It’s over.
It’s been a long few days. I bought my ticket with cash at the Heathrow airport so that they couldn’t track me. I had a lot of time, and stupidly, I bought all of the magazines, just to see what they were saying about us. I don’t know why but I needed to know.
I shouldn’t have. I should have listened to Spencer and stayed away. It resulted in me crying silent tears for most of the trip, London to LA with a four hour wait for a connecting flight to Maui. Headline after headline about Spencer sleeping his way through the Prescott family assaulted me. Images of him have surfaced with every woman on Earth, and I know that they are old pictures but it just adds to the insult.
The footage of the horrific moment has been played on TMZ, too. It was uploaded by a person who was eating in the restaurant at the time. William’s anger, my horror, and then my hysterical tears as Edward went ballistic…
I’ve never been more ashamed.
A sinking feeling of regret sits deep inside my stomach. Disappointment and sadness all rolled into one heavy lead ball rest there. I let myself fall in love with him. I knew he had earned his reputation and I didn’t care. I jumped in head first, ignoring every warning that was given to me. I never thought his past could hurt me the way that it has. Never in a million years did I see this coming.
My boyfriend slept with my brother’s wife….it doesn’t get more headline worthy than that.
I miss him, still. I miss him so much, it physically hurts my chest. How am I supposed to live without his love?
But every time I get a vision of my beautiful Spencer, I see him with her. It’s all I can see. A dark black cloud hangs over him. It’s like my memory of him isn’t just him anymore. She’s intertwined like a poisonous vine strangling the life out of our love. I’ve relived every sickening moment he spent with her, over and over in my mind. I get visions, vibrant visions of him naked… with her.
Hard… for her.
Did he fuck her the way he fucks me? What positions did they do it? Penelope is beautiful and she has an amazing body. It’s a body I’m sure pleasured him immensely.
How many times did he come?
Oh God….
I blink, knowing there is no cure for this heartbreak. I can’t get my head around it. I will never get my head around it.
Spencer Jones is forever tainted in my eyes, I’ll never look at him the same again.
And it hurts….so much so, that it’s unbearable.
My phone buzzes next to me and I glance over to the table. An unknown number is calling.
It’s him.
I blocked Spencer’s number on that very first night when he was calling me nonstop. But every day he has sent me a message from a new phone number. I don’t know if he’s buying new phones each day or going through every one of his friends’ phones.
Either way, his texts hurt.
I sip my cocktail and stare out over the water, just in time to see the eagle make her move and swoop down. She reappears a few seconds later with a large fish in her beak.
Success, I smile sadly. At least someone around here is getting what they want. I exhale heavily and open the message that’s waiting for me.
Dream catch me when I fall.
Tears well in my eyes.
The words are so fitting now.
I wish I could text him back, but I’m angry. I’m angry at him, angry at myself for not being able to move past this… just so angry.
He has fallen and I can’t fucking catch him.
How dare he ask that I do?
I frown and stare out at the sea, and a second text arrives. Damn it, I forgot to block the number straight away like I normally do. I click it open.
Don’t leave me.
You said you loved me.
I hit block caller and I drain my glass.
“I did love you, Spencer,” I whisper angrily. “But that was then and this is now.”
This is not going to stop. These texts are doing my head in and are no good for me right now.
I take the SIM out of my phone and put it into the glass of iced water that sits beside me. I watch it float from side to side before it sinks to the bottom.
He can go to Hell.
I’m done.
*
The candlelight flickers on my face and I sit in the warm ocean breeze. I’m alone at a table for two outside on the deck of the restaurant. My dinner was beautiful, and I’ve just ordered my third margarita. Under normal circumstances, this would be the perfect night.
I’ve been in Maui for two days, and I have to agree, it’s the perfect TTT trip destination.
“Mind if I sit down?” a familiar voice asks.
I look up in surprise to see William. “What? Where… how did you…?”
He pulls the seat out and sits down. “A little birdie told me where to find you.”
“How did he…?” My face falls. “The letter.” I look around in a panic.
“I’m alone, don’t worry.” He smiles softly. “You really need to up your hiding skills, though.” He takes my hand over the table. “I suggest Switzerland if you don’t want to be found.”
I lean over and kiss his cheek and smile. “I’m sorry about all of this.”
He squeezes my hand. “Don’t be.”
The waiter comes over. William looks at my glass. “What are we drinking?”
“Margaritas.” I smirk.
“Two margaritas, please,” he tells the waiter.
“Yes, sir.” The waiter disappears.
“Who sent you?” I ask.
“Spencer.”
The mere mention of his name brings tears to my eyes. “Is he…” okay?
He shrugs and stares out at the ocean. “I don’t really care how he is, to be honest.”
I nod and am quickly reminded of who I’m talking to.
“Are you okay?” he asks me.
I shake my head. “No, but I will be.” I get a lump in my throat. “I just need some time.”
He nods as he watches me and his drink arrives. He holds it up.
“Miserable in Maui.” He smirks as a toast.
“Isn’t that the truth?” I take a sip. “I mean, I wanted to spend some time with you, but this type of bonding is a bit extreme.”
He chuckles, and my eyes linger on his face. The wind whips up and the sound of the gentle waves lapping the shore echoes in the distance.
“What?” he asks.
“You seem different.” I frown.
“How so?”
“I don’t know, you just do.”
“I’m divorcing Penelope.”
“You are?” I ask hopefully, and then my face falls as reality creeps back in as to why. “Is this because of Spencer? Has seeing him opened a can of worms for you?”
He stares out over the sea as he thinks. “No, we were always going to end.” He sips his drink. “It took some time to prepare myself to walk away. Although all this has forced my hand. When you get married you just assume…” He shrugs. “You assume that it’s all going to turn out, you know?”
I nod as I listen.
“Finding out that the person you fell in love with doesn’t love you back… it’s a tough pill to swallow.”
His words come a little too close to home, and my eyes glaze over.
“I never aspired to be a divorcee.” He frowns. “She’s been seeing someone else.”
“What?”
“I caught her out again just recently. She doesn’t know that I know.”
I stare at him, my heart filled with sadness. “God, Will.”
He shrugs. “I asked Spencer to testify that he was sleeping with her while she was married to me.”
“What?” I frown. “What did he say?”
“He said that he didn’t want to drag you through the mud any more, and his only concern was you.”
My heart drops. My welfare has only ever been his concern.
We sit in silence for a while as we both stare out to sea, lost in our own sad thoughts.
“Are you going to take him back?” he eventually asks.
I bring my feet up onto my chair and tuck them under myself. “I wish it was that easy.”
He raises a brow. “What do you mean?”
I run my finger along the edge of the table as I try to piece together my jumbled thoughts. “Every time I think of him, I see Penelope. He knew she was married, for sure.”
He clenches his jaw. “I don’t think he did, to be honest.”