“Come here and kneel at my feet. Now.”
I hurried towards him, dropping down to my knees on the blanket and bowing my head. We’d already talked about how this would all go earlier. He’d given me the option of a safe word and we’d agreed if I really wanted out, I would say red or click my fingers twice like I did with the others. We both knew I wouldn’t use it regardless because I wanted this. I needed it. And he did too.
“I would call you a good girl for obeying me, but we both know that’s not true. You’re not my good girl today, are you? You’re my dirty little slut.”
He pointed at something on the floor.
“Put that in your mouth.”
I reached out and picked up the gag, securing it in my mouth with a buckle at the side. His hand went to my hair, gripping onto the braid, but he didn’t tip my head up to look at him.
“Did you do this so I had something to hold on to?” He laughed in such a cruel way, I almost flinched. Then he tugged on the braid. “My bitch wants her hair pulled whilst I fuck her, doesn’t she?”
I couldn’t reply with the gag in my mouth. His hand tightened around my braid, pulling my hair until my scalp burnt.
“You think I don’t require an answer because you can’t talk, do you? Mistake number one.”
I yelped as he tugged my hair again, this time harder.
“Let’s try that again, and this time, you’re going to answer me. My bitch wants her hair pulled, doesn’t she?”
I nodded. The pain made me feel alive. Reminded me I was in control of all of this, even though I was at his mercy right now.
“Mmm, that’s better. Don’t fuck with me, slut, or I’ll make this worse for you.”
The darker part of me wanted him to make it worse. Wanted him to hurt me so I cried and purged everything holding me back. To exorcise my demons in the place where all our heartache and pain started. To heal me once and for all.
“Now, you’re going to bend over and put your hands behind your back. I want your chin on the blanket so you can stare out at the view, you hear me?”
My moan behind the gag was his answer. He let go of my braid. I did as he asked, leaning on my chin with my hands behind my back, facing the city. It was super fucking uncomfortable, but this wasn’t about my comfort. It was about pushing me right out of it.
He took a hold of my hands and cuffed them, making it ten times worse for me. I whimpered behind the gag, but it was ignored. My skirt was pushed up over my behind, exposing my skin to the air. A chuckle burst from his lips.
“Look at this bare little pussy, just waiting for cock.” Then he ran his thumb between my cheeks, knocking the little plug he’d inserted earlier. “And this? Mmm, I think someone wants to be fucked here, doesn’t she? What a cock hungry little bitch you are.”
I shifted, growing ever more uncomfortable leaning on my chin and because of the ache between my legs. Being degraded by him had me desperate for his body against mine. To feel all of his brutality.
“Mmm, yes, you are, waving this pretty pussy at me. If you think that’s going to make me fuck it quicker, you’re mistaken.”
The slap across my behind radiated up my spine a second later, the sharp sting of it making me cry out against the gag.
“You see, you’ve been a bad girl. Bad girls get punished before they’re fucked. Especially dirty little sluts who want nothing more than to be railed to within an inch of their lives. That’s what you are, isn’t it? A slut. A bitch desperate for all her holes to be filled at once. You want to be used until you’re crying from shame, pain, and despair. Only then will you ever be satisfied.”
More slaps came. I cried out from each of them, trying to keep my chin in place. He stopped, giving me a second’s reprieve before my braid was in his fist and he pulled me upright by it. His other hand circled my neck as he pressed his front to my back, pinning my arms between us.
“Look. Look at the place it happened. Do you feel it, slut? Do you feel how much pain is in this place? How much we’ve fucking suffered for our sins?” He stroked my neck with his thumb. “You do, don’t you? You know how much it fucking hurts.”
I whimpered, straining against him. His words dug into the parts of me still shattered by what happened that night. They shone a light on the wounds, making them visible to both of us.
“That’s right, my little slut, you know how it feels. How much we’ve burnt for each other in ways no one should. Feel it. Fucking feel it. Let it rip through you.”
My heart hurt, the memories surfacing and slamming into me. The way he’d shouted my name when I fell. The pain in his amber eyes. The horrifying sound my body made when it hit the floor. All of it burst through, leaving me defenceless and utterly at his mercy.
“That’s it.” He tightened his hand around my airway, squeezing the sides. “Let it out. Show me your pain. Let me have all of it.”
Tears slid down my cheeks. They dripped onto his hand. He pressed his lips to my ear, his tongue tracing the line of it. I tried to talk behind the gag, but it was impossible. Spit dribbled out of my mouth as I struggled against his hold on me.
“That’s right. You know you need this. Give me your fucking pain.”
I wanted to scream and tell him I couldn’t do this. Tell him I wasn’t strong enough. West held me through it, allowing me to purge the memory of the worst experience of my life. Even as he used harsh words, they soothed me. They made me whole again.
“Scream it, my little slut. Tell the whole fucking world how much it hurts.”
No matter how loud I tried to scream, no matter how much it burnt my throat to do so, the noise was hampered by the gag. It’s why he’d given it to me. To allow me to purge my pain without anyone but him hearing the sound.
I sobbed, shifting against him and my bindings. I let it all rip, the pain seeping out of my pores onto the concrete floor. West took my pain. He took it all. The memory replayed over and over in my mind. The moment my hand slipped from his and I fell. How I’d told him I loved him. How he screamed for me. And how I’d landed, passing out from all the pain.
When I was finally spent from the crying and screaming, I slumped against him, closing my eyes. It was done. The memory dissipated, leaving just me and him alone in the building where our lives had split apart.
“Good girl,” he murmured. “You’re my good girl, little Scar.”
Then he removed the gag from my mouth, tossing it to the side.
“I’m going to make it better for you. I’ll heal you, my little warrior.”
He laid me down on the blanket on my back with my arms still cuffed behind my back. My eyes opened, staring up at him looming over me with a dark glint in his eyes. His hands slid up my legs, making me bend my knees for him. My skirt was bunched at my waist, leaving me utterly exposed.
“West…”