37
She hadn’t wanted to exactly, but she didn’t want to tell him no either. They were supposed to be packing, then checking out of the hotel, then finding the driver, then going for his brother even though they had promised to let him stay the night, and then finally heading to the station so they could take the next bus to Ciudad Victoria. Once they were back in the room, though, he had started with a little kiss on her cheek, followed by an innocent-enough hug, but then another kiss behind her ear and a longer one at the back of her neck, near her shoulders, and finally one on the lips as tender as the first. And once he had so easily undone the metal fasteners, she knew they wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon.
Only when the evening light had dimmed and he was holding her from behind did it seem there was time for her to say anything. “But I thought that was why we came back to the room?”
“It was, but you saw how it got late on us.”
“You were the one who said it wouldn’t take long.”
“Yes, but if we leave now, we’ll be on the bus all night, then get there tired, and what good will that do us?”
“Then tomorrow, when we get back?”
“Maybe. Remember, I have to take Fidencio across. Who knows what kind of a fight he’s going to give me.”
“And after that?”
“If it’s not too late. You saw how long it took us to get here.”
“That was because we left late. If we leave early, there should still be light.”
He didn’t respond because it didn’t seem her comment needed a response. Right now what he wanted was to hold her in his arms. How was he supposed to know when the first bus would pull out of Linares and after so many stops arrive in Ciudad Victoria, only so they could wait around for the next bus to take them the rest of the way to Matamoros? After being intimate, his favorite part was the time when he could relax and be grateful they had found each other and could be together in this way. Was that asking so much, to be able to enjoy this quiet moment?
“Then you don’t want to?”
“I didn’t say that,” he answered, opening his eyes once again. “We go to sleep now, and tomorrow we see how things turn out, that’s what I meant.”
“Say if you don’t want to meet him.”
“You were the one who at first didn’t want me to meet your family.” He pulled away some and turned over onto his back; it was clear that she wasn’t going to let him enjoy the moment. She stayed where she was, as if she had failed to notice his retreat or, if she had, that it didn’t matter.
“That was before, with my mother and my tía, the way they are. This is different with my brother.”
“And how do you want me to know how they do things in your family, when you tell me ‘no’ and then suddenly you tell me ‘yes’? At least I told you how things were from the beginning.”
But he did know, and knew that she knew that he knew. So why pretend? She had explained to him how her mother had been against the relationship before she could even invite him to come over to the house. She remembered telling him that maybe someday he’d be welcome, if one of her brothers could change her mother’s mind, at least get her to accept him. And now Marcos, her youngest brother, was here, so why was it such a mystery that she would want them to meet? Even more, he knew the reason his children were neither for nor against them was because he had avoided telling them anything for fear of how they would react. So there was nothing to say about the relationship, since for them it didn’t exist.
“Tell me what’s going to happen with us, Celestino,” she said a few minutes later. “After we get back.”
Earlier he had turned the other way, onto his side, so now they had their backs to each other. Lying there in the dark and with the drone of the air conditioner, she wanted to believe that he could have somehow dozed off, but she knew better.