CHAPTER 14
As I put the journal down on the couch in front of me, along with the letter my dad had written, I did not feel any more knowledgeable, secure, or safe. What I did know was that I was some kind of hybrid angel that had tons of powers to do all kinds of things like blow up banks. Unfortunately, no one knew the extent of these powers and I seemed to use them from time to time without knowing how I did it or how to control them. The other thing that I was sure of was that some really bad angels from the depths of hell were after me and had been since I was born so that they could capture me before I got my wings to turn me into their own personal hybrid angel, baby-making factory.
The scariest thing about that was the fact that I had recently been awarded into the custody of one by the great state of California and ended up living in the home of another with his daughter, who had been my best friend for the past few years. What did that mean Lena was? Could she be an angel from hell too, or was she a Nephilim? This was some deep stuff to think about, and I was unsure how to digest it all. I felt like I had just been told I was the love child of Cat Woman and the Incredible Hulk, only I had gotten the crazy powers of both and nobody could instruct me how not to destroy cities or stay off the endangered species list.
I had hoped that by reading these two things I would magically have all the answers to my millions of questions. Sure, I had received some hard-to-swallow answers, but now along with those answers I had also developed a few more questions as well, and unfortunately, there were no more letters or journals to give me any other clues to piece together. I was super confused about Lena, and rather than being skeptical of her as I knew I should be, I was worried about her instead. I hoped she was safe and nowhere near Damron, or Damien as I knew him. I wondered if he was really her dad or if she was aware of what type of person he really was. Had he kidnapped her as well? There was no telling what he was really up to when he went on all of his business trips. Knowing what I did now, I wondered if he was reporting every little thing about me to other dark angels like him. My dad had said in his letter that he was the second in command when my dad had taken his assignment. If that was the case when my dad was cast into human form, leaving hell and all its torment behind, Damron would have taken his place. This made him even more of a threat, knowing he was more than likely still in command of hell’s forces.
The more I thought about things, the more sense they made. Lena did not act like my friend; she never had. Whatever she was, Damron could be using her as a way to lure me into the trap he was setting up. Cheryl, also known as Sharon, was probably in on everything from the beginning. I was unsure how that had fallen into place, considering that after losing my dad she had obviously taken up drinking, drugs, and prostitution upon her arrival to earth. From what I had seen, she could barely remember her own name, much less be able to help conceive and carry out an elaborate plan to get me into their grasp and use me to produce a hybrid race. She could hardly keep her focus on staying alive, so surely she was more of a pain than a help to Damron anymore.
Before I could entertain the next thought that would race into my mind, there was a knock on the front door. Being as scattered as I was now, I did not even bother to put the journal or the letter away before I got up. I opened the door without checking through the peephole to see who it was. Opening the door and taking me completely by surprise, I saw Natasha, beaming with a smile. Not knowing how she knew where to find me or where she came from considering store disappeared from the mall since the first time I noticed it. So in short Natasha was as much of an enigma to me as I was to myself. I would never figure her out. She was mysterious but comforting in a way that made you look forward to the next time you would see her, even though she left with no idea of when or if it would ever happen again. The good thing about Natasha was she seemed full of information that she was busting at the seams to provide to those like me who needed it the most. I just hoped this time I would be able to learn more from her than I was able to learn last time.
“Hi, Matalyn, how are you? A little in shock I would imagine, am I right? I know it’s a lot of information to take in all at once,” Natasha said in her little Irish accent, which made everything seem more pleasant than it really was, as her curls bounced around her with every step she took walking into my front door.
Today Natasha looked quite different than she had the first time I had seen her. She wore black slacks, heels, a green knit sweater, and a black, belted jacket with three-quarter sleeves. She had on makeup today, and her hair was cascading in an abundance of tight, red curls that looked like a perfectly styled lion’s mane. She was so stylish it hurt to see how beautiful she looked. Somehow, Natasha made my most trendy day look nonexistent next to her breathtaking appearance! No wonder she was an angel; she deserved the status on appearance alone!
“So you can read my mind too? I assumed that was just Avan’s freakish talent.”
“Oh, Matalyn, every heavenly angel can read the minds of all humans and other heavenly angels. You just have to concentrate on their thoughts. You can do it to you know.”
“Okay, so now you’re telling me that Avan’s an angel too?” I asked, knowing I had already felt I knew the answer a long time ago.
“You have known Avan was an angel for a long time, Matalyn. You just wouldn’t let yourself believe it. It’s time you accept the world you are part of. If you don’t, you’ll never be able to get your wings. You know that means they’ll continue to come after you until you get them, you know that.”
“My wings, right, about that, I don’t know the first thing about how to go about getting my wings. Oh wait, don’t tell me, I have to be strong enough to overcome evil and say a magic word? Well, I’ve withstood the blind date from hell with Ian last year without allowing myself to be totally violated, and I blew up a bank full of demons today with my mind while wishing them back to their flaming puddles in hell that they came from. And the last time I looked into a mirror, I am still not sporting any feathers that resemble the lingerie models on commercials, nor have I shown any symptoms of molting. I also don’t feel like migrating, so I guess I’m not getting them anytime soon am I?” I spouted off, not being able to contain my arrogant tone of ultimate agitation.
“Matalyn, of course you will get them. Remember, though, that angels don’t molt or migrate like birds; we are much higher than that. The strength to overcome evil is so much more than defeating little demons or making one right decision. It is about finding within oneself the strength that already exists in your heart in order to overcome the most powerful influences of evil that are in the world as we know it. It means being able to know and decipher what is and is not of darkness, without falling into the traps that have been set for you. It is when you can know beyond any doubt that you have the ability to overcome any attack that comes against you, and you are strong enough to overcome evil. You must understand that, just as your father explained, there has never been an angel like you. There won’t ever be if you stay safe and get your wings.”
“Maybe that is the part that is so irritating! Everyone else gets created with their wings, and here I am stuck without anything but a letter to tell me about all of this, and yet I have to go out of my way to prove myself worthy of having them when I never asked for any of this! Do you even halfway understand how hard it is being me? Not only do I get told I’m an angel, but that can’t even be simple…I have to be a hybrid. I can honestly say that if a Toyota Prius had feelings, we would probably be best friends because we would be under the same pressure. Everyone should try being me for just one day. I’m sure then all of you would see how I feel being the hunted animal with a target on my back so that I can be used for breeding purposes.
“It seems like it is all being put on me when the way I see it, the angels are the ones who messed up to begin with when they failed to take the necessary precautions to prevent any mistaken angel offspring. Why am I the one that has to pay for all of their mistakes?” I ranted.
I could see the concern and shock on Natasha’s face.
“Matalyn, don’t ever feel that you are a mistake! That’s not the case at all. You are heaven’s most precious angel. You just have to conquer the evil that threatens you before you can visit there. It isn’t a punishment. You see, you are the only one who has ever been given such amazing opportunities and abilities that no other angel has ever even dreamed of.”
“So all of this is really true?” I asked, much calmer than I had been a few moments before.
“Indeed. I am here to help, but you have to be willing to accept it.”
“I am. I’m just confused and there is so much I don’t understand.”
“I know. We will take baby steps. Remember that Avan is here to help you as well.”
“Why didn’t Damron take me when I was living with him and Lena?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.
“He wanted you to be an adult before he made his move to take you.”
“I can’t believe he didn’t just hide me somewhere!”
“You were very blessed that he didn’t. Remember to be very careful. You are nearing the age he wanted you to be, and these people are on the rise, actively out to find you now. Protect yourself as well as you can. A good way is with your ring or bracelet. Have you looked at the charms yet? If not, you’ll notice that each one is different and unique. As you feel of them, they will each remind you of someone you know who is an angel. If you are in trouble and cannot scream out, hold one of the charms and think of that angel, telling them what you need them to know. It will deliver the information they need to come help you as quickly as they can. As for your powers, that is a mystery all its own. Several things have been exhibited over time, but no one knows how powerful you are or what all you are capable of doing,” Natasha explained.
“So what am I supposed to do with all this information?”
“Seek out those who are here on your side. Let them know you are aware of what is happening. Soon the time will come when you will need them. The time to overcome evil is about to be upon you, and you need to be sure of yourself before it is too late.”
“I’m not sure of anything, much less myself. How do you propose I become sure of myself when no one can even tell me what I’m capable of?” I asked, just as frustrated as I had been before.
“Only you can determine what your capabilities are, Mattie, and you know how to control them. It’s a matter of if you want to acknowledge it or not.”
“Okay, I will try to do my best. I just feel like I’m supposed to be so much more than what I am. I’m this all-powerful angel, and yet I have no wings and I am in the dark when it comes to knowing anything about how to act like an angel. I’m afraid I am going to be a huge disappointment! I don’t want to let my parents down. I feel like I already have to a degree. I should have been able to tell something was wrong with Damien and Sh—I mean Damron and Sharon from the beginning,” I said, feeling remorseful for acting like a brat to Natasha when I knew good and well none of this was her fault.
“There is no way you could have known. You are no disappointment, Matalyn. You are destined to do great things!” Natasha added reassuringly.
“Can you tell me what really happened to my parents?”
“I’m afraid I can’t. That is something you must uncover yourself in order to help you overcome those who work for evil.”
“But my dad didn’t do it, right?” I asked with urgency.
“No, he would never have done something like that.”
“I knew it! I knew my dad wouldn’t do that!” I said so excitedly that I was almost yelling at Natasha.
“I hate that our visits always have to be so short, but I do have to be going. I’m quite sure this won’t be the last time we meet.”
“What if I need you? How can I find you?”
“I’ll find you when you’re ready. Sometimes we think we need things that we are not ready for.”
“Wait. Before you leave, can you tell me about Lena?” I asked, hoping for a straight answer even though I knew I wouldn’t get one.
“I know the dream angel has given you peaceful sleep, but remember the dream that plagued you. The answers you seek lie in your dream. Start there and you will unravel the truth,” she said, ending our conversation as she stepped out the front door and shut it behind her.
Although Natasha had basically just repeated what I had read in the letter and journal, I felt better having confirmation on the incredible information.
Natasha was more than hitting the nail on the head when she told me that I had known Avan was an angel as well. I had always known there was something special about him, but I had never been able to put my finger on what it was. I knew he was the most incredible person I had ever met, that I always felt as if nothing could harm me when he was around, and I knew he had a way of being able to tell exactly what I was thinking without me ever saying a word.
I also knew how unexplainable things like the rings on my birthday and the dream I had had seeing him with magnificent, white wings seemed to happen since he had come into my life. The most important thing I knew without a doubt was that when we promised to be with one another forever that it was a promise neither of us could ever break. We belonged together, and whatever life would throw at me, I was sure he would be right beside me every step of the way.
Looking back, I realized that everyone had been giving me hints about what I really was my entire life. I had been surrounded by angels for as long as I could remember.
I still did not understand how Lena fit into the mix though.
Natasha said not to forget my nightmare that had recurred every night since my parents’ death until she had given me the dream angel my mom had wanted me to have. Pacing the floor in the living room, I went over every detail of my dream. I dug deep into my memory bank, focusing on each part of the dream in my mind just as I had time and time before, but there was something different about it this time. For the first time it was more than a nightmare that threatened me in the night. This time it was an important piece of information that needed analyzing in order to help me accomplish the task of finding out how to stop whatever Damron and Cheryl were planning. It would also provide the information I needed about Lena to find out if she was playing a role in their plan.
When I analyzed the part of the dream where Lena told me it was my fault that my parents were dead, it hit me like a car running into a brick wall. Damron put the image of Lena giving me hints into my subconscious! Damron and Cheryl had wanted me to give in to evil for years, always waiting for me to do the wrong things, and using mine and Lena’s friendship to accomplish their goal without her ever knowing. Lena had been to my house countless times, knowing everything about me!
She had befriended me the day I started school after moving to Oceanview. Damron had access to everything he needed to know. That is why he never agreed to meet with my parents in person to talk about me coming over to Lena’s house when we were younger. My parents knew him well and his cover blew, so instead he used Lena as a pawn to find out everything about us. All Lena was to him was a tool, and yet she saw him as a loving father without a clue. I was still puzzled as to how Cheryl fit into all of it, but I was almost positive now that Damron had killed my parents so he could get to me! I wondered if Lena was safe being around him at all. I still had more digging to do before I would have all of the answers. At least now things were clearer than they had ever been before. I felt as if I was finally getting a grasp on who and what I really was.
Natasha had said one other thing that stuck in my head. She told me I was destined to do great things. I had forgotten to ask her what kind of great things she meant. Great things to most people meant achieving fame, winning the Nobel Prize, world peace, philanthropy, humanitarianism, or finding a cure for AIDS or cancer. Somehow I had a strange feeling that great things to angels were much more than any of that. I was not sure what she had meant, but I knew for the first time I was ready for the future.
I felt something new that I had never felt before. I felt empowered and strong. I could tell there was something different about me that had not been there before I read my dad’s letter. I was accepting who and what I was, along with the responsibility that came with it. I was ready to learn how to become what I was created to be, and I wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of achieving it.
At that moment the strangest thing began to happen. I started hearing voices all around me, even though I was alone in my apartment! I concentrated on where they were coming from, and I realized they were coming from down below me in other apartments. Then I recognized that they weren’t voices at all; they were thoughts. I was hearing the thoughts of others. I wasn’t even trying and they were audible. I concentrated harder until I was able to silence them and listen to one at a time.
I lost track of time, trying to perfect this new ability, and by the time I was tired I had learned to tell exactly which apartment that the particular thought was coming from. I was even able to tell who the thought was coming from for the most part. It was the most awesome thing I had ever done, but it left me feeling a little guilty, like I had been invading the privacy and personal space of others.
Along with being able to hear thoughts, I could also feel that the building was full of heavenly angels. I took the elevator to the seventh floor, where Avan had told me all of the employees at Spirits lived. As I walked past each apartment, I could tell how many angels were inside each one. When I passed the door to each one, I got a warm familiar feeling, letting me know they were from heaven. In that moment I realized that the nervous feeling of someone watching me must be the feeling I get when an angel from hell is near.
If that was true, that would have to mean that Allen Hearsch was not alone the other night when he had come to tell me about the things my dad had left for me or any of the times I had sensed him in the past. The strange thing was that I never received the warm, familiar feeling that I did around other heavenly angels around Allen. Being a heavenly angel working undercover, why had he not felt the evil presence that I had? If someone had followed him, they would know that he had never been part of their cause and he may be unaware he had been followed at all. My dad’s letter had said that depending on what type of angel you were, your wings would either be black or white. How was Allen able to hide his wings from them? It would give away everything! Something was off with that situation, and I needed to talk to Allen to find out what was going on and how what he was doing was possible.
I knew I had to do something, and Allen was probably in trouble due to protecting me. I had to do whatever I could to let him know he might have been discovered. There was no telling what these horrible angels were capable of doing if they found out that he had been a traitor, infiltrating their ranks to prevent their plan of using me for the purpose of creating a new race of angels. I was certain that Allen was now in danger and if they knew what he had been up to, they would make an example of him to show others what would happen if you crossed them. I hoped and prayed that I would not be too late to prevent anything bad from happening to him. I didn’t know enough about anything yet to go on my own, so I would have to wait for Avan.
Just then I remembered my bracelet. Both Natasha and my dad had told me that each unique angel represented someone in my life. I remembered that I had to find the one that represented who I needed help from. I touched each charm, holding it with my thumb and pointer finger as an image of the angel it represented filled my mind. I kept going around the bracelet, shocked at how many of my new friends were angels and I hadn’t ever recognized it until now. When I came to Avan’s charm, I held it tightly as I closed my eyes and whispered that I needed his help and that someone was in trouble.