Enemies Abroad

“Word on the street is the two of you can’t seem to get along.”

Noah and I didn’t collaborate and get our story straight beforehand, but we didn’t need to. We both knew Principal O’Malley stood no chance of brokering peace between us, but more importantly, we weren’t looking for trouble with the administration. To rat each other out would be akin to folding, forfeiting, calling time on a game neither one of us was done playing.

“Us?” Noah asked, waving his thumb back and forth between our chairs. “Us?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said with a laugh. “Noah’s like a brother to me.”

Noah bristled at this, but I don’t think Principal O’Malley noticed.

“Yeah, Audrey’s like my kid sister. Just look at her.”

He reached out and ruffled my hair, ruining my curls in the process.

I wanted to pop him in the chin, but I resisted the urge, both because it would hurt—his chin is chiseled and strong, like a superhero action figure’s—and because we were still sitting in front of Principal O’Malley.

Our boss looked at us with discerning eyes, and all the while, we smiled like psychos.

Finally, anxious to get back to his half-eaten donut and coffee, he waved us out.

“All right. Maybe it’s just silly school gossip. Go on, you two.”

We rose from our chairs at the same time and walked to the door, stride for stride. At the threshold, Noah stood back, hand swept out in a charming gesture of chivalry as he allowed me to leave first.

“What a gentleman!” I gushed, my sugary tone belying the look of hatred I was directing at Noah.

I think of that morning now, as I stand outside Principal O’Malley’s office door, waiting for him to arrive.

The school is quiet since the students aren’t due to arrive for another hour. I have plenty of time to chat with Principal O’Malley before I head to my classroom and check my email, drink my coffee, maybe do a little online shopping for my big summer trip.

I hear someone approach, and, anticipating seeing our principal, I look up with a winning smile only to immediately let my mouth go slack once I realize it’s Noah.

He smiles at Liz, Principal O’Malley’s secretary, who melts in his presence.

What a waste of a perfectly good face.

Noah is handsome in a way that’s not subjective; it’s a matter of fact. Starting from the top, he has thick, slightly wavy brown hair. Hairdressers must swoon when he takes a seat in their chair. His face is…

A shiver racks down my spine.

Fine. It’s fine.

His features are altogether pleasing, I suppose. I’ve heard other teachers talk about him like he’s the second coming of Christ, and please can we get some new blood around here? He’s good-looking, sure, but you know what? So was Ted Bundy!

I click my tongue and look away once he spots me. The office across the hall is still dark, and I catch my reflection in the rectangular window on the door. I’m tallish at 5’8”. I have black hair that I’m incredibly vain about. It’s glossy and pin straight and goes halfway down my back. Today, I have half of it twisted up into a cute bun. My eyes are big and almond-shaped and a shade darker than Noah’s. On my worst, most childish days, I hope Noah finds me unbelievably attractive. I want to be his exact type down to the shape of my Cupid’s bow lips because I love the karmic retribution in that.

“Come to put in your resignation?” I ask as he steps close to me, his shoulder brushing mine.

There are miles of hallway on either side of us; he doesn’t have to be this close. I know he’s doing it to annoy me.

I can see him in the window across the hall now too. Well, part of him. His size can’t be reduced to that little rectangle the way mine can.

I stare at his reflection as he says, point-blank, “We can’t both go to Rome.”

I stand a little taller. “Exactly, so leave. I was here first.”

“Who says Principal O’Malley will pick you? You have no experience teaching history.”

“Neither do you.”

I’m an English teacher. Noah’s algebra. Neither one of us has any business taking a group of kids to Rome.

“In college, I minored in history with a focus on Ancient Rome.”

My eyes widen in panic. “Did you really?”

Without breaking face, he replies, “No, but Principal O’Malley doesn’t need to know that.”

Classic Noah.

I inspect my nails, bored. “Right, well, I’ve already been talking to Mrs. Lee. Did you know she speaks Italian? And her July is wide open. She’s already agreed to co-chaperone with me.”

“Has she really?”

My gaze flits coolly back to his. “No, but Principal O’Malley doesn’t need to know that.”

The look on Noah’s face in the window is feral. He either wants to kiss me or kill me.

“Why do you need the bonus anyway?” I ask. “I assume you make plenty of money bartering souls.”

He leans back against the wall, crosses his ankles, slips his hands into his pockets, and shrugs.

“It’s been a slow spring what with Lent and Easter. Besides, my check engine light came on this morning. The extra cash wouldn’t hurt.”

I think back on my doodles from yesterday.

I’m a witch!

“Why do you look like that?” His eyebrows furrow with suspicion. “Did you tamper with my car?”

I puff out an exasperated sigh. “Like I have the technical prowess…”

“You could have had someone do it for you.” His gaze intentionally runs down the length of my body. “Plenty of guys would jump at the chance.”

“You look positively lecherous. Rest assured, I didn’t touch your car. Though, off topic, I wouldn’t go to the zoo anytime soon if I were you.”

Principal O’Malley appears down the hall whistling a happy little tune while he polishes off the last of his hash brown. Before he can reach us, I step forward and call out, waving big and offering a hearty “Good morning!”

Before Noah can beat me to it, I announce, “I’m here to volunteer for the Rome trip!”