Next Year in Havana

“And what will he do now?”

“I don’t know,” I admit, Cristina’s earlier words in Havana coming back to me now. “I hope he’ll like it here. Hope he’ll be happy. Hope he can stay here. We still have to figure everything out. He’s passionate about Cuba, and there’s a part of me that feels guilty for encouraging his decision to leave. At the same time, he didn’t have much of a choice. The regime was no longer willing to turn a blind eye to his protests.”

Her mouth tightens into a thin line. “They’re known for that.”

Beatriz carries the glasses over, handing one to me before raising hers in the air.

“A toast—to finding love in the unlikeliest of places.” Her voice turns serious. “I know you, Marisol. I’ve seen you go through life, and I’ve watched you navigate all the things that have come your way. You wouldn’t have taken this leap if it wasn’t right, if you weren’t sure. I know you’re scared now, and you have doubts, but you’ll both make it work. You’ll build a life here.”

Tears prick my eyes.

“Thank you.”

I take a sip of the champagne, the familiar flavor coating my tongue.

“When will I meet him?” she asks.

“I’m bringing him to Lucia’s birthday party.”

My sister’s turning thirty-three next week, and we’re all gathering for a big bash at the farm in Wellington.

“Good. I can’t wait.” A twinkle enters her gaze. “I still have to come up with the right present for her.”

Knowing Beatriz, it could be anything from a handbag to an exotic animal.

“Speaking of presents, what would you like for a wedding present?” she asks.

I laugh. “I didn’t realize I was getting married.”

“You will someday soon. A painting, perhaps.” She drains her glass, and her expression turns serious. “Now tell me about Cuba. I see worry in your eyes, and not just because of your concern that things won’t work out with your young man. You dredged up family secrets when you were down there, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Then I think we need more champagne.”

She refills our glasses far more than is fashionable, a tremor in her fingers as the liquid in the glass pitches and sways.

“I dream of Cuba,” she confesses. “Of our last days as a family there. Constantly.”

Of my three great-aunts, Beatriz has always been the least sentimental, less prone to deep emotion. She’s the butterfly of the family, the only one who has ever resisted being pinned down.

“Would you ever go back?” I ask, a bit surprised by the depth of emotion in her voice, the pain in her eyes.

Beatriz sighs. “And see it how it is now? No. I’ve already had my heart broken multiple times—no need for Fidel to break it again. I lost everything trying to reclaim Cuba.”

“When you left?”

“Then, too. I don’t want to see it like it is now. I prefer the memories I keep in my heart, rather than the harsh reality of what it has become.”

“Do you—”

“Want to be buried in Cuba?” she asks, finishing my thought.

“Yes.”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. I suppose I haven’t thought of it. I have a date Wednesday with a very special man; I’m too busy to think about death. Besides, I suspect Elisa’s reasons for wanting to return were a bit different from mine.”

It’s the entry I need.

“I found some things when I was in Cuba.”

“I thought you might.”

“Did you know?” I ask.

“About the baby? About the man?”

So she did.

“I suspected,” she answers. “They told everyone your father came early, that she wasn’t as far along as she was. Some people probably thought they slept together before they were married. I had a different perspective, though. I saw her with him in Havana one night.”

“With Pablo?”

“Yes. She was the happiest I ever saw her. You can’t hide love like that. I tried asking her about him, and she brushed it off, but I didn’t take it personally. Those were different times. No one knew who to trust; we were all trying to do what we could to survive. I don’t doubt that she wanted to protect us. To protect him.”

“He’s alive. Still lives in Cuba. I met him.”

I’ve accomplished the impossible and managed to surprise Beatriz.

“Did he know who you are?”

“Yes.”

I tell her about the rest of my trip, meeting Magda, the missing pieces she filled in for me.

“Are you going to tell your father? Your sisters?” Beatriz asks.

“Yes. He wants to meet them if they can travel to Cuba. I would want to know about him if I were them.”

“I agree.” She reaches out and squeezes my hand. “If you need me, let me know. I’m happy to help you break the news to them.”

“Thank you.”

“And how are you handling all of the changes?”

“I’m not sure. I’m glad I got to meet Pablo. Glad I learned the truth. I read their letters, and after talking to him, it seems like they really loved each other. I only wish I knew how she felt. I always thought she loved Grandpa Ferrera. But now I wonder.”

“You’re still young. And if you’re lucky, your young man will be the only man you’ll ever love in your life. I hope that for you. For some, there is only one true love. But not everyone is lucky enough to have that love work out for them. And for some, the love we cannot have is the most powerful one of all.

“Elisa was pregnant in a time when being a single mother wasn’t an option. We were starting out in a new country, grieving the loss of our brother, our home, our friends, our way of life. When she met Juan Ferrera, she was young and scared. He was established in the United States, and his family did a lot to help us. He was a decade older than her, and he offered her the stability she craved, especially after the horrors of the revolution.

“I don’t know that she loved him when they married, but I know she grew to love him, and he loved all of you so much. He was happy with her, with the family they built, and she felt the same way about him. Perhaps it wasn’t the glitzy, sweeping romance, but they cared about each other. That can be enough.”

“I feel like I didn’t know her. Not the most important parts, at least.”

“We can’t always know the people we love as well as we think we do, Marisol. Our love is tangled up in our expectations, our perception of reality. And you never know what people really think. They often keep their deepest emotions locked away. She kept her secrets close, but considering what we lived through, who could blame her?”

Ana Rodriguez’s earlier words come back to me now.

“When I was with Ana in Cuba and she gave me my grandmother’s belongings, she mentioned that it was a common practice for families to bury items in their backyard to keep them safe for when they returned.”

Beatriz nods. “The walls of their homes, too. It was our way of preserving hope, I suppose. And perhaps a sign of our arrogance as well. We never imagined the bastard would live as long as he did.”

“She said that you had the one that was buried in your backyard. The one that contained the Perez family treasures.”

Beatriz is silent for a beat. “I had it. For a moment. And then I lost it again.”

“How?”

“How what?”

The doorbell rings.

“How did you get it back?” I ask. “Did someone smuggle it out of the country for you?”

She rises from the couch, glancing down at her watch, before staring back at me. “Sorry for the interruption. I have a massage scheduled for this afternoon.”

Her lips curve into a blinding smile, one that offers more than a hint of insight into the trail of broken hearts behind her. She’s the kind of woman who has likely been stunning her entire life and knows nothing else.

“His name is Gunnar, and he is a sight to behold.”

My beautiful, glamorous, mysterious great-aunt.

“Why did you go back to Cuba?” I ask again.

Beatriz turns back and smiles at me, halfway to the entry. Her voice holds the same tone of insouciance I’ve heard her employ throughout my life.

“I went to assassinate Fidel Castro, of course.”



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