My heart continued to beat even as my breathing stopped. “ROTC?” I pressed.
“No.” He shook his head and leaned forward on his knees. “I …” He hesitated. “Tate, I love you—”
I sucked in a breath and threw off the sheets, causing Madman to jump off the bed as I turned away. “Jax was right,” I choked out, my throat suddenly tight.
“Jax is always right,” he sighed. “Continuing like this.” He shook his head. “I’d make you miserable.”
I turned to look at him, so many questions frantically filling my brain. “Jared, if you want to quit ROTC, then quit,” I cried. “I don’t care. You can study anything. Or nothing. Just—”
“I don’t know what I want!” he burst out, interrupting me. “That’s the problem, Tate. I need to figure things out.”
“Away from me,” I finished.
He stood up, running his hands through his hair. “You’re not the problem, babe. You’re the only thing that I’m sure of.” His gentle voice was filled with sadness. “But I need to grow up, and it’s not happening here.”
“Here, where?” I asked. “Chicago? Shelburne Falls? Or around me?”
He rubbed a frustrated hand down his face as he stared out the window. I’d never felt so far away from him. Not even when we were enemies in high school.
I couldn’t lose him. I closed my eyes. Please.