“Meena was my sister.”
I can’t do anything but sit and stare at him, unsure whether I’m hallucinating or this is actually real. Her brother. I remember her telling me about him. He was the one that basically cared for her—ensured she was fed and had clean clothes. Their mom was a druggie, too obsessed with getting her next fix to give a shit about her kids. When she died from a heroin overdose, the two of them were put into foster care where they were separated. The day she was sent to a different home than him, was the last day they saw each other.
When Meena first showed up at the compound, she used to cry herself to sleep every night. Back then, all of the recruits slept in the same, large room, and some of the other kids would give her a hard time over it. I didn’t really understand her sadness. I’d never cared about anyone enough to miss them that much, but I could practically feel the pain pouring off her, and could only imagine how difficult it would be to lose the one constant in your life; never mind ending up trapped in this godforsaken place.
My eyes roam over his face. “I don’t…” I shake my head, words failing me as I struggle to wrap my head around the fact that Meena’s brother is here right now. “How?” The word is barely a croak, and even though my head is swimming with questions, I’m incapable of saying anything more.
He’s still crouched in front of me, with his arms leaning on his thick, muscular thighs. At my question, his head drops to his chest, and he releases a heavy sigh, fraught with so much heartache it sucks the oxygen out of the room.
“When I aged out of the system, I went looking for her. I got the address of the last foster home she was at, but the people there told me she’d run away three months earlier.” A pained expression crosses his features, and in frustration, he runs his hand over his short, buzz cut hairstyle.
“I searched everywhere for her. I spent months trawling the streets, trying to find her, or anyone who had seen her. No one knew who she was, or at least, they weren’t willing to tell me anything if they did. I’d gone years without any viable leads, and I’d all but given up, until I first heard the whispers about kids being taken from the street. I knew it was a long shot, but I had nothing to lose. It took fucking forever to get any sort of proof, and even longer to find a way in.”
“How long have you been here for?”
“Just under a year.”
So he must have arrived shortly after I left.
“So you know…” I trail off, unable to say the actual words, but I don’t need to. He gives a quick jerk of his head, lowering his gaze so I can’t see the grief that I have no doubt is swimming in them.
“I do.” His words are choked, and it takes him a second to compose himself before he says anything further. “They told me you were friends.”
I swallow around the lump of emotion clogging my throat, licking my already dry lips. “We were. She…” I pause, struggling to find the right words, before blurting out the blunt and honest truth. “She saved me.”
“How…” He looks away, emotion once again rendering him speechless as nausea churns in my stomach, and the memories of that day rush to the surface.
“No,” Meena cries vehemently as tears stream down her face. She’s on her knees in the middle of the ring, perched beside the unconscious form of a new recruit.
“Kill her, or I’ll kill you,” the guard snarls, growing impatient with Meena’s stalling.
Every day, we have to get in the ring with each other and fight until someone can’t get up again, but we’ve never been asked to kill our opponent before.
Meena sobs over the girl's unconscious form, shaking her head as the rest of us watch on with baited breath.
“Meena,” I cry out, my own cheeks wet. Her head lifts to look at me through watery eyes, and the look on her face breaks some essential part inside of me. “Please,” I plead, ignoring the fact I’m begging her to kill someone.
Her lower lip trembles, a fresh wave of tears streaming down her face, but she doesn’t give in. If anything, the longer she looks at me, the more her resolve reinforces itself.
Her face hardens into a determined mask that only destroys me further because I know what it means. I’m shaking my head, silently imploring her not to do this, but the second the guard told her to kill the innocent kid in front of her, I knew she would never do it. No amount of pleading with her will ever change her mind because, unlike everyone else in this cesspit, myself included, Meena is pure. She’s got the heart of an angel. She’s been here for about five years, but she’s never once let the scumbags in this place destroy the goodness in her. She’s got something none of the rest of us have—integrity.
It’s because of her that I’m still here, that I’m still human enough to know right from wrong, even though, right now, I’m begging her with everything I have to do the wrong thing...just this once.
Please, Meena. I can’t live without you. It’s selfish of me because you’re far too good for this place, and if this is the life you’re meant to live, then death is your only way out, so you can spend eternity with the angels in heaven where you belong, but please. If you’re not here to pull me back from the darkness, I’m scared of what I’ll become.
“I don’t have all day, girlie,” the guard snaps. His harsh words make Meena’s attention break from mine and she lifts her chin when she looks at him.
“No.” This time the word comes out strong, defiant, and even though I’m dying inside, I’m so fucking proud of her.
The guard doesn’t appreciate her defiance though, and he takes a menacing step toward her, followed by another. Every time his heavy boot hits the floor, my stomach twists dangerously, and my pulse skyrockets. I’m not sure if I’m about to be sick or pass out.
Instead of watching him draw closer, though, Meena returns her gaze to mine, and I hold it, refusing to look away from her. “I love you,” she mouths, even as tears flow steadily and fear shines in her eyes.
“I love you too.”
It feels like it takes forever, yet no time at all, for the guard to traverse the distance to the mat where Meena is kneeling, and his hand snaps out, slapping her across the face with enough force that she falls onto the mat, a gasp escaping from her.
He doesn’t stop there though, kicking out with his steel-toed boot next. The air rushes out of her as his foot connects with her stomach, and she curls in on herself. I don’t even realize I’m screaming and trying to get to her, until I receive my own slap. It’s only then that I notice I'm being restrained by another guard. I barely register the sting in my cheek as I watch the scene unfold in front of me, Meena’s cries of pain drilling into my mind. It’s a sound I’ll never forget. It’ll haunt my nightmares for the rest of my days.