Grit

“tracked senior leaders”: Bill McNabb, CEO of Vanguard, in an interview with the author, August 20, 2015.

“makes me stronger”: Friedrich Nietzsche, The Anti-Christ, Ecce Homo, Twilight of the Idols: and Other Writings, ed. Aaron Ridley, trans. Judith Norman (Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press, 2005), 157.

croon the same words: Kanye West, “Stronger,” Graduation, 2007. Kelly Clarkson sings a popularized version of the phrase, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” in “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You),” Stronger, 2011.

more confident: In fact, the idea that suffering can make us more capable is timeless. Every major religious tradition includes a parable where suffering is necessary for enlightenment. The Latin root of the word passion is pati, which means “to suffer.” OED Online, Oxford University Press, September 2015.

“tenacity in pursuit”: For more information on Outward Bound, see www.outwardbound.org.

benefits tend to increase: John A. Hattie, Herbert W. Marsh, James T. Neill, and Garry E. Richards, “Adventure Education and Outward Bound: Out-of-Class Experiences That Make a Lasting Difference,” Review of Educational Psychology 67 (1997): 43–87.

were much more vulnerable: Maier and Seligman, “Learned Helplessness.”

Steve Maier and his students: Kenneth H. Kubala et al., “Short-and Long-Term Consequences of Stressor Controllability in Adolescent Rats,” Behavioural Brain Research 234 (2012): 278–84.

“respond to stress”: Steven F. Maier, professor of psychology and director of the Center for Neuroscience at the University of Colorado at Boulder, in an interview with the author, April 2, 2015.

Milton Hershey School: Not coincidentally, Milton Hershey himself exemplified grit, having started several unsuccessful companies before developing, through trial and error, a formula for milk chocolate that would soon make his company the largest confectionary in the world. He and his wife could not have children and therefore created the Hershey School, which owns a controlling interest in Hershey stock. For more information on the Milton Hershey School and its founder, visit www.mhskids.org.

always learning and growing: If you want to hear Kayvon’s music, visit www.kayvonmusic.com.

increased their IQ scores: Sue Ramsden et al., “Verbal and Non-Verbal Intelligence Changes in the Teenage Brain,” Nature 479 (2011): 113–16.

ability to grow myelin: Carol S. Dweck, “The Secret to Raising Smart Kids,” Scientific American 23 (2015). Lisa S. Blackwell, Kali H. Trzesniewski, and Carol S. Dweck, “Implicit Theories of Intelligence Predict Achievement Across an Adolescent Transition: A Longitudinal Study and in Intervention,” Child Development 78 (2007): 246–63. Joshua Aronson, Carrie B. Fried and Catherine Good, “Reducing the Effects of Stereotype Threat on African American College Students by Shaping Theories of Intelligence,” Journal of Experimental Psychology 38 (2002): 113–25. David Paunesku et al., “MindSet Interventions Are a Scalable Treatment for Academic Underachievement,” Psychological Science (2015): 1–10. Allyson P. Mackey, Kirstie J. Whitaker, and Silvia A. Bunge, “Experience-Dependent Plasticity in White Matter Microstructure: Reasoning Training Alters Structural Connectivity,” Frontiers in Neuroanatomy 6 (2012): 1–9. Robert J. Zatorre, R. Douglas Fields, and Heidi Johansen-Berg, “Plasticity in Gray and White: Neuroimaging Changes in Brain Structure During Learning,” Nature Neuroscience 15 (2012): 528–36.

“resilience training”: The Penn Resilience Program was developed by Jane Gillham, Karen Reivich, and Lisa Jaycox. This school-based program teaches cognitive-behavioral and social-emotional skills to students using role plays, games, and interactive activities. See J. E. Gillham, K. J. Reivich, L.H. Jaycox, and M. E. P. Seligman, “Preventing Depressive Symptoms in Schoolchildren: Two Year Follow-up,” Psychological Science 6 (1995): 343–51. Martin E. P. Seligman, Peter Schulman, Robert J. DeRubeis, and Steven D. Hollon, “The Prevention of Depression and Anxiety,” Prevention and Treatment 2 (1999). Note that a more recent meta-analytic review confirmed benefits of the program over twelve months post-intervention in comparison to no treatment, but not active treatment, control conditions: Steven M. Brunwasser, Jane E. Gillham, and Eric S. Kim, “A Meta-Analytic Review of the Penn Resiliency Program’s Effect on Depressive Symptoms,” Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 77 (2009): 1042–54.

cognitive behavioral therapy: For more information on cognitive therapy, see www.beckinstitute.org.

“I get back on my feet”: Rhonda Hughes, Helen Herrmann Professor of Mathematics Emeritus at Bryn Mawr College and cofounder of the EDGE Program, in conversation with the author, May 25, 2013.

“Don’t give up!”: Sylvia Bozeman, professor emeritus of mathematics at Spelman College, in correspondence with the author, October 14, 2015. Sylvia has made similar remarks in Edna Francisco, “Changing the Culture of Math,” Science, September 16, 2005. I should also note that sometimes there’s nobody available to tell you to keep going. Psychologist Kristin Neff suggests thinking about what you would say to a friend who was struggling with a similar situation, and then to practice saying similar compassionate, understanding things to yourself.





CHAPTER 10: PARENTING FOR GRIT


“can quite overwhelm him”: John B. Watson, Psychological Care of Infant and Child (London: Unwin Brothers, 1928), 14.

“give them a pat on the head”: Ibid., 73.

“my parents were my foundation”: Don Amore, “Redemption for a Pure Passer?” Hartford Courant, January 29, 1995.

“I’d like to come home”: Grit: The True Story of Steve Young, directed by Kevin Doman (Cedar Fort, KSL Television, and HomeSports, 2014), DVD.

“You’re not coming back here”: Ibid.

“I threw over 10,000 spirals”: Steve Young with Jeff Benedict, “Ten Thousand Spirals,” chapter in forthcoming book, 2015, http://www.jeffbenedict.com/index.php/blog/389-ten-thousand-spirals.

“I couldn’t get a hit”: Doman, Grit: The True Story.

“you cannot quit”: Christopher W. Hunt, “Forever Young, Part II: Resolve in the Face of Failure,” Greenwich Time, February 2, 2013.

“and I’d be hitting them”: Doman, Grit: The True Story.

“Endure to the end, Steve”: The Pro Football Hall of Fame, “Steve Young’s Enshrinement Speech Transcript,” August 7, 2005.

“The name really fits him”: Doman, Grit: The True Story.

ten thousand sit-ups in a row: Kevin Doman, “Grit: The True Story of Steve Young,” Deseret News, April 4, 2014.

“Our Steve is a great kid!”: Sherry and Grit Young, parents of Steve Young, in an interview with the author, August 23, 2015.

“Everything is contextual”: Steve Young, former quarterback of the San Francisco 49ers, in an interview with the author, August 18, 2015.

funniest comics in Britain: Observer, “The A-Z of Laughter (Part Two),” Guardian, December 7, 2003.

“came from my family”: Francesca Martinez, comedian, in an interview with the author, August 4, 2015.

“then you can reassess”: Francesca Martinez, What the **** Is Normal?! (London: Virgin Books, 2014), 185.

“leave formal education”: Martinez, interview. In her book, Francesca gives a similar account.

“the throwing of objects”: Martinez, What the **** Is Normal?!, 48.

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