He closed his eyes and spoke under his breath. “Fuck.”
It occurred to me all of a sudden that the sound was him…masturbating. I’d been obsessed with the idea that he was having sex with Kira. And now I’d just admitted that I’d listened intently while he jerked off in the shower. Great. This morning just kept getting better and better.
“I assumed she was in there with you. I’m sorry. There’s no excuse. I guess old habits die hard. I feel like such an idiot.”
Noah looked at me for the longest time.
I expected him to scold me, but he didn’t.
“Tell you what…how about you stop beating yourself up about this, and we pretend it never happened?”
“You’re gonna let me off that easy? No ridicule? No scolding about how it’s none of my damn business?”
“Well, that’s true. But you’ve got a lot on your plate. I’m not gonna add to it. Let’s just forget about it.”
I blew out a sigh of relief. “That sounds really good to me.”
Noah nodded and kept staring at me in silence. I felt like I needed to leave while I was ahead.
Pointing behind me toward the door, I said, “I’d better go. I have an appointment with the realtor this morning.”
He nodded. “Good. Keep me posted.”
“I will.”
When I was almost out the door, he called to me.
“Hey.”
I turned around. “Yeah?”
Noah stepped forward until he was right in front of me. My pulse quickened, and to my shock, he placed his hand on my cheek. It was the first time he’d ever touched me like this, and my nipples stood at attention as I closed my eyes and savored every second.
What’s happening?
“I told you I wasn’t interested in her,” he finally said.
Too flustered to speak, I simply nodded. He slid his hand down my face, and his fingers grazed my neck.
And that was the end of it.
He walked over to his coffee and sipped it as if he hadn’t just rocked my world.
I somehow made it out the door and floated all the way home, unsure what to think.
***
Later that day, on my way home from the realtor’s office, I was still thinking about the way Noah’s hand felt on my face, about his need to assure me he wasn’t interested in Kira. It felt different than just a simple admission for some reason. My body tingled at the memory of his touch and his words.
Now that I’d spoken to the real estate agent, I felt more confident about putting the house on the market. The next step was to break the news to my mother that this sale was happening. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to tackle the Vermont conversation yet, so I decided to play it by ear.
Mom was in her room when I got home.
I sat at the corner of the bed and squeezed her feet through the floral bedspread. The shades were down, and it was dark.
She sat up against the headboard. “How did it go?”
“She says she thinks we should list it soon. The middle of the summer season will be the best time to show it because of the weather. She also thinks we should list it for between 800 and 900 grand.”
My mother blinked a few times as she processed the information. “That’s more than I thought.”
“I know. Me, too. But she seems confident we can get close to asking.”
“It all sounds too good to be true.”
“You mean the listing price?”
“What aren’t you telling me, Heather? You’ve been acting strange. Does it have to do with Noah?”
“No. Nothing has changed with Noah.”
Except for the fact that he touched my face and made me forget my own name for half the day.
“But there is something…” she said.
I sighed. “Yes.”
“What is it?”
It was now or never. I needed to tell her.
“So, um…remember I was telling you about the nursing program at the University of Vermont, and we talked about how nice Burlington is and all that?”
“Yes.”
“Well, some time ago, I decided to bite the bullet and apply.” I hesitated. “I got in. It’s for the spring semester, though. So it wouldn’t be right away.”
She clutched her chest as if that news physically pained her.
“Are you alright?” I asked.
“I knew this was coming. I just…”
“I hope you know how hard this is for me. I promise not to go unless you’re settled. You won’t be alone. I will make sure of it. I’ve been talking to Aunt Katy…”
“Katy? You’re gonna pawn me off on my flighty sister?”
“Katy may be flighty, but she loves you. She seems willing to move out here. She can do her art from anywhere. She said she wants to do this for me. It’s a sacrifice for her, but she’s willing to do it, and I’m extremely grateful. You have to be open to it.”
My mother’s sister, Katy, had been going through a messy divorce for the past few years. Now that everything was finally settled, she had the option to move. Katy was an oil painter who sold her work to small galleries across New England.
“I can live on my own,” my mother said.
“We’ve already had this discussion. It’s not that I don’t think you could live on your own most days, but you need to be around people. You need to have someone looking out for you even on days when you don’t need it. And there’s no way I would leave you alone, because some days you do need it, so there’s that.”
“I can’t stop you from going. I know that. I’ve kept you here long enough.”
My eyes began to water. “It’s really hard for me to think about leaving.”
She reached her hand out to me. “I know. You’re a good girl…my angel.”
“We still have plenty of time. And thanks to Noah, it’s looking like we might actually be able to sell this place. So everything is going according to plan.”
We were quiet for a bit. Then she said, “Noah really has turned out to be a godsend, hasn’t he?”
“I’m glad you’ve learned to trust him, Mom.”
“I might trust him, but I still think he has feelings for you.”
“I’m not sure what you’re basing that on.”
Actually, today was the first day I’d thought she could be right. But I wasn’t a hundred-percent convinced I wasn’t reading into things too much. He’d touched my cheek, not my clit, for heaven’s sake. Maybe he’d just seen that I was upset with myself and was trying to make me feel better. Still, my gut told me there was something to the electricity I felt when he touched me, even if it was just my face.
“You do know you two have been gardening right outside my bedroom window, right? I’ve listened to your conversations. He genuinely likes you.”
“He likes me, yes, but not in that way. He likes me like a little sister.”
“No way I’m buying that, Heather. He might have chosen not to act on it, and in many ways, I commend him for that. But he most definitely has feelings for you.”
What was wrong with me that hearing her say that gave me goosebumps? Am I delusional? Was this entire day one big hallucination? Even if Noah were developing feelings for me and somehow made it known today, he was leaving, and now so was I.
Besides, I still didn’t think Noah would ever cross that line.
“You know…he’s divorced,” I said.
“Really? Some stupid woman let that man go?”
“I know, right?” I chuckled. “He takes a lot of the blame for their marriage ending. He said he put his career first a lot in his twenties and neglected their relationship. He recognizes his mistakes, though, and I have a feeling the lucky woman who nabs him next is going to reap the benefits of that.”
***
That evening at Jack Foley’s Pub, I was busy obsessing over Noah when an old, familiar face turned up in my section.
He seemed happy to see me. “Heather?”
It was a guy I’d gone to high school with, one I hadn’t seen in a few years. He was one year ahead of me.
“Oh my God…Jared!” I hugged him.
Jared Mackenzie had always been smart, and everyone was super impressed when he’d gotten into Harvard.
“It’s so good to see you,” he said.
“You, too. You don’t usually come home for the summer, do you? I haven’t seen you since you graduated.”
He frowned. “My father is sick, so I’m not working the usual summer job I keep in Cambridge.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Yeah, lung cancer.”