Fire Stones

Chapter 10

A week after my mother first became ill, I saw Varun walking in the gardens in front of our house. I had spent the week by my mother's bedside – leaving school in order to bring her soup for every meal and let the doctors in and out of the cottage – but she showed no signs of improvement. If anything, she was getting worse. She was skinnier than I had ever seen her; her skin had gone yellow, with a faintly green glow. Whatever was wrong with my mother, it wasn't a normal illness. And if I wanted to have any hope of treating her, I knew, Varun was my only option. I would have to swallow my pride and ask for help – but that, I knew, was only the beginning. My journey with Varun would mean risking my life. But as I saw my mother lying in bed, so weak and frail, I knew that I didn't have any other options.

Varun was sunning himself in the gardens, his shirt off. The sight of him left me breathless. I knew he was beautiful, but in the past few weeks I'd made myself forget just how much. Now as I saw him again, the same old feelings of desire took hold. But it wasn't lust I felt. It was love. As he looked up at me, I saw the kindness and warmth in Varun's eyes – as calm and cool as the placid lakes of my old hometown. He was looking at me with pure adoration. He raised an eyebrow in surprise as I approached – after all, hadn't I been avoiding him for weeks? - but looked happy to see me, his lips spreading across his face into a gentle smile.

“Long time no see, stranger,” he said. He took a step towards me and for a moment I thought he wanted to hug me, but Varun held back. I could see his muscles tensing from the effort. Instead, he softly brushed a single strand of hair out of my face, pushing it back against my forehead. I looked up at Varun, stunned. I had forgotten how sweet he could be, how gentle and unexpected. It was the first reassuring touch I had received since my mother had gotten sick. My breath seemed to stop in my chest.

“Varun,” I whispered, “I have to ask you something.”

“Anything, Mac. Just ask.”

“It's about my mother...” I could feel my lips trembling; I ached from the struggle not to cry. “She's sick, Varun.”

“I know.” His voice was soft as he stroked my hair. “I heard. Mac, I'm so sorry.” He gathered me to his chest at last, holding me so tight that I felt as if I would burst. His fingers caressed my chin; he pressed his lips against my forehead in a chaste, kind kiss. “She'll be okay, Mac, I know it. She's a strong lady.” I let my head rest against his chest. I wanted to believe his words. I wanted to believe his firm, strong voice that made me feel so safe.

“I missed this,” sighed Varun.

“Missed what?” I looked up into his blazing blue eyes.

“Being here. With you. Just holding you like this. No pressure. Just...together.”

“Varun...” I tried to steer the conversation in another direction, but I couldn't. Feeling Varun against me was like feeling warm waves wash over me – calm, reassuring, beautiful. He made me feel so safe, so soothed. If Chance's touch set me on fire, then Varun's calmed me down again. I couldn't resist it. All my fears and worries seemed to wash away with the tide. I trusted him. I trusted him to do the right thing.

“Varun,” I continued. “I need your help. The second stone. The sapphire. It heals, doesn't it?”

Varun nodded his head. “That's what they say.”

“I need to get it. For my mother.”

He looked grave. “I'll do whatever it takes,” he said. “I'll do what I can to help you.”

“But I know what Chance said – about going into water. About letting Water take hold of me. How dangerous it is. Can you help me without my having to take on those qualities?”

Varun almost looked hurt – he frowned. “I can try,” he said at last. “You don't have to be afraid of your destiny, Mac, whatever it is. Fire or water. But this stone, it's in the deepest, darkest reaches of the ocean, and unless you can survive in water – unless you have water qualities – you'll never get to it. Only the strongest water creatures can get down there; I can't get you there safely unless you use the abilities that I know are there inside. Water abilities.” He sighed. “You can trust me, Mac. I said I wanted to prove my love to you and I will. You don't have anything to fear from me, Mac. You can trust me, one hundred percent.”

“Varun,” I started, “I have to find those stones – one way or the other. You're the Water God. Can't you figure out a way to get me down there without my changing?”

“I have – and if you knew what the other option was, you'd rather get water qualities.”

“What are you talking about?” I looked up at him, perplexed.

“We'd have to become one,” Varun said quickly, his ears turning pink as he looked down.

“We'd have to what?”

“Become one. Fuse together – my powers covering you like a second skin. A sort of temporary way of getting you water powers – but not permanently. But it's intense, Mac. And...more than a little...physical.”

I didn't have time to consider. If I really was Vesta, I couldn't compromise my Fire abilities, not without risking my ability to stop the Erosion. “I'll do it,” I said, nodding my head against his chest.

Varun nodded too. “Then so will I,” he said. “Whenever you're ready. Whenever you want.” His face was strange – a curious and inexplicable mixture of joy and pain mingling in an enigmatic smile. He took my hand and squeezed it.

“Isn't that what you wanted?” I couldn't resist asking. “What you've always wanted? The two of us – going into the ocean together?”

Varun shook his head. “Yes,” he said. “But no. I mean – yes and know. I've always wanted that. But now these memories of her. Of how much she hurt me. I can't get those out of my head either. Memories from the past; I'm not sure if I want them back or not. I miss her – you – whatever – but she can't come back.”

“Unless I find this stone?” I ventured. “Then surely...”

“It's a step,” said Varun. “For you to Awaken into Vesta. If that's who you truly are.” He reached out and pulled me in close. “I want so badly to shield you from everything that would happen when she returns, Mac...”

He stopped then, agony upon his face. My heart went out to him. I wanted so badly to reach out to touch him, to soothe him, to stroke his cheek, to pull him into me. I could feel our cheeks touch, and I felt it as his cheeks grew hot with longing. My body was responding, too. I wanted him. I wanted to embrace him, to press his lips against mine...

“Mac...” Varun murmured. “We can't do this. If we're going to go into the ocean together, we can't touch unless we absolutely have to. It's too dangerous. For both of us. I want to respect you – to respect your wishes – but being near you is driving me crazy. We need to stay strong. I need to stay strong. Because what I can't stop thinking about is the one thing I can't have.”

Looking at him, I felt that what he said was true. I wanted the one thing I couldn't have, too. I wanted him.