The Will

Chapter Seven

 

 

Winded

 

 

 

My high-heeled boots thudded on the boardwalk as the heavy breeze blew my Alexander McQueen scarf behind me.

 

I spied Jake at the window to The Shack through my sunglasses that I was wearing even though the day was cold, gray and threatening rain.

 

I was lamenting my choice of the McQueen scarf. It was cream with hot pink skulls on it (one that was of his signature design) but it wasn’t exactly warm.

 

Still, it was fabulous and fabulous required sacrifice. I knew that from years of practicing fabulous.

 

Or trying to.

 

As if he sensed my approach, Jake turned, his non-sunglassed eyes did an obvious head to toe and his unfortunately attractive lips spread into a wide smile that exposed equally unfortunately attractive teeth.

 

He moved my way as I got close and I heard him call to the window, “Just yell when they’re done, Tom.”

 

“You got it!” was called back by the invisible Tom.

 

I stopped where Jake stopped, at the end of The Shack where there was a tall table with a variety of things on it.

 

“Good morning, Jake,” I greeted.

 

“Mornin’, Slick,” he greeted back, still smiling big.

 

But I blinked.

 

Slick.

 

I finally understood his use of the word “slick.”

 

Good God.

 

He’d given me a nickname.

 

And it was Slick!

 

I opened my mouth to protest this but he stuck a hand toward me and I saw he had two white paper cups.

 

“Coffee,” he pointed out the obvious.

 

Forced by politeness to express gratitude rather than express aversion to my nickname, I took it and said, “Thank you.”

 

“Shit’s here to put in it,” he motioned to the table. He then put his coffee on it and pulled off the white lid.

 

I eyed my selections and noted with no small amount of horror that they had powered creamer and no sweetener.

 

“Thought Fellini was dead,” Jake noted bizarrely, pouring a long stream of sugar from a silver-topped glass container into his coffee.

 

“I beg your pardon?” I asked.

 

He kept pouring for a bit then put the sugar down and turned to me. “Babe, you look like you’re walkin’ on the set of a Fellini movie.”

 

I blinked at him again before I asked, “You’ve seen a Fellini film?”

 

And he smiled big again. “No, but that doesn’t mean you don’t look like a broad from one of those old art house movies where the babes are all sex kitten bombshells dressed real good, wearing sunglasses with scarves flyin’ all over the place.”

 

I stared at him thinking this might be a compliment.

 

A very nice one.

 

Or, a very nice one Jake Spear style.

 

“Scarves, I’ll add, that don’t do shit when it’s fifty degrees but the wind chill makes it feel like forty,” he went on.

 

I kept staring at him.

 

“Josie? You awake?” he asked when this went on for some time.

 

“You use too much sugar in your coffee,” I blurted.

 

“Yeah,” he said, going back to his coffee that he was now stirring. “You’re not the first woman to tell me that.”

 

I found that interesting.

 

He looked at me, down to the table then at me again and asked, “You gonna set up your coffee?”

 

I hid my distaste as I looked at what was on offer to “set up my coffee” then I looked back at him and shook my head.

 

I usually took a splash of skim milk and a sweetener.

 

That morning, I’d drink it black.

 

“Right, let’s sit down,” Jake said and tossed his stirrer in the (filthy and encrusted with a variety of things, not all of them coffee) little white bin provided on the table.

 

He then started moving to the mélange of unappealing white plastic chairs with their equally unappealing white steel (liberally dusted with rust) tables that likely saw cleaning only through the salty air and sea breeze.

 

“Sit down?” I asked Jake’s back, following him. “Outside?”

 

He selected a table (there was a wide selection seeing as no one was there) and turned to me. “You got a problem with outside?”

 

“Not normally. Al fresco dining is usually quite lovely. But not when the wind chill factor is forty.”

 

“Al fresco dining,” he repeated.

 

“Dining outside,” I explained and this got another smile.

 

“Know what it is, Slick,” he stated. I opened my mouth to share how I felt about this nickname but he returned to his earlier subject before I could say a word. “You need a decent scarf.”

 

“This is a decent scarf,” I retorted. “It’s Alexander McQueen.”

 

“Maybe so but I’m not sure Alexander whoever’s been to Maine.”

 

I wasn’t either. Alas, he nor his genius was with us any longer so if he hadn’t, that would now be impossible.

 

This conversation was ridiculous and he wasn’t moving so I decided to seat myself. As I did, I longed for some antiseptic wipes (about a hundred of them, for the chair and the table). Since I didn’t have any, I settled in a chair and sipped the coffee.

 

After I did that, I stared at the cup mostly because I was surprised that it was robust and flavorful.

 

“Tom doesn’t f*ck around with coffee,” Jake murmured and I turned my eyes to him.

 

“It appears this is so.”

 

He smiled at me again.

 

I gingerly set my coffee on the table and equally gingerly shrugged my handbag off my shoulder to join it.

 

“Your mornin’ been good?” he asked quietly.

 

I picked up my coffee and looked at him. “Thus far.”

 

“When do you go to your friends’ place?”

 

“After this,” I said before taking a sip.

 

His head cocked slightly to the side. “You sure you’re up for that? That’s a lot, what with all you’re already dealin’ with.”

 

He was right.

 

Even so.

 

“Mr. Weaver needs a break.”

 

“He may need one, Josie, but I think he’d get it if you weren’t up to giving it to him.”

 

“I offered,” I pointed out. “I can’t renege now.”

 

He said nothing but watched me even as he took a sip from his coffee.

 

When our silence lasted for some time, I shared, “I like your children.”

 

“Yeah, they liked you too.”

 

I felt my brows rise for I found this surprising.

 

Ethan liked me, I knew. I couldn’t miss that, what with the hugs and the like.

 

Amber, I wasn’t certain.

 

So I asked, “Even Amber?”

 

“Amber likes boys, makeup, shoes, clothes and boys is worth a repeat since she likes them so much. You’re all about three of those so I figure she’ll put up with you. What she doesn’t like is schoolwork, her dad, her mom, helpin’ out around the house and pumping gas into her car. I know that last one since I’ve had to go get her five times when she’s run out of gas and she’s had her license for two months.”

 

“Oh dear,” I murmured.

 

“That’s about it,” he agreed.

 

Wishing to make him feel better, I asked, “Isn’t it normal for a girl her age not to like those things, including her parents?”

 

“Maybe,” he replied then continued, “But she doesn’t like me because I’m precisely what you said I am. A dad, a protective one and one who knows what that Noah kid has on his mind when he asks her to a concert in Boston which would mean they gotta spend the night in Boston. And I’m strict about that shit and her gettin’ decent grades because my girl’s smart as f*ck and she could do something with her brain, so she should. And she doesn’t like her mother because she’s about gettin’ laid, the more often the better, the younger the guy she lets in there the better. The bitch hit mid-life crisis early, shot right to cougar and Amber’s not big on her mom bein’ competition for boyfriends.”

 

I gasped loudly at this shocking news.

 

Jake repeated, “That’s about it,” when I did.

 

“Is she, well…Ethan’s—?”

 

He shook his head. “Conner and Amber have the same mom. Married a woman in between, thankfully didn’t get her knocked up seein’ as that lasted three months. Ethan’s got a different mom. That lasted three years. She lives in Raleigh now with her new man and she’s all about shovin’ her nose up his ass and that means treatin’ his kids like gold and forgettin’ she made one of her own.”

 

“Oh no,” I whispered, not liking the sound of that at all.

 

He muttered, “Yep. I can pick ‘em,” and took another sip of coffee.

 

I took one too thinking, poor Ethan.

 

And poor Amber.

 

“Yo! Jake! Food’s up!” I heard yelled through the wind and I looked back at The Shack to see two Styrofoam containers sitting on the ledge outside the window but Tom was still hidden in the murky shadows of the diminutive ramshackle structure.

 

“Be back,” Jake said, got up and went to get our food.

 

He came back and set mine in front of me. This included a see-through plastic wrapped parcel that held a napkin and plastic cutlery.

 

“Crab, cream cheese and green onion omelet,” Jake declared.

 

I couldn’t believe it but that actually sounded delicious.

 

Tentatively, I opened the container.

 

It looked delicious too and the aroma wafting up smelled divine.

 

I set my coffee aside, grabbed my plastic wrapped parcel and asked, “How long were you together with Conner and Amber’s mom?’

 

“Seven years,” he answered. “She lives local and I wish she’d move to Raleigh too.” He paused then finished on a mutter, “Or maybe Bangladesh.”

 

I turned my eyes to him and smiled at his joke.

 

Then I looked back down to my omelet and thus missed his eyes changing before they dropped to my mouth.

 

“You, um…said that Amber charges money to look after Ethan and that Gran would watch him after school.” I forked into my omelet and brought it to my mouth as I looked back at him. “While I’m in Magdalene, I can help out if you need someone to watch him.”

 

“Brings us full circle, Slick,” he stated and before I could get into the “Slick” business, he continued, “You thought more on your plans?”

 

Actually, I had, over a glass of wine consumed staring at the dark sea from the window seat of the light room last night.

 

Therefore, I shared them with him.

 

“I think I’ve decided to stay for a bit. Take a kind of sabbatical. I can do a lot of what I do for Henry from here, given a phone and Internet, the second Gran doesn’t have but it’s easy enough to get access. So I won’t get bored. But after losing Gran, I’d like to feel”—I searched for a word and found it—“settled for a while.”

 

I took my bite and he was right. It didn’t knock me on my behind but it was shockingly delicious. It wasn’t just crab, cream cheese and green onion. There was a subtle hint of garlic as well, the pepper was clearly freshly ground and the crab was succulent.

 

Superb.

 

“That’s a good idea, Josie.” I heard Jake say and I lifted my eyes to him to see him studying me intently. “Slow down a bit. Deal with Lydie passin’.” He grinned. “Hang with us, people who loved her like you did.”

 

After years of a jets-set lifestyle that was interesting and fulfilling, that still sounded marvelous.

 

That said, there were things to discuss, things to know.

 

And I set about doing that.

 

I dug back into my omelet and said before taking another bite, “I’d like to understand that better, Jake.”

 

“Understand what better?”

 

I chewed, swallowed and looked to him again. “How you came to know Gran so well.”

 

“We don’t got the time to get into that before you gotta be at the Weavers.”

 

That sounded like a stall tactic and I opened my mouth but he lifted a hand.

 

“Tell you it all, honey. All of it. But seriously, it might not be a long story but it might bring up questions and I’d like to have the time and focus to answer them.”

 

That was thoughtful, nice and I had a feeling he was right. I would have a lot of questions and I’d like him to have the time and focus to answer them. So I nodded and took another bite.

 

“Owe you dinner, take you out, give it all to you.” I heard him say as I munched.

 

I swallowed and looked to him. “That sounds doable.”

 

He grinned.

 

My phone in my purse rang.

 

I let it and continued eating.

 

It kept ringing.

 

“You gonna get that?”

 

I looked back to Jake and answered, “No. It’s rude to answer the phone during a meal or in someone’s company.”

 

He grinned again and said, “Babe, don’t mind and we’re not at a meal. We’re at The Shack.”

 

I wasn’t certain about the distinction but our conversation turned moot when my phone stopped ringing.

 

I took another bite of omelet.

 

My phone started ringing again.

 

I felt my brows draw together.

 

“Babe, get it. Like I said, don’t mind and someone obviously wants you,” Jake urged.

 

I nodded, set aside my cutlery that was so light I was worried the breeze would sweep it away (so I tucked it as best I could under what remained of my omelet) and reached to my purse.

 

I got my phone and the display informed me the caller was Henry.

 

I looked to Jake and said, “My apologies, Jake. It’s Henry. Something might be wrong.”

 

His face changed minutely, going slightly blank but more noncommittal and he jerked up his chin in what I was deducing was his telling me I should take the call.

 

I took it and put the phone to my ear, greeting, “Henry.”

 

“What the f*ck?”

 

I blinked at the table because Henry had never said this to me, nor had he ever spoken in that tone. Or at least, with the last, not to me.

 

“I…pardon?” I asked.

 

“What the f*ck, Josephine?”

 

What on earth?

 

“I-I’m sorry,” I stammered. “Is something wrong?”

 

“Yes, something’s wrong. You haven’t called in two days.”

 

Oh dear. I actually hadn’t.

 

“Henry—”

 

“Worried about you Josephine. Told you to keep in touch, check in, let me know you’re all right.”

 

“You were traveling to Rome yesterday,” I reminded him.

 

“Yes, and that flight’s long but it doesn’t take a year. And you know my schedule, Josephine. You know when I left, you know when I landed, and you know when I turn my phone off and on for a flight.”

 

I did. He waited until the last second to turn it off and he turned it on the instant he could when we’d land.

 

“I’m sorry, Henry. Things have been somewhat…strange here.”

 

“Strange how?” he asked immediately.

 

I sat back and trained my eyes to my lap. “Strange in a variety of ways. None of which I can get into right now because I’m at breakfast with Jake and then I have to go over to the Weavers. But I’ll call you later and explain.”

 

“Jake?”

 

“Yes. Jake.”

 

“Who’s Jake?”

 

“A friend of Gran’s.”

 

“Have I met him?”

 

Henry had been to Magdalene with me frequently and met a number of Gran’s friends and acquaintances.

 

But I was relatively certain he had not met Jake.

 

“I don’t think so,” I answered.

 

“He one of her bridge cronies?”

 

The thought of Jake playing bridge with Gran’s cronies, none of whom was under seventy years of age, made me smile at my lap.

 

“No.”

 

“Then who is he, Josephine?”

 

I vaguely wondered why he was so determined to know.

 

I didn’t ask that.

 

I said, “It’s a long story, Henry, and I’m sorry, but I don’t have time to tell it to you right now. I’m sitting outside on the wharf and my omelet is getting cold. It’s delicious and I’d like to enjoy it while it’s warm. Not to mention, Jake’s sitting right here and it’s rude to chat on the phone when I’m in company.”

 

This was met with silence and this lasted quite some time.

 

“Henry? Have I lost you?” I called into the silence.

 

“No, you haven’t lost me,” he answered. “You’re on the wharf eating an omelet?”

 

“A rather delicious one,” I shared.

 

He said nothing.

 

“Henry?” I called.

 

“Phone me when you get a chance,” he ordered oddly tersely. “I don’t care how late it is here. Just call. I’m concerned. You’re coping with a great deal and you’re on your own.”

 

That was proof Jake was wrong. Henry was irate because he was concerned about me. Yes, he was my employer, but he also cared.

 

However, Henry was wrong too. I wasn’t on my own.

 

Jake was with me.

 

This caused that warmth to return even if all around me was cold but I ignored that and assured Henry, “I’ll phone.”

 

“And I’m telling Daniel to cancel Paris.”

 

I blinked at my lap then looked up to the boats bobbing along the wharf. “You can’t do that.”

 

“I can, Josephine, and I’m going to.”

 

“But, it’s a video shoot that took months to set up,” I reminded him.

 

“They’ll have to find another director,” he told me.

 

“Dee-Amond only works with you,” I continued recounting things he knew.

 

And Dee-Amond did only work with Henry and had only worked with Henry for the last seventeen years.

 

He was a renowned hip-hop artist who’d started his own fashion line, which was remarkable and thus quite successful. Henry did all his work on Amond’s music videos and his fashion shoots.

 

Amond was also a very handsome, though somewhat frightening black man, who had, in his early days, beat a number of what he called “raps,” the charges being rather violent.

 

He’d since settled and he could be very charming. This was why I spent a particularly enjoyable night with him after a party that we attended after the VMAs seven years prior. After that, he’d asked me to join his “posse” but I’d refused, with some hesitation (this was because he was very charming, and as I’d mentioned, also very handsome and our night had been just that enjoyable).

 

But I could never leave Henry.

 

Then again, there was also the small fact I was not a woman who would be comfortable as a member of a “posse.”

 

Henry never knew, of course. I was always, without fail, discreet and fortunately Amond was too.

 

“Then he’ll have to reschedule when we can both do it,” Henry replied.

 

“Henry, I hardly need to be—”

 

He interrupted me. “Are you going to meet me in Paris?”

 

I hesitated, looked back to my lap and whispered, “Things are such that that’s unlikely.”

 

“Then I’m canceling.”

 

I sighed before I asked, “Can we discuss this later?”

 

“Right. Your omelet and Jake.”

 

His tone was unusual and vaguely disturbing.

 

I pressed my lips together.

 

“I’ll speak with you soon,” he said.

 

“Of course,” I murmured.

 

“Until then, Josephine.”

 

“Until then, Henry. Good-bye.”

 

He didn’t say good-bye. He simply disconnected.

 

He’d never done that before either.

 

I stared at my phone for a moment before putting it back in my bag and regaining my cutlery, saying distractedly to Jake, my eyes on my food, “I apologize. That lasted too long.”

 

“And it didn’t sound like it went real good.”

 

At Jake’s comment, I turned my eyes to him. “He’s canceling work to come to Magdalene.”

 

I watched as his mouth got tight for some strange reason and I watched as, seconds later, it relaxed as if he’d willed it to do so to hide his reaction, which was even stranger.

 

“It’ll be good, you have your people around you.”

 

“He shouldn’t cancel. It’s a video shoot. That’s even more involved than a photo shoot. They’re shooting on location, so they need to get permission, permits. There’s a good deal of money tied up in it, not to mention all the personnel.”

 

“You’re worth f*cking all that.”

 

I stared at him as that warmth swept through me again but I replied, “It’s foolish.”

 

“You’re worth bein’ that too.”

 

His words were making me feel such that I decided to return my attention to my probably now chiller-cabinet-cold omelet. So I did.

 

After I took a bite and found it was, indeed, now chiller-cabinet-cold, Jake asked, “When’s he coming?”

 

I looked back to him. “The job in Rome lasts just over a week. If he cancels Paris, he’ll be free to fly here next Saturday.”

 

“Right.”

 

I took a sip from my coffee cup and returned my attention to my omelet.

 

“Your offer, I’m gonna take you up on it,” Jake declared and my eyes went back to him.

 

“My offer?”

 

“Lookin’ after Ethan,” he said. “He, Con and Amber would go over to your place a lot after school. I got shit on, it falls to Con and Amber to step up, look after their little brother, take him places, shit like that. Lydie wasn’t real young, but the kids loved her. It wasn’t really her lookin’ out for them so much as all of them havin’ each other and my kids havin’ someone to go to when school was done. Like my kids havin’ good in their lives and Lydie was the best.”

 

He was not wrong about that.

 

He was also not done speaking.

 

“And Amber needed a good, decent woman in her life. Lydie was that too.”

 

She was indeed.

 

He went on.

 

“Part of Amber bein’ a pain in the ass is she doesn’t know what to do with the hurt she’s feelin’ with Lydie gone. Ethan lets shit hang out, too young to bury it or really know how to deal with it. Con was tight with Lydie too but he’s not a kid anymore and thinks he’s gotta hide emotion to be a man. With that all around Amber, she doesn’t know which way to go. And Lydie gave her a lot which means she lost a lot.” His voice dipped lower when he finished, “I figure you know all about that.”

 

I very much did.

 

I didn’t agree verbally. I nodded.

 

“It’ll be good they got a bit of Lydie to fill that hole. That being you.”

 

I was not a mother but I could see a father would think this true.

 

And this felt oddly nice, filling that hole, and that hole being the one Gran left, not to mention him thinking I could fill it as any hole Gran left, I knew too well, was enormous.

 

I nodded again.

 

“That said, Amber’s grounded for a week so her ass is tied to Ethan or the house or Lavender House, you take them on. After that, you’re around a while, it’d be cool you give her a break. She’s sixteen years old. That’s too damn early to be a mom to an eight year old kid but with all the shit I gotta do with the club and the gym, I had to lean on her.”

 

“I can give her a break,” I said quietly.

 

“That’d be appreciated.”

 

“I…should I start today?”

 

“No. You keep settlin’ in. Tomorrow’s Saturday. Amber’s not goin’ on her date because of the shit that came out of her mouth yesterday. They’re covered. But if you could start next week, I’d be grateful.”

 

I nodded yet again.

 

“Since Amber’s on enforced babysitting duties, I’ll take you out to dinner tomorrow night. Fill you in.”

 

Dinner with Jake.

 

Alone.

 

Again, that strange anticipation I’d experienced all the day before hit me and I knew in that moment that it was because I enjoyed being around this man. What I didn’t know was why I’d anticipate seeing him, that feeling coming on strong, when he was sitting right next to me.

 

“Dress up, I’m takin’ you to a decent place,” he ordered.

 

That anticipation spiked in a way I felt it in my nipples.

 

My nipples.

 

Oh dear.

 

“I…uh…all right,” I replied.

 

“Be at your house at seven,” he said.

 

Finally, a decent hour for dinner.

 

“I’ll be ready.”

 

“You done with that?” he asked, tipping his head to my omelet.

 

I nodded.

 

“Then let’s get you to the Weavers.”

 

By this, he meant he would collect all of our refuse, leaving me only to grab my coffee cup. This he did, depositing it in the big barrel with its black plastic liner that served as a rubbish bin for, perhaps, the entirety of the wharf and not just The Shack.

 

He called, “Later, Tom,” and got back a, “Later, Jake.”

 

I looked and still, no Tom could be seen in The Shack.

 

“Your omelets are lovely.” I decided to yell because they were and he probably knew that but it always felt nice getting a compliment.

 

“Thanks, darlin’!” I heard called back but still could see no Tom.

 

I completely forgot about Tom when Jake grabbed my hand and started us up the boardwalk.

 

I also completely forgot to breathe and my heart completely forgot to beat.

 

We walked, Jake guiding us to my car, and as we did, although I couldn’t breathe and mostly couldn’t think, what I could think was that walking with me holding my hand seemed altogether natural to Jake.

 

Then again, he’d had three wives, he had a daughter and in our brief acquaintance, he’d shown he could be affectionate and it was doubtful he was only this way with me.

 

For me, I had never, not once, not since high school, walked holding a man’s hand.

 

And doing it, that…that knocked me right on my ass.

 

In a nice way that felt splendid.

 

“Thank you for breakfast,” I forced myself to say when I’d forced myself to breathe again.

 

“No worries,” he muttered.

 

I turned my head and looked up at him. “You were right, it was delicious.”

 

He dipped his chin and looked down at me. “Told you it’d knock you on your ass.”

 

Staring in his eyes, now a stormy gray that seemed to reflect the skies above, I knew I was.

 

I was getting knocked on my ass.

 

But not by an omelet.

 

By something altogether different.

 

And this feeling would continue when he stopped me at the driver’s side door to my car and leaned in. He brushed his lips against my cheek, which gave me another waft of his attractive cologne as well as an altogether too appealing scrape of his stubble (he had again not shaved that morning).

 

He pulled back and, smiling, murmured, “Later, babe.”

 

“Yes. See you tomorrow night.”

 

He winked, squeezed my hand, let it go and I watched him walk to his truck.

 

I forced myself to get in my car and drive to the Weavers’.

 

But I did it feeling a peculiar feeling.

 

That being knocked on my ass.

 

Thus winded.

 

And not minding at all.

 

* * * * *

 

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