Not at all, Irving said.
Harrison picked up the pack and tapped it on the bedside table and jerked his hand so a cigarette poked out of the torn corner. He raised the pack and put the cigarette between his teeth. Then he picked up the matches and struck one and held the flame against the tip of the cigarette and took the first few drags and looked at Irving and said, how is she?
She’s doing well, Jim; she’s good. She’s been part of church life now for a couple of years. It’s such a blessing. She’s been doing amazing work with the children.
She’s joined your church?
She gave her life to Christ and He’s been doing wonderful things.
Is she happy? he said.
She is.
I’m glad to hear that.
Yes.
You together?
Oh, no, Jim; that’s not what I meant. I’m not involved with her in that way.
Okay, he said. Does she—forget it.
Go on.
Nah. Don’t worry about it.
Sure?
Yeah. Thanks for stopping by.
It’s good to see you doing so well, Jim, Irving said, rising from the chair. No need to get up; I’ll see myself out.
Harrison nodded. His throat was dry.
Take care, John, he said, reaching for a stick of Beemans. He wasn’t looking, and his hand knocked over the glass which fell to the floor and smashed.
Shit! Harrison said. Sorry—
It’s fine! Irving said, brushing glass from his shoes. Honestly. No harm done.
He looked up at Harrison and said, it wasn’t your fault.
Harrison’s conscience reverberated. He was momentarily stunned.
What did you just say? Harrison said.
Irving moved his chair back beside the wardrobe and said, no harm done, really; it’s fine.
No, Harrison said, after that.
Oh, Irving said, thinking. It’s not your fault.
Harrison stared at him, then began to cry.
A few months later, Walker augered in doing a public relations stunt for General Electric. His F-104 Starfighter collided midair with an XB-70 Valkyrie bomber; an evil, delta-winged beast with a horrendous wake vortex off its wingtips. Not long after the funeral, Grace ran into Jim at the hardware store. They shared an awkward hello and embraced briefly.
Nails, she said. I need nails.
Well, you’ve come to the right place, he said.
Neither of them said anything for a moment.
How have you been? she said. You look healthy.
Good, he said. Thanks. Apart from—
Yeah, she said. Me too. I’m seeing Grace and the kids tomorrow, actually. I still—I can’t—I mean, when something hangs over you for so long …
Yeah, he said. Yeah.
Thought I might’ve seen you at the funeral.
I was there.
Oh.
Harrison didn’t say anything. He looked away.
Did you go to the other one? she said.
He shook his head. Been to enough of those over the years, he said.
Too many, she said.
Goddamn corporate bullshit … he should’ve never been up there. He’s NASA’s chief test pilot, f’chrissakes! All for some goddamn photograph.
You’ve got every right to be angry, she said.
Harrison didn’t say anything. He was now staring at the floor.
When I found out you were back, Grace said, I wanted to stop by—Pancho … She didn’t think it’d be a good idea.
Oh, he said. I didn’t know that.
Yeah, she said. She was pretty insistent.
She can be that way.
Yeah, she said. Grace and Joe filled me in from time to time.
Same, he said.
She gave a little smile and pulled a finger across the edge of each eye, now wet.
Shit, she said. Sorry.
It’s okay, he said.
I promised myself I wouldn’t get upset if I ran into you.
I’m sorry, he said.
No, it’s okay, she said. It’s not you, I’m just getting emotional.
It’s okay, he said.
He touched her arm. Between them was a terrible ache.
Goddamn it, she said, trying to stem the flow with her fingers. Then she fell into him and he put his arms around her and he held her tight. They stayed like that for a minute, maybe more; he wasn’t sure.
I’m sorry, he said.
I’m sorry too, she said.
They parted. She dried her eyes with her palms. A bell rang as someone entered the shop.
Have you seen Chuck? she said. Air Force brought him back to Edwards.
Yeah, seen him a coupla times. Been huntin once or twice too.
She nodded.
Glennis and I have stayed pretty close, she said.
I’m glad, he said. You should come over sometime. Really. I’ll talk to Pancho.
Good luck with that, she said, giving a little laugh. But thanks, I’d like that.
Okay, he said.
God, it feels like years, she said.
It is, he said. Or was.
Yeah, she said.
Yeah, he said.
Okay, she said. Well. I’m gonna get my nails, which I think are over there somewhere, but it was good to see you, Jim. I’m glad we ran into each other.
Me too, he said. Say hi to Glennis for me.
I will, she said. See you.
See you, he said.