It wasn’t easy being a defendant instead of a lawyer, Carla soon realized through this haze of grief. If only she understood more about what was going on. If only she’d specialized in criminal law, not employment.
Now, as Lily prepared for the bail hearing – to determine whether she had to wait in prison until her case was tried – Carla attempted to remember the murder cases she’d covered at college.
‘Surely all I have to do is plead “Not Guilty”,’ she protested to Lily in the police cell.
‘It’s not as simple as that.’ Lily glanced at her notes. ‘The judge will look at the evidence – like the front and back doors, which don’t look as though they’ve been forced – and then decide if you pose a risk.’
‘A risk?’ she pouted. ‘Who am I going to hurt?’
‘That’s the point, Carla. The judge doesn’t know you from Adam. For all he knows, you’re a husband-killer. It’s unusual to get bail for a murder charge. But not impossible.’
Lily was getting frustrated. Carla could see that. Better not push it, she told herself. She’d been amazed, frankly, when Lily had agreed to take her on. And she was lucky – or so Lily told her – that the bail hearing was happening so fast.
When she saw the judge, he would surely see she was no murderer. Lily had brought in some shampoo and a hairdryer; a hairbrush too, although it was one of those thin wand designs instead of her usual paddle brush. Lily had also lent her a dull brown calf-length skirt, even though Carla had specifically described the one she’d wanted from her own wardrobe. ‘This one is more demure,’ Lily had told her brusquely. ‘It all makes a difference.’
She had been trying. Carla had to concede that. What was it that had swayed her? The ‘Ed was a bastard’ bit? The baby bit? Or the argument that taking on her case would help Lily’s career?
Maybe some of each.
It would have been easier, though, if Lily had been nicer to her instead of being all brusque and cold. Cold … Ed’s body would be cold now. It didn’t seem possible. None of this seemed possible. Any minute now, she’d wake up at home. Not the ‘home’ that had once belonged to Lily and Ed. But real home.
Italy home.
Sunshine streaming in through the shutters; the sounds of children walking past on the way to school; the old man from next door grumbling about the tourists; and Mamma. Beautiful Mamma, calling her in that sing-song voice. ‘Carla! Carla!’
‘Carla Giuliana Macdonald. Do you plead guilty or not guilty?’
Were they really in front of the judge already? Carla looked around the courtroom. It was so easy to travel in your head. So easy to blank everything out.
They were all looking at her now. Far away. And then close. Out and then in. The room was swaying. The handrail in front of her in the defence box was slippery from the sweat on her hands. There was a loud ringing in her ears. ‘Not guilty,’ she managed.
And then the room danced backwards and forwards as if someone was stretching it out and in again, like the concertina the old man used to play in the square by the fountain back home …
The first thing Carla saw when she opened her eyes was Lily. Lily in a smart navy suit that could have been black unless you were looking closely.
‘Well done,’ Lily said.
It was difficult to know if she was being sarcastic or not.
Carla looked around to give herself time. They weren’t in a police cell. Or the court. They were in a room that looked a bit like an office.
‘You managed to get the judge’s sympathy with that rather dramatic faint. Luckily for you, your grandfather put up the bail.’
Nonno? Carla began to sweat again. ‘He knows of this?’
‘The news is all over the place. The press is having a field day. They’re outside the court right now. Waiting for us, cameras at the ready.’
Lily’s eyes were bright. Glazed like an animal’s, although Carla could not work out if she was in search of prey or being hunted herself. The thought made her uneasy. ‘ “Ménage à trois in the courtroom,” they’re calling it. Someone’s got wind of the fact that we shared a husband.’ There was a hoarse laugh. ‘I’d like to say it was at different times, but there was some overlap, wasn’t there?’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Did you say something?’ Lily was standing over her like a teacher. ‘I didn’t quite catch that. Would you mind saying that again?’
‘I said I’m sorry.’
Lily put her head to one side. ‘And you really think that a simple apology wipes the slate clean; that it atones for the wreckage of my marriage and the effect on my son?’
‘It wasn’t easy being married to Ed.’
‘If you go on like that, you’ll make everyone think you did kill Ed – including me.’ Lily’s tone was sharp, but Carla could tell she’d hit a nerve. It was a start. Slow but sure. Employment law had taught her that. Begin by befriending the other side. Especially if it was really your own side …
‘Right. Let’s get going, shall we? Look straight ahead when we go out and don’t, whatever you do, say anything to anyone. Ready?’
Lily strode ahead confidently as they followed the police officer out of the courtroom, across the lobby and into the street. At first Carla thought the sun was strong. But then, when she put down her hand, she could see the flashes. Cameras. A sea of faces. Voices calling out.
‘Carla, is it true that your solicitor used to be married to your husband?’
‘Carla, who do you think killed your husband if you didn’t?’
‘Lily, why have you taken on your ex-husband’s wife? Have you always been friends?’
Carla started as Lily grabbed her arm. Firmly. Painfully. ‘In the car. Now.’
Somehow they made their way through, down the steps and into the silver car waiting at the bottom.
‘You’ve got it all organized,’ Carla said with grudging admiration. Lily was in the front, her face turned to the side, looking out at the sea of people. Then she seemed to freeze.
‘What?’ Carla asked.
Lily went pink. ‘Nothing.’ Then she turned round so her back was facing Carla.
Lily had seen something, Carla told herself. Or someone. Who? She tried to look herself, but the car had moved on, swiftly gliding through the traffic leaving London.
It would be best, Lily told her as they drove, if she came to stay with her in Devon. It would be quieter there, away from the crowds. They could work on the case together. They could, if she wanted, even apply to have Poppy living with them.
‘You would do that for me? Have Ed’s child living with us?’
Carla’s heart sank. Poppy with her blue, all-seeing eyes was the last person she needed. She might make her mind go all strange again.
‘Why not? It’s not her fault.’
Lily had it all worked out.
Little did she know.
59
Lily
I have to admit that Carla’s fears are not unfounded. It would be easy to take on my husband’s wife’s case and put up such an obviously weak defence that she would go down.
But that’s not the way to do it.
‘Let me make this perfectly clear,’ I say to her as we sit in my parents’ sitting room overlooking the sea. She’s curled up in my chair, the pink velvet one that I’ve always sat in since childhood. Yet it suits Carla perfectly. You’d think, to look at her, that she’s on holiday. Stretching back in the sunlight which pours through the picture windows, acting as though she is a guest instead of the client I’ve taken in – much to my mother’s surprise – while preparing for the case.
‘You need to tell me everything,’ I continue. ‘No holding back. In return, I will do my best to defend you.’
Her eyes narrow. ‘How do I know that? Supposing you really want me to lose?’
‘If you’re worried about that, why did you ask me to represent you?’
‘I told you. Because you knew what Ed was like and because people trust you.’