MARIN
She sits with him because she has no place else to go. As the oldest of the three sisters, she has been with him the longest. For some that status would be cause for celebration, the child who had her parents first. For Marin, it is simply more proof that good fortune has to be made—it is not given. She was the first in line for everything—the first disappointment, the first heartbreak. Her sisters, Trisha and Sonya, watched her, learning from her example. When she refused to cry, she told herself it was for them. To show them that strength was the better option. Now, as an adult, when her face remains dry, void of tears, she accepts that the cause is her inability to feel.
Marin crosses one pantsuit leg over the other. She glances at her watch—seven in the morning. Earlier, Raj assured Marin he would have Gia ready and off to school on time. Marin’s not worried. At fifteen, Gia sets her own schedule and follows it in exacting detail. Never a minute off. Marin is incredibly proud of her daughter’s self-imposed structure, which will serve her well in her career. She applauds herself for her daughter’s trait. Since she’s always been the same way, it’s normal her daughter would follow.
Having climbed the ranks in her finance company to CFO quickly and efficiently, Marin understands there were those who viewed her with contempt. Names whispered behind her back as she chaired meetings and led the company through mergers and acquisitions, one success following another. She worked hard for her place in the world. Others’ jealousies or opinions are not her problem, and she will not allow them to constrain her. She knows plenty of women whose self-esteem is based on the estimations of others. They choose the clothes that are in fashion, even if they don’t suit their taste. They let their colleagues define the boundaries of their careers. Live their lives according to strangers’ rules. Marin congratulates herself for being above the rest. For standing in a place of her own making, for earning her success and creating her perfect life.
Marin took her mother’s call about Brent the morning before, while sitting in her office’s leather chair. After a few minutes listening to the details, she explained she was late for a meeting. She assured Ranee she would try to stop by the hospital that night, but it had taken her a full day before she finally made it to his bedside.
“Happy birthday to me, Daddy,” Marin says. She smooths the hospital sheet over his body. Though he is in his early sixties, his face shows few signs of age.
It’s funny, I don’t feel older. She pulls her hair back, a nervous gesture from childhood. She’s noticed Gia doing the same recently, and makes a mental note to speak to her daughter about it. Nervous habits are a sign of weakness, of vulnerability. Gia can’t afford such displays during college interviews. Regardless that they are two years away. As a sophomore, Gia arguably still has time to prepare for soul-searching questions by the interviewers who will determine her future. The time is now to plant the seeds to enjoy the fruits of the tree.
Marin had not told Raj she was coming to the hospital this morning. He assumed she had an early meeting, and she said nothing to correct his assumption. Not a lie, but a truth left unspoken. One of hundreds over the course of their marriage. In an arranged wedding, they came together as strangers, and they went on to build a life with each other. Their daughter was the result.