Chapter 16
TURNS OUT I wasn’t the first alien Mel had ever met.
“One time, Dad brought home this super-friendly turtle-type thingy.”
We were walking along a bridle path, leading our horses by their reins. Butterflies were flitting all around—or maybe that was just in my stomach.
“Her name was Jenn Jenn,” said Mel.
“The turtle-type thingy?”
She laughed. “Well, that’s what she looked like. She was in the witness protection program or something. I think Jenn Jenn was helping my dad track down an alien he kept calling ‘Number 5.’ ”
I nodded. I had met the fifth-foulest fiend on the planet. I had also terminated him.
“Anyway,” said Mel, “Jenn Jenn and I hung out for a couple weeks. She was wicked good at chess. And you did not want to watch Jeopardy! with her, because Jenn Jenn knew all the questions before Alex Trebek even finished reading the answers!”
I nodded. “Probably from Sulleean. Super-intelligent creatures. They’re basically a big brain wobbling around on four feet, with a tiny head that pokes out when they need to eat or scan something.”
“Or play Jeopardy!,” added Mel.
“Right. That tortoiseshell? It’s actually an exoskeletal skull.”
“Really? Wow. It sure was cool-looking. Swirly, luminous colors, like on a bowling ball. Do you guys have bowling up on Alpar Nok?”
“We have something similar. But you need a zero-gravity playing field, suborbital meteorites, and an asteroid belt.”
“Really? Do you wear the belt?”
“No, an asteroid belt is—”
She poked me in the ribs with her elbow. “Kidding!”
I smiled. She smiled. Yes, it was an official smilefest.
“So,” said Mel, “seeing how you’re already soaked, you want to hit my favorite swimming hole? It’s up that dirt road a couple miles. We could ride there.”
“Is it on your property?”
“No. Our neighbor’s. But they don’t mind. I swim there all the time.”
Do not stray outside the secure perimeter, said a small voice inside my head, and this time it wasn’t Xanthos, although he did chime in with a Yah, mon. Very, very bad idea. Do not go looking for trouble. You will find it soon enough.
I had to agree with Dr. X, which is what I had decided to call Xanthos since he was quickly becoming my built-in Dr. Phil, constantly dispensing pearls of wisdom and loads of tough love. I knew that Number 2 and his hench-thugs from the bat cave were still out there, still passing around my WANTED poster, still gunning for me. And if Mel happened to be with me when some alien bounty hunter finally tracked me down, the creep would not discriminate. It would blast her to smithereens, too.
Yes, I needed to rest and restore my powers.
But I did not need to be stupid.
“I have a better idea,” I said.
“What?”
“You ever ride an elephant?”