Death Warmed Over (Dan Shamble, Zombie PI #1)

Brondon Morris, wearing a green plaid sport coat, had forced Robin up the metal steps and onto a catwalk on top of a huge vat. I saw no sign of McGoo or Jekyll, and I felt cold inside, fearing that McGoo might already be dead somewhere. What if Brondon had simply shot him in the back of the head, as he’d done to me, then coerced Robin in here?

Her hands were tied behind her back, and that got me angry. Brondon jabbed a gun directly in her face, forcing her to take another step along the catwalk. His broad grin was just like the one he had worn when flirting with the three zombie cougars. He was going to make her jump into the vat.

He brandished his gun, which looked like a .38, the type of weapon that had gunned me down in the street after Sheyenne and I left Grandma Wong’s shop. If that was the same gun, then this guy must really like to shoot me.

I drew my own revolver and lurched to the metal stairs before he could shove Robin over the edge. “I wouldn’t do that, Brondon!”

He swung his head around, startled, and looked down at me from atop the giant cauldron. “Dan Chambeaux!” He let out a mocking laugh to cover his surprise. “You really do keep rising from the grave.”

While he was momentarily distracted, Robin kicked him in the shin. It was the best she could do with her hands tied.

Brondon yelped, hopped on one foot, and swung the pistol back to her. “Stop that!” As fast as I could, I started running up the narrow steps along the side of the vat, although I knew I wouldn’t get there in time. Brondon didn’t know where to point the gun. He swung it back and forth. “I suggest you stop, Chambeaux! I’ve got plenty of bullets, and even if they don’t hurt you, imagine what they’ll do to your pretty little partner.”

I had made it halfway up the stairs, but I stopped, held up my handgun. “Don’t hurt her, Brondon.”

He rolled his eyes. “Of course I’m going to hurt her! Haven’t you been following the program? Toss your weapon across the floor.”

“Why in the world would I do that?” I decided to see how far I could push it. Moving slower now, I climbed two steps higher and kept my gaze fixed on his.

“Because I’ll shoot her right now if you don’t.” He pressed the barrel against her head, pushed hard, and Robin flinched back. “You’ve already seen what a bullet did to your skull. You choose—think fast! Three . . . two . . .”

“All right! Stop, I’ll do it.” I tossed my revolver over the metal stairs and onto the floor. It was the only advantage I’d had, but Brondon could easily kill Robin in an instant. Maybe if I could get him to soliloquize, as movie villains do, I could figure out something. I glared up at him. “I’ve unraveled your plot, Brondon. We know you sold your antique Smith and Wesson to Ivory after you killed me.” I pointed to the pistol in his hand, using that as an excuse to advance another step higher. “Did you use that .38 to shoot me down in the street a few nights ago?”

“It’s my new gun,” he said, admiring the weapon. “I wanted something lighter and more stylish.”

Robin’s dark eyes widened as she put the pieces together. She hadn’t known what Sheyenne and I learned from Ivory. “You’re the one who shot Dan?” She had real, heartwarming murder in her glare. “Why?”

I had been just about to ask the same question.

Brondon looked at Robin, annoyed, but she kept her back straight and refused to be pushed around. “He was closing in on me. I had to cover my tracks before he unraveled JLPN’s overall plan.”

Under other circumstances it might have been funny. “I never liked you, Brondon, but I was never after you—in fact, I had no idea you were involved in anything until tonight. Harvey Jekyll was the one in my sights. I followed him out to the dump with his hazardous chemicals, and we found the silver Straight Edge ring in his study. We know he’s the Grand Wizard.”

Brondon looked like a gorilla with indigestion. “I’m the Grand Wizard. I created Straight Edge. Harvey’s just a second banana, a wannabe with money.”

Now I was even more confused. “What are you talking about?”

Brondon wore a strange expression, then smiled. “Oh yes, I forgot—I never did get a chance to go over all the details before I shot you from behind. I decided it was better not to gloat, not to explain everything.”

“I wish you had. It would have made solving my murder a heck of a lot easier.”

“I didn’t know what you had discovered, but I couldn’t risk having you blow the whistle. Our new line of necroceuticals was being released in the Quarter, and I had to take you out of the picture.”

“Sorry to pee on your parade, Brondon, but I wasn’t looking into the new product line at all. I don’t even use the stuff.”

Brondon blinked. “But you were following me! I saw you.”

“Miranda Jekyll hired me to do covert surveillance on her husband. She wanted to catch Harvey having an affair so she’d have leverage for her divorce settlement. I was following you just to get to him.”

Robin said, “The cat’s out of the bag now, Brondon—you might as well explain it. Isn’t that what villains do?”

“I’m not the villain—I’m trying to save humanity.”

“Strange way of showing it,” I said. “With all those people dissolving horribly in the last couple of days.”

“Do you still have graveyard dirt in your ears? I said I’m saving humanity, not unnaturals. The whole line of necroceuticals was designed for this purpose, and this purpose alone.” Finally, the villain’s soliloquy! I used the distraction of his ranting to advance another two steps toward the catwalk.

“JLPN is the most popular toiletry line for unnaturals. All the monsters use our body washes, shampoos, deodorants, skin creams, perfumes and colognes, toothpaste, hair gel . . . and every single product is impregnated with a seemingly innocuous Compound X.”

“What an original name,” I said. “Compound W and Preparation H were both taken?”

Brondon sneered. “After prolonged use, Compound X saturates unnatural tissue. They don’t even know it. It raises no red flags on any chemical analysis. But now . . .” He spread his arms wide to indicate the factory floor and the bubbling cauldrons. Then he caught himself in the middle of his overly grandiose gesture, looked embarrassed, and trained the gun back on Robin to stop her from kicking him again. “With all of our advertising, the unnaturals will have to try the new and improved Fresh Loam line. And each new product contains a different, very special trace chemical.”

“Let me guess: Compound Y?”

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