I stopped in the first pub that looked inviting and boasted authentic Irish fare. I selected a quaint Old World place over the flashier urban ones in the district. I just wanted a good hot meal without a lot of fuss. And I got it: a bowl of thick, hearty Irish stew, warm soda bread, and a slice of chocolate whisky cake, washed down by a perfectly stacked Guinness.
Though I was pleasantly sleepy after the filling meal, I ordered a second beer, sat back and looked around, drinking in the atmosphere. I wondered if Alina had ever come here, and indulged myself in a little fantasy of imagining her here with friends, laughing and happy. It was a beautiful pub, with cozy high-backed leather booths, or "snugs" as they were called, lining the brick walls. The bar occupied the center of the large room, a handsome, stately affair of mahogany, brass, and mirrors. It was surrounded by tall cafe tables and high stools. It was at one of those tables that I sat.
The pub was filled with an eclectic mix of patrons, from young university students to retired tourists, from fashionably attired to sporty-grunge. As a bartender, I'm always interested in what other clubs are like: what they offer, who they draw, and what soap operas unfold in them, because they inevitably do. There are always a few gorgeous guys, always a few fights, always a few romances, and always a few weirdos in any given bar, on any given night.
Tonight would prove no exception.
I'd already paid my tab and was just finishing my beer when he walked in. I noticed him because it was impossible not to. Though I didn't catch sight of him until he'd already passed me and his back was to me, it was the backside of a world-class athlete. Tall, strong, powerful muscle poured into black leather pants, black boots, and—yes, you guessed it, a real drama king—a black shirt. I've spent enough time behind a bar that I've formed a few opinions about what people wear and what it says about them. Guys who wear black from head to toe fall into two categories: they want to be trouble, or they are trouble. I tend to steer clear of them. Women who wear all black are a different story, but that's neither here nor there.
So I noticed his backside first, and as I'm scoping it out with a connoisseur's eye (trouble or not, he was serious eye-candy), he goes straight to the bar, leans over it, and filches a bottle of top-shelf whisky.
Not a soul seemed to notice.
I stiffened with instant indignation for the barkeep; it was a good bet it was his pocket that the sixty-five-dollar bottle of single-malt scotch was going to end up coming out of at closing time when his accounts didn't zero-out.
I began to slide down from my stool. Yes, I was going to do it—stranger in a strange land, no less—I was going to rat him out. We bartenders have to stick together.
The guy turned.
I froze, one foot on the lower rung, halfway down. I think I even stopped breathing. To say he was movie-star material didn't cut it. To call him drop-dead gorgeous didn't either. To say that archangels must have been graced by God with such faces couldn't even begin to begin describing him. Long gold hair, eyes so light they looked silvery, and golden skin, the man was blindingly beautiful. Every hair on my body lifted, all over, in unison. And I got the strangest thought: He's not human.
I shook my head at my lunacy and backed up onto the stool. I still intended to tell the barkeep, but not until the man moved away from the bar. I was suddenly in no hurry to get close to him.
But he didn't move away. Instead he leaned back against it, broke the seal, unscrewed the cap, and took a long swig from the bottle.
And as I watched him, something utterly inexplicable happened. The fine hair all over my body began to vibrate, my meal turned to a lump of lead in my stomach and I was suddenly having some kind of waking vision. The bar was still there and so was he, but in this version of reality, he wasn't gorgeous at all. He was nothing but a carefully camouflaged abomination, and just beneath the surface of all that perfection, the barely masked stench of decay was rising from his skin. And if I got close enough, the foul odor might choke me to death. But that wasn't the full of it. I felt as if—if I could just open my eyes a little wider—I would see even more. I would see exactly what he was, if I could only look harder somehow.
I don't know how long I might have sat there, staring. Later, I would know that it was nearly long enough to get myself killed, but I knew nothing of that at the time.
I was saved from myself, from my story ending right here and now on this very page, by a sharp rap to the back of my head.
"Ow!" I hopped off my perch on the stool, turned around, and glared at my assailant.
She glared back at me—a tiny old woman, eighty if she was a day. Thick silvery-white hair was pulled back in a long braid from a fine-boned face. She was wearing black from head to toe and I was briefly aggravated to realize I might have to revise my theories about women's fashion. Before I could say, "Hey, what do you think you're doing?" she reached up and rapped me again, her knuckles cracking sharply against my forehead.
"Ow! Stop that!"
"How dare you stare at him like that?" the woman hissed. Fierce blue eyes glittered furiously at me from within nests of fine wrinkles. "Would you be jeopardizing us all, then, you damn fool?"
"Huh?" As with the elderly leprechaun of a desk clerk, I had to replay her words more slowly in my mind. Still they made no sense to me.
"The dark Tuatha Dé! How dare you betray us! And you—an O'Connor, no less! I'll be having a word with your kin, I will!"
"Huh?" It suddenly seemed the only word I could manage. Had I heard her correctly? What in the world was a too-ah-day? And who did she think I was? She raised her hand and I was afraid she was about to rap me again, so I blurted, "I'm not an O'Connor."
"Sure you are." She rolled her eyes. "That hair, those eyes. And that skin! Och, aye, you're an O'Connor through and through. The likes of him would snap a tasty little thing like you in two and be picking his teeth with your bones before you even managed to part those pretty lips to beg. Now get out of here, before you ruin us all!"
I blinked. "But I—"
She silenced me with a quelling stare no doubt perfected by half a century of practice. "Out! Now! And don't you be coming back in here. Not tonight, not ever. If you can't keep your head down and honor your bloodline, then do us all a favor—go die somewhere else."
Ow. Still blinking, I fumbled behind me for my purse. I didn't need to be hit over the head with a stick to know I wasn't wanted. A few knuckle-raps did just fine. Head high, eyes fixed straight ahead, I backed away just in case the nutty old woman got it in her mind to try to bean me again. At a safe distance, I turned and marched from the bar.
"And that's that," I muttered to myself as I stomped back to my cramped, unwelcoming room at the inn. "Welcome to Ireland, Mac."
I couldn't decide what had been more disturbing—my bizarre hallucination or the hostile crone.
My last thought before I fell asleep was that the old woman was obviously crazy. Either she was or I was, and it sure wasn't me.