My skin felt chilly without the heat of his body pressing into me. “We said no presents, remember?”
“It's not exactly a present.” Reaching in the side pocket of his suitcase, Jess pulled out a packet and handed it to me. I looked at the manila envelope, feeling a surge of confusion. I’d told him that I would sign any agreement he wanted to protect his family and his money. Jess refused to even have the conversation with me. Our wedding night was an interesting time to bring it up, but if he wanted something in writing then I would agree to it.
“I told you I would sign anything you wanted.” I smiled, trying to speed this up. Quicker the ink dried, the faster we could get back to the silk dress and how much I wanted to feel his naked skin.
“Al, I’ve given it a lot of thought. So don't think I'm throwin’ this at you lightly. Open it.”
My fingers opened the top and pulled out something familiar, something very wrong. “Damn it, Jess. What are you doing?”
“Look at all the pages. It’s not what you think.”
“I said destroy that stupid list. Now you’re giving it back to me as my wedding gift?” My fingers dug into the familiar paper as the anger festered. “What kind of twisted shit are you trying to do?”
“I know this is painful for you. I know you’ve worked hard at lettin’ it go. Maybe you did it for me. And I’m grateful. But this was always bigger than me. That’s why I didn’t rip it up. If you wanted it gone, you would have done it yourself. Look at the other pages.”
My fingers flipped through the stack. They appeared to be a contract and bank papers drawn up for Alexandra Mason under something called, The Mason List. “I don’t understand.”
“I had my lawyer set it up but I couldn’t give it to you until we were married. I thought ‘bout tellin’ you but I wanted it to be a surprise. Just think ‘bout it, Al. I’ve got the money in there and some investments. It should be self-sufficient once it gets goin’. So make it happen.”
“Make what happen?”
“The Mason List. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You can make it good.”
“I told you that I had wanted to pay your family back but I realized it wouldn’t make this better. So I don’t understand what you are suggesting here.”
“You’re gonna pay it back, just not the way you thought you would. I want you to go find her, Al. The girl like you. Help her out when she has no one else. Make her hate the Masons as much as you did.” A smile smirked on his lips. “Make her angry. Make her want somethin’ better. And then, you’ve paid it forward, which is a hell of a lot better than givin’ some rich family a check.”
I skimmed over the papers feeling a pain in my gut. I remembered Sadie’s words. Only you know what resolution will give you a sense of absolution; a sense of peace. I had made the right decision that gave the absolute resolution. I let it go so I could marry Jess today. He was happy. I was happy. Since the moment I gave Jess the paper, I’d felt a sense of freedom. I slipped the pages back into the envelope and looked into his sweet face. Good intentions, not malice, came from him tonight. I knew deep in my heart, Jess never would hurt me on purpose. I wanted the happiness to continue, so I kept the peace; a fight for another day.
“I will think about it.” Leaning forward, I kissed his lips.
“You promise?”
“Yes, I promise because I love you.” My fingers slipped inside the collar of his shirt, feeling his warm skin. I opened the top button and leaned forward to kiss his neck. Pushing the next one free, I undressed the boy who was now my husband. The anxiety of his proposition faded away as Jess laid me back against that soft, expensive bed, letting his fingers run through the long curls of my hair.
“You’re still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” His breath felt warm on my neck. “And this might be the most amazin’ dress ever,” he whispered, running his hands over the fabric.
Jess kissed me, letting his mouth tug on my bottom lip. My breathing got heavier, feeling his fingers touch me. “Keep your eyes open, Al. I want you to look at me.” He smiled one of those sweet grins. “I never want to stop seein’ you like this.”
My heart caught in my chest as I gazed up at Jess. It still felt unbelievable. I had actually married my blue-eyed boy.
Chapter 47
When I was twenty-five…
Our vacation days sped by as I took Jess from one place to the next in Paris. We visited a few friends I still had left in the city and boxed up my belongings in the apartment. He suggested keeping it, but I said no at the idea. My heart hurt just imagining staying there without him. I once heard that being in love in Paris was different than any other place in the world. For me, that hazy, warm feeling only came when Jess pressed his lips to my skin under the meadow sky. Paris was secondary.
After the honeymoon, we returned to Sprayberry. Jess continued running the ranch. The spring cattle sold, giving credibility to his new position in the shadow of Frank. By May, our house was under construction out by the stump. I continued to search for my purpose in Arlis. The days were filled with fairs, pancake suppers, church picnics, and the slew of other activities that rotated through the town square. I even covered for Caroline at Jeeter’s for a few weeks so she could take a vacation with my father.
In July, I opened my own private studio in a vacant building that became available close to the hardware store. I wanted to advertise to the surrounding counties, remembering how difficult it was taking lessons all the way in Dallas. My studio would give kids and even adults a way to learn closer to home.
Occasionally, I traveled back to Austin to meet with my old advisor. He often had a project or competition he wanted me to enter. I won a few shows and sold some of my entries. Sometimes, he suggested an open position in another city, but I always said no. I didn’t want to commute or spend time away for any type of job. I had promised to live with Jess at Sprayberry and I wanted that more than anything else in world.
Chapter 48
When I was twenty-six…
Today was my birthday and the day the furniture finally arrived for our new house. I had spent the morning helping the mover’s setup each room. It felt good. It felt so incredibly good each time I walked through the front door, except tonight I wasn’t walking.
“Jess put me down.”
“Keep your eyes closed.” He clamped his arms tighter around my body as his boots stepped on the wooden porch.
“I’ve seen the inside of the house a hundred times. I even setup the damn furniture this morning.”
“This is our first official night here so just do this for me.”
“You are impossible Jessup Mason.” I grinned into his blue eyes.
“Closed, Alex.”
“Fine.” I shut my eyes, snuggling closer to his chest as he opened the door. I heard his boots on the hardwood floor in the living room. I loved our new house. It wasn’t over-the-top like the Manor that sat on the other side of Sprayberry. Our home was simple and very much us. My favorite part was the porch that overlooked the stump and the beautiful view of the meadow. I even installed a porch swing.
Jess continued to walk toward the dining room. His hand let go of me and I heard the chair pull out from the table. Tilting me down, my butt touched the seat. “Ok, you can open them.”
Slowly, I lifted my eyelashes to a dark room lit with about hundred candles; the entire table and counter were covered with glowing flames that trailed into the living room and around the fireplace and on the coffee table. In front of me, were several pans of food and a small cake with the words, Happy Birthday Alex in scripted letters.
We both had been so busy with the move that I just planned to do nothing for my birthday. Turning to look up at his sweet face, I felt that pain in my chest. “You didn’t have to do this, Jess.”
“Well, Caroline made the food. I just set it up.”