Etc. Etc.
This went on till the company lay prone on the concrete, in a pool of its own sweat, unable to front, back, or go anymore.
Then Masters had us form up again.
“NOW, SINCE YOU HAVE FAILED TO COME UP WITH A COMPANY CHEER, I HAVE TAKEN WHAT IS CALLED THE INITIATIVE AND COME UP WITH ONE FOR YOU. ONE WHICH YOU WILL HAVE TO LEARN NOW.”
This is what he had come up with:
Warrior Medics in the fight!
On the double day and night!
We will beat out all the rest!
Charlie Company is the best!
Don’t stop! Get it, get it!
Soldier on, Warrior Medic!
Don’t stop! Get it, get it!
Wooooo-ooooo-ooooo-ooooo-ooooo-oo-Oooooo-ooooo-ooooo-ooooOOOOOOOO-OOOOO-OOOOO-OOOOO-OOOOO-OOOOO-AAH!
MAKE! Way! Here come the Warrior Medics!
Oo! Ta-ah! Here come the Warrior Medics!
MAKE! Way! Here come the Warrior Medics!
Oo! Ta-ah! Here come the Warrior Medics!
MAKE! Way! Here come the Warrior Medics!
Oo! Ta-ah! Here come the Warrior Medics!
The refrain was to go on indefinitely, till we were signaled to stop. That’s how it went. And from that day on, whenever the company was called to attention (something that happened no less than a million times on any given day), the company cheer was to be recited in its entirety. No exceptions. To make matters worse, after a while it got to be expected that the guidon bearer would do the robot throughout the refrain.
So don’t ever join the fucking Army.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Private Harlow was in my platoon. She’d get in trouble for wearing makeup.
They’d say, “Harlow, don’t think I don’t see that makeup!”
“Harlow, you better wash that makeup off your face!”
“Don’t let me catch you out here with makeup on again, Private!”
When we learned to take vital signs I got paired up with her. She was the casualty first. She lay on her back. She’d taken her BDU top off so it’d be easier to take her blood pressure; she just had her brown T-shirt on and she was cold because they kept the air-conditioning going full blast in the classrooms.
I was on my knees beside her with the stethoscope in my ears. I was getting the blood pressure cuff on her arm.
She said, “I’m freezing. Don’t look at my tits.”
I hadn’t looked at her tits.
Now I did.
She had nice tits.
Her tits didn’t get all flat and sideways when she lay on her back.
“I feel like I’m gonna get tea-bagged,” she said.
She smiled when I didn’t look at her.
I blew up the BP cuff.
“Do you shave your balls?”
“Goddamn.”
“That’s a yeah!”
“I can’t hear the thing when you’re talking.”
“Sorry. I’ll be quiet….Drill Sergeant Masters shaves his balls.”
“A hundred and ten over sixty.”
“You and Drill Sergeant Masters have something in common.”
“Please don’t say stuff like that.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll never say it again.”
I thought probably she was telling the truth about the guy’s balls. It was by no means unknown that the cadre fucked the female recruits sometimes. We knew they did that at Leonard Wood. It was the trade-off, I guess: the girls didn’t have to carry their equipment but the drill sergeants would fuck them, or some of them anyway. I was depressed.
When we formed up to go back to the barracks, Harlow was slow getting in formation. Masters pulled her up. She had some dip in her mouth. She was busted. Masters told her to swallow it. She fished the dip out to throw it away and he said no, she had to swallow it. She put the dip back in her mouth and swallowed it. She smiled at him. When he went away she threw up in the grass.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
It was Wednesday. We were five weeks in and coming up on our first weekend pass. Emily was flying down to see me. She’d arrive on Friday. It was going to be amazing. She was the hottest girl in the universe, and I was dying to get laid.
But it was still Wednesday, and it was 16:00, so we had to form up for Close of Business. And the first sergeant came out and told us he was fucking us. He said he wasn’t giving us full weekend passes just yet. He said he was only letting us out Saturday night so he could see how we’d do. If things went alright then he’d give us a full weekend pass next time. He said it like it was cool, like he wasn’t fucking us, like it wasn’t just an arbitrary fucking, in broad daylight, at four o’clock in the goddamn afternoon.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said. “You’re thinking it isn’t fair. You’re thinking, The other companies don’t do it this way….Well here’s the news, Warrior Medics. This ain’t other companies. This is Charlie Company, and we do things differently. That’s why we’re number one.”
I called Emily and told her the bad news. She was mad as fuck, but she said she was flying down anyway. She’d already arranged to take off from work. She said she’d come to town that Friday.
When Friday came around I couldn’t not see her. She was at the Super 8 off the highway by the base. She was close. I said fuck it. I took a chance. The company gave us an hour free every day in the afternoon for taking care of PX-type bullshit. An hour would be enough. Fifteen minutes to get there. Fifteen minutes to get back. Half an hour with Emily. I had no choice. I had to try.
I caught a cab at the big PX. I said take me to the Super 8 motel. It wasn’t five minutes from the gate. The cab let me out in front of the office. I went looking for her room; it was on the second floor. I found it. She opened the door, and the way she looked, there was nothing else for it.
* * *
—
SATURDAY she said, “I hate this.”
I said, “What can I do? I’m in it now.”
“Fuck!”
“What?”
“You act like you had no choice. But you did.”
“You act like I’m the one who left you.”
“You can’t even compare the two things,” she said.
“Why not?”
“I changed what school I was going to. You still could have come to see me whenever you wanted, and it wouldn’t have been like this. I wouldn’t have said, ‘Oh, well gee, sweetheart, I wish I could stay, but Sergeant Fuckass says I have to be in bed at FOUR O’CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON.”
She’d spent Friday night alone at the Super 8. She’d be spending Sunday night alone too. She was flying back to Elba on Monday morning. All we had was Saturday.
She said I was an asshole.
I said I understood that but I had done the best I could and it wasn’t like it had been the easiest thing in the world getting off-post Friday afternoon. I about hadn’t made it back on time and I’d have been so fucked.
About Friday she said she’d thought we could have at least talked a little first.
I said I hadn’t known she felt that way.
I said I’d thought it was the romantic thing to do.
* * *
—
SUNDAY MORNING Emily came along with me when I went back to the company. I had to go upstairs to the barracks and change into my PT clothes so I’d be ready when they called formation. I came back down in my PT shorts and my PT shirt, some ASICS running shoes on. The shorts said: ARMY. The shirt said: ARMY. I was wearing the reflector belt we always had to wear. It went diagonally across the chest. I looked like a fucking douche bag. Emily cried. She cried till it was time for her to get in a cab and leave. And the whole time I was trying to act like I was tough because I thought I was tough and I was supposed to be tough. But I wasn’t. And I can tell you now that there are many things better than to try and be tough, not the least of which is to be young and fuck your girl and leave it at that.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
There was a fake river in San Antonio. It was like the Pirates of the Caribbean ride except instead of pirates and pirate ships you got fat drunks and chain restaurants.