Rock Chick Revolution

Chapter Five

 

Backbone

 

Rock Chick Rewind

 

 

 

One week later …

 

I sat in my Mustang outside the Balducci brothers’ pool hall.

 

I had my gun in my purse.

 

As Darius promised, he’d taken me to Zip’s Gun Emporium. I’d picked out a little .22 I could fit in most of my bags and Darius arranged for Zip to open late so I could go to his range with no one around, thus no one to see me, and practice.

 

I also ran once a day (mostly, and I was right—I rocked running gear and those awesome headbands, though I was only beginning to rock running; that shit was not easy). I went to Zip’s one or two nights a week (depending on my shifts at Brother’s). And last week, to get my mind off Ren (though Darius didn’t know why I was fired up to go), Darius had taken me down to C. Springs to run the warehouse maze.

 

This was also not easy, and I knew this because I went through the drill six times and shot at least one innocent each time. I felt like a moron until Darius told me he’d taken that trip down to C. Springs three times before he ran the drill and passed.

 

We were going back next week, but not for me to go back to the warehouse. For me to run the defensive/evasive driving course before the weather turned iffy seeing as it was September (or, as it went in Denver, since the weather was always iffy, iffier).

 

But I was there, outside the Balducci’s pool hall, with my gun because last night, Ricky Balducci raped Sadie.

 

No, that wasn’t right. He’d beat the shit out of her and then he raped her.

 

And I’d been mean to her.

 

I didn’t know she was Hector’s. I thought they’d be sworn enemies seeing as Hector was the undercover DEA agent who brought down Sadie’s drug lord father (suffice to say, trouble—this time crazy, serious, heartbreaking trouble—had hit a Rock Chick).

 

I learned that morning she was not only his, but also that the reason I’d been mean to her—that she’d done something nasty to Daisy at a society party—did not happen.

 

Daisy was beside herself with fury and sadness. The first, because Marcus knew Sadie never talked trash about Daisy and he didn’t tell her, for reasons I got but were now very distressing. The second because Daisy had liked Sadie before she thought she talked trash about her. They were friends. Daisy cut her out and now her friend had gotten raped.

 

And I’d been a bitch. A bitch to a petite, scared woman who looked like a fairy princess and came to my brother yesterday to get his protection.

 

I’d been a bitch.

 

God.

 

I closed my eyes tight. My hand fisting, everything in me beating back the desire to grab my purse with my gun, waltz into that pool hall and pistol whip Ricky Balducci, an a*shole who’d beat the shit out of a fairy princess and violated her, to within an inch of his life

 

I fought back that urge and when I opened my eyes, automatically, I scanned my mirrors.

 

That was when I saw the hips in suit trousers approaching my car.

 

My body stilled.

 

I knew those hips.

 

I loved those hips.

 

I missed those hips.

 

I swallowed.

 

Those hips approached the passenger side and Ren’s handsome face appeared in the window.

 

His eyes locked on mine and I stopped breathing.

 

He lifted his hand and tapped a knuckle on the window.

 

I sucked in needed breath, hit the locks then reached out and grabbed my purse, clearing it from the seat seconds before Ren’s fine ass settled in it.

 

He slammed his door and turned to me.

 

“Hey,” he said softly.

 

“Hey,” I replied, but my voice sounded croaky so I cleared my throat.

 

“How you doin’?” he asked, still gentle.

 

“Good,” I lied in answer. I was not good, not with him in my car looking beautiful and being sweet. Not with me being a bitch to a girl who’d been raped. Not simply knowing someone who’d been raped. “You?” I asked.

 

He looked at me, his eyes traveling down my torso before his head turned to look at the pool hall.

 

He came back to me. “Been better.”

 

He knew Sadie. He also knew what happened to Sadie.

 

This was not a surprise. Marcus, Vito, and Sadie’s now incarcerated dad, Seth Townsend, all occupied the upper echelons of Denver’s criminal underworld. It would make sense they and their families would hobnob.

 

“Can I ask what you’re doin’ here, honey?” Ren requested.

 

I held his eyes and whispered, “You know.”

 

He studied me a moment before nodding. He knew.

 

Then he said, “Let me deal with it.”

 

On one hand, I liked this idea. I’d seen Ren in action against Luke. On the badass scale, Luke blew the lid off, totally redefining the scale. And Ren not only held his own against Luke, he matched him. It was a fair fight that didn’t go long enough to declare a clear winner. Seeing this, I knew Ren could undoubtedly f*ck Ricky Balducci up big time. Because if he could go mano a mano against Luke, he could kick anyone’s ass.

 

And if he did, I wanted to watch.

 

On the other hand, I’d been a bitch to Sadie, a girl who was Hector’s, which meant she was a Rock Chick (though she didn’t know it yet), which meant she was going to be family. And I’d done it the day of the night she got raped.

 

I needed to make amends.

 

“Zano, I—”

 

“Let me deal with it, Ally.”

 

“What are you gonna do?” I asked, and his anger hit the car, stifling me, just as his eyes flashed with a light that even I found scary.

 

Right.

 

There you go.

 

Ren was going to deal with it.

 

“Don’t hesitate to make a mess,” I invited, giving in, and I actually felt him relax as the heavy air shifted out of my Mustang.

 

“Dry cleaning blood out of suits costs a f*ckin’ whack,” he replied.

 

Yikes!

 

I was absolutely not going to go there.

 

“Take care of yourself, honey,” he said quietly, ending our conversation, ending our time together, reminding me he’d ended us and that I was the reason there was no us.

 

In other words, major ouch.

 

I powered through the hurt and nodded. “You too, Ren.”

 

He continued to hold my eyes, and long moments passed. Those moments feeling like he was waiting for me to say something, do something.

 

I did neither.

 

Then he turned, opened the door and angled out.

 

I watched him saunter to the pool hall and kept watching, even after he disappeared through the door.

 

I did this with a knot in my stomach, something stuck in my throat.

 

Then I pulled my shit together. Something I’d had to do a lot since Ren entered my life, and more after he exited it.

 

I decided I’d find another way to make amends to Sadie, though I didn’t know how I’d do that.

 

I just knew I would.

 

I turned the ignition, put my car into gear and drove away.

 

* * * * *

 

One month, one and a half weeks later…

 

I was at Sadie’s art opening at her gallery, but a more apt way to put it was that I was in hell.

 

This was because Ren was there and he was with another woman.

 

This was also because he was avoiding me.

 

This was not surprising. We were done and he was with another woman. I got a look, a chin lift and that was it.

 

It was the classy thing to do, not ignoring me, not getting in my space and being sweet or cool, and thus reminding me we were over and all I was missing.

 

Still, it hurt.

 

But this was mostly because, even avoiding him, that didn’t mean my eyes, against my strong directive, kept moving to him.

 

Therefore I’d caught him watching Ava.

 

Worse, he did it with a soft look on his face I’d never seen. I was too far away to be certain it was longing. I just knew it was something.

 

He was still hung up on her.

 

The only thing I had going for me was that I looked hot. My dress was awesome, showed enough skin and was tight enough to be slinky, but not enough of either to be slutty. And my high-heeled sandals were my own, and they were even better.

 

That was all I had.

 

Sadie and Hector were, I was hoping, heading toward the Rock Chick Reward. That was, everything got sorted and they moved into their version of happily ever after. There were still issues, all the Rock Chicks knew, and it wasn’t only because of the Balducci brothers (all of them were giving Sadie problems), we just couldn’t put our finger on what.

 

“You okay?” I heard from my side, and I turned my head and saw Indy there.

 

My best friend had lots of fabulous red hair and a lush body of the Ava variety. In other words, old-fashioned Hollywood bombshell: great rack, lots of ass, long legs and the ability to work them all in a huge way, as her current dress and strappy heels, which were (almost) as awesome as mine laid testimony to.

 

“Yeah,” I told her.

 

She studied me closely. “You sure?”

 

“Sure I’m sure,” I answered casually.

 

Indy didn’t take her eyes off me.

 

She’d been my BFF for so long, we were so tight, we knew each other’s deepest secrets (well, in Indy’s case, only most of mine). We’d been through pretty much everything, so even with the additions of the Rock Chicks, I would never have a BFF who was more of the “B” than Indy. I loved her. I would lay down my life for her and that was no joke. I knew she would do the same for me.

 

I also knew her just as well as she knew me.

 

And right now, she knew I was full of shit.

 

She leaned in, her eyes never leaving mine, and started, “Honey, you haven’t been—”

 

She didn’t finish. This was because a brouhaha was commencing. That was to say, Sadie’s loud voice was coming at us and she was being sarcastic and bitchy.

 

Not good.

 

Indy and I looked that way to see Sadie was into it with some woman who Sadie clearly did not like.

 

“Here we go,” Indy murmured and looked at me.

 

I threw her a grin and did what we Rock Chicks always did.

 

Got close to a Rock-Chick-in-need in order to take her back.

 

And I was right. As the events unfolded, one after the other, it became clear something was still very wrong with Sadie. It wasn’t that she wanted that outed. It was just that what happened gave her no choice. Being recently raped and consistently traumatized by four criminally insane brothers (literally, to all of that), it was time for the lid to be blown off.

 

And blow off it did.

 

It happened after Hector lost his mind when we all learned Sadie was secretly planning to move to Greece (Greece! What the f*ck?) and he dragged her to her office.

 

No, that wasn’t right. It happened after what happened in her office leaked out into the hall when Sadie came rushing out.

 

“I’m protecting you!” Sadie screamed at Hector, “Don’t you get it? I’m protecting you!”

 

My head whipped around to the hall, and at her tone, my body went tight.

 

She went on screeching.

 

“You deserve better than me, Hector Chavez! You’re a good man from a good family surrounded by good people. My father was a Drug King. He kills people! It’s what I am, he made me. And Ricky Balducci raped and brutalized me. You know it. You saw it. You were even there! You saw me! You told me you’d never forget. You saw me! You’re better than that and I know it. You deserve more than that. You don’t think you do but you’ve got a tattoo on you that reminds you to think with your head, not your body. I don’t want to be the next tattoo you get when you learn your lesson one day and realize what you’ve done. That you could have had better. That you could have had more. That you could have someone good and clean and right. Someone who belongs at your side. Not someone vile and ugly and tawdry and used that you should have never, ever, ever settled for!”

 

I watched, my heart bleeding at her words, as she yanked free of Hector and started running.

 

“Don’t follow me,” she shouted over her shoulder. She stopped and turned. “Don’t!” she shrieked in a voice so shrill, it lacerated me.

 

My throat closed and I was weirdly paralyzed as others sprung into action when Sadie made a desperate dash through the gallery, grabbed something from a drawer and took off.

 

God, I f*cking hated it when the Rock Chick Drama entered this stage. When the raw thing the Rock Chick was hiding was exposed in all its hideousness and we got to see inside to what we were actually battling.

 

Not that something like that happened every time. Not that I was there to witness it every time it happened. But I still hated it, whether I saw it or heard about it.

 

I was good at giving one-liners, making people laugh, giving support in my way. I could be gentle with the honesty. And I was always there, no matter what, no matter when, if they needed me.

 

But I had no healing hand, like Jules did (because she was a cool chick, but also a social worker). Or like Jet did (because she was shy, quiet and sweet and had a way about her). Or like Daisy did (because she had so much love, it leaked out of her pores and you couldn’t help but feel better if it leaked on you).

 

So I had not only not made amends for being a bitch to Sadie, I had nothing to give to her right now. I didn’t have the skills to get in there and make her see she was not even close to the things she saw in herself.

 

And that killed me.

 

“Ally.”

 

My head jerked at that familiar, deep, sweet voice and I looked up at Ren.

 

He was staring down at me looking gorgeous and worried.

 

“You okay?” he asked.

 

“No,” I whispered.

 

He lifted a hand, and it seemed like he was going to touch me but I moved before he could.

 

Fast.

 

As quick as my four inch stiletto heels could take me, I dashed to the counter where Sadie had her cash register.

 

I grabbed my bag.

 

And I got the f*ck out of there.

 

* * * * *

 

Three hours later…

 

I sat in the dark on my ass in my living room. My back was to the wall, my knees up. I was still in my killer dress, but I’d taken off my heels.

 

The Rock Chick phone tree had been engaged so I’d learned that Sadie was okay. She had her thing, let it out, and then Duke had done his thing.

 

Duke worked at Fortnum’s with us. In fact, Duke had been working at Fortnum’s way before Indy inherited it from Grandma Ellen, so he was the veteran.

 

He was a Harley guy with a gray beard, long gray hair and a rough voice that somehow felt smooth on your soul whenever he used it (even if he was tearing you a new one while using it; I know it sounds crazy but it’s true, trust me). He wore Harley tees (always), leather vests (occasionally) and rolled bandanas around his forehead (without fail).

 

And he was wise. Very much so.

 

Therefore, when the Rock Chicks came to the point in their drama where it was clear everyone needed to quit f*cking around because they needed their shit sorted—tough love or gentle and sweet (as the case may be)—Duke stepped in.

 

So it was Duke who stepped in with Sadie and sorted her shit.

 

Duke could do that.

 

But not me.

 

I closed my eyes, shook my head to get my mind off that path, and opened my eyes, pointing my thoughts in a new direction.

 

I stared into the dark at the shadowy shapes in my apartment and commenced trying to figure out what the f*ck was up with me.

 

And not why Sadie’s outburst that night so deeply affected me.

 

I sensed I wasn’t ready to face that.

 

No, I thought about where my life was leading me.

 

I gazed at the shadows.

 

I liked my apartment. That said, it wasn’t much to write home about, but since I wasn’t there often, it didn’t need to be.

 

The building was two-story and built in the fifties. The rooms were not spacious and there was no personality. Though, the last couple of years, the landlord had pulled out all the dull, uninspired bathrooms and kitchens and put in new dull, uninspired bathrooms and kitchens.

 

Not much, but it was something.

 

He’d also jacked up the rent.

 

Annoying but not surprising.

 

Recently, though, my unit had been getting a facelift that came all from me.

 

I had new cushiony, awesome furniture that invited you to sink in and stay forever (major discount from a person who used my services who knew a person who owned a furniture store). I had a new flat screen TV (ditto on the discount, as you know). Due to gift certificates from other “clients”, I had new kitchen implements (not that I cooked much, seeing as I was never home; still, gadgets were gadgets, and everyone needed as many gadgets as they could get), new bathroom towels and sheets (total lush—I should so totally have gone the way of expensive towels and sheets ages ago; alas, a bartender/barista couldn’t usually afford luxury).

 

Also due to my activities, I had more shoes and clothes in my closet and a collection of gift cards of a variety of denominations to restaurants, bars and movie theaters.

 

All payments for my services.

 

All making life that little bit sweeter.

 

I’d done the defensive/evasive driving course and kicked its ass. I was all over defensive/evasive maneuvers in a vehicle and could not wait to do the chase program. And with more practice at Zip’s and wisdom from Darius, I’d also cleared the house in C. Springs without killing one innocent.

 

This shit was it for me.

 

I loved doing it and I was good at it.

 

And it made life better in a variety of ways.

 

So I didn’t understand what was holding me back from going whole hog, getting licensed and putting out a shingle.

 

And maybe more importantly, with all that going so well, why did I think I was missing something?

 

That you could have someone good and clean and right.

 

Sadie’s words haunted me, yanking me back to the path I was avoiding, and I closed my eyes.

 

I had to get on making amends. I had to be certain, in my way, to make sure Sadie knew she was part of the family.

 

She seemed to be getting there.

 

But I’d sensed she wasn’t there entirely.

 

And tonight proved I was right.

 

On that thought, a knock came at my door.

 

I looked to the door. I didn’t want to get it. I had no cases brewing. I’d cleared the slate when Sadie’s shit hit so I could focus on that.

 

However, since I’d gotten home that night, my phone had been ringing. All the calls were from the Rock Chicks to natter about what happened and what we were going to do next about Sadie. So once I got the “all’s good” with Sadie, I’d turned off my ringer.

 

Now someone was at my door.

 

I knew one thing. Behind that door was not a Rock Chick. They all had their Hot Bunch boys at home and it was past bedtime. They would be nowhere near my door.

 

So it was probably someone who needed me.

 

I wished I had an office with a hotline. This hitting my pad business, interrupting me while I was sitting on my ass in a sexy dress in a dark apartment evaluating my life was not working for me. Not that that happened all the time, but once was enough.

 

The knock came again, and when I gave it time and there was more knocking, I knew they weren’t going to let up. So it would seem I had to haul my ass off the floor and tell them to take a hike.

 

This, I did.

 

Except when I got to the peephole, I saw Ren out there.

 

He wasn’t looking down the hall this time. He was looking at the doorknob as if he expected to hear the locks turning.

 

F*ck.

 

I pulled away from the peephole and rested my forehead against the door.

 

He knocked again.

 

F*ck!

 

Okay, I was Ally Nightingale. I figured whatever this was wasn’t going to be a lot of fun, but I didn’t shy away from anything.

 

Sucking in breath, I unlocked the door and opened it.

 

Ren stood there in all his glory.

 

I swallowed the lump that suddenly clogged my throat and asked, “What are you doing here?”

 

“You didn’t look good after Sadie’s thing, honey,” he answered.

 

I didn’t look good because I wasn’t good.

 

And he’d noticed and done something about it.

 

Why couldn’t he be a dick?

 

I mean, seriously.

 

I didn’t ask that.

 

I asked, “Where’s your date?”

 

“I was worried about you. You weren’t pickin’ up your phone. Dropped her and came to you.”

 

Again.

 

Why couldn’t he be a dick?

 

Seriously.

 

“You still don’t look good, baby,” he whispered, and it happened.

 

What happened was something that never happened. Not to me. I was a Nightingale. I was a cop’s daughter. I was the daughter of a cop’s wife. I was tough. It was born in me and bred in me.

 

So it took serious shit, like Indy marrying my brother—something she and I both wanted since forever—to make me lose it.

 

But right then, I lost it.

 

I felt it happen and had no hope of stopping it. The wet forming in my eyes, making my vision bright. Then the tear breaking loose and gliding down my cheek. Then one on the other side.

 

“Ally,” Ren murmured, eyes to my cheeks.

 

“I was mean to her,” I whispered.

 

His eyes came to mine.

 

“Baby,” Ren whispered back.

 

Another tear.

 

“I was mean to her, and that night, she was raped.”

 

“Honey.”

 

Another tear. “She looks like a fairy princess and she was raped.”

 

Then I totally lost it, taking two steps back to escape at the same time I stupidly lifted my hands to cover my face and hide my emotion (which would make escaping difficult, seeing as I couldn’t see).

 

But I got no further.

 

The light from the hall was extinguished because Ren was inside, and I knew this because I was being held tight in his arms.

 

As I felt the strength of his arms surrounding me, the heat from his body penetrating, one of those hiccoughing sobs burned up my throat and made my body buck in his embrace.

 

God!

 

I so totally hated crying!

 

His arms separated, one going low and again tight around my waist. The other one moved so his hand could stroke my back and I heard him encourage into the top of my hair, “Talk to me.”

 

I didn’t know why I did it. I just knew I needed to do it and he was the only one around.

 

So I did it.

 

I pressed my hands and face into his chest and let it all hang out.

 

“I thought she’d been mean to Daisy. I thought she hated Hector. And I came to Lee’s office the day she came to Lee’s office to ask for his protection.” My head shot back and I cried, “And I was mean!”

 

His hand soothingly stroking my back (and I had to admit, I’d lost it, but it still was soothing) moved to cup my jaw and he replied, “I know what went down with Daisy and Sadie, and also Sadie and Hector, and Sadie’s not the kind of girl who lets people in. So at the time, honey, you couldn’t think anything different.”

 

“She got raped that night, Ren!” I stated loudly.

 

“I know, baby,” he said comfortingly.

 

“Now she’s a Rock Chick and you heard her tonight!” I kept talking loudly, tears sliding from my eyes. “And I haven’t figured out how to make amends.”

 

“You and your posse taking her in and having her back is doing that, Ally,” he pointed out.

 

“Obviously not fast enough!” I returned. “But none of my posse was ugly to her. Except me and Shirleen, but Shirleen got her chance to make amends. Sadie even asked for her.”

 

And this was true. Shirleen was Darius’s aunt, Lee’s receptionist, and also a Rock Chick of the Daisy variety (which meant she wasn’t attached to a Hot Bunch boy, but she was a Rock Chick all the same).

 

She’d been snippy with Sadie that day. But when Sadie finally reported her rape, she’d asked for Shirleen to be there.

 

“Ally, baby, what happened with Sadie tonight didn’t have anything to do with you.”

 

“I know that,” I snapped, yanking out of his arms and taking a step away. “But she…” I shook my head. “God, that monster broke her wrist. Gashed her face. Made her feel tawdry.”

 

“Come back to me, honey,” Ren urged.

 

I shook my head again. “No. I can’t.” I stopped talking, started pacing then kept babbling. “I have to sort this out in my head.”

 

I continued pacing and Ren didn’t say anything.

 

This didn’t last very long before he said something.

 

“Jesus, you really can’t deal with being mean,” Ren murmured incredulously.

 

I stopped pacing and whipped around to face him. It was dark but I still could feel he was watching me.

 

“Not to someone who doesn’t deserve it!” I yelled. “I’m all for a smackdown if a bitch is a bitch. But Sadie is no bitch.”

 

“No, she’s not,” Ren agreed cautiously.

 

“So that means I kicked a sister when that sister was low. I don’t do that shit, Zano.”

 

“F*ck, you’re back to Zano,” he muttered.

 

“What?” I asked sharply.

 

“Nothing, honey. Just come here, will you?”

 

I shook my head again. “No. I…” my eyes narrowed on him and I re-asked an earlier question. “What are you doing here?”

 

He gave me the same answer. “I was worried about you.”

 

“You ditched your date because you were worried about me?”

 

“Yes,” he answered immediately.

 

Shit.

 

What did I do with that?

 

“Ally, look at me,” he ordered.

 

I was looking at him, or at least I was looking at his shadow. But he sensed I wasn’t focused, and how he could sense that, I had no clue. It weirded me out and made me feel all warm inside at the same time.

 

Still, I focused on him and he sensed when I did that, too.

 

Yikes.

 

When I did, hesitantly and gently, he asked, “Did something like what happened to Sadie happen to you?”

 

Oh God.

 

He thought I’d been raped.

 

That was why he was worried.

 

I couldn’t let him think that so I replied softly, “No, Ren.”

 

“Back to Ren,” he whispered.

 

Oh shit.

 

He was trying to figure me out.

 

I couldn’t let that happen.

 

Okay, time to end this.

 

“I—” I started to do that, but that was as far as I got.

 

“Shut up and listen to me.”

 

I clamped my mouth shut, and I did this with a bit of surprise and not a bit of temper since he’d suddenly turned macho alpha on me.

 

Before I could start yelling, he started talking.

 

“I don’t know what’s up with you, but tonight, watching you at the gallery in a dress that succeeded in making me fight my dick getting hard faster than that other one, and your response to what went down with Sadie, I don’t give a f*ck.”

 

He’d been watching me?

 

When?

 

And how did I miss that?

 

Ren kept talking.

 

“You take the backs of that crew of yours like your blood flows through their veins. Indy may be their foundation, Daisy and Shirleen the emotional support. But you’re the backbone.”

 

Jeez.

 

How did he know so much about the Rock Chicks?

 

And why did what he said make me feel even warmer inside?

 

And last, why the hell was he saying this shit at all?

 

He didn’t make me wait for an answer to the last.

 

“You don’t need to make amends to Sadie. You’re set on giving her a lifetime of sisterhood the like she’s never had before and never even dreamed of having. That’ll do it, so you can let that go.”

 

That was all nice, and true, and made me feel better, but unfortunately he wasn’t done.

 

“You’ve got your way, the way you are and the way you are with the ones you care about. And that tells me, a man gets in there, you give that to him, the children you give him, that man will be all kinds of lucky. And I’ve decided we’re gonna see if that man is me.”

 

Oh my God!

 

Was he crazy?

 

He’d just been gazing softly at Ava (well, not “just”, but not three months ago either!) and now he was saying this shit to me.

 

“Zano, we’re done,” I reminded him.

 

“You can be done, but I’m not. So we’re gonna explore this and see where it leads until we both make a decision we agree on about where it’s heading.”

 

Oh crap.

 

Now he was giving me the macho alpha bossy shit.

 

“Zano, I—”

 

“Shut it.”

 

My back snapped straight. “Don’t you tell me to shut it, Ren Zano.”

 

I watched his shadowy head shake before he stated, “Baby, you’re gorgeous. The way you wear a dress is goddamned foreplay. The way you give me everything and nothing, making you a challenge only a real man would accept, is all kinds of hot. The way you give as good as you get in bed, totally unselfish at the same time phenomenally greedy… f*ck,” he growled, and I felt that growl straight in my happy place. “You’re the best I’ve ever had, Ally. Bar none. And the way you love, stubborn, tough, unshakable, is unbelievably f*ckin’ beautiful. And still you’re a serious pain in my ass. But I found, not havin’ you, I got off on the pain. I missed it. So I’m takin’ it back and we’ll see how it goes.”

 

“I know how it’ll go,” I returned. “Nowhere. We’re done, Zano.”

 

“Tell me you haven’t missed what we had,” he demanded.

 

I clamped my mouth shut, because even for self-preservation’s sake, I couldn’t utter that colossal of a lie and I was totally down with lying if the situation warranted it (or when it didn’t and I just needed to save my own hide).

 

He knew it, damn it all to hell, and I knew he did when he whispered, “Come here, Ally.”

 

I put my hands on my hips and stated, “If you want to rewind and start up again, I’ll consider it. But, pointing out, we’re rewinding, not rewriting. We’re f*ck buddies, Zano. We enjoy each other. You go your way. I go mine.”

 

“We were never f*ck buddies, Ally.”

 

I wished.

 

I also rolled my eyes.

 

“Now come here,” he went on.

 

I rolled my eyes back to hm.

 

“Tell me, exactly, why it is I have to walk the three feet that separates us?” I asked.

 

He was on me in a flash, which meant I was in his arms, plastered to his body. He had one hand in my hair cupping the back of my head, holding it steady for whatever he wanted to do to me.

 

Great.

 

That was on me. I’d challenged the alpha and there I was.

 

I knew better.

 

One could say I was seriously off my game tonight.

 

God!

 

And he felt good. So freaking good. Hard with his heat burning into me.

 

He was also in a suit.

 

I was screwed.

 

“Do you agree to f*ck buddies?” I pressed, even as my hands lifted to his biceps and felt the rich material of his suit jacket.

 

Nice.

 

“Absolutely not,” he replied, right before he dropped his head and I felt his lips on my neck.

 

Very nice.

 

“Zano, we should get this straight before we start this up again,” I told him, even as my hands slid up his arms to his shoulders then around his neck.

 

His lips slid to my lips and he invited, “You make your plays, Ally. I’ll make mine. And we’ll see where this is gonna lead.”

 

Unfortunately, that sounded all kinds of fun.

 

And dangerous.

 

Both things I liked.

 

Too much.

 

Crap.

 

“I know where it’s gonna lead,” I retorted.

 

Suddenly I felt my stomach drop, my lungs evacuate all oxygen and my heart skip a beat.

 

This was because I also felt his lips smile against mine right before he said, with great authority, “So do I.”

 

My inner thighs quivered and my happy place got really happy.

 

Then Ren quit messing around and kissed me.

 

After that, he really quit messing around and did a lot of other things to me.

 

And I was right.

 

It was all kinds of fun.

 

It was also dangerous.

 

And I loved every f*cking second.

 

 

 

 

 

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