Mae had just finished her hair again, neatly wrapping the braid into a perfect knot above the back of her neck. She really was on the verge of pulling it out again when Val grabbed her arm. “Enough, Mae. We’re going to be late.”
It was another bad sign, Val’s using her real name instead of her pet name, Finn. But Mae couldn’t deny her friend’s point. It was time to go. With one last glance in the mirror, she let them lead her outside to the subway entrance across the street. They took the blue line out to the base, earning a number of startled looks from other passengers. Pr?torians weren’t that common outside of military and federal centers. A group of them was especially unusual. The passengers kept their distance and glanced around the train uneasily, wondering if they should expect a terrorist attack.
The threesome ended up reaching the base early, but plenty of other pr?torians were already entering the ceremonial hall. And here, Mae faltered, stopping just outside the entrance. The spring sunshine was far too bright and cheery for a day like today. Dag touched her arm. “You okay?”
“You don’t have to go,” Val told her.
Mae saluted the flag overhead and continued forward to the hand scanner. “Everything’s fine.”
Neat rows of chairs filled the hall, which was nearly packed with pr?torians. The news had come in less than a week ago, and it would have taken a fair amount of scrambling to pull so many of the guard back in from their scattered assignments. Some wouldn’t be here, of course. It was the nature of the job. But the death of a pr?torian was so monumental that their superiors would’ve certainly done whatever they could to ensure a good showing.
Although there was no official seating chart, the pr?torians were gathering in cohorts. Val waved at someone across the room. The Scarlets had already taken a middle position and were beckoning them over. Val and Dag started to head in that direction, but Mae stopped again, allowing her eyes to focus on the front of the hall.
There’d been no body to recover, but they’d still set out a casket made of a dark, gleaming wood. Pr?torian black. A swath of indigo silk covered it, with the RUNA’s flag draped over that. Piles of gardenias sat on either side, their softness contrasting with the clean lines of the casket.
Not caring if Val and Dag followed her or not, Mae turned toward the center aisle that led straight to the shrine. A bubble of emotion—sorrow and panic combined—began to rise within her, and she staunchly pushed it down. Throwing back her shoulders, holding her chin high, she began the impossibly long walk toward the front of the room. People stepped aside for her, and those who hadn’t noticed her before now stopped to stare. She ignored those looks, along with the whispers that soon followed. She kept her gaze fixed firmly ahead, silently repeating the creed: I am a soldier of the Republic. I do not serve my own will but that of my country. Those words were echoed by her mother’s, spoken so many years ago: You can ignore the rest because you’re better than them. Empty yourself of all feeling, because if they can’t see it, then they can’t use it against you.
Those standing near the front also parted for her, moving away from the casket. Nearby conversation fell silent. There was a golden plate affixed to the dark wood, just under the flag. PORFIRIO ALDAYA, INDIGO COHORT. His dates of service were listed below, along with a Latin inscription that probably mentioned honor and duty. Mae ran her fingertips over his name, and suddenly the scent of the gardenias became cloying and oppressive. The world spun, and she closed her eyes.
Porfirio is dead. It didn’t seem possible that someone so full of life, someone who burned with passion and energy, could truly be gone from this world. She couldn’t bring herself to mull over what had happened to him after death. Had his consciousness ceased to exist? Or was he in some paradise that religious zealots preached about?
“You killed him, you know.”
Mae opened her eyes at the familiar voice and slowly turned around. Drusilla Kavi stood there, hands on her hips, her dark eyes flashing with a mix of grief and rage that mirrored Mae’s own feelings. Kavi was half a foot shorter than Mae, and Mae had no difficulty keeping her face still and flat in the path of that anger. Other pr?torians standing nearby watched intently.
“You killed him,” Kavi repeated. The indigo pip on her collar was an echo of Porfirio’s. “You might as well have set the bomb yourself, you fucking castal bitch. He wouldn’t have gone if it wasn’t for you.”
Mae had been called worse and had learned to ignore that kind of thing long ago. “Porfirio made his own choices. No one could make him do anything.” She refused to be baited and tried to step around the other woman. Be calm. Be superior. “Excuse me, I need to return to my cohort.”