But I also don’t want her dead.
“Mother told a lie,” I say, looking into the frail face of the woman who caused me so much pain for so many years. “Her conscience has started to suffer for it, and the goddess will decide what to do with her in the next life. But for this life, I ask that she be removed from me. I don’t want to see her. She is not to live in my household. If I enter the eatery, and she is there, she will leave it. If she sees me in the streets, she is to turn around and go in the opposite direction. She will take herself from my path unless I should seek her out directly.”
A sigh goes through my father, a small sign of relief. What had he been fearing? Banishment? He does care for her, then. Just not as much as he should. But that is between my parents to work out. It is no fault of mine.
“But Torrin?” I continue, and Torrin’s head snaps in my direction at the sound of his name. “Torrin didn’t just lie. He intentionally set out to have me banished, hoping that I would die out in the wild. What he did was practically murder.”
Out of curiosity, I ask him, “Do you have anything to say to me?”
“It was a joke,” Torrin says. “And not my idea. It was Havard’s. Besides, surely it was the goddess’s will since you rid us all of Peruxolo! I should be thanked, not punished.”
But I see through his lies now. It was no joke. He will say anything to save his own skin.
“He is to be banished,” I say. “And if he can survive three months in the wild, just like I did, then he is free to return. Havard will share his punishment, for he is just as responsible for what happened to me.”
“Wise decisions,” Father says. “Kachina, you are free to go, but should you disregard Rasmira’s edict, you will be banished yourself. Torrin, you will collect your things and prepare to leave Seravin. Do not seek refuge in another village, for they will be notified of your treachery.”
Torrin hurls curses and hateful words my way, but Father hauls him up and shoves him in the direction of his home.
“Hurry, or I will change my mind about allowing you time to grab your things.” Then Father stands before Soren and me. “All has been put to rights. You may take as much time as you need to heal before joining the warriors to retrieve our belongings from the mountain. You will now join me in village meetings to further your preparation to rule. I am proud of what I made you. You will do great things, Rasmira.”
“I already have, Father. And you may have helped shape me, but I made myself. I’ve become what I wanted.”
He seems confused by my response, but he says nothing of it. “As for you,” Father says, turning to Soren, “are you courting my daughter?”
“Yes, sir,” Soren says.
“You haven’t asked my permission.”
“You sent your daughter to die out in the wild. Why should I ask you anything where she is concerned?”
It is with great effort that I manage to keep my face still at Soren’s audacity.
Father looks down at the ground. “Well answered. I thank you for being there for her when I was not. Will you be returning to Restin? You know Rasmira cannot leave. She is to stay here and rule.”
“Father! I am a woman now. What I do is no longer your concern!”
Soren says, “I wouldn’t dream of taking her away from here unless she wished it. I’d like to stay in Seravin, if that’s all right?”
“It is,” Father says after a moment. “You may join the ranks of warriors in the village.”
“Thank you.”
“Go get some rest. Both of you. There is much to rebuild.”
Father walks away, the circle of elders following after him. I take Soren’s hand in mine and tug him back toward home.
“Rebuild?” Soren asks. “Nothing was broken.”
“Our way of life was,” I answer. “No more Peruxolo. The village will need to adjust. And we can improve things! Just wait until we introduce everyone to strong trees, to building with wood!”
Soren doesn’t appear to share my enthusiasm. He kicks a loose pebble from the road. “You know, your father is right. You will make a fine leader, but I have to ask, is that even what you want?”
I’m taken aback by the question. “No one has ever bothered to ask me if that’s what I want. My father assumed that because I took after him with the ax, I would also become the next ruler and carry on the Bendrauggo legacy. It has been expected of me for as long as I can remember.”
“Do you want it?”
Without pause, I answer, “I do. I want to change things. I want to cease punishing failed trials with mattugrs, to save them only as punishment for the gravest of crimes. I can’t change things if I’m not ruling, but I will do things differently than my father. I hope that I will better listen to those around me and use the advice of others before making decisions.”
Soren grins, but it looks forced somehow, as though his thoughts are somewhere else. I pull him off to the side of the road, away from the busy traffic, down a side street that is much more quiet, before bringing us to a stop.
“What is it?” I ask.
“I’m sorry for presuming with your father back there—I didn’t actually get a chance to ask you first. Are you all right if I stay in Seravin with you?” He watches my face carefully, as though he doesn’t want to miss any physical reaction to the words.
Is he serious? “Soren, we already talked about this. Yes, of course!”
“But that was back when things were only possibilities. Now this is for real.”
“I want you here, for real. For always.”
He pulls me to him and brushes his lips against my forehead in just the way I like. I close my eyes against that touch, savoring it.
I know this feeling will not last forever. The ziken are still a constant threat. Father is still a selfish individual. There will always be those who are unfair and cruel. Ruling a village will not be easy.
But I am Rasmira Bendrauggo. God Killer. Survivor of the wild. Future leader of Seravin. I am both a woman and a warrior.
And I will not let anyone cause me to forget.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
YOU WOULD THINK WRITING would get easier with each book, but it doesn’t. Each project presents its own challenges, and WotW proved to be the hardest yet. I have so many people to thank for helping make it the book it is.
Rachel Brooks, a huge thank-you for being the best agent a writer could ask for. You helped me pitch and shape this book, and it wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for you. Thank you for all the phone calls, encouraging emails, and enthusiasm. I’m so glad to have you on my team. #TeamBrooks!
Holly West, as always, thank you for your amazing edits. I’m always blown away by your insights. Thanks for sticking with me through another book! (And I’m so excited about our next one!) Brittany Pearlman, my tiny general, thank you so much for all the scheduling and planning you do to help me connect with my readers. You’re the best publicist!
Lauren Festa, thank you for all the work you did marketing my books! I’m so sad to be losing you, but I hope you have all the fun times at your next job! Caitlin Crocker and Allegra Green, I’m so excited to have you as my new marketing team! I’m looking forward to all the things we’re going to do together.
Thank you so much, Nekro, for the breath taking ax illustration! It is better than anything I ever could have imagined. Liz Dresner, thank you for your astonishing design work! I hope you do all my future books, as well!
Starr Baer and Jackie Hornberger, thank you for your copyedits! There’s nothing more annoying than getting pulled out of a book because you found a typo. I appreciate the work you do so much!
Dillon James West, thanks for giving the manuscript a read and providing feedback when Holly and I needed fresh eyes! It was so appreciated!
And thank you to everyone else over at Macmillan Children’s and BookEnds who worked behind the scenes to make this book possible!