Chapter Seven
“Damn. I want to share next,” Hudson said in a husky voice from behind her. She jumped a little at the reminder of their audience, and giggled.
“Only if you have ice cream,” she responded with a laugh, as Rogan lifted her up and into his lap.
She settled her head in the crook of his neck and inhaled his spicy male scent deeply, enjoying the feeling of his fingers running up and down her arm and leg, and his wide chest pillowing her body. Before she could stop herself she yawned widely, and Rogan chuckled.
“Our girl is damn near asleep, boys. I think it’s time to give her a little rest.”
Rachel lifted her head and looked around at the other brothers. No one seemed upset at all, and she breathed a little sigh of relief. “I’m sorry, guys. It’s been awhile since I’ve had more than one orgasm in a night, and I lost count of how many I had tonight. I think Rogan’s right, I need some sleep.”
“Rachel, don’t ever be sorry to tell us what you need,” Parker answered with a frown. He stood and moved to her side, reaching for her. She went willingly, and he began leading her back down the hallway toward the bedrooms.
They bypassed Hudson’s room this time, and went into another across the hall. She was surprised to find herself in what was clearly Rogan’s room. He had the same bedframe as Hudson, but his room was neat as a pin. There was very little clutter scattered on top of the dresser and nightstand, and the sheets were even turned down at the head of the bed awaiting its nightly occupant. She giggled at the pair of slippers she saw peeking out from under the edge, and then jumped when Hudson spoke in her ear.
“Yeah, he’s a bit of a neat freak. The rest of us aren’t so much, that’s why Parker brought you in here. We’ll have to make do with switching rooms until we get the master suite finished. Then we’ll have more space.”
Rachel flashed him a smile. “It has a bed and a pillow so it will work perfectly for my needs tonight. So which one of you is a cuddler?”
“That would be me, baby. I’m a spooner,” Sawyer said, stepping into the bedroom behind Hudson. Rogan followed, and she was again surrounded by large muscular bodies.
It’s like I’m in heaven.
Shaking off the lust that kept fuzzing her brain, she patted Sawyer’s chest. “Good to know. You have to sleep in another bed, because I need my own zip code when I sleep.”
He looked shocked, and his brothers were all laughing. “What?”
“Yep, sorry, big guy. I am not a cuddler. In fact, I’m kind of a bed hog, so whomever is brave enough to share the bed with me, gets what he deserves.” She turned and walked away from them, not wanting to be a part of the discussion over who would share her bed. That wasn’t a choice she could make. Reaching the doorway to the bathroom, she turned back, “I’m going to wash up before I sleep. I’ll just be a minute.”
No one said anything, so she went into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. She rested her back against it and stared at herself in the mirror over the sink. The woman staring back was tousled and looked like she had been well loved. Her hair was in wild curls around her head, and there was a small love bite on her throat. Swollen lips were reddened, and her eyes were slightly glassy. A whisker burn ran down the inside of one thigh, and she grinned remembering how it got there. Never before had she felt so affected by anyone.
It was a pity that it was four men instead of just one, because there was no future in this weekend of pleasure. Her stomach dipped as she thought about leaving Sunday. How would she handle seeing them around town? Or God forbid seeing them with another woman at the bar? This whole charade was going to blow up in her face, she had no doubt, and yet she couldn’t bring herself to leave. She wanted to suck the joy out of every possible moment she could so later she could look back on this weekend and smile.
Straightening her spine, she washed up, and ran her fingers through her hair. There was a change of clothes in her bag, but she wasn’t interested in taking off Hudson’s t-shirt. It felt too perfect to want to remove it. Blocking out the reasons she shook herself mentally because she wasn’t ready to examine those feelings.
When she opened the bedroom door, she was stunned to find Rogan and Parker both in the room waiting for her. “Seriously, guys? I wasn’t joking. I’m not the best sleeping partner.”
Rogan grinned and Parker shook his head, “Sunshine, we’re putting you in the middle, that way we can rein you in when we need to. Don’t worry about the two of us, we’ll be fine.”
She sighed and shrugged, “Okay, but if you hit the floor in the middle of the night, don’t blame me.”
They were settled into the bed in a few moments, and she lay on her back staring at the ceiling with a man on either side of her watching her. It was awkward. What was she supposed to say?
“You’re overthinking,” Rogan said softly.
The darkness hid the ever-present blush that heated her cheeks, and she turned her head to look at him. She couldn’t see the definition of his face, only his silhouette, but she knew he was completely focused on her right now.
“Tell me why four brothers would ever want to share a woman amongst them?” she asked quietly, expecting them to deny her.
Parker sighed heavily, and ran his hand down her arm to lace his fingers with hers. “I can’t speak for the others, but for me it’s something I struggled with when we first started talking about it. I have very strong dominant tendencies—”
“What? You? No way!” Rachel feigned a shocked gasp and lifted their clenched hands to her chest while Rogan laughed.
“Okay, so I’m a Dominant. It’s not something I do intentionally. It’s just part of my makeup. But as I was saying, having the need to be in control went completely against the idea of a ménage. It’s not like my three brothers are going to stand back and wait for me to direct all of the action, so I wasn’t sure I could make it work.”
“What changed your mind?”
“My dad withered away and died because of a broken heart after mama died. I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would have been like for her if she had been alive when he died and suddenly found herself alone. A ménage relationship protects our woman from being completely alone. If something tragic were to happen to one of us, there would be three of us left behind to help console her and make sure she was still loved and protected.
Rachel was silent while she listened to Parker’s reasoning. She was stunned at the depth of emotion she could hear in his voice. He was serious. He wanted a ménage relationship so his woman would always be cared for. It was deeply touching, and it made her heart warm. He might be a bossy prick on occasion, but there was more under the surface yet to be explored.
Rogan spoke up before Rachel could voice her opinion, “For me it stems from the fact I love and respect my brothers, and we all seem to have the same taste in women. I don’t see any reason for limitations on love, and I believe people can love more than one person at a time. I figure if we find the one woman, with a big enough heart, and a strong enough spine to tolerate all four of us, then we should tie her to the bed and never let her go.”
A laugh broke free from her throat, and she reached her other hand up to cup Rogan’s cheek. “I’m not sure that’s the best way to propose it to a woman, but good luck.”
“Why does ménage intimidate you, but my dominance doesn’t, Rachel?” Parker’s question was a valid one, and she took a minute to think about it.
“There are moments when you can be over-the-top bossy, but usually your demands, or requests if you want to call them, are to my benefit. I can’t say I’m perfectly submissive, but I’m happy to let a man lead in the bedroom. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not exactly into pain, so I don’t know if I could ever be a legitimate sub and get my ass beat,” she said trying to sound serious, but smiling anyway.
“Okay, so you don’t want a twenty-four seven relationship with a Dom, but that doesn’t tell us why ménage scares you so much,” Rogan responded.
“Ménage doesn’t scare me, I guess…it’s the relationship part that scares me.” When they were both silent at her admission, she grew nervous. “I just haven’t had any luck with committed relationships. You saw what Mitch did to me, and he's not the first guy that’s cheated on me. In fact, I haven’t had a single relationship with a man where I didn’t get hurt. My own father took off when I was just eight years old after he fell in love with his office assistant, and I watched my mom attempt to date over and over through the years only to get hurt in some way every time. You have to understand I just don’t want to get hurt again.”
“So you’re going to avoid relationships forever?” Rogan asked, and Rachel frowned up at his darkened profile.
“No I guess not. I don’t know. Right now, I just don’t know what I want.”
Silence reigned after that, and Rachel found she was completely comfortable just lying there holding their hands in the quiet of the night. It was an oddly cathartic experience. Neither man judged her for her opinions, or for the fact that Mitch had cheated on her. They didn’t push her to make decisions she wasn’t ready to make, or question her about things she wasn’t ready to talk about. They just listened and absorbed it all.
****
It wasn’t long before the weight of sleep swallowed her, and Parker lay staring down at her while she slept. His hand was still laced with hers and resting on her rib cage where he could feel the even keel of her breathing, and the thud of her heart. A heart that had been damaged, yet longing for love.
He knew his brothers shared his attraction and fascination with Rachel, but until this moment, he had never expected to find himself falling in love with her too. He admired her spunk and her determination. She fought for what she wanted, yet knew when the right time to back down was as well.
This little five foot tall wildcat had managed to rope his heart with her easy acceptance of who he was and what he wanted out of a woman. She hadn’t yet accepted she was theirs, lock stock and barrel, but she would.