I’m passionate about what I do, so the truth can be tough to digest. The business of television is complicated, with numerous factors at play in determining benchmarks of success and viability, but there’s no parsing reality in this case. When someone chooses to provide 3,081 percent more resources to a project with a white protagonist than they do to a project with a protagonist of color… while measuring the success of both projects with the same scale… it is an example of systemic racism—the more diverse project has been set up to fail from the start.
After taking over our timeslot, Will & Grace aired to lukewarm numbers before repeatedly dipping to or under a 0.43 rating—lower than Sunnyside’s premiere.
Will & Grace was not pulled off the air.
* * *
Though things weren’t ending the way I had hoped, I was extremely grateful. I share my story not to shame anyone or place punitive pressure, but because of my genuine hope that the system in the industry I love so deeply can continue to improve. And looking around at the panoply of people who made my dream of Sunnyside happen felt powerful and remarkable. Even if just briefly, we were doing creative work the way we had hoped it could be done. Through our characters, we brought our communities to life. We created a vibrant professional creative space in which we didn’t have to explain ourselves. The opportunity NBC gave us and the skills I learned would make me a stronger artist and producer next time around. In any job, in any passion, things don’t always work in your immediate favor. As a creative, you have to take your experiences and figure out how to evolve; this opportunity allowed me that growth and gave me the strength of knowing what’s behind the curtain. The people who helped create Sunnyside—including those who allowed us to develop it at the network and physically produce the episodes—were some of the finest I’ve ever worked with in this business. It brought me a lot of happiness and artistic fulfillment. Most people don’t get to say that in their jobs! If you’re interested in seeing it, you’ll find a link at kalpenn.com.
1?He joined the ranks of Sonia Nikore and David Shore.
2?Maybe they called Joel directly, I don’t know!
3?Sorry we never made that happen, Zach.
4?Kris Eber is such a great line producer, he had saved so much of our budget from the earlier part of the season that we had enough money left over to shoot an entire additional eleventh episode. Miraculously, for much the same optics reasons, the network didn’t fight us on this.
5?https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20200305/10532244040.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS
“You always exaggerate things, Kalpen.” That was my mom’s response when I recently checked in with my parents about my tumultuous teenage years, when it seemed like everyone was trying to dissuade me from pursuing the arts.
“I’m not exaggerating, I really want to know. After you and Dad worked so hard to build a life in America,” I asked, “how embarrassed were you when I’d tell everyone at those family gatherings that I wanted to be an actor?”
“Embarrassed. I don’t know how you get these ideas into your brain. If we were ever embarrassed by anything, it was your horrible haircut. Thank God you shaved your head after your Yale rejection.”
“I do admit the way I dealt with that was a little dramatic.”
“But we were never embarrassed by your interest in acting. We just didn’t know it was a real career somebody could have. We sacrificed so much to be in America, and we weren’t sure what the future was going to hold for you. We were scared.”
Fear, of course. Until that moment, I had never considered the extent to which fear must have played a role in their reaction to what I wanted to do with my life. The pressure they felt was surely tremendous, especially starting a family in a new country. “At the same time,” Mom continued, “even though we were scared, we respected your wishes and tried to encourage your interests.”
That was true. While some adults in my life said things like, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too,” and “Are you not smart enough to go to medical school?” my parents did encourage me as much as they knew how—sending me to that Summer Arts Institute, letting me attend the performing arts magnet program, teaching me about why it was important to have a diverse range of interests. And they didn’t lock me up for pretending to be pregnant with a math baby. Dad drove me to that UCLA audition in a snowstorm.
If Mom was right about my tendency to exaggerate, might I have somehow embellished aspects of my parents’ incredible story? “I hope I’m recalling this correctly,” I said to my father. “The entire family got all dressed up and came to the airport in India to see you off, right? And when you landed in America, you had only twelve dollars in your pocket?” Sitting in the living room with a wall of family photos behind him, of camping trips and graduations, college visits and movie premieres, and photos with the First Family, my dad looked at me with some amusement and said, “Unfortunately, you are exaggerating.” He smiled. “When I landed in America, I had only eight dollars.”
The day Dad left for America, summer 1967. My grandmother (Ba) and the women of the fam seeing him off at the airport. Suresh Modi
My grandfather (Bapaji) and the men of the family. Suresh Modi
Lighting a sparkler with Shobhafoi (my dad’s sister) at Ba and Bapaji’s tenement in Mumbai. Diwali circa 1982. Asmita Modi
Mom and Dad saved money by packing lunches to eat at rest stops on the way to camping trips. At the front of the table, Mom’s parents (Grandma and Grandpa), who were active in the Indian Independence movement. Suresh Modi
Elementary school class photo, happily wearing my Sears sweater.
At a living history museum, gleefully reenacting getting tortured for stealing my neighbor’s horse. Kalpen Modi/Modi family photos
Eighth grade me as the Tin Man in The Wiz, just before the life-changing pelvic thrust. Suresh and Asmita Modi
Vegas trip with the UCLA homies circa 2000 (years before Sunny) in my salvage-title Toyota Paseo. Ernest Filart
John Cho and me with actor James Adomian as President Bush. Jaimie Trueblood/New Line Cinema
On set in Shreveport, Louisiana, 2007, Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. Jaimie Trueblood
A University of Pittsburgh 2008 primary campaign event. Kristopher Radder
On the set of House circa 2009 with my wonderful stand-in who was told to wear brown makeup “for lighting purposes.” Peter Jacobson
With senior advisor Valerie Jarrett and her deputy Michael Strautmanis after my formal job interview, April 2009. AP Photos/Charles Dharapak
In the Oval with Tina Tchen, Candace Chin, Bryan Jung, and Eugene Kang, before Whappy and Diwali, 2009. Official White House Photo by Pete Souza