced up to meet his eyes. He looked sad and angry, but I was not sure if it was directed towards him or me.

“Yea, I get it. You don’t want me.” I rolled my eyes and fought back the tears that had risen again.

“I don’t want you?” he laughed, his face wrought with confusion. “Emma, I just had you.” His expression turned serious again. “Is that what you wanted for your first time? Some person tying you up? F*cking you and humiliating you?” he asked and I realized he was upset with himself and not me. I relaxed a little and thought over how to answer.

“That’s obviously not what I pictured but I… enjoyed myself.” I said quietly. His eyes lit up at my response.

“I know you did.” He licked his lips and that wonderful feeling shot down through my body to my most intimate areas. I bit my lip and tucked my hair behind my ear.

“It’s not like we couldn’t try it again.” I could feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment the moment the words left my mouth. He swallowed hard and shook his head at the thought. I had enough of his rejection for one day. I opened my door ready to run off in the dark so I could cry alone.

“Emma!” he called, grabbing my arm so I would not leave. “I didn’t mean I don’t want to do it again, I just can’t give you what you want. What happened back there is all I know. There will never be anything more than that with me. I do not get close to people. I don’t care for people.” He explained and my head began to swim with all of this information.

“Then why are you here? Why not just let me walk home?” I asked. He looked completely caught off guard.

“I don’t know.” His grip loosened on my arm. I nodded, realizing I had made a huge mistake. I had built up Mr. Honor in my head to be someone he never was or wanted to be.

“Good night, Mr. Honor.” I stepped out onto the dark street.

“William” he called after me.

“What?” I asked, turning back towards the car.

“My name is William. Please get back in the car. It’s not safe out here for you.” I thought it over for a moment, glancing around the dimly lit road. “Please” he called, his voice filled with worry. I realized he was right and got back into the car. The last thing I wanted to do was walk.

We rode in silence, only speaking to give him directions to my house. He parked down the road just in case my aunt happened to be home, but the driveway was empty.

“Thanks” I said shyly. He stared ahead, clenching his jaw. I got out and made my way into the house. It was empty and I was thankful I did not need to make any excuses. I walked back the hallway to my bedroom, flicking on the light. As I peeked out the window, I saw Mr. Honor pulling away, his taillights fading in the darkness. Today had been exhausting. I could not wait to crawl into bed and get some sleep.