In my house, the men have always been treated differently. They have their freedom, they have the power, and the women are seen as fragile things of beauty that need protecting.
But in Giuliano’s house, his mom was the boss. She ruled the house, unfortunately his father has passed, but apparently when he was alive, he was sweet and kind and hopelessly in love with his mother.
Just like my Giuliano.
I think back to when my father was alive, I don’t remember much but I do know that he was absent a lot. He worked away, but even when he was home, he and my mother hardly spoke. I don’t ever remember them kissing or showing any affection for each other. They were nice to each other, sure, and they didn’t fight. And the weird thing is, I never even realized it was like this, I thought this was normal until I hear Giuliano talk about his parents and the grand love that they had for each other.
One day I want that life, a heart filled with love and laughter. Deep and meaningful friendship that will last a lifetime.
I don’t care about the Ferrara money and power, and the more my darling Giuliano educates me on another way of life, the more I’m determined to have it.
It’s funny the things that stick with you, Giuliano once told me how his father loved his mother the most when she had no makeup on and was wearing a tracksuit. They would lie around on the couch and watch movies together.
I can’t stop thinking about that weird piece of information, it seems so bizarre, my mother is dressed to the nines and wearing sky-high stilettos every day, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her in a tracksuit—in fact, I know I haven’t.
The only thing my parents did together was go to church and family gatherings.
I get a particular vision of the two of them arriving at a gala ball one night, I was in the car in front of them, Dad was in a black dinner suit and was holding the car door open for her as she climbed out in her beautiful cocktail dress.
All eyes were on her, but his eyes were on me and my brothers, as if he didn’t even notice her. Bianca Ferrara is a beautiful woman, everyone knows it.
But did my father?
Thinking back, I really don’t think so, and it makes me sad that she never got that with her husband.
I’m glad my mother has now found happiness. Lorenzo was my father’s closest friend, a widower. When my father and grandfather were killed in the car accident, Lorenzo came to stay at our house to care for us, he never left. Over time, he and my mother’s friendship grew and blossomed into something deeper.
I already loved him, he was like a second father to me and my brothers. I like seeing my mother finally happy and I’m glad it’s with an honorable man like Lorenzo. I know my father would approve, how could he not?
My phone vibrates in my hand and I smile into the darkness. “Hi.”
“How’s my girl?”
“Still yours.”
“She better be,” he whispers.
Just the sound of his voice makes me feel happy. “Do you know what day it is?” I ask him.
“Monday,” he replies and I can tell he’s smiling.
“It’s six weeks today since we first spoke.”
“Feels like six years.”
“It does, doesn’t it.” I’m not joking, it really does. I can’t even remember what I used to do before we spoke.
“I need to see you,” he says softly.
My heart drops, because I know that it’s not a possibility. The problem with having money is that your family is a target. I’m guarded at all times, never left alone even for a minute.
“Did you ask your mother?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“And?”
“She said I’m too young to date.”
“You’re seventeen, Francesca.” He exhales heavily.
“I know.”
He stays silent and my heart constricts. I don’t want to lose him, and yet, I know that I will if I can’t find a way for us to meet up. What nineteen-year-old boy wants a pen pal for a girlfriend.
“I’m just going to man up and come and knock on your front door in Milan.”
“Don’t.”
“What would happen? What’s the worst that could happen?”
“My brother will kill you.”
“Who, Enrico? He doesn’t scare me.”
“He should.”
“You’re overthinking this.”
“No, Giuliano, trust me, you are underthinking this. If they get suspicious that I’m seeing someone they will tighten the noose around my neck even more.”
“You haven’t seen me.”
We fall silent.
Eventually I whisper, “Are you angry?”
“Disappointed.”
“I know, baby,” I whisper. “Me too.”
“I’m tired, I’m going to go.” He sighs. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
My eyes well with tears, this is the first time he’s ever wanted to get off the phone. “Okay,” I whisper.
“Good night, Chesk.”
“Good night, Jules.”
We stay silent on the line, waiting for the other to say something to fix it, but there is no fix to this.
He will move on, and how could I blame him?
Six weeks is a long time to invest in someone who he will never get the chance to meet up with.
“Dream of me,” I whisper hopefully.
“Always do.”
The phone clicks as he hangs up and deflated, I stare at it in my hand for a while.
I shower and sadly climb into bed. I’ve met the man of my dreams and now I’m going to have to endure him slowly withdraw from me.
If only my family just knew what an amazing person he is, I’m sure they would grow to love him.
I need to fix this, if we can’t meet in the open, what about…? We could meet in secret? But how?
I’m only allowed to a few places: Anna’s, the library…my eyes widen. Of course, why didn’t I think of that before?
The library.
I dial his number, he answers first ring. “What’s wrong?”
“Can you come to Milan?”
“What?”
“I’m allowed to go to the library, if you get there before me and hide while my security do their checks, I can see you.”
“They don’t stay in the library with you?”
“No, they do their check and then wait outside. Could you hide for ten minutes in the bathroom or something. I mean, I don’t know how it would work but….”
“I could.”
“When?” I ask.
“Tomorrow.”
So soon. “It’s risky, Jules, what if they catch us?” I whisper.
“Five minutes together will be worth it.”
*
The car pulls into the parking lot of the Milan public library and I close my eyes.
Shit.
My two guards climb out of the front seat and Antonio opens my car door. I peer out with trepidation.
Oh hell.
What am I doing?
They’re going to catch us and then they’re going to beat Giuliano to a pulp and he will get the blame, when really, this was all my fault.
I glance up at the building in front of us, is he in there? I couldn’t even bring my phone in case it’s found. I stalled at home as long as I could to give him enough time.
What if he hasn’t hidden yet?
Fuck.
“Everything alright, Miss Ferrara?”
“Uh-huh.” I fake a smile and climb out. “Thank you, Antonio.”
We walk up the grand steps and through the double doors and into the main hall and study area and I see Anna sitting in the corner at one of the long tables. I made her come as a decoy, she has textbooks open and looks the studious part. My eyes dart around in search.