Hating You, Loving You

"Since when are you shy?" I ask.

"Since the day you met me in the ninth grade. That's a terrible question."

"All right." I stand and offer her my hand. "What if I promise to make it worth your while."

Her eyes perk. "Worth my while how?"

"I'll fuck you in the bathroom."

Her cheeks flush. "You would have done that anyway."

"Yeah. Definitely." I motion come here. "Shit. I wasn't supposed to say that, was I?"

"You weren't," she says.

"Giving up my bargaining power." I shake my head with mock shame. "Fuck. I need to work on my negotiation skills."

She nods.

"Get up here with me because you want to."

She bites her lip.

"'Cause if you don't, I'm gonna have to do Smells Like Teen Spirit instead of Jeremy and nobody wants that."

She nods with mock disgust. "That would be horrible."



By the second verse, Chloe is in it, belting out the song with everything she's got. When we finish, she hands the mic to Walker, who regales us with his best Metallica impression.

Bit by bit, she relaxes into the room. Sings along with everyone, cheers, laughs, mocks me as senselessly as I deserve.

Everyone makes an effort to include Chloe. Hell, everyone likes her more than they like me.

Which is fine by me.

I don't live my life looking to be liked.

After a dozen songs, I lean in close and whisper in her ear. "Meet me in the bathroom in two songs."

She looks up at me and raises a brow really.

I nod hell yes. If she's not game for that, fine. But I'm taking her somewhere and fucking her.

She nods back, a much more timid okay, then she scoots to the other bench to get lost in Leighton and Iris's conversation.

I hang back. Watch Ryan serenade Leighton with her favorite song—this miserable, breathy number where the singer sounds simultaneously mid-fuck and about to break.

Personally, I don't see the appeal. But she laps it up like warm milk.

When Emma grabs the mic, I move to the door. Leave as inconspicuously as possible.

But the hallway isn't empty. Brendon is leaning against the wall, staring at me with a knowing look on his face.

I stare back. "Reliving a favorite memory?" Once upon a time, he popped Kaylee's cherry at this very karaoke. At least, that's the impression I got.

He shrugs maybe. "You really like her, huh?"

"Yeah, I do." My shoulders tense then relax. It's weird not firing back a joke. But it feels good, admitting it aloud. I want to scream it. I want to tell the entire world.

"You sure you know what you're doing?"

"Fuck no."

Brendon chuckles. "Sounds about right."

"Did you?"

He peers through the window on the door. Watches Kaylee clap over Em's performance. "Not for a second."

"Even after all that time pining?"

"Only made it worse."

"You ever figure it out?"

"Depends on the day."

"It's a hell of a thing, loving somebody."

His gaze shifts to me. His voice gets serious. Well, more serious. Brendon is always serious. "Is it?"

He's asking if I'm in love with her.

Fuck, I don't know.

I've never loved somebody. Never even thought about it. Certainly never considered it within the realm of possibility.

But Chloe…

"Fuck, you know that kind of insight is beyond my capabilities." I deflect with a joke.

But it doesn't fool him. He shakes his head nice try. "You want my advice?"

"No. But I'm sure I can't stop you."

"Yeah." His chuckle is soft. Knowing. "If you do love her, hold onto her. Don't let anybody, even yourself, convince you there's anything more important."

I shrug like his advice means nothing.

But that doesn't fool either of us.





Chapter Thirty-Two





Dean





"This is so much better than a karaoke bathroom." Chloe pulls my t-shirt over my head and tosses it aside.

"That's 'cause you have no idea how hot that bathroom is."

"I know enough." She reaches for my belt. Unfastens it. Pulls it from my jeans.

My hands go to her hips. I pull her body into mine. Lean down to press my lips to hers.

She rises to her tiptoes to meet me.

One hand knots in my hair. The other curls into the back of my neck.

She shifts her hips, grinding her crotch against mine. "Dean." Her breath catches in her throat. She forgets about teasing me. About banter. About everything but how badly she needs me.

"Yeah?" My fingertips skim the bare skin of her stomach.

"I'm glad I'm here."

"I'm fucking ecstatic you're here."

"I just mean…" Her brow furrows as she tries to find the words. When she doesn't, she shakes her head and brings her hands back to my jeans. "Thank you."

"For?"

"Everything." Her fingers dig into my sides. "Now take off your clothes."

"Which ones?"

"Uh-uh. No sass. All of them. Get naked and get on the couch."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Don't even."

"I never have been with a woman who wanted to be in control."

"I don't want to be in control." She cups me over my jeans. Groans as her palm brushes against my hard-on. "I just want you naked."

Fuck, all that denim in the way.

I can still feel the heat of her hand.

The friction of her touch.

My eyelids flutter together.

I want her badly.

But I still need to tease her. To keep this light. To get that laugh in my ears.

"How can you know if you've never tried it?" I peel her tank top up her stomach.

She lifts her arms over her head to help me.

Once it's on the floor, I bring my hands to her hips.

"That's a stupid question and you know it." She brings her palm back to my cock. Rubs me over my jeans. "Naked now."

"Sunshine, I'm not gonna do anything to stop exactly what you're doing."

"Oh." Her cheeks flush. "You're that—"

"Fuck." My nails dig into her skin. She's too fucking good at this. She doesn't realize it either. She doesn't realize there's a sex goddess in those combat boots.

And, fuck, I can't take teasing tonight.

I need to be inside her.

To be one with her.

To be every cheesy cliché in the world.

I lean down to bring my lips to hers.

She meets me halfway. She kisses me softly.

Her lips part. Her groan vibrates down my neck.

Blood flows south.

No more talking.

It's not my body taking over.

It's my heart.

It's fucking weird. But right too.

I unzip her jeans and push them off her hips.

She shimmies out of them. Kicks them off her feet. Takes my hand and leads me to the couch.

I don't waste any time.

I pull a condom from my back pocket, do away with my jeans, and plant on the couch.

She looks down at me with hungry eyes. Like she wants to consume me. Like she wants every inch of me.

No. Like she needs every inch of me.

She slips onto the couch, her knees around my thighs, her body above mine.

Her eyes lock with mine as she wraps her fingers around my wrist and brings my hand to her chest.

I toy with her nipple with my thumb.

Her eyelids flutter closed. A groan falls off her lips. She's falling into that perfect trance. Where she's in a world of bliss and pleasure and nothing else.

She's already wet, but I warm her up anyway. My thumb goes to her clit. My index finger goes to her cunt.

She gasps as I slip a finger inside her. I watch pleasure spill over her expression as I push it deeper.

She brings her other hand to my cock. Wraps her fingers around me and pumps me with a steady stroke.

Fuck.

My thoughts scatter. The world fades away. Until she's the only thing I can see, touch, taste, feel.

She pumps me with steady strokes.

I drive my fingers into her.

The way she groans my name is ecstasy. But it's not enough. I need to be inside her.

I tear the condom wrapper open.

She stares down at me, watching as I slide the condom on.

Then her eyes are on mine.

They're wide with bliss, need, affection.

They're promising the world.

I want to take it from her. And to give it to her.

I want everything for her.

My hands go to her hips.

She stares into my eyes as I bring her body onto mine.

My tip strains against her.

Then it's one sweet inch at a time.

Fuck. She's soft. Wet.

Mine.

It floods my brain, my heart, my everything.

I need her to be mine.

's books