Men
There are also men in the world. Sometimes we forget, and think there are only women—endless hills and plains of unresisting women. We make little jokes and comfort each other and our lives pass quickly. But every now and then, it is true, a man rises unexpectedly in our midst like a pine tree, and looks savagely at us, and sends us hobbling away in great floods to hide in the caves and gullies until he is gone.
Negative Emotions
A well-meaning teacher, inspired by a text he had been reading, once sent all the other teachers in his school a message about negative emotions. The message consisted entirely of advice quoted from a Vietnamese Buddhist monk.
Emotion, said the monk, is like a storm: it stays for a while and then it goes. Upon perceiving the emotion (like a coming storm), one should put oneself in a stable position. One should sit or lie down. One should focus on one’s abdomen. One should focus, specifically, on the area just below one’s navel, and practice mindful breathing. If one can identify the emotion as an emotion, it may then be easier to handle.
The other teachers were puzzled. They did not understand why their colleague had sent them a message about negative emotions. They resented the message, and they resented their colleague. They thought he was accusing them of having negative emotions and needing advice about how to handle them. Some of them were, in fact, angry.
The teachers did not choose to regard their anger as a coming storm. They did not focus on their abdomens. They did not focus on the area just below their navels. Instead, they wrote back immediately, declaring that because they did not understand why he had sent it, his message had filled them with negative emotions. They told him that it would take a lot of practice for them to get over the negative emotions caused by his message. But, they went on, they did not intend to do this practice. Far from being troubled by their negative emotions, they said, they in fact liked having negative emotions, particularly about him and his message.
I’m Pretty Comfortable, But I Could Be a Little More Comfortable
I’m tired.
The people in front of us are taking a long time choosing their ice cream.
My thumb hurts.
A man is coughing during the concert.
The shower is a little too cold.
The work I have to do this morning is difficult.
They have seated us too close to the kitchen.
There’s a long line at the shipping counter.
I’m cold sitting in the car.
The cuff of my sweater is damp.
The shower is weak.
I’m hungry.
They’re quarreling again.
This soup doesn’t have much taste.
My navel orange is a little dry.
I didn’t get two seats to myself on the train.
He is keeping me waiting.
They have gone off and left me alone at the dinner table.
She says my breathing is incorrect.
I need to go to the bathroom, but someone is in there.
I’m a little tense.
The back of my neck feels prickly.
The cat has ringworm.
The person behind me on the train is eating something very smelly.
It’s too hot in that room for me to practice the piano.
He calls me when I’m working.
I bought sour cream by mistake.
My fork is too short.
I’m so tired I won’t do well at my lesson.
This apple has brown spots on it.
I ordered a dry corn muffin, but when it came, it wasn’t dry.
He chews so loudly I have to turn on the radio.
This pesto is hard to blend.
The wart on my thumb is growing back.
I can’t have anything to eat or drink this morning because of the test.
She has parked her Mercedes across the end of my driveway.
I ordered an oat bran raisin muffin lightly toasted, but it wasn’t lightly toasted.
My tea water takes too long to boil.
The seam in the toe of my sock is twisted.
It’s too cold in that room for me to practice the piano.
He doesn’t pronounce foreign words correctly.
My tea is too milky.
I’ve been in the kitchen too long.
There’s cat saliva on my new sock.
My seat doesn’t have a back.
The blender is leaking at the bottom.
I can’t decide whether to go on reading this book.
I missed the view of the river from the train because it got dark.
The raspberries are sour.
The pepper grinder doesn’t grind very well.
The cat has peed on my telephone.
My Band-Aid is wet.
The store is out of decaf hazelnut coffee.
My sheets get all twisted in the dryer.
The carrot cake was a little stale.
When I toast the raisin bread, the raisins get very hot.
The bridge of my nose is a little dry.
I’m sleepy, but I can’t lie down.
The sound system in the examining room is playing folk music.
I don’t look forward very much to that sandwich.
They have a new weatherman on the radio.
Now that the leaves are off the trees, we can see the neighbor’s new deck.
I don’t think I like my bedspread anymore.
In the restaurant they are playing a loop of soft rock music.
My glasses frames are cold.
There is St. André cheese on the platter, but I can’t have any.
The clock is ticking very loudly.