Diamond Girl

Chapter 41



I’m sure Herbert knows the time difference between New York and California, and because of that I maybe should have been grateful that he stayed in his office for a whole hour before calling me on my cell at seven am California time. On the other hand, he might have just used that hour to sift through the previous night’s disaster and assemble as much bad news as possible for me before he picked up the phone.

Since Karmen and I hadn’t gotten to sleep until four that morning, it’s no surprise that he woke me up, or that I had a hard time understanding him. When my phone, which was still in the pocket of the robe I had been wearing when I had dropped face down onto Karmen’s bed, woke me, I glanced at the incoming name through slitted eyes - the horrible Herbert. I answered because dislike him though I might, I knew he was the person I was going to have to speak with if I wanted to begin damage control from the fire. I tried to say good morning but only managed a croak. My throat hurt from the smoke.

It was enough for him. “Yes, good morning, Carolyn, though, of course, I am afraid that this is far from being a good morning, as doubtless you will agree.”

I coughed in response.

“I will take that as a yes. I imagine that you are suffering some ill effects from the smoke earlier this morning. Carolyn, I must tell you I am at a loss as to where to begin. Already this morning I have received a distraught call from the city commissioner in Beverly Hills, who is an old acquaintance of mine. She called me voicing concern over having an unsightly burned area in her jurisdiction. I informed her that we would be dealing with it, but one thing at a time.”

I managed to say thank you. Tired and sick as I was, I felt a little energy returning to my body with the knowledge that I wasn’t alone; that Herbert was on this.

His next words quickly clued me into how wrong I was. “You’re welcome, Carolyn. I only wish all of this morning’s calls were as simple as an overly-pushy code enforcer. You see, someone emailed your father pictures that are apparently all over the internet.”

“What pictures? Herbert, it was three o’clock in the f*cking morning.”

He cleared his throat. “Yes, Carolyn, I’m quite aware of what time it was, just as you should be aware that Los Angeles is a city filled with those unfortunate camera types who lurk about at all hours and who apparently all have police and fire band radios in their vehicles. Now ...”

“Paparazzi, Herbert, they’re called paparazzi, so I’m guessing what you are saying is that some of them took pictures of the fire last night and me leaving the house, God, Daddy must be so worried. Listen, let me just call him right now and I’ll call you right ba ...”

“There is no need to call your father, Carolyn. He has already shared his thoughts in this matter.”

“I don’t care, I want to talk to Daddy.” I started crying and felt Karmen’s hand stroking my hair. I turned to look at her. She was awake, watching me with concerned eyes, I gestured at the phone to explain my tears and she made a 'f*ck you' gesture which made me laugh through my tears.

Herbert heard it. “Is this funny to you, Carolyn?”

“No Herbert, sorry, it’s just … never mind. So Daddy wants you to speak to me for him. How unusual.”

“Carolyn, please don’t be snide. I can assure you that you will find speaking to me preferable to having this conversation with your father. If for one moment you can think of someone besides yourself, try to imagine his feelings on seeing his disheveled daughter driving off with some strange young woman in a wrecked car while his only grandchild is left alone with a nanny.”

I went cold. In the nightmare of leaving the house, I hadn’t thought about how it would look, I mean how it was. That was bad, I knew, but …

I tried to explain to Herbert. “Herbert … oh shit, listen, I didn’t … I mean, okay, I should have gone with Diana but, Herbert, I swear she’s with Lisa, her nanny. She loves her and they aren’t exactly out on the street, they’re at ...” It was horrible, I couldn’t remember where it was they were at. Frantically I looked at Karmen. She was trying not to laugh. She thought this was funny! She mouthed the name of the hotel. I sighed with relief. “They’re at the Beverly Hilton. It’s a good hotel, Herbert, and I ...”

“And you didn’t know the name of it, did you, Carolyn? Don’t bother answering me. The more important question here is why you yourself are not at the Beverly Hilton with your daughter and this Lisa, a mere employee who presumably might have finished with her shift hours ago?”

There was no good answer to that question. “I don’t know why I didn’t do that, Herbert. In all the panic, I … well, okay, you’re right, I suck. I’ll get dressed and go over there now.”

I looked at Karmen. Her eyebrows were raised and she kept trying to whisper something to me. I shook my head angrily at her. She made a huffing noise and got up, saying loudly enough for Herbert to hear., “Fine, f*ck you. I don’t give a shit what you’re talking about in my bed in my bedroom. I’ll just take your f*cking dog for a walk while you conduct your business.”

I tried to shoot her an apologetic look, even though I didn’t know why she was mad at me again. Wasn’t I the victim here?

She ignored me, grabbed Petal off the bed and left the room. After a few seconds I heard the front door slam and I exhaled in relief, returning to my apologies to Herbert, even though, again, I didn’t know why I had to apologize to him either. “I’m sorry, Herbert, I ...”

“Was that charming voice I heard your companion from this morning … a Miss Karmen Tines, I believe the site TMZ said her name was … the daughter of a Mr. Gary Tines and a rather notorious lesbian? Good God, Carolyn … well I’m glad to hear at least you plan to rejoin your daughter. As to that, I have also received a call from your mother.” He chuckled. “Like I said, it’s been a rather active morning around here.”

I gritted my teeth. I could hear the barely-repressed delight in his voice. How Herbert was loving being in the middle of my shit storm. Herbert is nothing but a gossipy old woman and I hate him. I didn’t tell him that, though. Instead, I sighed heavily and said, “This gets better and better. What does she want?”

“Oh she is flying out to your fair city as we speak. She has offered to pick up your child … uh ...”

“Diana, her name is Diana, and what do you mean, 'offered to pick her up'?”

“Mmm? Oh yes, Diana, of course. Well your mother feels, and your father has agreed most heartily, that for the time-being it would be best if the child, Diana, were to return to New York with your mother and her unfortunate new husband until you have sorted out your immediate affairs, particularly your living situation.”

“Daddy thinks this too?”

“Yes, indeed. As a matter of fact, he has lent your mother the Kelleher corporate jet for her trip so that she and the child can travel comfortably.”

“Well she can’t take her. Diana is my daughter and ...”

“And you left her alone in a hotel with an employee and you have no home to take her to, and I think you will find that if you do not agree to this temporary solution to your childcare situation, your mother is more than prepared to notify California’s division of child welfare, that is if someone who has seen that distasteful video has not already done so.”

I began sobbing. “Please, Herbert, she’s all I have. I’ll get another house. You could help me, please, I …” My voice trailed off at his silence. I tried to be calmer, more mature, more of whatever would make him be nicer to me. Weakly I asked him. “Can I have her back as soon as I’m settled?”

“Yes, well, of course. I mean, I assume so. I don’t believe your mother is looking to raise another child.” He laughed again, as though inviting me to join him.

I didn’t. “Okay, okay.” I wiped my streaming nose on Karmen’s sheets. “Okay, okay, she can go for a couple weeks until I buy a new house. Maybe Lisa ...”

“Buy a new house? Carolyn, what are you talking about? How do you plan to buy a new house?”

I was confused and told him so. “Well, I mean, there’s still a lot of money left in my trust, right, and if I find something nicer than my old house, maybe you could ask them if I can like pay half now and the rest when the insurance company sends a check for my burned house. God, Herbert, just my furnishings alone will be ...”

“Millions and millions in loss, yes, Carolyn. I have seen the bills and my goodness you did spend a great deal, more's the pity.” For a moment it was like all the smoke from the night before had come back and entered my lungs. I couldn’t breathe; my body felt like it was filled with smoke too, like I might drift away. There was a growing feeling of a dread too large to allow me to speak. Distantly through the rushing in my ears, I heard Herbert. “Carolyn, Carolyn, are you there, Carolyn?”

I whispered. “I’m here, I’m … what do you mean, loss? The insurance, I ...”

“Yes, I was quite shocked myself, Carolyn. As soon as I got off the phone with your father, I began searching through the title deed copies I had your real estate agent send me at the time of purchase. Imagine my horror when I realized you had never taken out any form of homeowner’s insurance.”

“What is that? Isn’t that, like, included?”

He sighed. “Of course it’s not included. The trust, at your request, purchased the home you wanted, and with a fully paid property there is no automatic insurance. Since I had taken the trouble to explain this to you several years ago regarding auto insurance, I assumed you would understand it applied to homes and … their contents.”

I tried to swallow, couldn’t and just panted into the phone, listening to words that were burning down my life like the fire had burned down my house.

“I am guessing that if you did not bother to insure a multi-million dollar property, you never bothered to insure what was inside of it. This is a great tragedy, Carolyn.”

“But I didn’t know, I didn’t … Why didn’t you tell me?” I wailed into his ear.

He snapped back. “I am not an insurance salesman, Carolyn. Good God, perish the thought. I went above and beyond, as the case may be, in handling your tax situation with the last house; now of course …” His voice trailed off.

Obediently I repeated, “Tax situation?”

“Yes, of course, capital gains tax. I detailed all of this in a letter to you at the time, though I’m certain you chose to ignore it. What it means is that there was a two million dollar capital gain tax on the sale of your first California home. I deferred that because you purchased a home of greater value. Now there is no more home and no prospective home. In addition, I fear the clean up of the property in question will cost at least as much as you may hope to retrieve on any sale of a vacant lot. In short, Carolyn, last night’s debacle was a thirteen million dollar loss and you, my dear, are in rather dire straits.”

I struggled to think. There had to be a way out of this. I whimpered in Herbert’s ear, “My God, I’m … I’m so, I’m so stupid, but, Herbert, there is still some money, right? I mean, I’m not going to live on the streets, am I?”

I finished on a sobbing half-laugh. “No, Carolyn, and you may thank both God and the wisdom of your trustees for that mercy. I can only imagine, given your total disregard of even the modicum of financial responsibility, what would have become of you if we had turned over the entire amount in your trust. Your fortune is greatly diminished and can no longer be considered as the limitless security your father had hoped it would bring you, but if you live carefully, you should survive quite well. In that vein, we, the trustees, are removing all control from you and will henceforth give you a monthly allowance.”

“How much?”

“Fifteen thousand is the amount we have agreed upon. It should be more than adequate for a single mother and child. You should notify a local rental agency about finding a property to lease as I cannot imagine your mother will be willing to return her granddaughter ...”

“… who she’s never met …” I snapped.

Herbert said unperturbed, “Be that as it may, I do not think she will return your child as long as you are residing with Miss Tines. Once you have found a suitable abode, notify me and I will write the deposit checks. As to furnishings, well …” He hesitated momentarily, stumped, I imagine, by how one furnished a home on his secretary’s salary. “As to furnishings, try to remember when buying the necessities that you have to live on a set monthly amount now. From that you will need to pay your rent, your utilities, gas and auto insurance, and provide food for yourself and your child.”

“And child care, Herbert, what kind of childcare should I get, an illegal immigrant maybe? Would mother approve of that for her grandchild?”

He sighed. “I really must be going, Carolyn, but, before I do, some last advice: you are a mother now,” he said it in a kind of 'God help the kid' way before continuing, “and since you are unemployed and give every appearance of remaining that way, you might consider caring for your child yourself. If not, maybe you could sell your car, or any jewelry that can be recovered from the fire scene, and prepay a year or so of care. This, despite your rather sustained belief otherwise, is not my concern. Good day, Carolyn.”

'Good day,' he said. When Karmen came back into the bedroom, obviously expecting me to apologize to her for ignoring her earlier, she was arrested at the sight of my dead white face and shaking limbs. She sat down beside me and asked what was going on. When I was finished, she was quiet for awhile. She didn’t hug me or tell me everything was going to be okay. She just nodded and said, “Huh, well you’re pretty f*cked now. Welcome to allowance world. It’s going to be rough with a kid, but at least there’s some good news.”

I stared at her dully. “What’s that?”

She grinned triumphantly, “Well, since you’re staying here with me until you find a place to live, you have to take me as your date to Milan’s housewarming now.”